by Joan Hohl
“Oh, yes, of course.” Beth waved her hand to indicate the second floor. “There’s a mobile phone in Dirk’s room, across the hall from you.” Just as Tina was gritting her molars, Beth continued, “You can take it into your own room, of course.”
Though Tina dreaded having to enter Dirk’s bedroom, she did so boldly; after all, it was her house, she assured herself bracingly. The pep talk was not necessary, however, as the room held not a trace of his person or things.
Paul Rambeau answered the phone in the shop on the third ring, which immediately set Tina to wondering where their receptionist was.
“The great Rambeau answering the phone?” Tina asked. “What will people say?”
“People better keep their sayings to themselves,” Paul retorted. “Except you, of course. But then, you’re not people, you be the boss.”
“And I think you be a trifle strange.” Tina laughed.
“I can’t call to mind a single living soul who’d refute that statement.” Paul joined in on Tina’s laughter. “What can I do for you, Ms. Employer?”
“Keep your mouth shut for starters.” Though mild, Tina’s voice conveyed her displeasure.
“Hit me with that again, my pet, you missed the bull’s-eye entirely.” Paul’s bafflement was genuine. “What am I supposed to have done wrong?”
“I distinctly remember asking you not to tell anyone—like in not a soul—where I was going,” Tina said carefully.
There was a pause, then, “And I distinctly remember following your instructions to the letter,” Paul shot back. “Which, come to think of it, hasn’t been extremely difficult, as there’s only been one call to that effect.”
“So, how did he know where to find me?”
“The banker? How the hell should I know?” Paul’s tone drew a clear picture of his frown for Tina. “Are you telling me he did find you?”
Tina relaxed at the note of sincerity in his voice; she’d hated the idea of Paul’s betraying her. “He arrived here mere hours after I did.”
“No sh—kidding!” Paul laughed. “That son of a—gun!”
Her sentiments exactly. Tina smiled wryly. Aloud, she probed, “You didn’t give him a hint?”
“Honey, I wouldn’t give him the time of day,” Paul scolded. “You know that.”
“I’m sorry, Paul,” Tina apologized contritely. “Knowing him, I thought he’d strong-armed you into confessing.”
“Over the phone?” Paul laughed. “I’d pay hard-earned money to see that trick!”
Don’t be so glib, Tina advised silently, Dirk could probably do it. “Everything going all right there?” She changed the subject. “No problems or anything? Like Janise quitting, maybe?”
“I chased Janise out for a latte for me.” Paul smacked his lips loudly. “I’m a sucker for that stuff. And yes, everything’s perking along as usual here.” His voice lowered with concern. “Will you loosen up, beautiful? You needed this break. Enjoy it. I’ll hold down the fort.”
For several moments after she’d ended the conversation, Tina sat staring at the phone. How would she have ever gotten through the last year without Paul’s concern and affection? She wondered, rising slowly. Come to that, she thought, Paul had been the only undemanding constant in her life ever since she’d hired him.
Paul deserves a raise, Tina decided, leaving the room. And I’m going to give him one—five minutes after I shake Dirk’s dust from my boots!
Tina filled the hours of the day by running errands for Beth, a pleasant chore, since she did the running seated inside Paul’s car. After consuming another of Beth’s delicious dinners, she and Beth retired to the living room.
“I wonder what happened to my collection of books?” Tina mused aloud, frowning as she glanced around the room.
“Everything of yours is here, dear.” Beth looked up from her knitting. “Stored up on the third floor.”
Tina snapped at the idea of something to do. “I think I’ll go investigate,” she said, uncurling her legs and rising.
“You’ll need the key, the storeroom is always kept locked.” Beth smiled at her. “Dirk’s orders. The key’s in the cellar way, hanging on a nail.”
After retrieving the key, Tina ran up the stairs to the third floor, which consisted of one large room. Unlocking the door, she pushed it open, then groped for the wall switch. The room sprang to life and a soft, shocked “Oh” whispered through Tina’s lips.
Beth had not been exaggerating. Everything of Tina’s was in the room, not boxed and shoved out of the way, but neatly arranged, exactly as it all had been in her room on the floor below when she’d left the house for the last time.
