by Joan Holub
“But why were you calling each other Zeus and Hera?” Iris cocked her head in confusion, then quickly straightened it, realizing she’d been unconsciously imitating the way these two birds—er, shape-shifting mortals were moving their heads in quick tilts and turns.
“Oh,” Ceyx said sheepishly. “Those are just our pet names for each other.”
Alcyone nodded her head in a series of little jerks. “Everyone talks about how happy Zeus and Hera are. So in love. Like us!” She shared a happy smile with Ceyx.
Iris could see by their sunny yellow auras that what they said was true. They were as happy as lovebirds!
“You can call us by our real names, though,” Ceyx said quickly. “We use the pet names only with each other. It’s meant as a compliment to the gods,” he declared.
Iris wasn’t so sure Zeus would see it that way if he got wind of this. He could be touchy about certain things, and this pair of birds using his and Hera’s names as nicknames was probably one of them.
“Well, Hera asked me to give this to you,” Iris said. She pulled the letterscroll from her bag and handed it to Ceyx.
He gave Alcyone a confused look as he took the letterscroll. “What’s up with the delivery service? Couldn’t you have just given this to me yourself?”
“I’ve never seen that scroll in my life!” exclaimed Alcyone with another quick jerk of her head.
“No! It’s from the real Hera,” Iris explained.
“Oh, that makes more sense,” said Ceyx. “Why didn’t you say so?” He unrolled it on the counter and began reading with his left eye.
“Snack?” Alcyone offered. Iris turned to see that she was holding out a bowl filled with birdseed.
“No, thanks,” said Iris. “I’m not hungry.” Unfortunately, her stomach chose just that moment to grumble. She hoped Alcyone hadn’t heard. Although Iris was actually starving, she didn’t want to eat birdseed. But she also didn’t want to hurt the bird-lady’s feelings.
“This is terrible!” Ceyx warbled in an alarmed voice, drawing their attention. His head bobbed up and down as he tapped a finger on the letterscroll Iris had delivered. “It’s a warning from Hera. She heard about our pet names and says if Zeus finds out, he’ll be mighty angry. She thinks he might mistakenly think I’m trying to impersonate him. Or decide I have a crush on Hera—his wife, that is.”
“Oh no! What are we going to do?” squawked Alcyone, drowning out Iris’s shocked gasp.
“Let’s get our names officially changed to ‘Hera’ and ‘Zeus,’ ” suggested Ceyx. “That way Zeus won’t be mad if he finds out.”
“Good plan, tweety pie!” said Alcyone.
Huh? thought Iris. These two were birdbrains if they thought that would work! “Or maybe you could write to Hera and promise not to use the pet names anymore,” she suggested.
“Even better!” said Alcyone.
“And a lot less paperwork.” Ceyx got out a blank letterscroll and quickly penned a reply to Hera, then handed it to Iris. “Will you deliver it?”
“Sure,” said Iris. She’d be glad to help head off trouble!
“Hurry off now. Fly away,” said Alcyone, making a flapping motion toward Iris with her arms.
Just then Iris glimpsed Antheia coming up the gangplank toward the ship. Iris couldn’t let her find out about the pitcher. “One more thing, though,” she told the bird-mortals in a rush. “I also came for a pitcher. A special one that Zeus wants.”
“I only remember having one pitcher. That fancy one with the stopper that we got from those pickers,” said Ceyx.
“We should’ve known better than to buy anything from those Harpies,” said Alcyone. “They fool us every time.”
Iris groaned silently. Her Harpy sisters, Alcyone meant. Though they owned and operated the café here in the IM, they still liked to roam the heavens and Earth in their spare time, searching for interesting items to pick up and resell. Hence the nickname: pickers. Only, more often than not they picked up items that already belonged to someone else! Stole them, in other words.
“Right. I remember. We traded feather-combs to them for it,” said Ceyx.
“Can I have it?” Iris asked eagerly.
Alcyone shook her head. “We gave the pitcher to the Goddess Styx earlier today. She came in for fish food and saw it. Apparently it had been stolen from her.”
