by Ranae Rose
He was lying just as he had been when she’d drifted off: on his back, with one side of his body more or less pinned to the mattress by her weight.
“Not much,” he said.
“How long have you been awake?”
“A little while.”
“Do you need to, um, get up?”
Fully conscious now, she was aware of more than just his presence. A sheet covered him almost to his chest, but did little to hide his erection.
“Never mind that,” he said. “You can keep on resting.”
“That’s a lot to ignore, Grey. Besides, I’m up.” She pushed herself up into a sitting position, leaning back against the wall so that she was no longer anchoring him down. Had he been lying there awake and unmoving just so he wouldn’t disturb her?
The thought was ridiculously sweet, although lying there in just his underwear, the sheet tossed aside now, with his hard muscles – hard everything – on display, he looked anything but.
“Do you feel okay?” she asked, wondering if he’d lain awake all night, uncomfortable but unwilling to disrupt her sleep.
“I’m fine. I just… I’ve really gotta take a piss.” He stood, nearly tripped over the sheet and hurried out of the room.
She felt bad for laughing, but she couldn’t help it.
He was back in a minute, asking her if she wanted him to make breakfast.
She was about to answer when something dawned on her. “Don’t you have work today?”
“I called in and took some vacation time.”
“Grey! You didn’t have to do that.”
“You did it for me last week. Don’t worry about it.”
She did worry though – worried that she was stretching the limits of his generosity, accepting kindness she had no right to.
“Sasha called,” he said five minutes later as he stood at the stove, scrambling eggs, “to check up on you.”
“When?”
“When you were in the bathroom a minute ago. She called me – I guess she was afraid she might wake you up.”
“I wonder how she knew you’d be here.”
Grey looked at her over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows. “That woman is so nosy she can sense a sexual encounter a mile away. I’m pretty sure she can look into your eyes and tell the last time you’ve done it, and who it was with. Besides, she’s known since the wreck that I spent the night at your place.”
Kerry snorted into her coffee and sent a few drops flying onto the tabletop. Hastily, she cleaned them up with a napkin.
“Besides, do you think there’s any way she would’ve left you here alone? If I wasn’t here, she would be.”
“She’s a good friend,” Kerry said. “Better than I deserve.”
The memory hit her like a freight train: her trying and failing to pull Sasha through a window, out of a burning building. Her laughter over Grey’s comments died inside her.
“Why do you think you don’t deserve her?” He pulled the skillet off the stove and scraped its contents onto two plates.
“You know what happened at Wisteria: I let her down, and she almost died.”
“It was because of you that Ernesto and Phil knew what was going on. They never would’ve been able to unlock the door and get her out if it hadn’t been for you.”
“I never thought of it that way.”
“Seriously? That’s how everyone else thinks about it. You saved her life, no question about it.”
Kerry’s heart skipped a beat. Was it true? It made sense, but she still wasn’t the one who’d gone into a burning building and carried Sasha out. Phil and Ernesto had been the ones to do that.
“I just wish I could be as good to the people in my life as they’ve been to me. I feel like I owe everyone.”
“Maybe your perceptions are a little off because for the first 24 years of your life, everyone you knew treated you like shit.”
She recoiled, but didn’t quite know what to say. She took a long sip of her coffee as she considered it. “I wasn’t always with Brad. I wasn’t always getting beat up or walked all over.”
“Yeah, well, your parents don’t exactly sound like gems.”
“Maybe not, but they certainly could’ve been worse.”
He set her breakfast down on the table in front of her. “People like you. They like having you around. That’s why they do nice things for you. It’s called having friends. Nobody thinks you owe them anything.”
He sat down across from her with his own food and the cup of coffee she’d poured him.
“I had friends as a kid, but not after I got married,” Kerry said. “Brad was so possessive and controlling… He didn’t want me spending time with other people, even women.”
“My dad was like that with my mom. I remember him getting mad because she’d taken me to the park and one of her friends had shown up with her kid. She stayed later than she’d planned, talking, and when he found out he flipped his lid and went into asshole mode.”
His expression had clouded; it was obvious the memory upset him. And for good reason. It struck her then just how much she’d shared with him – about her shitty marriage to Brad, even about her pregnancy. It was hard to believe she’d finally spoken those things out loud to another person.
“I hope it’s okay that I’ve been telling you all these things,” she said. “I’m sure you don’t enjoy hearing about my time with Brad, but I just – I want you to know. That way, I won’t have to worry about what you’ll think of me if you find out.”
His fork clanked against his plate as he lowered it. When his eyes met hers, they looked as black as the coffee. “Tell me whatever you want. There’s nothing you can say that’s going to stop me from being interested in you.”
To her ears, his words almost sounded like a challenge, though she knew he hadn’t meant them that way. A hundred sour memories whirled through her mind, and the idea of him knowing the details of what Brad had done to her – what she’d put up with – filled her with an uneasy sense of shame.
Still, she’d told him so much already – so much more than she’d ever imagined being able to share with anyone. And he hadn’t even flinched. Sitting across from him enjoying breakfast, even with the truth about her past exposed, felt unreal in the best way possible.