Transfixed, Tina’s startled gaze roamed over the room as she blinked furiously against a rush of tears. All her furniture was there, placed as closely as possible to the way it had always been, as were her books and the little china pieces she’d collected as a teenager.
But the object that riveted Tina’s attention was the single-sized canopy bed, looking exactly as it had years ago, the ruffled canopy crisply laundered, the matching spread smoothed over the mattress.
Biting her lip, Tina stared at the bed, unable to move as memory washed over her, flooding her senses. Five years ago, she had lost—no given—her virginity on that very bed. The recipient of her gift had used it and then thrown it back at her, tarnished forever. The recipient of her gift had been her hero from the first time she had seen him at age five. The recipient of her gift had been Dirk.
Spinning on her heel, Tina rushed down the stairs as though the room were possessed by demons, when, in truth, it was her own mind that was possessed. Crying freely, she entered her room and threw herself into the wicker chair by the window, her brain whirling with images she could no longer keep at bay.
* * *
Chapter 5
Tina had been curled up in a chair that afternoon five years before too. She had also been crying. The tears were of loss for her only remaining parent, her father. Although Tina had known that her father had never recovered from the death of his wife two years before, she hadn’t dreamed that he’d simply work himself to death in his grief. Yet that was precisely what George Holden had done. At the age of nineteen, Tina had buried her father.
Friends had been kind, and Tina truly appreciated their kindness, but there was an emptiness, an ache deep inside, that seemed to be tearing her apart. And Dirk, her champion, her dearest friend, her secret love, was thousands of miles away in Germany. Dirk had teasingly kissed her good-bye less than a month earlier when she’d returned to the college she was attending in North Jersey; Tina’s childhood love knew nothing of the secret she held close to her heart.
The late September afternoon back then was dark with angry storm clouds. The window was awash with the heavy flow of rain, as if the pane of glass were weeping with the pale face in its reflection. So deep into her misery was Tina that she didn’t even hear the first light tap at her door. The only reason she noticed the second tap was that it was accompanied by the sound of a voice—the most beloved voice in the world to Tina now that both her parents were gone. Afraid to believe her sense of hearing, her head spun toward the door even as it opened.
“Tina.”
Sounding as though the one word hurt him inside, Dirk closed the door quietly and strode across the room to lift her gently out of the chair and into his arms.
After being strong for three days, Tina fell apart at Dirk’s touch.
“Dirk.” She sobbed against his chest. “He’s dead. Daddy’s dead. And I wasn’t even here. He wouldn’t let them send for me until it was too late. Oh, Dirk. Daddy’s dead!”
“I know, honey, I know.” Dirk’s voice had an unfamiliar gravelly sound. “I came as soon as I heard.” For a moment, his body tensed. “Dammit, they should have notified me. I should have been here with you!”
Dirk’s concern, his gentle embrace, set the tears flowing again, and Tina cried like a lost child, her arms clasped around his waist, her tears wett
ing his shirt.
Turning carefully, Dirk sank into the chair, drawing Tina onto his lap. “Cry, honey,” he murmured into her hair as his hands stroked her arms and back. “Cry it all out. I’ll cry with you.” And he did. Tina knew because she could feel the warm tears as they dropped off his face onto her cheek.
The afternoon waned as Dirk sat holding Tina securely against his strength, stroking her, rocking her, murmuring to her. Even after Tina had stopped crying, and then sniffing, he held her, brushing his lips over her temple, crooning a wordless song of sympathy. The change came to both of them at the same time, innocently, naturally.
Seeking more of Dirk’s warmth and strength, Tina curled into him, raising her face as he lowered his to murmur his empathy. Their lips brushed, parted, brushed again ... then clung.
“No.” The whispered protest came from deep inside Dirk’s throat, a protest against himself, not Tina. Slowly, reluctantly, he drew his mouth from hers. “Tina ... honey, I—Her lips burning with a strange but pleasant sting, Tina silenced Dirk’s plea for reason with her mouth, her soft gasp of delight mingling with his sigh.
