“Carter’s like a son to us. He and Andrew have been best friends since school. It was hard to hear what he’s capable of, but family forgives. He made a mistake, and I’m glad you two are able to get along enough to eventually co-parent.”
“Thanks. I just want you to know I love Nate. He’s a big part of mine and Hazel’s life.”
“Good to hear.” She winks then turns to the dishes in the sink.
***
When we’re done cleaning, I walk outside and sit on the deck to watch Hazel with Nate and Carter. They’re running around playing with a massive ball that Nate keeps in the back of his car in case we stop at the park. Hazel’s laughing so hard she can’t see where the ball is and Carter’s chasing her around. Nate’s standing back with his hands folded across his chest watching the scene unfold.
Nate notices I’m on the stairs and gestures for me to come down with a warm smile. When I reach him, he throws his arm around my shoulders pulling me in towards him.
“God, this fucking sucks,” he huffs out a breath.
“Don’t I know it.”
“Mama!” Hazel cries with her hands up running towards me with Carter hot on her heels. She reaches up, and I pull her into my arms. Carter continues on running towards us then begins tickling Hazel on her sides.
“I told you I’d get you,” he laughs continuing to elicit giggles from her.
“She’s just as ticklish as you are Lex.” He makes a point to look over at Nate, and the smile falls from my face.
“Alright, that’s enough time outside. Let’s go in and take a nap baby girl.” I hoist her up and twist her away from Carter.
“Don’t be like that Lexi.”
“I can be any way I want Carter. All I asked for was some respect,” I growl then stomp off towards the house fully aware Nate’s not moving from his spot next to Carter.
“Hang on Lex,” Nate calls to me. I stop and when I turn around Nate jogs over to me and grabs Hazel from my arms. “I don’t think he meant anything by it, go talk to him. I’ll take her inside.”
“Do I have to?” I pout.
“Listen, nothing about this is going to be easy.” Nate kisses my forehead and carries Hazel back towards the house.
With a deep breath, I turn around to walk back to Carter but jump when I find him right behind me.
“Listen, Lex, I didn’t mean anything by the comment. Truth is, we have a past. I can’t pretend like I don’t know you or things about you. I’ll be more sensitive when it comes to Nate, but sometimes I fall back into the role of when we were together. It’s so easy, and I’ll work on it. I understand I’m not coming from a good standing, but I can’t walk around on eggshells. It’s not healthy, and Hazel will eventually notice we don’t get along.”
God, I hate when he’s right. “Fine, but you also need to realize there’s a lot you did a number on in here.” I point to my chest. “It’s not something that can go away because you say so. We need to work on our relationship, a friendship, just like you’re working on one with Hazel.”
“I understand that. I’ll make up for all the hurt I’ve caused Lex.”
“You don’t need to make up for anything, just be a good dad, and I’ll eventually get over it.”
Carter nods his head then walks by me towards the house.
“Carter.” I stop him and walk to meet him before the steps of the deck. “I’m really sorry about Benji. I know what you’re going through can’t be easy, I just want you to know I’m here.”
After another tight-lipped nod from Carter, I walk past him and into the house. Maybe I am being too hard on him? He completely annihilated my world, but if I’m truly going to have Carter in Hazel’s life, I need to learn to get over the past, but is it that easy? Can all that hurt be bottled up and forgotten?
My daughter getting to know the asshole that abandoned me over three years ago may just be my undoing.
***
The look on Carter’s face is etched into my brain the first half of our trip home. When we were in the driveway saying our goodbyes to Nate’s family, Hazel watched Nate hug his dad and say his farewell. That caused her to ask the question “what’s a dad?”
My eyes shot up to Carter, and I know it must have been hard for him to respect my wishes and not blurt out that he was her father. I always knew there’d be a day she realized she was different than the other kids only having me as the lone parent. Never did I think it’d happen in front of her actual biological father.
