by Kenya Wright
“The water feels good,” she said.
I walked in, wetting the bottom of my pants. “It does, even though I don’t want to be in here.”
“You’re going to feel better later. The salt in the ocean sucks away negative energy too.”
I captured Yaz’s arm and pulled her to me. “You’re crazy.”
“I am.” She looked up at me as I held her in my arms. “And I love the hell out of you, Hawk.”
For the second time that night, I couldn’t find my words. Anxiety battled with satisfaction. I knew damn well she wasn’t saying that she was in love with me, but more of a brotherly-sisterly love. However, that didn’t help my cock go down at all. I had no idea if she could feel the erection as it pressed against her hip.
“Do you love me, Hawk?” She molded her body against me.
Don’t ask me that when you’re half-naked. I might say anything.
Black water pooled around our feet. The sound of the sea throbbed. But while the waves were loud, my heart was noisier as it slammed into my chest.
“You’re drunk.” I kept her in my arms and refused to let her down. “I’m not skinny-dipping tonight. It feels like it will rain again, and you know I’ve been afraid of skinny-dipping ever since that jelly fish stung me that one time.”
“Oh yeah.” She frowned. Thankfully, she didn’t struggle and just remained in my arms. “Maybe, we can skinny-dip during the day?”
“In front of everyone? No.”
“Yeah, that won’t work.”
“How about we just keep it to my painting you?”
“Sounds good.” She yawned and nodded her head. “That’s cathartic.”
“O-kay.”
“Yeah. This is a bad idea.” She leaned her head against my chest. “The world is spinning around and around and around, and my stomach is racing after it.”
“I’m taking you home.”
“Thank you.” She tried to climb out of my hold.
“No, let me carry you.”
“I’m fin—”
I already had her in my arms before she could finish the statement. It was hard not to drool over her sexy body and her very revealing bra and panties. An exasperated breath left her lips as I took her back, grabbing her dress from the ground and leaving her bottle there for now.
“Damn it,” she muttered under her breath.
“What’s wrong?”
She covered herself with her dress as I held her. “I’m supposed to be carrying you, not you carrying me.”
I smiled. “You can’t carry me.”
“I meant metaphorically.”
I stopped in the sand and looked down at her. “Yaz, you are carrying me. Ever since I saw you out here, burning up crap, you’ve had my mind on you and in your crazy world. You’ve given me a much-needed vacation from reality.”
“But—”
“Now what?” I started walked again.
“I don’t know if that is completely a compliment. It sounds like you’re saying I’m mental.”
“No, trust me. I know crazy and you’re not it.” Lisa’s face flashed in my head. I pushed that image out of my mind. The more I was around Yaz, the easier it was getting to push away my dark past and all the guilt that haunted me. “Yaz, you’re saving me.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
We got to her back door and I let her down. “In fact, you’ve already saved me.”
“How? I want to do whatever I did again and again.”
“Just keep being you.” I held her chin and slipped my thumb against her lips. A soft moan left them. Fuck. She was so drunk and out of it, there would’ve been no problem convincing her to come back to my place and lay in my bed. Had I been Brett, I would’ve done that, but I would never take advantage of her. She meant too much to me.
“You saved me.” I landed a small peck on her lips, dying to give her more. “You make me want to get out of bed in the morning. That’s a big thing when you’re walking in the kind of darkness I’m moving in.” I placed another kiss on her mouth. “You make me want to pick up my paint brush. You make me want to...”
“What?” She widened her eyes.
I tossed her a wicked grin. “You make me want to forget about my sadness and spend the whole day making love to you.”
She bit her bottom lip.
My cock jerked.
Get out of here, man.
I let her go. “You should get some sleep. Do you want me to walk you to your room?”
“No. I’m up in the attic anyway. It’s been renovated.”
“But still, any guests could be walking around. Something could happen—”
“I’ll be fine.” She put on her dress. I tried not to watch.
“I should make sure you get upstairs.”
The worst part about Lisa and her murders were my mistrust for the world. I no longer took safety for granted and considered every possible danger. I really didn’t want Yaz walking through that big property by herself. Someone could’ve tried to kidnap and rape her. Nothing could happen to Yaz. If it did, it would be the last bit of my insanity being thrown out the window.
“I’m walking you up.”
“I’m a big girl. Don’t worry about me.”
“And I’m a big boy. Don’t worry about me.”
She frowned. “I’m so sorry, Hawk.”
I groaned.
“Okay. Fine. I will not show emotion.” She rose on her tippy toes and hugged me. “I love you, Hawk. I really do. Come to me. Call me. Anytime. It doesn’t matter. Promise?”
“I will.”
“You won’t.”
“But it sounds so better if I agree.” I inhaled the sweet scent of her hair. “And I would say anything to keep you against me like this.”
She shoved me away. “You’re such a pervert.”
I saluted her again. “Horny BFF to the rescue.”
She pouted. “You’re not taking me seriously.”
“I am. Do you remember the superhero song that you made for us?”
