by B. J. Scott
Lazarus shook his head. “I’m sorry, but try as I might, I have no recollection of what happened that day.”
“Simon explained that. But hopefully, once you get to know us and have returned home to Fraser Castle, it will come back to you.”
“All I remember is that I woke up in the abbey with no memory of the past. Since I dinna know who I was and no one came forth to claim me, the monks named me Lazarus. I lived with them until I went to fight in the Holy Land. The name Fraser means nothing to me.”
“Your given name was James. Well, actually, Andrew James Fraser. The first-born son, you were named after our da, as is tradition. But Mam found it too confusing to have two men with the same name living under one roof so she started calling you James when you were about five summers old and it stuck.”
“In my mind, those years never took place and I fear they may forever remain lost to me.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “Lazarus is the only name I know. And at my age, I canna imagine being called anything else.”
“It matters not what we call you. We can use whatever name you like,” Connor said. “As long as we have you back, the past is irrelevant. It is the future we must think about. Once you’re well enough to travel, we will all go home to Beauly and—”
Lazarus raised his hand. “I never claimed that I believe your tale. And even if I did, I said nothing about going to Beauly with you.”
Connor tilted his head, his brow creased. “Fraser Castle is your home. Your birthright. We naturally assumed once we found you that you would want to come back with us and take your place as head of the clan if you so desire.”
“I reside here, in the Borderlands. Besides, did you not just tell me you are the laird of Clan Fraser, Connor?”
“Aye, but only because we believed you were dead and Alasdair dinna wish to be chief. Father was grooming you for the role before the attack on Berwick.”
“If that is so,” Lazarus said, “I have forgotten all he taught me. I see no reason to change something that works well for the clan.”
“Things are different now.”
“How so?” Lazarus asked. “I have no desire to move to the Highlands. And even if I did, I know nothing about running a clan. Not to mention I’m a wanted man. It wouldna be safe for you or your families to take me in. Father Marquis willna be the only person looking for me or the other member of Knights Templar who managed to escape from France. Not while there are rumors we absconded with a treasure of great value.”
“We will protect you.” Connor placed his hand on his hips, then puffed out his chest. “Clan Fraser has one of the largest, best-trained forces in the Highlands. No one would dare try to take you from our stronghold and live to tell about it.”
“I willna take that chance. I’m a hunted man and will be for the rest of my days. There is no telling what sort of ruthless swine will come looking for information about the so-called treasure, or try to take me back to France to collect the reward.”
“King Robert the Bruce is a friend of ours,” Connor replied. “He never supported the King of France’s right to persecute the Knights Templar, so we can grant you sanctuary in Scotland. All I need do is ask.”
Lazarus didn’t answer. There was so much information to take in. While the idea of finally belonging somewhere, having a past, and a clan of his own sounded appealing, he’d been a loner for so long, he was not certain he could adapt. But the most important reason for staying in Ayton was Sheena and Quinn.
“Look who is awake.” Ian Fraser approached. “It’s good to see you again. Not under these circumstances, mind you.”
Lazarus nodded at Ian and another man who accompanied him. “I remember you from the day we stopped Sheena from being violated. I never got a chance to thank you properly.”
“On the contrary, you were quite generous.” Ian glanced at Connor.
“Sometimes fate has a strange way of working,” Connor began, then reached into his sporran and pulled out a dirk. “I believe this belongs to you.” He handed it to Lazarus.
Lazarus stared at the weapon in his hand. It was the same dirk Simon found in his boot after the battle of Berwick, the only link to his past. The same one he’d used to pay Ian for his help. “Aye, this was once mine.”
“That is how we finally found out you dinna die in the massacre and were able to locate you. Ian sent it to us right away, giving us hope you were alive and a place to start looking.” Connor took another dirk from the sheath at his side and handed it to Lazarus.
After studying them, Lazarus peered up at Connor. “They are identical.”
“Aye.” The man who had accompanied Ian stepped forward. “I’m Bryce, your youngest brother, and I have one, too.” He held his dirk in the air and smiled. “Our father was a skilled craftsman and his work was in great demand. He made these. The ruby represents him, the emeralds each of sons.” Bryce sheathed his dirk.
“There are five emeralds,” Lazarus remarked.
“Aye. He had five sons. You are the oldest, then Alasdair, myself, Bryce, and finally Eachan.” Connor hung his head. He was killed by English soldiers in a raid on our village when he was eight. Along with our mother.”
Lazarus closed his fist around the dirk. “I wish I could remember, but it all remains a mystery to me.”
“When you gave Ian the dirk and he noticed the family resemblance, he concluded you were still alive,” Connor said. “But you were gone before he could question you further.”
“It wouldna have mattered. I had no idea who I was or where I belonged.”
“Give it time,” Simon said. “Now that you know that you have clan and brothers, I’m sure the rest will come back to you.”
“Dinna forget about Arya,” Bryce added.
“Who?” Lazarus raised a brow and tilted his head.
