by B. J. Scott
The fact he called her his love made turning him down even more difficult. “Even if I tell you that I have lain with a man in the past.” She stared at the floor, unable to look him in the eye.
“I dinna care about your past. Who you are now is all that matters. Unless . . .” Lazarus coughed, clearing his throat. “You dinna care for me the way I do you.”
“It has nothing to do with how I feel about you, Lazarus. I already confessed that I wish we could be together, always.”
“Then tell me why you refuse to even think about marriage?” Lazarus demanded. “Help me to understand.”
“It is about Quinn,” she stammered.
“What is it about your brother? That you feel you canna tell me?”
She squared her shoulders and met his gaze. “Please. I have said far too much already. Just know that if things were different, I would jump at the chance to be your wife.”
“You’re speaking in riddles. Tell me your reason. Am I na at least entitled to some sort of explanation?” he badgered.
She swallowed hard. “Do you remember the night we almost made love?”
“Of course I do,” he replied. “And the terrible way it ended.”
“Then you will also recall I was furious with you for not being upfront and honest with me. I accused you of leading me to believe you cared and we might have a future together, then I told you to leave.”
He nodded. “Aye, and I’ve explained why I couldna tell you the truth at the time. I did it to protect you and Quinn.”
“Well, I had no right to chastise you when I had secrets of my own. Like you, I’m compelled to protect Quinn at all cost.” She lowered gaze again. “Please dinna ask me any more questions.”
Lazarus frowned and lifted her chin. “You said you had a lover, but—”
“He was not my lover. Far from it,” Sheena snapped. “He was a vile, despicable beast.”
Lazarus remained quiet for a moment, and then he spoke. “I suspected you were abused in the past, the reason you guard your heart so carefully. If this man was as horrible as you say, why did you allow him to get so close?”
“He raped me,” she blurted. “My stepmother was with child and sent me to fetch some herbs to help settle her stomach. While I was doing her bidding, I was accosted by Roderick Morgan, the oldest son and future laird of his clan.”
The expression of shock on Lazarus’s face was quickly contorted by one of anger. “Are you saying the man you see in your nightmares forced himself on you?”
She nodded and began wringing her hands. “I begged him to let me go, but Roderick refused. After it was over, and he had stolen my virtue, he informed me that he wanted me to be his mistress.”
Lazarus hesitated again before he asked, “And what was your reply?”
“I told him I hated him, and would rather die than warm his bed. But he laughed in my face and threatened me. He warned if I dinna agree to be at his beck and call, he’d make certain that no one else would want me.” She touched the scar on her chin. “That is when he cut me, forever marking me as a whore and no longer worthy of any decent man’s love and respect.”
Lazarus closed his arms around her. “It saddens and angers me to think someone violated you against your will. But that is no reflection on the woman you were then or who you are today. I never for a moment believed what the men who accosted you and others claimed was true. What happened wasna your fault and you have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“If only it had ended there.” She paused and drew in a deep breath. “He vowed that if I ever left Kilbreck, he would find me and see that I was punished.”
“That was a long time ago. Have you seen him since?”
“Nay, but I never stay in one place for long and keep to myself,” she explained.
“If he hasna come looking for you by now, perhaps he has moved on and is no longer interested.”
“I pray for it every night, but I live in fear that he will someday find out—” She bit her lower lip and turned away again.
“What will he find out, Sheena?”
“Please dinna ask me anymore questions, Lazarus. Just know that while I care about you deeply, we can never marry.”
“Tell me, Sheena,” he demanded. “Please.” He softened his tone.
“He must never find out that Quinn is his son.” She covered her mouth as soon as the words left her lips.
“His son?” Lazarus’s expression darkened and he suddenly grew quiet.
“Say something,” she finally blurted, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
“That would mean Quinn is your son and not your brother as you claimed.”
Sheena sucked in a breath, then peered up at him. “I was but seventeen summers old when Roderick violated me. We werena wed and the thought of bringing a bastard into the world wasna something I could bear.”
“You should have told someone what he did. Perhaps he would have been made to do the right thing by you.”
“I was a commoner and he was the son of a powerful laird. If I told people I was violated, who do you think they would believe?” Sheena asked. Reliving the anguish and humiliation of that day was harder than she’d expected.
Lazarus scratched his head. “What of your family. Would they na stand behind you?”
“My own father believed I was a whore and disowned me. He accused me of laying with Roderick while his wife, my stepmother, labored, then died in childbirth.”
“I’m sorry,” Lazarus whispered.
Sheena raised her chin and squared her shoulders. “It matters not. There was no love lost between me and my da. With the passing of my stepmother and her unborn babe, it gave me the idea to tell people that Quinn was my brother. But I feared if Roderick ever learned the truth, he would take him away from me.” She began sobbing. “So I left before Quinn was born and we have been on the run ever since.”
“Come to me, Sheena,” Lazarus said softly and opened his arms to her. “I thought you were an amazing woman before you told me your secret. Now I’m convinced of it.”
