by June Kramin
“I’m sorry he put the burden of me on you,” she said, losing her happy moment as well. “It was probably too much on her with me being there. I shouldn’t have gone home.”
“It had nothing to do with you. Is everything that happens on this planet your fault, ’cause I have a nasty bunion starting and I’d love to be able to blame you for it.”
“What did I ever see in you, anyway?”
“Not much of anything but a ghost apparently.” He pushed himself off the counter and walked away.
Chapter 27
OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS, they hardly spoke. They remained civil when they shared the same space, but that was as little as possible. Even though Ben insisted she take the bedroom, Reggie slept on the couch.
“I don’t want to be in the way anymore, Ben,” she said that night after he hit the lights and said good night.
“I’m an asshole, but I’m not going to throw you out on your ass, Reggie. You can stay as long as you need to.”
“I’ll start looking for an apartment tomorrow.”
“What’re you going to do for money?”
“I have enough to rent a place. The insurance shouldn’t take too much longer. I’ll be okay for a while. In any case, I’m really not your problem. It hasn’t been fair to you.”
“Whatever,” he said as he shut his bedroom door.
The next morning, Ben woke up early and was surprised to see the couch empty. It wasn’t made up yet either. He looked around, but couldn’t find Reggie outside. He finally found her the bathroom, throwing up. He waited for a moment and knocked gently on the door. “You okay in there?”
“No. Please go away.”
When the door finally opened, he walked over to her. “Holy crap. You look horrible.”
“What every woman wants to hear. Thanks.”
“Go get something on. I’ll take you in to the doctor.”
“I don’t need a doctor, Ben.”
“Have you looked in a mirror?”
“Ahhhh.” She spun around, grabbing her bag of clothes before she went back into the bathroom.
~*~
They had been to town shopping a few times so she could get some clothes and such. It would have been more exciting to rebuild her life and wardrobe if she had somewhere to put them. She wanted, more than anything, to climb in bed with Ben at night and share what they had before. She missed the closeness, the familiarity of his body, his smell. She blew it and now he hated her. She could have left a few days ago, but she was hoping that by being together, maybe something would happen and he would fall for her again. Trying to be been civil and helpful, she had made the meals and helped with the fence, but he was always distant, never saying much. He refused interviews regarding her rescue, completely shrugging it off. He couldn’t have cared less about her. She needed to get away from him before it ate her up.
~*~
While Ben pulled the truck up to his front door, his anger just about destroyed him. He longed to bring her to his chest when she stepped out of the bathroom. She obviously didn’t feel well and he wanted to comfort her, to make her feel better. What did he do? Tell her she looked like hell. You are a number one first class asshole, Bentley. If she wants to go, then let her go. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. She doesn’t love you, you schmuck. I’d even go as far as to say she hates your guts. He opened his door and stopped talking to himself. He hurried over to open her door and help her. She returned a courteous smile. No more, no less.
He dropped her off at the doctor’s office and said to call when she was done. “I have errands I can do. I’ll only be a few minutes away.”
“Thanks.” She closed his door and he drove off.
~*~
“Pregnant? I can’t be pregnant. Doctor Griffen…I can’t get pregnant.”
“I beg to differ. You can and have. You do know how this happens, correct?” he said with a grin.
“I know how it happens! It just can’t happen to me.”
“Can and has…unless you, of course, abstain from sex and this is an immaculate conception.”
“You don’t understand. I had an…accident when I was eighteen. They told me I couldn’t get pregnant. I’ve never been able to get pregnant.”
“Apparently you’ve healed.”
“I hardly get anything for a period. I usually barely even spot.” She stopped for a moment and remembered things getting heavier a few months ago. She refused to get excited about it and wrote it off more as a nuisance than anything. When it stopped again, she didn’t even think twice about it.
“There are exceptions to every rule, especially where nature is concerned.”
“I can’t…” She stopped arguing. Her thoughts went to Ben. What would he do now? He’d hate her more than ever.
“Is this not welcome news? I would think you’d be excited after all these years, if you’ve said you’ve tried and now you’ve finally succeeded.”
“My husband is no longer around.”
“I see.” He said it in a way that meant he really didn’t understand the situation. She wasn’t about to explain it. “Since you’re not sure of the date of your last period, I can only guess at this point by the size of things. My guess is that you are eight weeks along. I wouldn’t recommend terminating the pregnancy this late in the game. I can make a call and see—”
“No!” she shouted. “No. I’m not terminating the pregnancy. I’m eight weeks along?” That would put her conceiving practically the first time she and Ben made love.
“You’ve never had any tenderness in your breasts? No other signs of discomfort?”
“There have been a lot of strange things going on. I haven’t slowed down enough to realize…” She thought about her stomach being queasy on Maui. She wished she hadn’t had so much to drink that day.
“Kimball,” he said, reading her name again. “You’re the girl who lost her house to a fire, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Are you getting by?”
“Yes.” She slid off the table. “I’ll be fine. Doctor?” She hesitated. “I really had no idea. I kind of drank a lot a few days back. Is the baby going to be okay?” She was really worried since Sabrina always made it a point not to drink if she even thought there was a possibility she could be pregnant.