“We also have a sister. One our father never knew about and we only recently found. But that is a long story, one we can share when you’re feeling better.”
“Aye, he needs to rest.” Simon ushered Connor, Bryce, and Ian toward the door. “You can come back later, but I think Lazarus has had enough information and excitement for now.”
“I dinna wish to sleep. Please, I want to know if Sheena and Quinn are safe.”
Alasdair entered the room, followed by Sheena. “Why not ask them for yourself.”
Chapter 20
Sheena raced into the room, then dropped to her knees beside Lazarus, tears streaming down her cheeks. She grabbed his hand and brought it to her lips, repeatedly kissing his knuckles.
“Easy, lass. Now that you’re here and safe, there is no need to weep.” Lazarus caressed her cheek with his free hand.
She sniffled. “They are tears of joy. I’m just so glad to see you. Alasdair told us you were at death’s door when he left and I feared we would not get here in time.”
“There is no need to fash. As you can see, I’m very much alive.”
“Things appeared grave for a few days, but the power of prayer and Lazarus’s desire to live played a huge roll in his recovery,” Simon explained. “But contrary to what he claims, he is still very weak and needs a great deal of rest.”
“I’m the one who should be shedding tears of joy,” Lazarus said. “I’m thankful to the Lord and Alasdair for bringing you to me unharmed, Sheena.”
“Then I guess we all have reasons to be thankful,” Simon added.
Lazarus glanced up at his friend and nodded, then grasped Sheena by the shoulders and pulled her against his chest before kissing her soundly. He wished he could welcome her properly, scoop her up and carry her off to some secluded place, show her just how much he’d missed her and cared for her. But given his injuries and inability to stand, this was the best he could do. He didn’t care that people were watching. He was so damned happy and relieved to see
her, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his chest.
“Quinn, is he with you?” Lazarus broke their kiss and stared up at her.
“I’m here,” Quinn squealed, then ran toward Lazarus and threw his arms around his neck. “I’m glad you’re not dead. Alasdair saved me and I got to ride on his destrier.” He prattled on, jumping from one topic to another, like nothing bad had happened to him.
Lazarus frowned. After all the lad had been through, he found it odd he was not more upset. “I thank God you’re safe too.” Lazarus hugged the lad and didn’t want to let him go.
“You’re squeezing me too tight,” Quinn said, then began to wiggle.
“I’m sorry. It does my heart good to see you and I got a little carried away.” Lazarus held the lad at arm’s length and narrowed his gaze, studying him from head to toe. “Let me look at you. I hope you werena mistreated when being held by Father Marquis.”
“He never laid a hand to me, but I wanted to go home,” Quinn said, his eyes downcast and his bottom lip quivering. “Father Marquis kept me locked in a room all by myself. It had iron bars on the windows and I dinna like it very much. The worst part was when he wouldna let me see you or Sheena.”
Lazarus lifted the lad’s chin until their eyes met. “Were you afraid? It is all right if you were.”
Quinn nodded. Tears welled in his eyes, but he held them at bay. “I was afraid I might never see either of you again. But I tried to be brave like the knights in the tales you told me.”
Lazarus yanked him into his arms again. “I’m sure you were. But it is okay to cry if you feel the need.” He gently stroked the lad’s back. “Even knights cry sometimes.”
“I did cried a little when I heard you were being shipped to France,” Quinn admitted. I remembered what Father Marquis said when he took me from our hut. He told us you were a bad man and the king of France was going to execute you.” Quinn clung to Lazarus’s tunic, tears now dampening the fabric. Lazarus tightened his embrace.
“As you can see I’m na dead and my newfound brothers kept me from being shipped to France.” He released Quinn and smiled up at Alasdair. “I dinna know how I’ll ever repay you.”
Alasdair dismissed his comment with a wave of his hand. “You owe us nothing, brother. I only wish we’d found you sooner.”
Lazarus refocused his attention on Quinn. “I’m sorry you were taken. It is all my fault and I hope you can forgive me for not doing more to help you.”
Quinn sniffled then dragged his sleeve across his nose. “I know if you werena hurt, you would have rescued me from Father Marquis.”
Alasdair patted Quinn’s shoulder. “You must be hungry. Let’s give your sister and Lazarus a bit of time alone and I’ll see what I can find for you to eat.”
Quinn bobbed his head enthusiastically. “Aye, I’m starving. Can I go with Alasdair, Sheena?”
“Aye, and mind your manners,” Sheena said. “But come here first.”
Quinn moved toward his sister. “What do you want?”
“This.” She pulled Quinn into her embrace then kissed the top of his head. “I just needed to hold you for a minute to tell you how much I love you.”
After wiggling free of his sister’s hold, Quinn smiled up at her. “I love you, too, and am glad we are all together again. Just like a family. Can I go eat now?”
Sheena laughed and tousled his hair. “Of course you can.” She glanced at Alasdair. “Thank you.”
“I’m happy to help,” Alasdair replied. “I have sons of my own and several nephews that are Quinn’s age so I figured he might be hungry. I know I always was at his age.”