She responded to his request, releasing a torrent of tears when he wrapped his arms around her. “I couldna bear it if I ever lost him. So Roderick must never know.”
“None of this is your fault and there is no need for Roderick Morgan to ever learn he is Quinn’s father. For seven years, you have convinced people the lad is your brother. I see no reason for anyone to ever know.” He kissed the top of her head, and she snuggled closer. “Marry me, Sheena, and together we will raise Quinn as our son.”
“I canna ask that of you,” she whispered. “Roderick said if I ever left town, he would hunt me down and find me.”
Lazarus tightened his embrace. “It is I who asked you to marry me, not the other way around. Heaven knows I’m not without problems of my own. I could very well be hunted for the rest of my life. But Connor convinced me that love is a precious gift and if you’re lucky enough to find it, you must grasp it and hold on for dear life. By cherishing every minute and facing adversity together, we can meet any challenge life has in store for us.”
She gazed into his eyes. “You honestly believe that?”
“I do.” He pressed his lips to her brow. “What do you say, Sheena, will you marry me?”
“Aye.” She looped her arms around his neck and kissed him, sealing the deal and their future.
Chapter 22
Quinn barreled into the room. “Did I hear right? The two of you’re going to get married?”
Sheena pulled out of Lazarus’s embrace. “How long have you been standing there listening? You know better than to skulk around eavesdropping on private conversations.”
Lazarus clasped her hand and gave it a squeeze. He understood her concern, but there was no proof that Quinn heard anything mor
e than the proposal. “Easy, lass. He is a good lad and am sure he wasna deliberately trying to listen in on our conversation,” Lazarus whispered so only she could hear.
Sheena tugged her hand free and narrowed her eyes, pinning the lad with an angry stare. “Speak up, Quinn. How much of what we discussed did you hear?”
Quinn lowered his gaze, his bottom lip quivering. “I’m sorry, Sheena. I wasna trying to listen in on what you were talking about. I only wanted to say good day to Brother Lazarus and I accidentally overheard you accept his proposal. I guess I should have knocked first.”
Lazarus motioned to Quinn with a flick of his hand. “Come closer, lad. There is something we need to discuss.”
With downcast eyes, Quinn slinked forward.
“I know you meant no harm, but this is very serious, lad,” Lazarus said sternly.
“Aye,” Quinn mumbled quietly. “I really am sorry. I dinna mean to do anything wrong.”
“There is no need for you to fash or to apologize. It is I who was in the wrong, not you,” Lazarus said, smiling.
Quinn peered up at him. “You? I dinna understand.”
“Then I’ll explain,” Lazarus replied. “You’re Sheena’s brother and her only living male relative, are you not?” He hoped by wording the question just right, he could reassure Sheena that her secret remained safe without asking the lad openly.
Quinn offered a hesitant nod. “Aye. You know I am.”
“Well, I really must apologize to you. As her only male relative, tradition dictates I asked your permission to marry Sheena before proposing to her.”
Quinn’s expression brightened, a grin tugging at his lips. “I suppose that’s true.”
“Then, what say you, lad? May I have your sister’s hand in marriage?”
“Aye. If she is agreeable, you can marry her,” Quinn replied enthusiastically.
Alasdair entered the room. “Is what the lad said true, Lazarus? There is going to be a wedding?”
Lazarus draped his arm around Sheena’s shoulder and nuzzled her ear. “It looks like our secret is out, leannan.”
“For a man who was at death’s door a couple of days ago, you move quickly when it comes to the ladies.” Alasdair threw back his head and laughed.
“What is all the palver about?” Bryce asked as he and Connor joined them.
“Brother Lazarus has asked my sister to marry him,” Quinn replied. “We are going to be a real family.”
Connor tousled Quinn’s hair, then winked at Lazarus. “That is very good news.”
Quinn puffed out his chest. “Aye, it is. Brother Lazarus asked me for permission to marry my sister, and I gave my blessing.”
Bryce stepped forward with and outstretched arm. “Congratulations. Over a year has passed since the last ceilidh we had at Fraser Castle. It was to celebrate Arya and Garrett’s union. I’d say it is about time we had another.”
Lazarus grasped his brother’s forearm and gave it a shake. “We have not had time to discuss where the wedding will take place. But if Sheena is agreeable, we will consider it.”
Quinn bounced up and down, making no effort to hide his excitement. “Can we go to Fraser Castle, Sheena? Alasdair told me all about it, and I would really like to see it and meet the other bairns.”
Sheena clutched a hand to her throat. “So much has happened in a short time and I must admit, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed.”
Bryce stepped forward. “If you have nothing holding you here in Berwick, you and Quinn would be most welcome at Fraser Castle. We have plenty of room, and I know my wife, Fallon, will be thrilled to have another sister. I’m also sure my son Tristen will get along well with Quinn.”
“Not to mention it will be great to have Lazarus home where he belongs,” Alasdair added.
“Can we?” Quinn pleaded.
Sheena released a sigh, then smiled. “It appears I am sorely outnumbered. We have no ties here, so if Lazarus wishes to go to Fraser Castle, I have no objection. As long as we are together, that is all that matters.”
