by James Kelman
Aye did he? and did he tell ye how ye were gony pay for it yerself?
I’ve got money da.
Aye well so have I.
He says I was to do it and he would get them off me.
So what is he gony go up to yer grannie’s house? Eh?
He didnay tell us.
Sammy sighed. It’s my business son know what I’m saying, I dont want yer maw and yer grannie and granpa knowing.
They willnay. Honest. The guy says I was to get them and he would get them on Wednesday.
Wednesday?
Aye. But I mean…if you think you should get them.
See it might be better Peter. It’s just how like if – see I dont want them knowing.
They’ll no but da cause I’ll pick up the phone.
…
He’s doing it at half-eight the morrow morning. I put them in the night and they’ll be ready the morrow cause it’s twenty-four hours.
It is Mister Samuels.
I’ll be there to pick it up when he rings.
What happens if he’s late and ye’re away to school?
…
See!
Da I dont care, if you want to get them…
Naw it’s no that Peter it’s just ye know yer mother. She’s a worrier son. Know what I’m talking about? A lot of women are worriers; your mother’s one of them. Yer grannie was the same – christ no your grannie my grannie, what am I saying jesus christ your great grannie, your great grannie! Sammy laughed. I’m cracking up in my auld age. Never mind. Ah ye’d have liked yer. She aye had something to give ye ye know, when ye were a wee boy, an apple or a fucking orange, a couple of bob – I mind one time I went her messages; I shouldnay tell ye this; I was skint; near your age I was; the same as Keith here I was a smoker, so I wanted ten fags, so I knocked the messages out the shop… Sammy chuckled. So I got the fags. Never mind. Ah she was good but you’d have liked her.
…
Sammy swallowed the last of the coffee, then he said: Probably the guy will phone on time. Ye reckon it’ll be okay?
I think so da aye.
Sammy nodded. Hang on a minute… He went through to the bedroom and got some dough. In the kitchen he held out a couple of notes: What’s this?
Twenty quid.
Two tens?
Aye.
Right. He waved one: Here! to get them developed.
Da I’ve got money, I telt ye.
Sammy pulled a face.
It’s too much anyway.
Share the change between ye.
Da…
Share the change. Pays yer bus-fare home.
We’ve got passes.
Well buy a fucking bar of chocolate then Peter christ sake son know what I mean, come on, it’s only a tenner! Sammy grinned.
Peter sighed.
Come on it’s only a bloody tenner, here…! He waved the note till it was taken from his hand. Okay, he said. Now the thing is Ally will phone ye, I know he will. So you just be careful what I’m saying, that ye’ve to arrange it so naybody finds out. Naybody at all. Just yous two. Eh Keith? you and Peter; naybody else. No your maw and da either. Naybody. Okay?
Maybe he’ll want us to post them? said Peter.
Whatever; leave it to him – mind you I dont think he will want ye to post them; very doubtful. In fact there’s nay chance. Naw Peter ye’re gony have to put them into his hand. So do that. Okay?
Aye.
And naybody’s to know; eh Keith?
Naw I’ll no tell naybody Mister Samuels.
Great. One more thing now, just the auld eyes and that, dont tell yer maw about that either son, eh?
I’ll no.
In fact it’s even better if ye dont tell her ye’ve seen me. It’s no important but it’s just it’s better. Is that alright?
Aye.
As I say it’s just I think it’s better.
I wasnay gony tell her.
Aye, good. Okay then… Sammy sat back on the armchair.
Is it alright if I use the bathroom Mister Samuels?
On ye go son.
When Keith had gone Peter said: Da…?
What? What?
Are you on the run?
The run! Naw! Christ sake what made ye think of that? Eh?
…
Did that guy say something?
Naw.
What then! Sammy chuckled.
I dont know.
Naw. I’m no on the run.
Peter sniffed. Cause if ye were I could help ye.
…
Know what I mean da, I could. There’s a place I know. It’s up the back of the scheme. It’s an auld house; well it’s flats; but they’re boarded up; the whole close. There’s people use it; you could as well.
