resourceful? Whatever the next steps will be, we’ll have to think a lot harder before we take them.
Maybe Joshua was right. Maybe the aliens have no use for the plantations anymore. We’ll have
to figure out a way to rescue as many children as possible before it’s too late.
Kroll has found the man who is supposed to be my brother. He was tied down in a storage room.
One look and I know it isn’t him. He does not have my brother’s hazel eyes. But he’s one more soul
that’s rescued. That should count for something. Only if I could convince myself that the price paid
was worth it.
A few minutes after we leave the plantation, I come to a halt. I am overcome with a sense of
grief that paralyzes my nervous system. I drop to my knees. I see Tobi’s face and I’m grateful that he’s alive and safe. But that feeling is quickly replaced by a feeling of guilt because while my own child is safe, so many have perished.
Someone stops in front of me. I raise my face to meet Damian’s troubled eyes. It’s good to know
he’s not indifferent to this devastation. He kneels down next to me and takes me in his arms. We stay
like this without saying anything, still and perfectly quiet. Then my tears come in a flood soaking my face and his shirt.
“I made the wrong decision,” I say through my sobs.
“It’s war,” he says. “All decisions are wrong in war. Someone will always end up dead no
matter what you choose.”
I hold on to him as tight as I can. I need the reassurance in his voice, his calm reasoning, the
soothing effect of his words.
I let go of him and wipe my tears with the back of my sleeve. I notice that Kroll is waiting a few
feet away. He bows when I catch his glance.
“They are coming,” he says. “Your friends. On an armored vehicle.”
I get up and focus my gaze on the distant image. I spring to my feet and look to Damian for
support. There should be more than one vehicle.
“I’ll go meet them,” he says. “You stay here.”
How much grief can one person take in one single day? I spin around my heels and dig my own
nails into the skin of my palms. I have no use for bad news anymore. I want to close my eyes and go to sleep and only wake up when the wounded have been healed and the dead appeased.
Finn comes to me minutes later. Or is it years? Because he looks older and dustier than I
remember and he doesn’t seem to be able to walk straight.
“Tick,” he says as he puts his arms around me. “Joshua and his team were hit by the liquid
bombs.”
“Are they all dead?” I say. The sooner I know, the better.
“No, Joshua survived and two of the fighters. But they’re in bad shape.”
“I might be able to help,” I say. Then a thought crosses my mind. “What about Ella?”
Finn shakes his head. “She’s fine. She stayed at the base. She said you advised her to do so.” A
pained smile crosses his lips for a second. “You may have saved her life.”
I nod. I don’t know what that means but I nod. Saving one. Letting a thousand children burn.
That’s bad math for my soul.
“Let’s go,” I say. “I’ll get some white energy into the wounded.”
He takes my hand. “Wait,” he says and his eyes well up.
“What? Finn?”
“Gritu and Doc,” he says, “they went with them.”
“Finn?”
“They’re gone, Freya.”
I bang my fists against his chest. He pulls me closer.
“That wasn’t their orders,” I plead. “They have to listen to us. To you, Finn. They have to listen
to you. Why didn’t they listen?”
“I don’t know,” Finn can only say.
I walk away covering my ears with my hands. Not Doc. I accelerate my pace, going from
walking to running. Deep down in the very core of me I am breaking. I am chipping away little by
little, death by death and I will keep on coming undone until I am nothing but scattered pieces of bone.
My beautiful Doc. His bright eyes extinguished from the world. I want to feel he is alive again.
Right now. I want to feel his presence in the dead part of my heart.
*
IT’S RAINING. The weather is humid in this new district which means the vegetation is greener
and taller.
The Dark Legion have been working tirelessly day and night to set up shelter for all the children.
I’ll have to find a name for them because I don’t want to call them Sliman anymore. They are ours
now and we will have to give them a new name and a new identity.
The only thing that holds me together is that I will see Tobi soon. Joshua has recovered and he
will fly Terra 8 back to the space station. I am still trying to come to terms with what happened. Why did I allow all those people to come back to Earth with me? The Dark Legion should have been
enough. I shouldn’t have risked the lives of my friends and allies.
They can tell me a million times that they all wanted to be here with me, that they are my equals
and they make their own choices but the truth is that I could have prevented them. They were looking
up to me for orders and directions.
And now we will never see Doc again. We never got to say goodbye and I’ll never be able to
tell him how much I loved him and valued his friendship.
To go back and change history. The one thing the receptor will never be able to do.
I step outside the tent and into the rain. It feels good on my skin and soothing to my incessant
thoughts. I am tempted to get the receptor out and create rainbows but my heart isn’t really into it.
Maybe someday I’ll do it for the children to see.
I walk further into the woods admiring the glistening vegetation and the overgrown flowers;
stepping on mud the color of clay.
