by Donna Flynn
“Thanks, Dad” I whispered, hugging him back as tears fogged my eyes.
“It’s almost seven. Your guests should be here soon, so let us get in place,” my mother said, discreetly handing me a tissue to wipe my tear-filled eyes as my father let me go. She moved us all into position to receive our guests, and Jess and I took our places just as doorbell rang and the first guests began to arrive.
After a half hour of nonstop pleasantries, Chris walked in, late as usual, but wearing an impish grin that made it hard to be angry with him for getting to avoid all of the small talk Jess and I had to suffer through.
“Happy Birthday,” he said, shoving a pink paper-wrapped package into my hands, as he pulled at the collar of the dress shirt I was sure his mother forced him to wear with his other hand.
“Thank you,” I said, trying not to laugh at how uncomfortable he looked.
“Only for you would I wear this getup,” he told me before moving on to chat with Jess, while I finished greeting the guests that had come in behind him.
The line was moving along nicely when I heard Jess take a deep breath next to me and followed her gaze to where Josh stood in the doorway staring at her with a look of mutual longing. He was truly hot in anything he wore, but dressed in a pair of black dress slacks with an emerald-green silk shirt he was amazing, and I completely understood her reaction. He made his way through the line and handed me a gift bag absently, while staring at Jess with a hungry expression. It made me hopeful he might finally make his move with her.
“Jess, why don’t you show Josh around?” He has never been to my house before,” I prodded. She looked at me uncertainly. “Don’t blow this,” I whispered, pushing her gently but firmly toward him.
“Uh-huh,” she murmured. Her eyes locked with Josh’s as he took her hand and escorted her toward the ballroom. Neither one of them even seemed interested in the people that surrounded them as they walked away, hand in hand, completely mesmerized by one another.
“Jeez, you would think they have never seen each other before,” Chris said beside me.
“Give them a break, they have been crushing on each other for over a year,” I said, slapping his arm playfully.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, eyeing a pretty little blonde cheerleader I knew had just broke up with her boyfriend and was the perfect target for his flirting. “I’ll see you later.” He took off after the female. I shook my head as he caught up to her and she stared up at him with obvious interest. I loved him like a brother, but one day I knew he was going to meet a female who wouldn’t be swayed by his flirtatious ways, and I couldn’t wait to see it.
The front door opened and Chad walked in, wearing a warm smile as he walked directly toward me. “You look great,” he said softly.
“Thanks, you look good too.” He really was handsome, all dressed up in his suit and tie. I knew so many girls that would have been flattered by his attentions, but I just couldn’t muster the same feelings, not when I was so preoccupied with Aidan.
“Happy birthday,” he said, handing me a small gift-wrapped box.
“Thank you,” I said, playing with the ribbon on top, unsure what else to say.
“Can I walk you inside?” he asked politely.
I noted everyone else had abandoned the hall and was already inside the ballroom, and nodded. He placed his slightly moist hand against the small of my back and gallantly led me into the ballroom. It was sweet, but his touch did not cause the riot of emotions Aidan’s did and, really, I hadn’t expected it to. Something told me that no male would ever affect me the way Aidan did.
As we walked through the double doors, everyone broke out in a chorus of “happy birthday” and I felt my cheeks flame with embarrassment. Chad escorted me to where my family stood, next to a monstrous cake covered in shimmering pink frosting with glittery candles burning brightly, illuminating the area around it. I waited until everyone stopped singing, blew out the candles, and my family took turns hugging me before releasing me to my friends.
Everyone converged on me at once, all eager to tell me how much they loved the decorations, the music, and the food. Even though the last thing I really wanted was a party, I had to admit my mother had done it again, and I loved her dearly for making every occasion special. Still, I could not help but feel the celebration was incomplete without Aidan there with me, and that thought made my heart ache.