Junkies?
Naw. Well some maybe but a guy I know’s dossing there the now.
A guy you know?
Aye, he’s seventeen, he was in my BB.
He’s no a junkie?
Naw. He smokes pot right enough.
But he’s on the run?
Aye. He’s gony be heading soon; he’s just waiting.
Where’s he heading?
England.
Right… Peter did you tell Keith to go to the bathroom?
Naw.
Mm…just cause he seems to be away a while.
I didnay tell him.
Nah I wasnay meaning nothing just like if ye were wanting to say what ye were saying private.
Keith knows the guy as well.
Right. He’s yer mate Keith eh?
Aye. Da I mean I’ve got a sleeping bag.
Sammy nodded. Aye a sleeping bag’s handy…aye.
I dont need it, you can have it.
Sammy smiled. Ah well, I know where to come if eh… He nodded and smiled again. He heard movement. What’s that? he said.
I was just going to the window.
Aw…right.
Is that woman at her work?
Aye.
Is it a pub she works?
Helen’s her name, aye, she works in a pub. Sammy sniffed. Heh son see what I was saying there about yer maw and that I mean, no to give ye the wrong idea; she’s good. Ye’ll notice but about her, she’s aye wanting to know where ye are, what ye’re up to, that kind of thing. Ye must have noticed that eh? Women do that ye see. Yer grannie was the same, I’m talking about yer other grannie, my mother, like if my auld man was away somewhere, she aye worried until he was back; once he stepped foot inside the door that was her and she was fine; see afore that! she couldnay sit still. No kidding ye!
…
Naw see me and yer mother, we were young, ye know the story, it was a funny situation, it wasnay the usual thing. What I mean cause I was inside. See we used to see each other afore I got put in. Then when I got out I came back to Glasgow again and we just sort of picked up where we left off. But what I think, if I hadnay got stuck in prison, if I had just been here, being honest, I dont think we would have got married, know what I’m saying, I think we would just have drifted, went wur separate ways; the way these things go, that’s all I’m talking about.
The door opened. Keith came in.
I’m just saying to Peter about me and his mother, how me being inside, it gave us a different picture.
…
Peter said: Da I know what ye’re saying.
Sammy nodded. I’m no gony go into it, it’s just so ye know, like in your position, if it was me, ye’re better knowing. Cause it’s no a big deal, no really, me and yer maw splitting up – sorry, ye know, I’m just saying – see prison! Telling ye, does yer head it does yer head. Ruined everything. Except the usual! Know what the usual is! Eh? Know what the usual is? you’re the usual! Sammy grinned: If I hadnay got captured, when I got captured, well you wouldnay be here! Who knows but maybe ye would! Same with yerself Keith, if it was you, yer maw and da, naybody knows these things. No kidding ye; wild, totally wild. See weans change things. Sammy chuckled. Honest! Yez do! Ye think I’m raving but I’m no! Y
e could even say it was good I went to prison.
Da.
Ye could but. You could.
Da that’s daft.
Aye I know, but still. Sammy sniffed. He had been rolling a cigarette and now he got it lit. Tell ye one thing, he said, I’ve never been on the run. I got captured twice, but I wasnay on the run. I was in the middle of doing it, the business. Fair enough I mean the sodjers got a grip of me. But I wasnay on the run. They just fucking – know what I mean they nabbed me; that was that. It was in the act, I was doing it. It’s no anything big I’m telling ye it’s just there’s a difference. Sammy shrugged. It was my own fault anyway, I’m no saying it wasnay; I should have kept the head down. Cause if they dont know ye’re there they dont know ye’re there. Once ye move ye’re giving them the wire. Come and get me boys know what I’m saying? so ye’ve got to go very very cautious, very very cautious… Sammy wet his lips then rubbed at his neck, the bristles there.
Da what’s up?
Nothing. How?
…
Sammy inhaled on the fag, blew out smoke. The thing about me the now, he said, I might as well tell ye, I’m thinking of heading.