“I thought I gave you twenty dollars to never bring that up again.”
I chuckled and kissed her forehead. “Go to sleep, Yaz. I want to paint you as soon as you wake up.”
“You’re not tired of me yet?”
“No. You’re the only person to make me laugh this much in the past five years. I’m holding you close to me.”
She blinked, but didn’t say anything as she turned around, opened the door, and walked away.
I waited several minutes, straining to hear a scream in the night or some indication that she was in danger. I didn’t know how long I stood out there, but eventually my phone beeped, and I checked it.
Yaz: I made it. I’m safe.
Me: Good.
I walked off, grabbed the almost finished bottle of rum in the sand, and headed home. My phone beeped again. I pulled it out and looked.
Yaz: Goodnight.
Me: Goodnight.
Yaz: I love you.
Groaning, I typed my response.
Me: Go to sleep, Cherry Bomb.
Yaz: ☹ You don’t love me?
She’s killing me.
Groaning, I typed what I should’ve told her, when we were together.
Me: I love you. Get some rest.
In all fairness, I should have been more uneasy about any words of affection. No other women could’ve gotten away with saying those three words to me. Had another tried, it would’ve been a very different text response. But Yaz was different. Yaz was home and breezy days. Yaz was fresh baked cookies and my father’s laughter after he’d caught us in one of our stunts. Yaz was every beautiful memory before Lisa, and because of that, she could say and do whatever the hell she wanted.
We just should be careful. I don’t want to hurt her. Right now, she’s the best thing in my life.
In fact, I was kind of happy she didn’t sleep with me after I’d propositioned her. What we had was too good to mess it up with fuckin
g. Somehow, I had to ignore my attraction for her and keep it the way it was now—beautiful, loving, and free.
I paused outside of the door and really thought about that.
Fuck that. I’m going to fuck her. Just once. And then I’ll focus on keeping it at just friends.
Chapter 9
Yasmine
The next morning, I woke up to my phone ringing. Things fell off my end table as I grabbed it. My head pounded in pain.
I grabbed the phone and answered, “Hello?”
“You can’t sleep the entire day away.” Hawk’s sexy voice flowed over the phone. “You’ll be up all night.”
“I’m not sleeping all...” Yawning, I pulled away the curtain. The sky was darkening as the sun set. “Wait a minute. How long was I out?”
“The whole day. I came by to check on you twice. Both times Cindy said you were still out and that your snoring had risen through the whole place this morning.”
I put my head under the covers. “I don’t snore.”
“Sure, you don’t. Are you hungry?”
My stomach growled. My tongue had transformed into sandpaper while I’d slept. I visualized drinking down a bathtub full of water and still not being quenched.
“Yaz?”
“Yes. I’m hungry.” I yawned again, took off the blanket, and dragged myself out of bed.
“Would you like me to take you somewhere or do you want me to bring you some food?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does.”
I looked around the room and gawked at my walls, taking in my new decorations. Sometime through the night, I’d taped torn-out magazine pages to my walls. Glossy images of fashionable couples greeted my eyes.
Alrighty then.
I found my slippers in an empty bag of chips by my bed.
I don’t even want to know why I put those there.
“If you’re too sick,” Hawk said, “then I don’t want to make you come out.”
“No. Apparently, sleeping over ten hours helps get rid of a hangover. I feel brand new, but just a little...disoriented.” I tripped over pages and pages of my scribbled words and picked one up, reading the lines.
I don't want a fucking mermaid! I want my money, motherfucker.
I’d written those two sentences over and over, not knowing what the hell I’d been thinking when I wrote them.
Hawk disturbed my thoughts. “How long do you think it will take you to get ready?”
“Twenty minutes at the most.” I picked up another page and the same sentences were on it.
I don't want a fucking mermaid! I want my money, motherfucker.
“Sounds good,” Hawk said. “I’ll pick you up in twenty-five minutes.”
“Thanks.”
I hung up and pushed the mermaid sentences out of my mind. Foggy bits of my memory started coming back to me, and I was slowly remembering how much of a mess I’d been with him last night.
Why the hell did I go over there? He must think I’m crazy.
I hurried, taking care of the essentials in the shower, drying off like I was in a race, rummaging through my closet, and putting on my clothes. After so much drinking, jeans and a comfortable shirt was the only option.
By the time I’d finished, the sun had fully set, and my nerves had flared on edge. I couldn’t point to why I was so nervous. He’d been sweet last night. With each minute, I was remembering more. Part of me was embarrassed to see him again. I’d torn off my dress and had him chasing me around the beach at night.
I’m lucky he didn’t curse my ass out.
I waited outside for a few minutes. My favorite couple walked by—the blonde woman and the dark-haired man. Today, they strolled hand-in-hand. He whispered in her ear and she giggled. When they traveled a few feet beyond me, the dark-haired guy glanced over his shoulder and winked at me.
Really?