* * * * *
“I don’t know what I’m going to say to Faye,” Kerry said, staring down at her phone. “I clean for a living – I can’t work with just one hand, and it’ll be a couple of weeks before my cuts heal.”
Grey’s gaze was drawn to the bandages swathing her left hand. He’d helped her change them that morning, after breakfast. The sight of her delicate palm and fingers crisscrossed with red lacerations and black stitches had almost had him puking his eggs and coffee back up. It could’ve been a lot worse – the delicate tendons in her hand had been spared – but it was pretty bad.
Normally, he wasn’t squeamish, but her wounds had been hard to look at simply because they were hers.
“Not your fault,” he said. “Besides, she had to make do without Alicia and Sasha during the height of tourist season. She’ll just have to be okay without you for a little while.”
“She’s so overworked preparing for the fall festival though, and I was supposed to help.” Kerry frowned.
“You know,” she said as she scrolled through her list of contacts, “there are some things I could still do, like help her finish up the decorations. I could do that now; I’d just be slow.”
“Don’t overtax yourself,” he said, but didn’t really argue. She was right about her hand – it would take weeks to heal. And if she didn’t go to work at all, she’d just be sitting in her house all day. Alone.
Grey only had so much vacation time and couldn’t be there to protect her for more than a few days. Hopefully, her ex-husband would be apprehended by the police by then, but if he wasn’t…
She’d be safer at Wisteria making Halloween decorations than she would be on her own.
He had his
third cup of coffee as she called her boss and tried to talk her way into being put on partial duty. When she got off the phone, she looked happier than when she’d dialed.
“I’m still going to help Faye out with the decorations,” she said, “starting Monday. And she’s going to delegate some of her desk work to me – answering phones and stuff – so she can focus on preparing for the festival. So I won’t be totally useless after all.”
“Cool.”
“Yeah. Hey, Grey…” Her cheeks turned pink as she met his eyes.
“What?”
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. Could you do me a favor?”
“Sure. Anything.”
“I have this gun. A Glock 17. You’re trained to use that exact gun, for work, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I’ve only taken mine to the range a couple times, and it’s been a while. I’m afraid to use it – afraid I’d be too inaccurate. Would you go to the range with me and teach me how to shoot it?”
“I’d be glad to. But shouldn’t we wait? The recoil would hurt your hand.”
She chewed her lower lip. “Probably. But I think I could handle it – it’s not my dominant hand that’s hurt. I really want to learn.”
Now that she’d put the idea in his head, he wanted her to learn too. But he didn’t want her to worsen her injuries. It was too soon. “How about I take you in a few days, before I have to go back to work?”
“You took more than just a day off?”
“I took almost a week.”
Her face turned a little pinker. “Okay. Thank you.”
“We can still do something today if you want.”
“What did you have in mind?”
He shrugged. “We could go to the beach, if you feel up to it. I know you can’t swim with all those bandages on, but we could hang out. Maybe get dinner afterward.”
“Do you really think we should? Brad’s still out there.”
“He’s out there somewhere, but I doubt he’s here, or at the beach. You’ll have me and I’ll bring my Glock. It’ll be good to get some fresh air. You can’t be a prisoner in your own home.”
After she agreed, he went outside to test drive his car. He’d decided to take it for a short, slow drive, to make sure there was nothing wrong with the brakes. He’d figured it’d put Kerry at ease, and that it was better to be safe than sorry.
It took him less than five minutes, and when he got back she was waiting with a bag full of towels, sunblock and bottled water. He could see her dark blue swimsuit strap sticking out above the collar of her t-shirt.
He didn’t have any swimwear with him, but a pair of regular shorts would be fine. He didn’t plan to really get in the water anyway.
He didn’t say anything to Kerry about his lack of swimwear. If she wanted to wear her bathing suit, he definitely wasn’t going to try to change her mind.
CHAPTER 21
Now that they were really into October, it wasn’t as hot at the beach as it had been last time. It was still sunny and warm, but the mild coolness of the water seemed to have worked its way into the air. This was fall, here: summer, with less of an edge. Storms were common, but right now, everything was perfect.
Grey tipped his head toward the buildings beyond the sand. “There’s an ice cream place back there. It’ll be closed soon, now that tourist season is over. Wanna get some?”
Kerry glanced in the direction he was looking. The buildings beyond the fishing pier and the nearby boardwalk were nearly abandoned; only a few people were visiting them on an autumn weekday afternoon.
It wasn’t exactly blazing out, but the thought of ice cream was still appealing. Perhaps more appealing than usual, since it wouldn’t melt immediately. Besides, after the way tourism had tanked that summer due to manhunts for the Levinson brothers, local businesses could use all the traffic they could get. That was what she told herself, anyway, as she pushed herself up from her towel.
She pulled a pair of jean shorts on over her swimsuit, and she and Grey left their towels on the sand.