Aw da.
Back to England.
Da.
Trying to get a job and that ye know? get fixed up, the eyes and that.
Aw da.
Naw it’s nothing it’s just that’s best the now cause the way things are here ye know what I mean there’s fuck all, fuck all, that’s how, know what I mean ye’ve got fucking, ye’ve got to head ye know, that’s all I mean son ye’ve got to head, ye dont always… What can ye do ye know? Ye cannay always do what ye want. So that’s how the now I’ve got to head.
Da it’s no cause of that woman?
What woman?
Her; yer girlfriend.
Not at all what ye talking about?
Well how come ye’re going?
Just what I’ve been saying.
Is she going with ye?
Aye; know what I mean Peter, her and me, we get on fine. Once I get fixed up and that, I’ll be sending for her, and she’ll come down. We do but, we get on fine the gether. Just the same as yer mother and the guy she sees; that’s all it is it’s just relationships, they’re weird; wait till ye get aulder and ye’ll find out – you too Keith, I’m telling ye, they’re weird, ye cannay work them out, they just happen.
My auldest brother’s divorced, said Keith.
What age is he?
Thirty.
Thirty? hh – you the youngest?
Aye.
Many brothers and sisters ye got?
Five.
Five, aye, that’s good. Plenty of company eh! Sammy smiled. Naw, he said, the thing is Peter this time, now ye’re aulder, I’ll keep in touch, I’ll write ye letters.
…
Okay?
Da…?
What? What is it?
Did somebody give ye a doing?
Naw, not at all. That’s bullshit Peter.
I just was wondering.
Sammy smiled.
When is it ye’re going?
Aw soon, soon.
How long ye gony be away?
Depends.
If ye cannay see but how ye gony get a job? they’ll no give ye one.
Once I can see but that’s what I’m talking about. Helen’ll get a job first and I’ll just stay on the sick till it’s all straightened out. Which might be the morrow, it might be next week, the week after; who knows.
Can the doctor no tell ye?
Naw no really; that’s how the likes of my mate that phoned ye about the photos, he makes a point of thinking about all the wee details; that’s how it’s good he’s there.
Keith said: Does he do something?
What like son?
I dont know…
Ah well aye he does actually, what he does is helps me with my claims to get insurance.
Aw aye.
Cause it’s hard to do it yerself Keith, two heads are better than one. Ye’ve got to be up to them, they’re cagey bastards. That’s the main reason I’m gony shoot, cause they’ll no be expecting it. That’s how when Peter says if I was on the run there ye see I’m no, but I have got to get away, if I dont it’s just gony set me back.
…
Alright?
Aye.
Alright Peter?
It’s terrible.
It is terrible; it’s just got to be done but.
…
Sammy heard him sigh and he shrugged: It’s one of these things son, know what I’m saying, there’s nothing ye can do.
Da see that thing in the kitchen ye were wanting to show me? Want to show me?
What?
Ye were wanting to show me that thing in the kitchen?
Aye, just if ye could fix it, come ben and see… Sammy moved to the door; Peter was out already and into the kitchen and he closed the door behind Sammy when he came in. Da, he said, I’d like to go with ye.
Aw christ.
Da I do.
Aye; but ye cannay.
I want to but da.
Ye cannay, honest.
How no?
Just cause it’s no on. It isnay; I wish it was.
How no?
Just cause it isnay. If I’m still down there in two years’ time, less maybe: who knows. I’ll have to see how it works.
Da.
Look I’m gony keep in touch; that’s a promise, I mean that is a promise; okay?
…
It’s different now cause ye’re aulder, ye were only wee the last time.
…
Ye were Peter.
Aye da but just I think I could help, while ye got sorted out; I’m no meaning it’s to stay all the time.