“You’ll be okay, just lay off the booze from here on out. Okay?”
She nodded.
He ripped a piece of paper off a notepad. “This is a prescription for prenatal vitamins. Fill it as soon as you can. I’d like to see you next month for a follow up.”
“Thank you.”
Ben was sitting in the waiting room when she walked out. She hid the paper with the prescription in her pants pocket. She hadn’t even bothered to purchase a new purse.
He stood up and walked to her. “What did he say?”
“Nothing. Just a passing bug. I told you I didn’t need to come in. Why are you back so quick, anyway? I thought you had errands to do.”
“I found you an apartment. I thought you’d want to see it and move out right away.”
“Oh.” She placed a hand on her stomach. “I guess so. Thanks.”
“You’re not going to toss your cookies again, are you?”
Now that she knew she was pregnant, her pants were incredibly uncomfortable and tight. She also wanted to fill the prescription right away.
“No. I’m better already. Can we stop at a store please? I’d like to get a few things.”
“Sure. How about after you look at the apartment. It’s not furnished. You’ll need a few things anyway.”
“Okay.”
She lacked enthusiasm for the apartment, but it would do. It was a lot bigger than her one bedroom on Oahu and less than half the rent. “When can I move in?”
“We can move you in tonight. The manager said they would prorate the rent. Light and electric are on; you’ll just have to get it put in your name. That shouldn’t be a problem since you’d have a history with them with yo
ur house.” She stared in the bedroom and her thoughts drifted off as he talked. She pictured a baby crib in the corner and her eyes filled with tears. Her hand rubbed her stomach. Two months. Will I be able to feel the baby kick soon? That’s when…
“You feeling okay, Reg? You’re zoning out on me.”
She wiped at her eyes. “It needs a good dusting in here, but it’ll be fine. Thanks for finding it, Ben. It’ll be nice to have me out of your hair.”
“Yeah, I suppose. Let’s see about at least getting you a bed, table and a few chairs for starters.”
“I don’t have enough yet for things like that. I’ll get by with—”
“You can pay me back. You can’t sleep on the floor, for cryin’ out loud, Reggie. Quit being so damn hard-headed.”
She wanted to cry, to hit him, to say she loved him and that she was carrying his baby, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t. Not ever—to any of it. She’d stay here with the bare necessities and move as soon as she received the insurance money for the house. It was ruled as an accident and the case was closed. They couldn’t drag it out forever.
~*~
Two months later, Reggie was leaving the grocery store with her small canvas bag of fruits, veggies, and fresh piece of chicken to broil for dinner. She enjoyed shopping day by day as she needed things. The daily walk to the store was enjoyable as well as great exercise. The doctor said things were progressing completely normal. She was given a clean bill of health again today and had no restrictions set on her. Upon closer inspection with an ultrasound, the doctor found her uterus to be perfectly normal and another surprise as well. She was still beaming from the news.
She always walked very early or very late and had never run into Ben. They hadn’t spoken since she moved out. The apartment didn’t allow pets, but Ben agreed to take care of Derf for her. She missed her cat almost as much as she missed Ben. Initially, she thought maybe she could visit him, but she had started to show almost immediately so she had been avoiding Ben completely. She was glad he hadn’t called wondering why she hadn’t come to visit the cat. He truly must not have wanted to see her either. Baby-doll tops were back in fashion and she was able to conceal her stomach well, but they wouldn’t last forever.
She suspected that the people at work knew, but no one said a word. She lucked out on getting a part-time/temporary job in the library. That was the one place she didn’t think she’d run in to Ben, and she had been right. She just needed something to fill her days until she could move on and this was perfect. No stress, no lifting, and virtually no men. When the job was done, she could walk away without feeling like she abandoned them. She was only needed for another month at the most. She would have her insurance check by then and leave town.
Reggie was off today and a sundress sounded more comfortable than maternity pants. She took her time strolling home. A horn honked as she passed the park. Hoping it would be a co-worker was too much to ask for. It was Ben. Shit. She dropped her bag to the front of her stomach and smiled. If she was nice to him, he’d go away. Right?
Climbing out of his truck, he walked over to her. He didn’t look like he was particularly happy to see her. “Hi, Reg.”
“Hi, Ben. You look nice.” He was in a t-shirt and jeans. You couldn’t come up with something else?
“Uh, thanks?” He looked at her and his head tilted a little. “You’re looking pretty radiant yourself.”
“Pfft…this old dress?”
“You have a whole new wardrobe, Reggie. You can’t get away with that line. I can’t put my finger on it but you look…different.”
“It’s been a while, Ben.”
“Yeah it has. I thought you’d want to come visit Derf.”
“I haven’t been able to. I do miss him horribly.”
“Your car broken down?”
“No, I like to walk to the market. It’s really a nice stroll.”
“I’ll walk with you. It would be nice to catch up.” He reached for her bag.
“Really, Ben. I’ve got it.” She held on to it tight.