Chad excused himself to join his friends and I stood alone on the sidelines as everyone else danced and had a good time. I didn’t mind in the least until a slow song began to play and I watched couples begin moving together to the music. It was an achingly beautiful ballad, and I felt tears welling in my eyes as the male singer’s solemn voice sang of his love for the only female he would ever give his heart to. A love like that was what I desired, what I longed for now every time I thought of Aidan.
A familiar tingle filled the air and my heart began to race. Suddenly Aidan was there, striding toward me, his eyes riveted to mine. “Would you care to dance?” he asked, holding out his hand as he bowed in a long-forgotten courtly gesture.
Without hesitation, I placed my hand inside of his and he led me to the dance floor, pulling me into the circle of his strong arms. We danced as one across the floor, our bodies flowing seamlessly together in time with the music, molding together perfectly until it was if we were one. The feel of his hand on my waist, the intensity of his gaze, and the longing I felt for him was all-consuming. I knew I would never forget that moment as long as I lived, and that it would be one of my most cherished memories.
I was completely swept away, but the music stopped far too soon. Aidan raised my hand to his lips, kissing the back before letting it fall to my side. “Happy birthday,” he said, before turning and walking out of one of the many large open French doors that led to the patio outside.
I stood dumbfounded for a brief moment, unable to believe he was leaving so quickly. “No way,” I murmured, running out of the door he had exited, moving swiftly across the back porch, down the steps, and to the garden where I felt his presence. The guards I passed eyed me curiously, but I didn’t pay them any mind. I didn’t stop until I stood in the entrance of the garden, my breathing heavy as I surveyed the scene before me. Every tree and shrub in the area was covered in thousands of twinkle lights, decorated just as thoroughly as the house had been, and in the center of it all was the gazebo where Aidan stood, watching me with an anguished expression.
I walked quickly toward the gazebo, pausing on the top stair and meeting his gaze with my own. “Thank you for coming,” I said softly.
He looked uncertain, as if trying to decide if he should stay or leave. I could feel his indecision and wondered why it had to be so hard for us both when all we wanted was to be together.
“You are incredibly beautiful tonight. It is really not fair to all the males in there.” He frowned and looked toward the house ruefully. “You should go back in; they will be looking for you.”
“I don’t care. It’s not them I want to be with tonight.” He raised his eyebrow at my bold words but I did not regret them. I wanted him, and no amount of family, friends, or partying was going to make up for his absence.
“Katie, you should go inside. It’s gotten hard to control myself around you, and I don’t want to do something that we will both regret.”
Shame filled his face and my heart clenched with fear. Not fear he would hurt me, but the fear he would leave me again. “I don’t want this to end. I don’t want you to leave. It hurts too much,” I told him desperately, tears dancing behind my eyelids. “You have been gone only a few days and I miss you as if it has been months.”
He looked startled by my words but covered it up quickly. “You can’t know what you’re feeling, you’re too young,” he said hoarsely.
“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t know!” I snapped. “Until you kissed me my life was fine. I went to school and hung out with my friends, even wanted to date the guys at school. I was living the life you
keep telling me you want me to have, but now since that damn kiss all I want is to be with you. I am not a child, Aidan! I know what I feel and what I want. Every instinct I have tells me that you are the one I need in my life, the one I am meant to be with. Nothing, not my family, or any amount of time, is going to change that.” I reached out and took his hand in my own, clenching it tightly. “Tell me you don’t feel anything when I touch you. Tell me you don’t feel the same way I do, and I’ll walk away right now and do my best to forget you.”
His eyes were wide and he clenched my hand tightly. “You don’t know what you are asking,” he murmured. “There are so many things you need to know before agreeing to be with me.”
“Tell me,” I pleaded. “Fill me in and let me decide.”