Not wanting to explain the mommy, daddy role in front of a driveway full of onlookers, I told her I’d explain it when we got home. Watching Carter say goodbye to Hazel was tough, I can tell he’s going to miss seeing her when he got to have access to her over the past few days.
He promised he’d see her soon then kissed her forehead. Carter took me by surprise when he stood up and pulled me into a hug whispering “thank you” and that he’d see us soon. He even went over to Nate and pulled him in for a hug. They said a few things into each other’s ears, laughed, then separated.
Nate told me he’s going to stay on top of Carter to make him the best possible dad for Hazel. It makes me love him so much more.
“She’s so lucky to be loved by so many people,” I state after a long stretch of silence.
“So many people.”
“Before I met you it was me, mom, George, and Amanda. Sometimes I wish I could see life through her eyes. To see everything untainted and vibrant in color.”
“Are you tainted?” He squeezes my hand.
“Yes and no. After Carter left me, I wasn’t myself for so long, falling into the mom role and hiding behind it. Everything I did was for her, everything I accomplished was to make our lives better. I never really gave myself the chance to be me again. So, in a way, I was tainted.”
“Was?”
“I have you to thank for untainting me.”
“I love you.”
Thankfully he doesn’t ask me to elaborate, just kisses my hand and continues driving. I’m not always great with my words, that showed when I professed my love for him at his parent's house a couple of days ago. I’m not the best at showing my emotions, and he accepts that from me, even though he always tells me what he’s thinking and how he’s feeling.
“I hope you know he wants you back,” Nate declares sometime later.
“Huh?”
“Carter, he wants you back. He basically laid down the gauntlet after I talked to him that first morning.”
“Really? Are you talking about the tickling thing? He apologized for that. It is kind of unfair for us to prosecute him for comments about the past. The truth of the situation is we did know each other, we can’t pretend we didn’t.”
“No, not that. When I talked to him alone, he asked me if I was confident in our relationship. I’ve known Carter practically my whole life, and I know he’s gunning for you. He wants the happy little family and white picket fence.”
“Too bad you’re the only one I want painting my fence.”
“Is that so? I could go for some painting right about now.” His hand lands on my thigh and starts to travel higher.
“I pain unicorns!” Hazel says from the back seat causing Nate’s hand to travel back down to my knee.
“Cock blocked by a toddler,” he mumbles under his breath so only I can hear him.
“Where the hell were you planning on getting some loving?” I laugh.
“Oh, you have it coming later, babe,” he growls sending a shiver up my spine in anticipation. I can’t wait to get home and finally have some alone time with Nate without his family being in the same house.
That has me thinking about sleepovers now. He’s only ever slept over the night of the hospital adventure, and if he thinks he’s going back to his own place tonight, I’ll tie him to my bed.
Now there's a thought.
Six painfully long hours later, we’re pulling into the driveway of my house, and I groan when I find my mom’s car in the driveway.
“K
ill me now, please.”
“Did you really think you’d sucker my mom into calling and telling her about Carter without backlash?”
“No, but I at least thought I’d have until tomorrow.” I pout my lips and jump from my seat when there’s a knock on my window.
“Lexi Kile, you get out of that car right now. Hey sweetie, mamaw missed you so much!” She coos at Hazel’s window then darts her eyes of death back to me.
“I’ll give you anything you want if you drive away right now,” I plead with Nate.
“Anything?”
“Anything.”
“Sorry babe, you have to deal with this. Do you want me to get Hazel in the house, so you can talk to her on the porch?”
“I suppose,” I sigh getting out of the car.
I’m expecting to be mauled, but when I’m free of the car, my mom pulls me into a big old mama bear hug. It’s unexpected and brings tears to my eyes. Moms really do know all the right things to do.
“Are you okay?”
I sniffle. “I’m fine.”
“That piece of dog shit, why’d he have to come back now?”