I know that Finn has followed me long before he decides to make his presence known.
“Don’t you love a summer rain?” I say.
“It’s always summer,” he reminds me.
“Yes, but it’s not always raining.”
We walk side by side in silence. There’s not much to say. I know that he sneaks into my tent
every night to make sure I’m fine. I pretend that I’m sleeping but I think he knows the truth. He knows that I’m afraid to fall asleep and enter the realm of nightmares. He knows because it’s the same with
him.
“Listen,” he says. “A bird singing.”
I stop to listen how the elaborate vocals of a small bird blend with the crystal sounds of
raindrops on leaves and branches.
“It’s beautiful,” I say. “And out of place. A bird singing in the rain.” I touch Finn’s face. It’s wet and so are his clothes and hair. We’re both soaking wet.
“We will be clean one day,” I say. “Not just from the rain falling, but also in our hearts.”
He grabs me gently by the hair and buries his face in my neck. When we kiss, I know it’s not like
before. It’s not love or anger that pulls us together now. It’s pain and sorrow and an unspeakable
desire to be somewhere else. Maybe being able to tame each other’s nightmares is a good place to
rest upon and allow yourself to fall in love.
The rain falls harder now. It lashes my face and shakes me from my dream. “How many times
are we going to do this?” I say. “What’s the point of it all, Finn? Too much has happened. I’m broken.
The last thing we need is more reasons to feel guilty.”
“I know all that, but I don’t know how to stop wanting you.”
Finn’
s so damn sweet sometimes. I rest my head against his shoulder. “We’re going to get
through this,” I say. “It will all make sense someday.”
“Someday,” he says with a sigh. “Seems like we’ve been waiting for that our whole lives.”
*
ON A DARK EVENING under a starless sky, the Dark Legion vows everlasting allegiance to
me and the Saviors through the mouth of Kroll. They bang their right fists against their chests to show their loyalty. The transformation is complete.
We are about to take off, Joshua, Ella, the two fighters that survived the bombing, Damian, Finn,
Zoe, Nya, Theo and me. I am not too happy about leaving all the children behind, but Kroll has vowed
to protect them with his life. I try to remember that some of them are older than Rabbit, Scout and
Tilly but the truth is they have never tasted freedom before. They might not know what to do with it
yet.
“It’s not going to be long,” I say using the receptor to project my voice. “We will be back and
we will start our new life. Now we have to secure the space station and make sure everyone’s safe
there. The older ones among you will take care of the younger ones. And you will all support each
other. That’s how it’s done in a free community.”
As I turn to go, a girl steps out of the crowd. She walks up to me slowly. When she gets close, I
recognize her. It’s the girl that talked to me on the screen, the one that said she was like me.
“I wish to speak to you if you will let me,” she says.
“Of course,” I say. “I know you.”
“What I said to you, about me being like you, I don’t know if it’s true. They told me it was, but I
don’t believe it. Not after having seen you in action.”
“There’s only one way to find out,” I say.
I go to her and hand her the extra sensory receptor device I have now. She takes it in her hand
and squeezes it. She tries again and again to turn the receptor on but nothing happens.
“I guess it’s not true,” she says disappointed.
“Did you want it to be true?” I say.
“I want to be special,” she says.
“You are special. A lot more than you think.” I push her hair back from her eyes. “I need your
help with something.”
Her face beams. “Anything,” she says.
“I need you to help every child pick a name. Start with yourself.”
“How will we do that?” she says.
“Joshua,” I say. “Give me that history book you always carry around.”
“This was my father’s book,” he says as he hands it to me.
“You’ll have it back,” I say and then smile at the girl. “We promise, right?”
“Promise,” she says.
The prospect of naming everyone has warmed her heart. Sometimes all we need is a purpose.
We climb onto Terra 8 and get our seatbelts on. Zoe and Nya hold hands. Ella sneaks in next to
Finn. Damian sits by himself. Theo is busy with his touchpad. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that
everything has gone back to normal.
But nothing is normal. We have lost our dear friend and we have lost Gritu. We’ve seen
thousands of children blown to pieces. We’ve rescued thousands more. The nastiest army in the
world is on our side. We’re building our own plantation in a new district.
Now we have the weapons to rival those of the Shadow Empire, but we have much more than
that. We have compassion, we have innocence and we have love. And there is no greater purpose or
energy field than love.
19
Sleeping with Tobi in my arms has chased away some of the darkness in my soul. I can hardly
believe it’s been only three weeks since I left him. It feels like months, even years. A different
lifetime. Because nothing is the same nor ever will be.
But Tobi is here with me, chubby and good-natured as always, hungry for the warmth of my
caresses and the softness of my voice.
“All children need to feel safe and loved,” I whisper in his ear before handing him over to Pip.