Iris’s eyes went wide. “The Goddess Styx? As in the one who guards the River Styx? The boundary between Earth and the Underworld?”
The big birds both nodded.
“Since the pitcher was stolen goods,” Ceyx went on, “we had to return it to her.”
Oh no! thought Iris. The Underworld was not only dank and dark; it was scary and maybe a little dangerous. Like most MOA students, she had never set foot there. And she never wanted to either! A student named Hades, who seemed kind of gloomy to her, was the godboy of the Underworld. And he was constantly warning others to stay away from the place.
“Hi! What did I miss?” asked Antheia, poking her head in through the doorway.
“Nothing,” Iris, Ceyx, and Alcyone all said at the same time.
5
Hungry, Hungry Harpies
IRIS PAUSED TO GAZE AT the magical gifts in a gift store window as she and Antheia headed back through the IM. She was also thinking hard, giving herself time to figure out what to do about the pitcher. In the window were artfully arranged decorations, including papyrus-tissue wedding bells and big white gift boxes with elaborate bows.
“That’s pretty,” said Antheia, pointing out a silver tea set. The second she spoke, the lid on the decorative box nearest to the tea set lifted, and a puppet popped out like a jack-in-the-gift-box. It wore a white tunic with a formal black bowtie at its neck.
Staring at window decorations wasn’t going to help Iris decide whether she should go to the Underworld this afternoon to try to find the Goddess Styx. If she went, it might be dark by the time she got there. Where did the Goddess Styx live anyway? Probably somewhere along the long, winding, sludgy Styx River that bordered the Underworld. She shuddered at the very idea of making such a visit. Still, she didn’t want to let Zeus down.
Becoming aware that the puppet in the window had sprung toward them and was waiting for her or Antheia to ask a question about one of the gifts on display, she told it, “We’re just window shopping.” Looking a little disappointed, the puppet sank back down into its box, and the lid closed over the top of it again.
“What’s wrong?” Antheia asked her as they moved on. “I can tell you’re upset. What happened with Ceyx? What did Hera’s letterscroll say?”
“Well,” Iris began, shooting her an uncertain glance. She really didn’t want to get into it, since telling a little information would lead to questions about stuff Zeus had asked her not to reveal.
“Hey!” someone called out before Iris could go on. The girls looked over their shoulders to see Zephyr coming their way. No wild winds swirled around him now, not even a breeze.
“You’re that girl from MOA. Iris, right?” Zephyr said to her. “The one with the pens and the Harpy sisters? I saw you in Zeus’s office.”
Iris sucked in a sharp breath. “No! I mean, yes, I’m Iris. And my sisters are Harpies, but I’m not.” She was glad for a chance to tell him, and she hoped he’d tell his brothers. She loved her older sisters, but the three of them had a bad reputation for thieving and driving people crazy. They even drove her crazy most of the time, and she was always trying to keep their reputation from rubbing off on her.
“Well, I saw you from the window of their café and just wanted to warn you that they’re stirring up trouble in there.”
Stirring up trouble? He was one to talk. She knew that her three sisters weren’t perfect—not even close. But his three brothers weren’t exactly well-behaved either! Especially that Boreas. “What kind of trouble? Not a food fight, I hope.”
“Not yet, but they’ve been stealing—um, borrowing from their own customers and—”
/> “Oh no!” Having spent plenty of time in the Hungry, Hungry Harpy Café her sisters owned, Iris could well imagine the rest. She spun around and took off down the mall, with Antheia and Zephyr right behind her. Seconds later she was grabbing the pair of H-shaped door handles and pushing into the café.
It was filled with secondhand items the Harpies had handpicked or, at least in the case of the smallest items, pick-pocketed over the years. They proudly used stolen goods as decorations, and the café walls were covered with them. The ceilings, too. There was an antique violin, some rusty farm equipment, paper fans, sparkly costume jewelry, and even a few items supposedly once owned by immortals.
Two dozen or so back issues of Teen Scrollazine and the Greekly Weekly News had been framed and hung on the wall behind the order counter. The issues had been selected based on how important, wild, or amusing their headlines were. For instance: ZEUS TO WED HERA! And SUN CHARIOT CRASHES, CAUSING FIRE! Plus, TROUBLE BUBBLES WREAK HAVOC AT MOA!