I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard my mom swear. Pulling out of her arms, I crack a smile and laugh. “Them some fighting words Mom.”
“I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.” She dabs under her eyes wiping a stray tear.
“No need. Carter knows the deal, and I’ve talked to him about how he’ll get to know Hazel. It’s going to be slow, and he’ll become her friend before we tell her the truth.”
“The girl’s two, she doesn’t have a clue of what’s going on.”
“She’s more perceptive than you think Mom.” I dive into the story of her asking about dads in Nate’s parent's driveway.
I shake my head and walk up the porch steps with her ready to tell someone about my crazy few days. We talk for a little bit then she demands Hazel come out for a girls’ dinner, no men allowed. We agree, and Nate takes off to bring his stuff home and do his laundry promising to be back later.
I somehow use a Doc McStuffins analogy to explain daddies to Hazel as my mom looks on in horror. When she asked again, it’s all I could think of. Using a kid’s TV show to explain a serious situation is gold if you ask me. She nodded her little head and went back to eating her grilled cheese.
A moment later, Hazel puts down her food and looks up at me. “I find a daddy, Mama.”
“Oh, Christ.” My mother covers her face with her hand.
“You don’t find a daddy, it can’t be someone you don’t know.”
“Nate. He be my daddy. Pap pap too,” she says making me and my mom smile at each other.
“Carter. He a good hider.”
Oh damn.
Chapter 25
When I started designing jewelry, it used to be a hobby. I’d go to a local bead store, get some wire and earrings then go to town. I think I had a pair of earrings to go with every outfit that could have been planned from my wardrobe. Then I would look up tutorials on how to make bracelets and necklaces and the rest is history.
I’ll never forget when I begged my mom to sell my pieces in her store. It started when I was nineteen, and she gave me the tiniest space on a counter. I had to pick what I wanted to show wisely, and that’s how my Willow Creek bracelets became so popular. One woman came in and raved about the daintiness and sophistication stating she absolutely had to have it. Before I knew it, she showed it to all of her friends, and I was making them on the fly to sell in the back room.
I’ve just sized the ten thousandth bracelet on an elderly woman who’s visiting Willow Creek from Ireland who couldn’t have been more thrilled with the look and feel of it. Call me crazy for keeping count, but I’m happy I did. I’ll never forget when I threw a party when I reached fifty being sold.
When Hazel was born, I started a little girls’ line of jewelry that’s been a hit. That’s what pushed me to finally open my own store, and I didn’t stop until it was exactly what I wanted. Everything in this store was handpicked by me, just like the jewelry I make.
“You’re spaced out again,” Monique sings at me.
“Sorry.” I mentally shake my head and place my newest necklace in the display case.
“Oh, that’s gorgeous,” she praises looking at the brand-new triple heart necklace I’ve created.
My more popular stuff gets mass produced once I make a few and test them out with my customers. This necklace is me, Nate and Hazel inspired. Our little unit, three hearts, one family. Nobody will know the meaning, but I will. It’s extremely personal to me, and I even questioned if I should sell it, but in the end, I love sharing a piece of myself with my customers, and I think they’ll really like it. I even made the design into a bracelet, and I can always pull that from the display to keep for myself. I have some time to think about it.
“Thanks. I was feeling inspired after our long weekend.”
“Then shouldn’t there be four hearts?” she asks.
“Ha, ha. I think three is plenty.”
I told Monique all the sordid details about our time away to meet the parents. After I was done telling her the one thing she took away from it was that I used to be involved with Carter Larue. I guess she loves his TV show.
“You didn’t have any sort of feelings when you saw him again?”
“Well, I used to be with him. Of course, I still have feelings for him, but I’m in love with Nate, Carter doesn’t compare to him.”
“How about a quiver, did anything quiver? He’s so gorgeous.”
“Hey, whose side are you on here?” I ask in mock outrage. I’m not really bothered by her crush. Carter’s extremely attractive and rocks the celebrity status.