“You still are,” Bryce remarked as he entered the room, then laughed. “You havena seen my brother eat, Sheena.”
Alasdair glared at Bryce. “At least my mouth is used for eating, not yammering on for hours about nothing.”
Lazarus laughed at the banter between his brothers, then braced his ribs. He was thrilled to see Sheena and Quinn and was so eager to learn all he could about his family that he almost forgot about his injuries.
Brothers. The idea of having siblings was still hard to grasp. Before this all happened, he had no one. And now he had three brothers and a sister. It was going to take some time to get accustomed to having a family, but he was equal to the task.
“You really have sons and nephews, Alasdair?” Quinn asked. “Do you think I could meet them someday? I have never had anyone to play with. Sheena and I dinna stay in one place long enough for me to make friends.”
“That would be up to your sister and Lazarus. But something tells me you’ll get that chance,” Alasdair replied. “Now, let’s go find you something to eat.”
“Will you tell me about the bairns who live at Fraser Castle?” Quinn bounced with excitement.
“I will. But there are quite a few of them to account for.” He glanced at Lazarus. “We Frasers are quite prolific. I have three bairns, Bryce has five, and Connor six. Our sister, Arya, is working on her first. But she is very young and am sure she will have a brood of her own before she is finished.”
“I canna wait to meet them all. Are any of them my age?” Quinn asked.
Alasdair nodded. “Aye, Connor’s second son Keenan is eight and Bryce’s son Tristen just turned seven. I’m sure they would like to meet you too.” He winked at Lazarus, then faced Bryce. “Come, brother, I think these two might like to be alone.”
Bryce glanced between his two brothers and frowned. “What’s going on? Did I miss something?”
Alasdair laughed and shook his head while patting his younger brother on the back. “Just do as I say and if you’re a good lad, I will tell you about the birds and bees.”
“Very funny.” Bryce squatted and spoke to Quinn. “I’ll race you to the food. We want to get there before Alasdair does.” He sprinted out of the room with the lad on his heels.
Watching Quinn scamper off as if he didn’t have care in the world caused Lazarus’s heart to soar. “Bairns are so resilient. They can be in the depth of despair one minute and have forgotten all about it the next.”
“Aye. And I’m grateful to Alasdair and Bryce for keeping him busy so we can spend some time alone together.”
Simon cleared his throat, then moved toward the door. “I can take a hint, so I will also depart and give you a chance to chat. But mind you dinna tire him out. Lazarus is far from recovered and could take a turn for the worst without warning.”
“I promise,” Sheena replied.
Lazarus waited for Simon to leave before tugging Sheena closer. “I’m glad we are finally alone and so relieved you’re safe. But Louis said that you and he—”
“Shhh.” She pressed a kiss to his lips. “Nothing happened between me and Louis. I dinna know what he told you, but if he implied for one minute that we spent any time alone together, he lied.”
Lazarus brushed his knuckles across Sheena’s cheek. “He was a buffoon and pompous arse. I believe you when you say naught happened. But I willna lie. I’m relieved to hear you say he never touched you.”
“I wish he hadna laid hand to you either,” she whispered, then kissed him again.
Lazarus winced when their lips met.
“Och, I’m sorry if I hurt you.” Sheena lightly stroked his cheek.
“I’m sure it looks worse than it is. When I was delirious with fever, I overheard Alasdair say I’d been beaten so badly about the face. I barely looked human.” He glanced away, suddenly feeling ashamed to be seen by her. ”
She carefully cupped his face in her hands. “On the contrary, I canna take my eyes off of you. You may have bruises, a cut lip, and your eye is swollen shut, but you’re still the most handsome man I have ever known. Both inside and out.”
“I hope I am not interrupting anything important.” Alas
dair entered the room with a mug in one hand and an oatcake in the other. “I came to see if either of you might be hungry. There is also some roast hare and smoked salmon if you feel like eating.”
“You must be hungry,” Lazarus said to Sheena.
“Perhaps a little.”
“While you get something to eat, I’m going to rest for a while. I’m suddenly feeling spent.”
“But I dinna want to leave you. What if you need something?” She clutched his hand to her breast.
“I willna be going anywhere, so you will know exactly where to find me,” Lazarus said, smiling. “Once you’re finished eating it wouldna hurt for you to take a nap. You look exhausted.”
“Dinna fash about me. It is you that needs care,” Sheena replied. “There will be plenty of time for me to rest once you’re well.”
“I might na be a great cook, lass, but what I made will fill your belly. You go and get yourself a bite to eat and I’ll stay with Lazarus while you do. I’m sure Quinn would like for you to join him.”
“You’ll stay with him?” Sheena rose and faced Alasdair. “I am a wee bit hungry.”
“Cross my heart. Now go get some food.” Alasdair pointed at the door.
“I willna be long,” she said, then left.
Alasdair waited until Sheena was out of sight and earshot then faced Lazarus. “She is a fine lass and the two of you seem well-suited for each other.”
