I’m at the airport when I get a text message from Carter.
Carter: Where are you? I shouldn’t have let you leave.
I don’t know if I should respond. We obviously want different things. I thought I’d be okay without marriage, but I’m starting to realize I’m sacrificing who I am for him. In his words, for a relationship that’s barely started.
Me: I’m at the airport.
Carter: Meet me back at my house. Please.
Damn it. Fat tears roll down my face as I type out my response hoping that I’m not putting myself in line for another heartbreak.
Me: Okay.
Chapter 12
It may be only a couple hours since I’ve seen Carter last, but nervous butterflies take up residence in my stomach as the taxi pulls onto his street. After paying the driver, I grab my bags and make the short walk up to the front door. After a few knocks with no response, I decide to walk in.
The house is dark except for the dim glow of candles throughout the entry hall of the house. The uncertainty turns into excitement knowing Carter did this for me.
Following the trail of candles, they lead me to the open back doors and out onto the beach. This is like a fairytale, more than anything I could have pictured Carter doing. It’s so romantic it has me wanting to find him, so he can tell me everything’s okay.
But when I find Carter slumped in an Adirondack chair, my stomach sinks.
As I approach, his head pops up and looks towards me. For a second, he lets uncertainty show until he masks it. He places a smile on his face then approaches me.
This whole situation is throwing red flags my way. I have a gut feeling something’s about to happen that could make or break us. Carter quickly grabs my hands and pulls me a little farther down the beach.
“Thank you for coming back and agreeing to talk to me, Lex. I’m really sorry for how I reacted.”
“It’s okay.” It’s anything but, I don’t know why I’m saying it’s okay? Especially since his voice sounds robotic, so unlike the man I’ve grown to love.
“It’s just this…” He gestures towards my stomach. “Is a lot to take in.”
“The baby.”
“Huh?”
“It’s not a this, it’s a baby.”
“Right, right.” He runs his hand through his hair. “I know I said some hurtful things. This relationship may have just started, but it means something to me.”
“It means a lot to me too.” I smile shyly thinking we’re finally getting somewhere.
“You told me about…the baby.” He smiles. “I think it’s only right to do this.” He drops to one knee. I think I gasp, but I can’t be sure before he says, “Lex, since we’re having a baby, it’s only fair I make an honest woman out of you.”
I stare at him for a few minutes not knowing how to react. Have I had visions of this man on bended knee in front of me? Of course, I fell in love with him for a reason. Because I saw a future. The baby’s pressuring him into this, and I won’t have it.
“Say something, babe,” Carter nervously laughs.
“No.” I take a step back, and the hand that’s holding mine drops to Carter’s side.
“What?”
“No. I’m not going to marry you just because we’re having a baby.”
“Why not? You said you loved me.”
“Don’t you dare turn this into that. I do, I’m so in love with you Carter, but I refuse to back you into a corner. You said a few hours ago you didn’t want to be a dad, never saw yourself following that path. Yet now, you’re ready to strap on a baby carrier and march me down the aisle?”
“I’m sure by the time the baby is here I’ll get used to the idea.”
“And work?” I didn’t like that comment, but I’ll let it slide for now.
“What about it? It’s how I make a living, how I’ll provide for you. That doesn’t have to change.”
“Christ,” I mumble then turn around unable to look at him. How have I been so blind to this relationship? Was I so enamored by this man that when he told me he didn’t want to get married, I threw what I wanted out the window? We never had the family talk, but God knows how I would have reacted to that. Would I have given in and gave up my dreams of becoming a mother?
“What is this, Carter? You don’t want to get married.”
“Yeah, but you do. I can handle it.”
“I don’t want you to handle it. It’s not fair to me, and it’s also not fair to you. What if I say yes?”
“Then we’d get married.”
“Yeah, but where would we live? Where would I have the baby? I could see myself moving out here, but you said you’re barely here when you’re filming. I’d be all by myself with a new baby waiting for you to come home for the little time you’re actually here that month.”
“What do you want from me, Lex? I’m giving you what you want.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. This isn’t what I want and it sure as hell isn’t what you want.”
“Okay, maybe. The guys convinced me this was the best way.”
“Really? Andy and Benji said you should propose to me?”
“Yeah, give you something you want, show you I care. Plus, the whole world knows I’m gonna be a dad now.”
So that’s the main force behind the proposal. Ouch.
“What happens if the baby gets here and you realize you made a mistake and you don’t want to be involved?”
“I don’t know.” He looks at the ground for the first time pondering the thought.
I walk up to Carter knowing what I have to do but finding it so incredibly hard to find the words.
“You don’t want this,” I whisper.
“I can try.”
“I love you too much to make you. I think…” I look away towards the ocean. “I think we need some time apart. Time to figure out what we want out of life.”
“You’re keeping the baby?”
“It was never an option not to.”
He nods his head in understanding and holds my gaze. “I never meant for it to end like this Lex.”