“I can’t,” he said softly, bending his head, placing his cool lips to mine in a searing kiss that had me moving closer, pressing myself against him, desperate for more. The kiss was so different from our first one the night Scott had attacked me. That kiss had been slow and gentle, reassuring, but this kiss was hard, demanding, and a fever seemed to envelope us both. His tongue made lazy circles in my mouth and I responded eagerly. He groaned, pulling me even closer until our bodies melded together, pressing against one another, stoking the growing inferno between us until I felt as if I would be consumed by its fames. Then, as suddenly as it started, it ended. I was left standing alone, wrapping my arms around myself to ward of the chill his leaving had caused. My gaze found him immediately. He stood a few feet away, the regret he felt for being so reckless easy to read upon on his face.
“Happy birthday, Katie, please try to be happy without me,” he said softly.
I turned away for just a split second when someone called my name, but when I turned back, Aidan was gone. The immeasurable joy I had felt only moments before in his arms vanished, and I felt only the ache of my heart his absence brought.
“Katie,” Chad called out, walking toward me with a worried expression. “Are you okay?”
“I just needed some air,” I lied, looking away so he would not see the tears in my eyes and the utter heartbreak I knew must be upon my face.
“Let me walk you back inside.”
He held out his hand, and I took the offer like a life raft, thankful for anyone who could help me in that moment. As we approached the house, I saw a perfectly restored black, Chevy Impala with a huge pink bow tied to the hood. I looked at my parents, who stood on the front steps beaming, along with everyone else who was standing around the car looking as excited as I should have felt. It was my dream car: the one I had talked nonstop about since I saw one on a popular paranormal TV series years before. I knew it must have cost a fortune and tried to muster the appropriate response.
“You shouldn’t have,” I told my parents.
“It was not us, sweetheart, there’s a card on the front seat,” my father said.
I reached down into the car and took the card in my hand, knowing without opening it whom the car was from. Only one other person would spend so lavishly on me, and I could feel his presence in the vicinity. The card began to shake in my hand, and I felt as if the air around me had thinned.
“Well?” Jess said next to me, looking expectantly at the card in my hand.
I opened the note and read, my words monotone, my heart filled with pain. “Happy birthday, sweet 16, you will always be my Amado Uno. Aidan” Tears welled in my eyes, my chest tightened, making it hard to breathe, and my hands trembled. I looked back toward the garden, catching a glimpse of Aidan standing among the shadows. He smiled wanly, then was gone before I could react. This time I didn’t bother chasing him. As long as I was human I would never be able to catch him, and that thought filled me with even more despair than I already felt.
With a heavy heart, I managed to finish the night, saying all the right things and participating in the events my mother had planned when necessary, but my heart was not in it. When all of the guests had gone I thanked my parents for the party, kissed them goodnight, and headed for my room.
My mother made to follow, but Dad put a restraining hand on her arm. “Let her go. Nothing we can say will help right now.”
Paul growled loudly, slamming the door as he left the house, and I knew then that I had not really fooled anyone.
Chapter Twelve
A year to a vampire was probably fleeting, I realized, but for me, a mere human, it seemed endless. The days following Aidan’s departure were long, hollow, and achingly slow. I spent most of my time in my room, alone, pining for him despite my family’s attempts to draw me out of my self-imposed seclusion. It wasn’t until the first day of school as I stood in the hallway watching my friends that I realized that, while I had been pining for Aidan and hiding away from the world, everyone else had gone on with their lives.
Jess and Josh were now an inseparable pair, so in love that it hurt to be around them. Chris had been dating one female exclusively for most of the year and seemed quite happy to be in a committed relationship, but I barely knew the girl.
I had become isolated in my misery and had not even noticed that I had missed out on so much with my friends. At home, my family walked on eggshells around me, avoiding any conversations where Aidan might be mentioned, afraid to upset me any more than I already was. It was an eye-opening observation. It was not living, as Aidan had asked me to do: I was just existing and it had to end. Then and there, I vowed to myself to put aside my feelings for Aidan and learn to live without him as I had done before that first, fateful kiss.