Aye but Peter see the now, it’s best to finish yer school, then do one of them training things, then once ye’ve done that. Cause they’ll no be able to touch ye. Plus see I need to get settled, that’s what I’m thinking about, it’s no just you, I’ve got to get a place and all that, it’s easier with one person. That’s how Helen isnay coming down the now either, cause I’ve got to get settled in first. Then after that I’ll send for her. Maybe she’ll come and maybe she willnay. I think she will but ye dont know everything, no in this world. Know what I’m saying? Once ye’re out school and finished the training scheme: if ye still want to come down then. But I might no even be there cause I might be home. But if I am still there then I mean story ended: ye want to come and that’s that, great, even just for a couple of months or whatever, great, nay danger, it’ll be smashing, know what I mean. Like I say but ye’ve got to give it that year so things get squared up. And then I’ll talk it ower with yer mother; that’s a promise. A promise. I dont go back on my word Peter, especially with you. Here, shake!
While they shook hands Sammy said: For all ye know I’ll be back here in a couple of months. I’m no kidding. It just depends. One thing: that mate of mine’s gony get back onto ye after ye’ve gave him the photos. But dont tell him nothing, about what I’m saying the now, dont tell him nothing. As far as you know I’m still here. Alright? Eh?
Aye.
Plus if anybody else asks ye questions, then it’s the same thing. Nothing to naybody. Naybody at all. Okay? I’m talking about naybody son ye understand?
Aye.
But look christ if ye do let it slip dont worry, it’s no the end of the world; I’m just saying if ye can manage it then it’s better, cause it gives me that wee extra bit of breathing space, and that’s what it’s all about. But it’s no a big deal; it’s no a problem. Okay?
Aye da.
Good.
Da have ye got money?
Money? Of course I’ve got money.
Cause I’ve got some too. It’s in my bedroom, I could get it easy.
Peter son thanks but I’ve got enough, thanks.
Da I dont need it.
Sammy sighed.
Honest. Gony take it?
Naw.
How no?
Cau
se I dont need it.
Neither do I. I dont da. I mean I dont.
Much ye talking about?
Eighty quid.
Eighty quid? what d’ye win the pools!
Naw.
It’s a lot.
Da it’s no, it’s just money that’s come. I can get it and give ye it. Honest. It’s easy, it’s planked in my bedroom.
…
Okay?
Aye; aye okay Peter, it would be useful. Ye’re sure now?
Honest da. I’ve just got to hand in the photos with Keith then after that I’m going home for my supper.
Ye’re going out later on but int ye?
No till after seven.
Time’s it the now?
It’s just about five o’clock.
Right… Okay. Sammy moved to the door: We’ll go back into the living-room.
Peter followed.
Ye still here Keith! What time d’ye say it was?
Five o’clock da.
It’s after that, said Keith.
Fine, said Sammy, that’s fine. It’ll take me ten minutes to get my stuff the gether. We’ll phone a taxi from auld Boab’s next door. First but afore we do that: see the kitchen counter: there’s a loaf and a packet of cheese lying. Make it into sandwiches; there’s a tub of marge in the fridge. Okay?
…
This is what’s known as action stations so chop chop.
Sammy left them immediately; out and along to the bedroom. The jacket and trousers were still damp but so what, he would fold the trousers neat into the bag; he had decided to wear the jeans anyway. The trouble is he had been collecting stuff and he couldnay take everything. It didnay matter but just what he could. It was just fast, fast and controlled. One thing was a certainty if you were moving so were they. Nay danger. Nay danger. On the road again
Music. He shouted down the lobby: Stick on a cassette somebody!
They wouldnay know who the fuck Willie Nelson was. Christ he was hungry too he could do with a sandwich. Time for one in a minute.
Okay. Socks and stuff. And relax, fast but controlled fast but controlled. Right. Okay. Okay, the socks and stuff, underwear and tee-shirts, underwear and tee-shirts.
He was packing them in when there was a chap at the door. Aye? he said.
Da it’s me. Did ye know there was stuff in the washing machine?
Aye.
Right okay I wasnay sure.
Aye it’s nay bother Peter I’ve got enough here, I’ll get it all another time.
Will I take it out?
Eh if ye want I mean but it’ll all be damp so eh it doesnay matter.