Almost immediately Iris saw what had gotten Zephyr so worried. A gray-haired mortal man was sitting at the counter on a stool made from an old leather trunk. There was an angry look on his face, and he held on tight to his silverware, as if afraid his utensils might be snatched away. He had a right to be worried!
Because Iris’s three Harpy sisters—Aello, Celaeno, and Ocypete—were all standing nearby, watching him intently. Their faces bore a resemblance to Iris’s. But their wings were huge and enabled them to fly, unlike her more delicate ones.
As Iris headed for the counter, the gray-haired man slammed his fist down on it, denting it a little. (There were already many such dents in the counter from other dissatisfied customers.) “That’s the second blue-plate special you’ve stolen from under my nose,” the man yelled at the Harpies. “What have you done with it? Give it back!”
“Now, Phineas, you’re mistaken,” cooed Aello.
Meanwhile, Celaeno skillfully swiped his napkin when he wasn’t looking. “We gave you those blue-plate specials and you ate them. You just don’t remember.”
“It wouldn’t be fair to ask for another,” added Ocypete. “Unless you want to pay for a third one.”
“What? I will not pay for a third, and I want you to return my money for the first two you stole.” As he was arguing with Ocypete, Aello sneaked up from behind him and snitched his glass of tea, quickly drank it, and then set the glass back down before he noticed.
Phineas reached for his glass seconds later, and became angry when he found it empty. “Hey! Where’s my tea?”
“Crazy kleptomaniacs,” muttered Boreas. He was sitting in a booth with Notus and Eurus, near enough for Iris to hear. Zephyr and Antheia were over by them too.
Iris glared at Boreas. He was right, though. Her sisters were up to their usual tricks—stealing food from customers as fast as they served it to them. As Phineas stood to go, Celaeno wrote out a bill and handed it to him.
He wadded it up and threw it over his shoulder, shouting, “I told you. I’m not going to pay for food I didn’t eat!”
As Zephyr had suspected, a fight was brewing.
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of this!” Iris called to Phineas. She usually spent her summers working here in the café, so she knew how to handle the trouble her Harpy sisters caused. Smiling brightly, she dashed back to the kitchen. When she reappeared, she handed him a to-go dinner in a see-through box. “Here you go, sir. One blue-plate special. On the house.”
“He has to pay for that,” Aello said in outrage.
“That’s too big of a helping,” Celaeno insisted.
“Let us just have a taste of it to be sure it’s okay,” said Ocypete, reaching for the box.
Ignoring them, Iris ushered Phineas and his box out of the café. “Thank you! Come again!” she called after him.
Once he was gone, she turned back to see that all the remaining customers in the café were gaping at her and her sisters. As always, such looks made her want to sink into the floor. Her older sisters were just sooo embarrassing!
Iris opened her mouth to scold them for about the thousandth time in her life, but stopped when her eyes fell on a set of boy’s baby clothes that had been framed like a picture and hung on the café wall. How strange! She looked more closely and gasped in surprise. Those weren’t just any old baby clothes. The label claimed that Zeus had worn the little tunic when he was six months old! Supposedly. It did have scorch marks on it. Still, you never knew with her sisters whether an item was the genuine thing or not.
“Into the kitchen,” Iris ordered the Harpy trio. Obediently they trooped into the kitchen, and she followed. Honestly, sometimes she felt like the older sister in this bunch.
“Did you steal a pitcher from the Goddess Styx?” she asked them. She didn’t bother scolding them about their treatment of customers. She’d tried that too many times before to no avail.
Her sisters appeared insulted by her question. “Steal?” echoed Aello.
“We’ve never stolen anything in our lives,” huffed Celaeno. “We merely pick up lost things and give them a home.” She always attempted to paint their bad behavior in the best possible light.
“You always blame us, Little Sister,” Ocypete added as she opened the oven and pulled something from it that smelled delicious. “So unfair. However, since you mention it, we did borrow such a pitcher from the Goddess Styx and lend it to Ceyx.”