~*~
“You are one stubborn broad,” he said as he let go. She had let go at the same time and the bag hit the ground. “I’ll get it.” Ben bent down, stuffed everything back in the bag and went to stand. His face was eye level with her belly. He hesitated for a second before standing up. Her eyes were watery; he didn’t understand. A breeze brought the dress tight to her stomach. There was no mistaking what he thought he saw when he was crouched down.
“You’re pregnant?” he said, louder than he intended. “How are you pregnant?”
“I think you know how, Ben.” Her lip quivered and she turned to walk away.
“Oh no, you don’t, miss cold-as-ice. I see. You just didn’t want anything to do with me. Who’s the…” She bit her bottom lip. He knew her expressions better than he knew his own. He looked at the size of her stomach and stepped closer. He put his hand on it. “It’s mine, isn’t it?”
“No.” She swallowed hard and tried to avoid his eyes.
“You’re lying, Reggie.” He pulled her toward his truck. “Get in.”
“No.” She pulled herself free of his hold. He bent down, picked her up and put her in the truck. “Stay put!” he threatened with a pointed finger. She listened.
He walked around and climbed in, looking over at her briefly before closing his door. “How long have you known?”
“Since the day you drove me in to the doctor.”
“Dammit! That was over two months ago. How far along are you?”
“Four months.”
“Four months? How could you not tell me, Reggie? Why?”
“Because you hate me!” she screamed.
Yup. That’s what she thinks all right. I did a great job of that. “I don’t hate you, Reg.” He spoke in a much softer tone than he had been using with her up to that point.
“Right,” she mumbled.
He started the truck and drove back to his house. He parked the truck by the porch and walked around to help her down. “Visit Derf first, then we need to talk.”
Ben enjoyed watching the excitement from both of them. It was obvious the kitten remembered her. When Derf finally got his fill of loving several minutes later, he picked up a toy mouse and ran away. Ben held her hand as they sat on the couch together.
“How is it you’re pregnant? I thought you couldn’t get pregnant, Reggie.”
“I didn’t think I could. I was always told I’d never be able to get pregnant. I’ve hardly ever…you know…that time of the month, since I was eighteen. When I did kind of start again a little, they said there was still no way I’d ever get pregnant. I swear I didn’t think I could get pregnant, Ben. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? You think I’m upset?”
“Aren’t you?” Her lips trembled as she spoke.
He threw his head back on the couch and let out a grunt in frustration. “I’m not upset, Reggie, not about this. I’m only upset you didn’t tell me two months ago.”
“What about your ‘no chance of a whoops’ comment that first time?”
“I was just trying to sound responsible. I wanted you from the second I laid eyes on you. I wouldn’t have cared if you got pregnant that night.”
“I think I did,” she said, softly.
“Have you told Troy and Sabrina?”
“No. I couldn’t.”
“They call me asking about you. Bri’s really been on me about dragging you back over here.”
“I haven’t told them, Ben. Honest.”
“I believe you. I don’t think they could hold that from me if they knew.” He held her hand. “Why wouldn’t you tell me, baby.” Baby. All his emotions for her were flooding back. He longed to pull her close, to let her know he was there, that he wasn’t going to let her go ever again. He wanted to keep the promise he had made months ago on the four-wheeler. I’m not letting you go.
“You couldn’t stand to be in the same room with me, Ben. Why would I think you wanted
a child with me?”
“I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with you because I can’t be near you and not want to rip your clothes off and have my way with you.” He stood up. “You’re so gorgeous and perfect and goddamn cute when your pissed.” He went back to her side. “I want you, Reggie. I want you so bad I can’t stand it.”
“What are you talking about? You hate me. You hate me for everything I’ve said. You hate that I couldn’t get over my husband dying. You never said it, but I know you hated that I could never let you in my house. I couldn’t, Ben. It wasn’t that I was hung up on him then. To me it was Van’s house. I hated getting insurance money for him dying. I wanted you to come in, I really did. I just couldn’t.” She dropped her chin to her chest. “You think I’m in love with one of my best friends. You—”
He stopped her combination talking and crying with a hard kiss then leaned back and stared into her eyes. “I love you, Reggie. I’ve been in love with you since the day we met. I don’t hate you.”
“You were so mad at me the day I came home…the day of the fire. I didn’t know why you even bothered to save my life when you hated me so much. You cared less about being called a hero. I thought you were sorry you saved my life.”
“I didn’t like being called a hero, is all. I’m not that caliber. Van and Troy are that caliber; I’m nobody. I wanted to save the woman I loved and if I couldn’t save you, I wanted to die trying.” He held her face in his hands. “I don’t hate you, Reggie.” He leaned in and gave her a softer, slower kiss. His mouth covered hers and she welcomed his tongue greedily. A moan escaped her throat and she relaxed backward into the corner of the couch. He eased himself closer to her, mindful of her stomach.
They kissed like they were trying to make up for all the lost days at one time. It seemed like an eternity before they quit. Ben stopped only briefly, looking into her face and kissed her again. He put his hand to her breast then leaned back.
“Wow.” She looked up at him dreamily, not wanting the kiss to be over. “Think the kid will share these with me?” She nodded and pulled his face back to hers. They shared another long kiss. This time, he ran his hands across her stomach over and over. He suddenly jumped back. “What was that?”