Lazarus glanced around the room at the people gathered to share in his and Sheena’s joyous news. His heart soared. He’d been lost and alone for so long, but he now had brothers, a sister, cousins, nieces, nephews, a bride-to-be, and he’d soon have a son.
Given he was still a fugitive from the French crown, he continued to have some reservations about going to Beauly. But after what Sheena had told him about Quinn’s father, taking them somewhere well-guarded, a place where they’d be safe, was a logical decision. He was also curious to see the place where he was born and hoped perhaps being home would spark memories of his childhood.
“I am agreeable and look forward to meeting the rest of my clan,” Lazarus said. “With Sheena and Quinn by my side, I can think of no place I would rather be.”
“Then it is settled. As soon as Lazarus is strong enough to travel, we will head for Beauly,” Connor announced. “I’ll send a missive to Cailin and tell her to start preparations for your homecoming.”
“The stronghold is enormous and very impressive,” Sheena said to Alasdair as she stared up a Fraser Castle. “I never dreamed it would be this grand.” She peered over at the covered cart in which Lazarus rested. “Wait until he see it.”
The door to the keep opened and a stunning woman with titan hair appeared. “Welcome home,” she said, then descended the stairs followed at least a dozen bairns.
Connor dismounted, then hauled the woman into his embrace and kissed her soundly. “I’ve missed you, Cailin,” he rumbled in her ear, but loud enough for all to hear.
“And I you, husband.” She kissed Connor’s cheek, then wiggled out of his embrace.
“Welcome home, Father.” A strapping lad of about ten or eleven summers approached with his arm outstretched. “I hope your journey was a good one.”
“It was a very good trip, Andrew.” Connor grasped the lad’s wrist, then tugged his son into his arms. He squeezed the lad tightly, then planted a kiss on the top of his head. “You may almost be a man, but you will never be too old to give your da a hug and a kiss.” He released his son, then took a step back. “Everything appears to be in order. You did a fine job of taking care of your mother and siblings in my absence.”
Quinn jumped down from Alasdair’s destrier, then peered up at Sheena, beaming with excitement. “There are so many of them. I willna know who to greet or play with first.”
Two lads that Sheena guessed were about Quinn’s age approached.
“I’m Tristen and this is my cousin Keenan. Welcome to Fraser Castle,” the one lad said, smiling. “How old are you?”
“Almost eight.” Quinn puffed out his chest.
“Me too,” Tristen said. “Keenan is already eight, but he’s only older than me by a few months.”
Quinn stared at the two lads for a moment, then smiled. “Alasdair told me all about you and said we were the same age.”
“Do you want to go and see the rest of the castle?” Tristen asked.
“Can I, Sheena?” He looked up at his sister and nibbled on his bottom lip.
Sheena nodded. “If it is all right with Connor and Bryce, I see no harm in it. But mind you dinna get into any mischief and are na gone too long.”
“Great. Let’s go,” Tristen squealed, then raced off with Quinn and Keenan on his heels.
“Let me help you down.” Alasdair wrapped his hands around Sheena’s waist, then lifted her from the saddle. When her legs buckled, he slid his arm around her waist for support. “Easy, it has been a long ride and you must be weary.”
“I’m fine. It is Lazarus I’m concerned about.” She steadied herself, then moved toward the covered cart and peaked inside.
“He fell asleep a few miles back.” Bryce reached into the cart and nudged Lazarus’s s
houlder. “You’re home, brother. Time to wake up and meet your family.”
Cailin threw her arms around Sheena and hugged her tightly. “I am so happy you’re both here.” She looked into the cart and gasped. “You and Connor could be twins. It will be hard telling you apart.”
Connor came up from behind her and nuzzled the back of neck. “Just make sure you dinna make any mistakes and crawl between the wrong sheets,” he growled possessively in her ear.
Lazarus laughed. “I dinna think you will need to worry about that, Connor. Na only am I older, but I have enough scars to distinguish us from each other.” He touched his face.
Connor motioned for Alasdair to join them. “Let’s get Lazarus out of this darn thing and into the castle. I’m sure he will welcome a hot meal and a soft bed.”
“Both are waiting,” Cailin interjected, then placed her hand on Sheena’s shoulder. “I bet you would fancy a nice hot bath. I’ll have a tub sent to your chamber once Lazarus is settled. After which, you might like to take a nap before the evening meal.”
Sheena nodded. She had never been treated with such courtesy, nor had ever bathed in a proper tub. Not even when she was a bairn still living with her parents. A dip in the stream had to suffice. “That would be wonderful. I would love to rinse off the grime from the journey and I am a bit weary.” She peered in the direction that Quinn ran off to.
“Dinna fash about your brother.” Cailin patted Sheena’s arm. “The lads have become fast friends already and he will be just fine.”
Connor and Alasdair helped Lazarus out of the cart, one standing on either side of him, supporting the weight of his body so he did not have to stand on his injured leg.