Her eyes are red and I know she’s been crying all night. I kiss her forehead as I get ready to go
out to the Main Command Deck. I will have to face Commander Eldritch and the assembly and
explain myself, I guess. Explain how I have caused the death of Wade and eight more of their fighters.
My mind is on overload when I take the moving walkway to Sector Three. I enter the Main
Command Deck with a heavy heart. Commander Eldritch greets me from the head of the table.
Everybody else stand up and bow their heads to me. It’s a lot to take in and for a moment I just stand there not knowing what to do.
“Please, take a seat, Freya,” Commander Eldritch says. I notice that they have reserved a seat
next to the commander for me. When I’m seated, I look around the table to spot the familiar faces of
Joshua, Ella, Lainey, Finn, Damian, Zoe and Theo. There are also a few Exodus officers present as
well as two of the twenty members of the parliament whom I’ve barely seen before.
“We are all in awe of what you’ve accomplished,” Commander Eldritch says. “You have
uncovered deep secrets of the Empire. You have taken over their most powerful and capable army
and you have eradicated an entire plantation freeing almost two thousand children. Nobody has even
come close to that in a century of slavery. You, Freya, are to become an honorary member of our
parliament.”
A round of applause follows his words and I feel hard pressed for an answer. My mouth dries
up. My cheeks burn. I could say that the blood on my hands can’t be washed off with honors and
applause but that would probably be a selfish reaction to the moment. I have to be who they need me
to be.
“There remain a few things that we need to agree upon,” Joshua says. “Ensuring the safety of
both the station and the new community we are building on Earth.”
“We would have never found that perfect location if it weren’t for you,” I say to him, finally
able to articulate something reasonable. “We will be forever in your debt.”
Joshua flew out over the adjoining districts for many hours in search of a place for the new
encampment. He risked his life doing this and he did so soon after he lost the lives of so many of his men.
“We’re all in this together now,” the commander says. “Your friends Zoe and Theo tell me that
you can enhance our shield and create a new one so that both locations are safe.”
“Relatively safe, yes,” I say. “I can provide the energy needed to jumpstart the shielding
process.”
Theo gets up and walks to the console to start his presentation of the new features for shielding
systems. As he brings up a large screen, I feel a buzzing in my right pocket where I keep my receptor.
I take it out to take a look and see that the alerting red light is on. The buzzing gets louder and then a siren alarm goes off.
“What is it?” Finn says. “Why are you doing this?”
“I’m not,” I say frustrated. “The receptor does it by itself.”
“Has it happened before?” Zoe says.
“No, never.” Then a second light alarm goes off in my head.
“The second receptor,” I say. “I had them connected last night, one responds to the other.”
“Where’s the second receptor?” Theo says.
I jump out of my seat. “I left it in Tobi’s crib,” I say and take off running. I can’t think straight.
Finn ca
tches up to me in a cart. “Jump in,” he says.
I do so and thank him in a whisper.
“Who’s with Tobi?” he says.
“Pip.”
“Try contacting her. The commander has alerted the security team in Sector One.”
I try to contact Pip on her touchpad but she doesn’t respond. We get to my room not a minute too
soon. The place is empty. Tobi and Pip are gone. There’s no sign of a fight which gives me some
hope.
“Maybe they went for a walk,” I say. I bend over the crib and find the receptor lying there
smashed and broken down.
*
THE STATION IS ON LOCKDOWN. Every single person on board is looking for Pip and
Tobi. Every single person except me. The commander has ordered me to stay put for security reasons.
I know that the true reason is he thinks I’m presently unstable. I play along and pretend I can be useful here. I owe him this much.
Damian shows up when I’m about to break my promise and leave the room. Every minute that
goes by is killing me.
“I’m going crazy,” I say. “I’ve been locked in here for I don’t know how long. I can’t take it
anymore.”
He studies me carefully. “It’s been twenty-five minutes,” he says. “No one has left the station.
We will find them. Stay put. I need some of Tobi’s clothes. Something that he wore recently that
hasn’t been washed yet.”
I hand him the pajama pants Tobi had on last night. Damian brings them to his face and starts
sniffing like a hound.
“Do you mind if I take them with me?” he says.
I shake my head. “What are you going to do?”
“Find our son,” he says. “And kill whoever took him.”
He leaves running and I realize that not only is the Sliman in him now awake, but also the father.
He will use his unique sharpened senses to track Tobi down. I feel better. If there’s someone who can
do it, it’s him.
I pace around the room restlessly. I’m sweating but when I turn on the cold air, I start shivering.
Nothing feels good for my body and spirit right now. After a while, I can’t do it. I can’t obey the
commander on this. I rush out of the room and into the corridors of Sector One. I soon understand I
[scifan] plantation - books one to three Page 45