There was a beachwear place next to the ice cream stand. A bright yellow sale sign in its window caught Kerry’s eye – there was an end of summer clearance going on. Typical, for this time of year. She looked down at her navy blue tankini and frowned.
She only had one swimsuit, and she’d been scraping by with it all summer. It wasn’t exactly new anymore. Now would be a good time to buy a second one, while they were cheap.
“I’m going to have a look in here,” she told Grey. “I could use a new swimsuit.”
He followed her inside, where it was just them and the cashier. There were racks of printed, oversized beach towels marked down to ten dollars, and an entire wall of women’s swimwear.
Most of it wasn’t anything she’d wear. The triangle bikinis with little metallic-colored coins sewed around the edges of the cups, for instance – what was the point of those? It was no wonder they were left on clearance.
After browsing for a minute or two, it seemed like all the good stuff might’ve been picked over already.
“What about this?” Grey appeared at her side, something small and pink dangling from a hanger in his hand.
“That?”
Once she got past her initial shock at the tininess and neon-ness of it all, she saw that it was a halter-style bikini.
“It’s not exactly what I had in mind. It’s so … bright.” And miniscule.
He turned toward a rack, browsed for a second and then grabbed another one to hold up and compare. “They have it in blue, too.”
It was a deep turquoise blue, like the ocean on a day when the sun was shining and the waters were calm. A beautiful color, but…
She balked at the idea of wearing something like that. It was bright. It was small. It was pretty. It was a bikini.
It was the sort of thing that was made to be noticed, and that was exactly what she’d always purposely avoided.
“This color would look great on you. Never mind the pink one – I just picked it up because I saw it was size small.”
Grey’s words gave her a little thrill, and she couldn’t help giving the swimsuit a second look. Maybe it wasn’t that tiny. It wasn’t like it was a string bikini. It seemed sturdy enough, but she’d never actually worn a bikini. Ever.
On the rare occasions she and Brad had ever gone swimming, he’d enjoyed ogling other women wearing tiny swimsuits, but her wearing one would’ve been guaranteed to lead to a fight. It would’ve been just like him to accuse her of showing off, or flirting with other men… A bikini would’ve been a match to the ever-present tinder that was his pride.
The thought filled her with disgust. God, he’d controlled her life for so long. Six years, while they’d been married, and even now… She’d spent the past three years making decisions – even choosing her clothing – based on her fear of him.
She was tired of it – tired of always trying so hard not to be noticed. And so, without giving herself a chance to second guess the decision, she lifted the bikini from Grey’s hand. “I’ll take it.”
She went to the register and paid. It was only a quarter of its original price. At least, if it turned out she didn’t like it, she hadn’t spent much.
When she walked out of the shop with Grey, she felt oddly empowered.
“That suit’s gonna look great on you,” Grey said as they approached the ice cream booth. “I can’t wait to see you in it.”
Her face – her entire body – grew a little hotter than the sun accounted for. She and Grey hadn’t had sex since before the nightmare that’d begun with her car wreck. She was as aware of that fact as she was of the sun overhead and the waves crashing on the beach just behind them. Aware and eager for it to change.
It’d only been 24 hours since they’d arrived back in Riley County. A couple of days since they’d last been together. Right now though, that felt like an eternity.
The more time she spent with Grey, the more of h
im she wanted – craved. That was the polar opposite of the twisted relationship she’d had with Brad. She knew she shouldn’t compare Grey to him – that they weren’t even in the same class of human beings – but she couldn’t help it.
Grey was the only man she’d ever been with, besides Brad. And the difference was astounding. It made her wish she’d gotten things right the first time. Most of all, it made her so, so glad that she’d removed herself from the hell that had been her life back in Kentucky.
Her friends in Riley County – Grey especially – had shown her that people weren’t what she’d thought they were. Life wasn’t what she’d thought it was. The people she was surrounded by shone the brightest – loved the hardest – when times were tough. She never would’ve expected that, and it made her feel that no matter how the nightmare with Brad ended, everything had all been worth it to experience this.
* * * * *
Grey didn’t know what to do when Kerry came onto him that evening, after they got back from the beach. At first, he figured she wanted to try on her new swimsuit for innocent purposes, since she hadn’t tried it on at the store.
When she walked out of her bedroom and into the living room wearing the blue bikini, she took his breath away. First and foremost because she was so beautiful, but also because it was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen her wear. Normally, her clothing was demure…
But God, if anyone had a body made for a bikini, she did.
He sat frozen on the couch and didn’t move, afraid any motion would draw attention to the insta-boner he’d sprung as soon as he’d laid eyes on her.
“You look great,” he said, trying to sound admiring, but not like he was about to burst out of his pants.
“Thanks.” Her smile melted away another layer of his self-control, threatening to expose him for what he was: a horny, shameless bastard.
He dragged his gaze away from her cleavage and stared at her bandaged hand, then the dressing at her hairline. Those things didn’t detract from her hotness, but they did make him feel guilty. Just when he was working himself up into a good self-shaming lather, she came nearer and nearer, until she was standing so close that he could practically feel her body heat.