I looked forward, and then a shiny red car pulled up in front of me. The top was off. Jazz flowed in a slow groove out of its speakers. The design was impeccable. Had I been a gear head, I would’ve recognized the car. Either way, I was sure it cost a house or two.
“Nice wheels.” I walked over to the door as he jumped out.
“No.”
I paused. “No?”
He rushed in front of me and opened the door. “There you go, milady.”
“Thank you. You’re a true gentleman.”
“For now.” He waited for me to get in before closing the door. “If you take your clothes off again like you did last night, I might not be a gentleman anymore.”
My whole face flushed.
He walked around the car, probably enjoying my silent embarrassment.
Then, he imitated me as he put on his sunglasses. “What it do, motherfucker?”
I strapped in and lowered onto his leather seats, more hiding my embarrassment than getting comfortable. “Don’t remind me.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget that night.”
I shook my head as we zipped off, going well beyond the speed limit. It was a regular Monday afternoon during low tourist season. The Key’s high season was December through April. Although Cindy’s place was packed, everyone else had many free rooms. At this time of the evening, everybody was out on the beach with a lover near a bonfire, or in their homes enjoying dinner with family. The streets were empty besides us blasting by.
The wind whipped through my dreadlocks and felt good on my skin. Hawk’s jazz filled the air. The saxophone gave us a perfect soundtrack to the darkening scenery speeding by us.
We made it to the restaurant in no time and ended up being the only customers there. I read the sign and looked at him. “Naked?”
That word was inside the silhouette of a curvy woman.
“I hope you like the place. Last night inspired it.” He parked and frowned as I jumped out on my own.
“I wanted to open the door for you,” he said.
“Sorry.”
Naked was housed in a stately Victorian home complete with a balcony overlooking Duval Street.
“It looks interesting,” I said.” What do they serve here?”
“High-end southern cuisine.” He pocketed his keys and came over to me. “They have the best cornbread on the east coast.”
“Sounds delicious.”
“They also have a signature softshell crab dish.”
“I’m going to grab five of those. I’m starving.” I grabbed his hand and got ready to walk off. He didn’t move. Instead, he stared at our hands.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” I let go. “I think I did that out of habit.”
“No, it’s fine.” He still hadn’t moved. “You miss that?”
“Holding hands? Maybe. But really, it’s just something I do with someone I care about. Sometimes Cindy and I hold hands, especially if I haven’t seen her in a while.”
“Of course.” He extended his hand to me. “Here.”
“No. Now, it’s all weird.” I grinned and walked off. “Come on. I’m so hungry. And by the way, dinner is on me. We should go back and forth, if we continue to eat together.”
“You’re not paying.”
I opened the door for us and he groaned as I bowed. “After you, kind sir.”
“You’re going to be the guy this evening?”
“We’re friends so the whole gender equality thing has set in. If we were dating, then it would be different.”
“Don’t open a door for me anymore.” He walked through. “And you’re not paying for dinner.”
I stuck my tongue at his back.
The hostess greeted us and then led us through the beautiful restaurant. Vibrant artwork by local artists decorated the walls. We sat down at the table closest to the water. There was no need to read a menu. The waitress had explained that the chef enjoyed surprising his guests. She asked about allergies and any foods we loved and hated. After she left, only the soothing sound of the ocean waves moved around us.
Luckily, there wasn’t a live band
. I didn’t think my head could take any loud noise this evening, and it would be nice to eat and have a conversation with Hawk. While his ex and all that stuff would be off topic, I still wanted to know more about the man he’d become.
I took a sip of my water, not planning to order any wine this evening. “Did you paint today?”
“Yes.”
“What did you paint?”
“Your lips. Over and over.”
My skin warmed.
“You should let me show you how beautiful I think your mouth is.”
My heartbeats increased. I drank more water.
A smile spread across his face. “I was also a fan of those pink panties.”
“You’re not going to let me live last night down?”
“No.”
“That sucks.”
“You messed my painting up. I didn’t do anything but lay in bed after that.”
I wanted to know what he was doing in bed. Was it more than sleeping? I damn sure pictured the possibilities and then shoved them away.
Hawk reached across the table and placed his hand over mine. “The skinny-dipping left me wanting more.”
The waitress came by and set our first dishes in front of us. A bowl full of something delicious sat on each crystal plate, but food no longer had my attention. Hawk licked his lips and all I wanted to do was taste his tongue again.
The waitress said, “We have lobster tartare topped with mango shrimp.”
Hawk kept his heated gaze on me. “Thank you.”
Our waitress left, and neither of us picked up our food.
“Wanting more?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“More than sex?”
He leaned his head to the side. “Meaning?”
I shook my head and picked up my fork. “Companionship, Hawk. Conversation. Interest in more than how to open my legs. That’s what I mean by more.”
“I meet those things, besides companionship.”
“Companionship is important.”
“How do you define it?”
I munched on my food, almost ready to laugh at the whole situation. Had I not known what he’d been through, I would’ve thought he was a robot with no emotions. Instead, I realized he was just guarding himself.