“I didn’t end it. You just did. I’m sure you’ll think of a way to swing this to the media.” I wipe a stray tear from below my eye and walk back towards the house and straight through the front door. My bags are still on the front steps, and I quickly call for another cab. Luckily my flights still two hours away so I didn’t buy the ticket for nothing.
The part about this whole situation that kills me are his words. I never meant for it to end like this. I didn’t want it to end. We could have gone our separate ways to think on things by ourselves. Get some perspective. He was the one that squashed our relationship.
Crushed my world.
Chapter 13
Three Years Later
The sound of the waves crashing on the shore has always calmed me. It’s a sound I grew up with, and I always find myself with the windows open while I sleep. Sitting on the swing in my backyard, watching the sunrise in its gorgeous oranges and pinks is something I try to catch at least once a week to remind me how beautiful life can be.
Life can be tough, but sometimes you can take what’s thrown at you and turn it into something beautiful.
“Mama.” The baby monitor sitting to my right plays the sounds of my little girl making me smile. I know I have a few more minutes to soak up my favorite time of the day before I snuggle with my favorite person in the world.
After a few more sips of my coffee, I get up and walk back into the house. I rinse out my mug then head upstairs to get my now fully awake, babbling girl.
“Good morning, Sweet Pea. Did you have sweet dreams?” I question my smiling baby girl. She stands up in her crib and reaches her arms up for me asking for pancakes.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” I laugh.
After a fresh diaper, we head downstairs for our breakfast. It’s Saturday, beach day. Since Hazel was old enough to go to the beach, we’ve had a standing date to do nothing but soak up the su
n and take a dip in the ocean. She loves it as much as I do and thankfully looks forward to Saturday’s.
“Alright, why don’t you pick out your bathing suit while I pack up the rest of our beach bag,” I say an hour later trying to finish packing what we need for the day.
She runs out of the room laughing all the way to her room. A few minutes later she comes back with her Minnie Mouse bathing suit in hand, and I laugh when I see she’s stripped out of all her clothes.
“I think you’re excited, baby,” I laugh and get her dressed. Soon enough, we’re getting into my car and heading down through town. We could go to our beach, the one we live on, but there’s something about being with other people, and Hazel loves playing with other little kids we run into.
We spend the day building sand castles, running around in the water and napping under the umbrella. It’s the perfect day, and I’m not at all surprised when Hazel passes out on the car ride home. If I weren’t driving, I’d join her.
As I pass through town, I wave to the few people I recognize. I’m exhausted, and I can’t help thinking of Carter when I see a happy little family that I stop to let cross the street. Life’s been challenging since I’ve had Hazel. I don’t regret her for a second but being a single mom doesn’t exactly leave a lot of me time. I’d love nothing more than to get home and lie on the couch, vegging out in front of the TV. Have someone to help shoulder the work raising a two-year-old requires.
As quickly as he appears in my head, I push Carter out of it. He doesn’t deserve to be occupying my thoughts any more than he has. We’ve had a wonderful day, and there’s no need for him to ruin it, especially since he isn’t here.
When I get home, Hazel wakes up and wants to play in her toy room while I make dinner.
Sure, life is hard, but she makes it worth it. That little girl means more to me than anything in the world and pushes me to be a better person. Even though she doesn’t have her dad in her life, she has a kick-ass mom who would do anything and everything for her.
It’s just her and me against the world.
Chapter 14
After a busy week, I was looking forward to the weekend. We didn’t make it to the beach yesterday because it was raining, so today I plan on heading to my mom’s early to let Hazel swim around in the pool. We usually spend a good chunk of the day at my mom and stepdads because my usual Sunday dinners turned into lunches and sometimes dinner since I’ve had Hazel. My mom and stepdad love Hazel to pieces and love spending the day with her.
Today’s special for another specific reason as well. It’s Sunday, chocolate chip pancake day. I had to name a day otherwise she’d eat them all the time. It makes it more special, and Sundays are special for us.
“Hazel baby, do you want to go see mamaw and pap pap later?” I’m talking about my mom and stepdad George. For some reason, Nana and Papa morphed into something with a lot more pizzazz. I’d expect nothing less from my sassy little spitfire.
“Yeah!” she cheers biting into her first chocolate filled pancake. I laugh and grab my own plate. We take our time with breakfast then move on to getting dressed for the day.
Soon, we’re driving in the car towards my store. I try not to work on the weekend, a self-imposed rule I’ve strictly followed since Hazel was born, but I got a call saying someone was making a delivery and wouldn’t allow anyone’s signature but my own.
In other words, someone’s being a complete pain in my ass. I can’t think of what it could be, or what company would be delivering on a Sunday? At least it’s on the way to my mom’s, so it’s not like I’m going out of my way.
We pull into the parking lot, and I feel the same sense of pride I do every time I see the store sign. LEX. I finally opened my own store a little over a year ago, and its success has made its way into quite a few high-profile magazines. One wonderfully placed blog article about how my store is the up and coming place to be on trend, and I’ve had no shortage of women in need of spending their money.
Monique, my manager when I’m not at the store, runs out with an apology written all over her beautiful face. She’s a gorgeous woman with glowing mocha skin and hair so large you can’t help but be jealous.