Reacting instinctively, Tina parted her lips, thrilling to the new and wonderful sensations radiating through her body from the sudden hard pressure of Dirk’s mouth. A soft, melting moan slipped from her at the first, tentative touch of the tip of his tongue as it slid along her lower lip, igniting an overwhelming need deep within her body.
Her hands groping unsurely, Tina found the strong, taut column of his neck, and then her fingers speared into his burnished hair, the tips kneading his scalp, urging him closer still.
“Honey, I shouldn’t,” Dirk groaned, sliding his mouth from hers. “You’re so very young, so very ... oh, God, I want you so!” This last as Tina sent her tongue gliding along his lip in an action reflecting his.
Their mouths touched again, then fused, short circuiting the wires connecting mind to reason. In an instant the kiss went from sweet to wild. Set free of restraint, Dirk’s tongue scoured the honey-coated recesses of Tina’s mouth, his teeth nipped hungrily at her lips, and his hands moved with restless abandon over her shoulders and down her back.
Within seconds the storm raging inside Tina was far more spectacular than the one flinging rain against the window. Consumed by a molten heat unlike anything she’d ever experienced before, her hands moved frantically over Dirk’s chest and arms, propelled by a driving need to explore him everywhere.
His mouth locked to the sweetness of hers, Dirk deepened the kiss, teaching her the sensuously erotic love play of dueling tongues. Stroking, thrusting, his tongue ripped the fabric of Tina’s senses as devastatingly as the lightning outside rent the black clouds.
“Tina!” Dirk’s voice was thick, a strangled cry of pain. “Sweet, love, help me. Stop me—I can’t stop myself!” Even as he pleaded for her intervention, his mouth took hers again, and one strong, gentle hand curved over her breast, cupping it possessively.
The effect of Dirk’s stroking fingers on her breast was like a torch to tinder, setting off a blaze that ran like wildfire throughout Tina’s entire body. Reality drowned in the rising tide of first passion, and Tina blindly followed the lead of emotions out of control.
Her fingers trembling with the need to touch him, Tina fumbled at the buttons on his white shirt until, with a sigh of pleasure she found the warm skin beneath the silky material. The touch of Tina’s fingers to his bared chest shattered the last of Dirk’s reserve.
A growl-like sound grating in his throat. Dirk gathered Tina into his arms and stood up to carry her to the narrow canopy bed. Beside the bed he let her go, to slide down the length of his taut, aroused body as if in warning.
“You can still stop me, love, if you want to.” His warm breath feathered her ear, sending a shiver creeping enticingly down her spine. Feeling her response, Dirk groaned in defeat. “I’ll try not to hurt you, love. I’d rather be tortured than hurt you.”
Gently, tenderly, exquisitely, Dirk removed the barrier of clothing that separated their yearning bodies. When, at last, they stood before each other, naked, Dirk’s adoring gaze worshipped the budding perfection of Tina’s body.
“You’re so very beautiful,” he breathed raggedly. “As beautiful as I always knew you would be.” Not making the slightest move toward her, he held out his arms. “Come to me, love ... if you still want to.”
Tina didn’t hesitate. Her sherry eyes soft and glowing with love, she stepped into his arms, wrapping her arms around his slim waist possessively, sensuously gliding her body against his until her curves fitted perfectly his angular shape.
The move from standing beside the bed to lying on the bed was made smoothly, effortlessly, and for Tina, excitingly. The feel of Dirk’s warm, naked skin sliding along hers set off tiny explosions at her nerve endings, demolishing the last of her inhibitions.
Whimpering a siren song that needed no lyrics, Tina flowed like satin under the tightened muscles of Dirk’s body, her senses absorbing, flaring to the hoarse, gritty sound of his voice.
“Slowly, love, slowly.” His lips roamed over her face to her neck, then down, down. His tongue bathed the wildly fluttering pulse in her throat before leaving a moist trail to the tip of her breast. When his lips closed over that quivering tip, Tina cried out in delight at her first encounter with the promise of ecstasy.