“Yours, I can’t believe you kept this from me for so long. I mean, we work together every day, and I feel like we’ve become really close.”
“We have,” I reassure her. “I don’t talk to anyone about Carter, er… at least I didn’t.”
“I understand.”
She walks over to a customer that just came in, and I go back to my workshop. I pick up my phone and notice a text from Nate saying he’s picking me up from work soon and that my mom’s keeping Hazel overnight. He adds a little winky face, and that makes me quiver.
It’s hard to be in the moment and feel the passion when you have to be quiet with a toddler in the next room. We came back home from his parents’ house two weeks ago, so a little alone time would be nice.
True to Carter’s word, he’s called Hazel every night to say good night and has even FaceTimed with her over the phone. She’s starting to really like Carter, and it makes me happy to see her bond with him growing. He said a few days ago that he’d be seeing us soon and has been silent on his end. I don’t know what that’s all about, but I’m sure we’ll find out soon.
I can’t concentrate when I try to work on some more jewelry. All I can think about is that damn winky face. An hour later when Nate shows up, I’m ready to jump him in the middle of the store.
With my purse in tow, I grab Nate’s arm and pull him through the store.
“Can I at least get a kiss before you use me for my body?” He stops me just outside the door and pulls me towards his chest.
“Depends, will it be quick?” I cock an eyebrow.
“Never.” Then he gently places his lips on mine and what starts as slow and timid turns into hot and fiery.
“Home, now,” I pant when we pull apart.
I jump in his truck and count the houses we pass until we are parked in the driveway. Nate’s out the door and opening mine in an instant, grabbing me under my arms and lifting me. My legs wrap around him, and I connect our mouths. I don’t care if all of my neighbors are on the sidewalk with cameras, I start grinding down on his erection. Basically, I’m fucking him with our clothes on.
Nate takes two steps towards the house when we hear a throat clear.
“Just keep going, they’ll leave when we get inside.” I pull his lower lip between my
teeth causing him to groan.
We get to the front door, and I already have my keys out and ready. I manage to slide the key into the lock, turn and then apparently someone has a death wish.
“I don’t mean to break up the party…”
“You have got to be kidding me,” I whisper into Nate’s neck after I bury my face there.
“Carter, we weren’t expecting you… clearly,” Nate says sounding unamused.
“Yeah, I was trying to surprise Hazel, but now I can see she’s not here.”
“No, maybe if you called.” I know it’s the sexual frustration talking, but damn. Doesn’t he know we were in the middle of something?
“Yeah, sorry about that. I’ll be quick because you two look busy. I just bought a house, and I’m moving in, just wanted to let you know I’m here now. Permanently.”
Nate slides me to my feet and I right my clothes before turning to Carter. “Oh yeah. Congratulations. Where did you buy?”
I notice a moving truck at the house across the street. A house that was clearly not for sale anytime recently.
“Carter,” I warn.
“Funny thing, Lex, your neighbors decided to take me up on an offer and sold me their house last week.”
“What did you do?”
“Everyone has a price,” he states.
“I can’t deal with this right now, I’ll talk to you after… yeah just later.”
With that, I pull Nate into the house and slam the door shut. With his back up against the door, I rip his shirt wide open causing buttons to shoot off everywhere into the house. I begin kissing his exposed flesh and suckling on the particularly delicious spots, like the dips in his waist.
Nate’s almost in a daze and doesn’t snap out of it until I have his pants undone and my hands sliding into his briefs.
“Don’t you, don’t you want to talk about this?” he asks.
“Does it look like I want to talk about it?” I pull him from his pants as they fall to his ankles and begin jerking his length. I love having my hands on him, this one particular body part to be exact. The amount of power one woman can hold from just a shift of the wrist or slide of the tongue is amazing. As I pull him into my mouth, he calls out my name and fists my hair through his fingers.
Fool Me Once Page 14