Before Iris could question them further, Aello glanced at something beyond her and said, “Is that your boyfriend?”
“What?” Iris looked over her shoulder to see Zephyr craning his head toward the kitchen from where he sat at the table with his brothers. To her surprise Antheia was sitting with them too, talking with the boys she’d claimed were so annoying.
Catching Iris’s eye, Zephyr appeared ready to come to her assistance if she beckoned. She shook her head at him. She could handle this.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” she told her sisters. Good thing she didn’t blush easily. And supergood thing that she was the only person she knew who could read auras. Hers was probably the shade of deep red that meant major embarrassment right now.
“Why don’t you go have a seat with your not-boyfriend, then,” Celaeno teased, ushering her out of the kitchen. “And we’ll serve you all a nice lunch.”
“Uh. Okay. Thanks,” said Iris. The delicious smells of the food cooking in pots and pans all around her were practically making her dizzy. She was starving! She figured the birds’ scroll could wait just a little longer to be delivered to Hera. At least she hoped so. “But please, don’t you dare steal back any of the food you serve us, okay?”
“Of course not!” her three sisters exclaimed innocently.
Rolling her eyes, Iris went over to the booth where the others were, and her sisters immediately served them all blue-plate specials. She wound up sitting by Zephyr. Antheia was across from her between Boreas and Eurus.
Iris knew her sisters had kept her from scolding them by offering lunch and teasing her about Zephyr being her boyfriend. Typical! They were tricky like that. They had bad manners and cackled, burped, and flapped their wings as they pleased. And despite their repeated promises not to steal things, they always did. So was it any wonder they were such an embarrassment to her?
Still, she wasn’t happy when Boreas began to make fun of them as soon as she sat down. “So what’s it like having food-rustling soup-snatchers for sisters?” he asked her.
“Nobody’s perfect,” she snapped as she dug into the tasty meal. “And don’t forget that they made this food we’re eating and gave us a place to sit and eat it. I assume you must like it here, or you’d go somewhere else!”
“Ooh! Burned me!” Boreas replied, laughing as if he didn’t take the whole thing seriously at all. Still smiling his smirky smile, he began teasing Antheia instead.
“So was that your rainbow we saw this morning when we flew over the sports fields? I mean, you make rainbows?” Zephyr asked her a minute later.
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br /> Iris nodded, keeping a close eye on the Harpies as they came and went. When Ocypete tried to nab the salt-shaker from the table, Iris cleared her throat and shook her head at her. Ocypete grinned and set the shaker back down. Stealing was like a game to those sisters of hers!
“Awesome. How do you do it?” asked Zephyr.
“Do what?” Iris asked blankly. Then she realized he must still have been talking about her rainbows, and she shrugged. “That’s like me asking you how you and your brothers make the winds blow. You can just do it, right?”
“Right, but there’s a science behind what we do,” he said. Sipping his tea, he explained. “Basically, the sun heats the Earth unevenly, causing warm air and cool air. Warm air weighs less than cool air so it rises. Cool air sinks. My brothers and I take that air movement and give it speed and direction. As simple as that.”
Iris laughed. “Simple, huh? I don’t think so.” He seemed as fascinated by weather as she was. To her surprise this boy was turning out to be kind of interesting!
He grinned back and gave his head a toss, flipping the chestnut-brown hair from his sky-blue eyes. Which she’d just noticed had soft gray flecks in them. “So, what about rainbows? There must be some trick to them,” he insisted.
No one had ever asked her that before, but now Iris considered it. “Well, I guess what happens is that I make thin beams of light stream from my fingers. Using magic, of course. Then I aim those light beams at really tiny droplets of water suspended high in the air. The droplets act like thousands of tiny prisms.”
Just then Antheia interrupted, calling something across the table that Iris didn’t quite catch. It was getting hard to hear because the three Harpies had begun singing loudly and clashing dishes as they cleared a nearby table.
“What?” Iris called back, cupping her ear.
“Pass the salt!” Antheia repeated.
As Iris reached for the saltshaker, Zephyr picked up the thread of their conversation again. “I get it. So your beams of light pass through the raindrops, which breaks them into all kinds of colors.”