“You’re so satiny soft here”—his finger stroked the curve of her breast—”and so excitingly hard here.” His teeth raked the tight nipple with gentle savagery. “I want to kiss you, and bite you, and slide my tongue over every inch of you.” And as he whispered his desire, he carried out his designs, tantalizing her, driving her deeper into love madness with the biting kisses and teasing tongue he sent on a languid exploration from her breasts to the soles of her feet.
And all the while Dirk paid homage to the perfection of Tina’s long, satiny body with his hands and mouth, he adored her verbally in a voice that spoke of a desire long repressed.
“I’ve dreamed—been afraid to dream—of doing this since the summer you were sixteen.” The ragged sound of his voice fanned the flames roaring through Tina. “When I went home the fall before, you were still a twittering, gawky girl. Then when I came back the next year, I found an emerging young woman,”
“Oh, Dirk. Yes!” Tina’s gasped response was not in answer to his huskily murmured statement, but to the melting sensation of his teeth sinking gently into the soft inner flesh of her thigh. Writhing beneath his love bites, she was beyond coherent articulation.
“How many nights!” Dirk’s groan misted her fine skin with his sweet breath. “God, love, the nights were hell since that summer ... every night since then!”
Completely lost to reason’s cautioning call, Tina filled her hands with the silky strands of his hair, shivering to the feel of it sliding along the sensitized skin between her fingers.
“I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you.” The voice was feminine, and young ... but certain.
“I know, love.” Dirk’s restless hands molded her hips. “I’ve been your brother, protector, best friend.” Tina could feel the motion of his chest against her legs as he drew a calming breath deep into his lungs. When he spoke again it was as if the words were torn from his throat. “Now I must be your lover.”
“Yes.” Tina’s response drew a shudder from Dirk. “Oh, yes, please!”
The entreaty in Tina’s voice drew his long, sinewy body up the length of hers. Finding her mouth, he drank deeply of her passion, drawing it into himself with the searing brand of his hardened, hungry tongue.
“Now I know why your hair is such a deep red,” he murmured into her mouth. “You’re a living flame, my Tina.” Taking infinite care, Dirk joined their bodies, absorbing her moment of discomfort with his own strength, soothing her with stroking hands and beguiling whispers.
“There will be no more pain now, love.” His body moved against hers gently. “Trust me, my Tina.”
Tina’
s fingers flexed, nails biting into the smooth, vibrant skin of his shoulders. Her action was all the reply Dirk required. The motion of his body increasing, he lowered his face to hers.
“Burn for me, my flame.” The lure of his enticing whisper drew Tina into harmony with his rhythm.
Her eyes closed to savor the rush of torturous pleasure sweeping through her in ever-powerful waves, Tina heard and responded to the urgency in Dirk’s voice.
“Yes. Yes, love. Beautiful. Perfect. Now!”
“Now!” The five-year-old echo of Dirk’s strained cry reverberated inside Tina’s mind, causing quakes throughout her body. Caught up in the memory of that long-ago afternoon, she was beyond awareness of the here and now. Her body trembling with the need for one man’s touch, she covered her face with her shaking hands and sobbed her despair into the silence of the room.
“I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you.” The sound of her own voice, like the scream of an animal in agonizing pain, brought reality into sharp focus. Exhausted, yet shimmering with the first real flow of life she’d felt in five years, Tina bared her soul... to herself.
“I will always love him.”
The insistent trill of a ringing telephone later drew Tina from a shallow slumber. Prying her swollen eyes open, she frowned with the effort of remembering exactly when and how she’d gotten into bed. She lay frowning long after the phone stopped ringing.
* * * *
A deep crease connecting his eyebrows over the bridge of his nose, Dirk listened impatiently to his caller for several minutes before rudely interrupting.
“Dammit, Derek! I told you to reschedule that appointment! Now do it!” Not bothering to wait for another protest from his usually dependable assistant, Dirk went on ruthlessly. “I’m leaving. Not for the rest of the day. Not for the rest of the week. But until I feel like returning. Do you read me?”
“But, Dirk! What can I possibly tell—” That was all the time Dirk allotted Derek Saunders, his very ambitious, very competent second-in-command.