“I’m so sorry, the jackass won’t back down. Let me sit with her in the car, so you don’t have to deal with the hassle of taking Hazel out.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”
When I walk into the store, a man has his elbow propped up on a glass display case and a small package in his arms. His massive, muscular arms that flex whenever he shifts the tiniest bit looking like he could crush the package at any moment.
I shake my head snapping myself out of ogling the arm porn and approach him.
“Excuse me, I’m Lexi Kile. You need my signature?”
The delivery guy slowly turns towards me, and I can’t help the laughter from bubbling up from my throat. “Really Nate, you work deliveries now?”
“Only when they’re for you.” A blush creeps up my neck and when he notices a smile spreads across his plump lips.
“Thanks,” I mumble. “Who’s this from anyway? I didn’t think there was anything set to be delivered today.”
“Oh, my buddy mentioned needing something dropped off, and I told him it was on my way.”
“Would this be from Tuck?”
“It just so happens it is.”
“I didn’t have to come in, you could have left it with Monique… or it could have been brought over tomorrow like I discussed with him.”
I’ve already had Nate’s uncle trying to get us together for a couple years now. On top of that, our mutual friend has been trying to get us together for over six months. He’s been relentlessly inviting us to the same parties and events. I’ve had to turn him down numerous times telling myself I didn’t have time with running a business and taking care of Hazel. Stuff like this, what he pulled just now, it’s making it harder and harder to say no.
I haven’t dated since Carter, and I don’t intend to anytime soon. At least that’s what I convince myself.
“Then I wouldn’t get to see your gorgeous face. I told you I’m not going away, you might as well agree to go out with me already.”
“And I’ll say again, that you’re wasting your time. Aren’t there any other available women in town you can bother?” I smile letting him know I don’t mean it as an insult. I suppose if I didn’t play into his game he’d go away, but harmless flirting with Nate makes me feel like more than a mom sometimes.
Nate stares at me for a moment, and I watch him back. He’s extremely handsome. If I wasn’t so jaded, I might give him a chance. Going out on a date sounds kind of nice, but ultimately dates lead to dating, which ends up at love. Something I’ll never do again.
“It was nice seeing you, Nate.” I smile and head for the exit.
“It’s always a pleasure seeing you Lex.”
I turn around and give him a shy smile. If life were different, I think I’d actually enjoy dating Nate. He goes above and beyond, and I always secretly hope my rejections won’t stop him from trying. I let that thought linger for a second until I say goodbye to Monique.
“That’s Nate.” I look around to make sure he’s not behind me.
“Oh, the Nate. He’s handsome Lex. You’re crazy you know, right?”
“Don’t remind me.” I get in my car and hear Hazel singing to herself in the backseat.
“Mama! Monique’s silly. She takes her thumb off,” Hazel says from the backseat and starts laughing.
“She is very silly,” I confirm. “Sorry, baby, let’s get to mamaw’s.” I throw the car in reverse but don’t take my foot off the brake when I notice Nate holding the door open for Monique.
He has manners too. That’s a plus. Listen to me, mentally checking off a metaphorical box. Put your checklist away Lex.
I’m surprised when he goes to walk by my car and notices me then Hazel. He ducks down a little and taps on her window causing her to look up smiling. We’ve run into Nate a few t
imes in town, enough for Hazel to recognize him. Like I said, he’s relentless in his pursuit. Nate is always sweet with Hazel, and before he rises to his feet, he gives me a quick wave and taps the roof of my car before walking towards his truck.
“Mama! He’s silly too,” Hazel says pointing out her window.
“I know baby.” She giggles and starts kicking her feet in excitement.
Having Hazel gave me a new outlook on life. She sees nothing but good in the world and makes me appreciate the little things when she gets so giddy over something so small as a man saying hi through her window.
A short ten minutes later, we’re pulling up the driveway to my mom’s house. Hazel takes up her favorite leg kicking excitement at seeing pap pap standing in the driveway grabbing his newspaper.
Before I have the car in park, George opens the door and has Hazel out of her car seat lickety-split and into his arms. He’s cooing at her and laughing when she grabs his beard as I come around the car.
“Morning, George.” I give him a one-armed hug around Hazel.
“Morning, sweetie. You two are a sight for sore eyes this morning.”
“Mom in a mood?” I cringe.
“Something about one of her friend’s daughter’s getting married.” He rolls his eyes, and I have to hold back my own. Having a baby hasn’t gotten mom off my back at all about the whole marriage thing. If anything, she should be grateful she got her granddaughter early. I don’t need a man, but she never listens to me.
“We’ll wave the baby in front of her face, that’s a good change of subject. She can’t yell at her granddaughter.”
“Good plan,” I state seriously.
Once we get in the house, we find my mom out on the patio enjoying a morning mimosa. I think I’ll need a few of my own after the look she gives me.
“Perfect, my unwed daughter’s here.”
My stepfather lifts Hazel in front of me, and her giggle stops my mom. “Now that’s not fair George.”
Fool Me Once Page 7