*****
I woke on the morning of my seventeenth birthday ready to start a new chapter in my life. I still missed Aidan and felt pain in my heart every time I thought of him, but I had learned to deal with that pain and go on with my life. I made amends to my friends for my horrid behavior and focused on the here and now. In short, I did as Aidan asked: I was living.
Jess, Josh, Chris, and his girlfriend, Taylor, were taking me out for dinner, since I wanted a quiet celebration and not the big event my mother usually planned. We all met up at Kelly’s, where a small, lopsided cake Jess had made for me and bouquet of colorful balloons waited at the table. They were the only nod that we were celebrating my birthday, which was just fine with me. We hung out for hours, laughing and joking with one another as we used to do before my breakdown. When we were done, Josh drove Jess and me to my house, where we had planned on having a girl’s sleepover.
The house was dark as we approached, but, I saw the guards hidden in the shadows keeping watch over the place, so I didn’t think anything of it. I opened the front door and reached for the light switch, flipping it on and squealing like a frightened child when a foyer full of people yelled “happy birthday!” scaring me within an inch of my life.
Jess came to my side as I stared wide-eyed at everyone before me, my heart pounding wildly inside of my chest. “You did not think your mom would really let your birthday pass without a party, did you?” She smiled and hugged me. “I know you’ve had a rough year, but I can’t believe you did not realize what we were up to.”
“I really didn’t,” I murmured, still in shock.
“Good, then we got you,” she told me playfully.
“You sure did.”
Josh took her hand, offering me a sympathetic smile before pulling her toward the ballroom, where everyone was gathering.
My mother approached me warily as I stared into the ballroom where music was blaring and people were already dancing, having a good time. “Are you mad, darling?” she asked hesitantly.
“Not really,” I said, and really I wasn’t angry. I just had thought it would be easier to avoid missing Aidan if I went out and got away from all the reminders of him and last year’s party, but I realized it did not matter. I always thought of him no matter where I was or whom I was with; he was simply a part of me, no matter where I was.
“Why don’t we go inside, everyone’s waiting,” she said, leading me to the doorway of the ballroom.
The r
oom was decorated in blue and silver, the music was loud, and the lights were pulsating in a nightclub-like atmosphere. As we entered, the music stopped on cue and everyone began to sing Happy Birthday. I blew out the candles on the massive cake, and my father pulled me into his arms, hugging me close.
“Sorry honey, your mother insisted on giving you a party,” he murmured.
“It’s alright, Dad. I’m good with it.” He didn’t look as if he believed me. “Really, it’s alright.”
“Okay, well then go and have fun with your friends.”
“I love you, Dad,” I told him giving one last hug.
“I love you too, honey,” he said before letting me go.
“Let’s dance,” Jess yelled over the loud music that began to play, grabbing my arm and pulling me to toward the dance floor, where Josh and Chris waited for us.
“Let’s get this party started,” Chris said, his body already moving in time with the fast- paced music.
“Let’s,” I agreed, allowing the music to overtake me.
To my surprise I found myself laughing and enjoying the time with my friends. That was, until the music changed suddenly to an achingly familiar slow song that brought back the memories of my sweet-sixteen party and dancing with Aidan. Tears welled in my eyes as I saw Chad moving towards me. I knew there was no way I could dance to that song with him, so I lowered my head and excused myself, needing to get away. I was walking off the dance floor when pair of strong arms pulled me close, stopping my escape
“Can I have this dance?” a familiar male voice asked, his voice husky and full of emotion.
I looked up into Aidan’s brilliant blue eyes and nodded, too choked up to form an answer. He held me in his arms and I laid my head against his chest as he swept me away, dancing me out of the doors and onto the patio where we could be alone. It felt good to be in his arms again and I savored the feeling of our bodies moving as one, perfectly in sync as they swayed to the music. As the song ended, he took my hand, led me off the patio, and in one seamless motion picked me up in his arms and took us to the gazebo.
