Usually, Jane's hackles would have raised at that sound. She had always equated it with the evil, oily chuckle of a master criminal, just before he pulled the lever on the trap door that dumped the hero into a vat of piranhas or sharks or acid or boiling oil. Or into a dark pit that went on forever.
Now, oddly, she smiled, infected with the amusement that seeped through her from her new friend. She wanted to know what the joke was.
So it was all by accident, then, our coming to Earth's dimension?
Accident. Or fate. Or perhaps your parents sent their innocent children away to protect them from unspeakable horrors. Now that you are older, wiser, trained and experienced, perhaps you should try to go home, to help them.
How could we go back, if we can't find the cracks?
Jane fought down an image of an invasion force, trickling through the cracks in the dimensions for generations, from a world that wanted to take over Earth. That wasn't possible. Was it?
Together, perhaps you can do it. Perhaps...ah, but no, that would be asking too much.
Asking what? She sat up straight, trembling slightly, positive she hovered on the edge of something life-changing.
You need a guide, my dear. And you need to gather your friends and harness all their talents, their power, the unity of their minds. That's the only way to return home, in force, to find your parents and learn the truth of your heritage, your potential. The reason why you were sent away from your homes.
Sent away. Jane shuddered. Somehow, the idea of deliberately being sent away from her family made her ache more deeply than the suspicion she had carried all her life, that she had simply been abandoned or no one noticed, no one cared when she wandered away and lost herself. I don't understand. How can needing a guide be—
If you and your friends could find me, first, my dear, then I could act as a guide across the dimensions and help you find your true home. I am quite talented myself in tracking the pathways, even when they are decades old. Alas, I am trapped here, alone, in the dark, so cold.
Why don't you go home?
As I said, this requires energy. Teamwork. And I am alone. So dreadfully alone, he added, his warmth and strength dropping away to a chill whisper.
That impression of vast darkness and emptiness and cold washed over Jane. For an instant, all her training, Reginald's lectures and her own nightmares rose up, demanding that this needed to be fought and if not destroyed, then harnessed.
Please, my dear, I know it will cost you greatly in strength, but once I am free... The voice sounded so drained and weary.
As drained and weary as Jane felt. She imagined how she would feel, lost and alone, cold and in the dark, with no one for company but voices that came from other dimensions.
I don't know if I can help you, but I'll try.
Not you alone, my dear. It would be too much for you. It might harm you. Drain you permanently. I don't want that on my conscience.
The thing is, I really don't have that many friends.
Tosh. I find that hard to believe. Someone as warm and alive and intelligent as you, with no friends?
Jane bristled at the slight emphasis the voice put on "no" friends. She had friends. Not many, but those she kept in contact with were gems. Still, she supposed she could have put a little more effort into keeping in contact with the Sanctum's other, older students. Once they graduated and moved out into the world, if she didn't have encounters with them, it was as if they no longer existed. Hadn't she hated feeling like she was always left behind? It was a two-way street, after all. She should have made an effort to keep in contact, and maybe they would have reciprocated. She certainly wouldn't be in danger of failing her new friend now, if she had more friends to call on.
We know how to get in contact with others like us...but we work alone. Far apart. There aren't enough of us to work in teams and give enough coverage, to meet all the needs.
Who says you must meet anyone's needs? Were you born to live in subjugation to the stupidity of others?
Jane caught her breath, torn and pulled between the scorn in the voice as he echoed the feelings that had driven her from Fendersburg, and the sympathy that warmed and filled her. Or was it all just her imagination? She felt so tired. The day had been too long, too draining, and even though she had escaped the stupidity in Fendersburg, there were stupid people everywhere.
What's it like in the other dimensions?
Intelligence, compassion, warmth. Minds and souls as high above the people of the world of your exile, as you are above a common beetle.
I feel like a common beetle right now, she retorted, and slouched down on the couch again. Quiet, drained laughter spilled out of her. Jane felt rather punchy. Odd, how the more she thought about it, the more tired she felt.
No, my dear. Yours is a fine and bright spirit. Full of energy. Full of warmth. You have brought change to my dark, cold prison, just in the short time we have conversed. If you and your friends could find and free me...ah, what wonders I could show you. I would lead you to the world, the dimension, where you belong. I could almost believe my exile and suffering well worth it, if we could be together, face-to-face, one day.
* * * *
Jane dreamed of falling and cold, of fire that ate through her bones and darkness that suffocated. She woke sweating and gasping, chilled almost to the point of numbness. Her head ached, as if she had strained herself with a full night of heroic maneuvers. She huddled under her blankets and pulled more out of the closets with a mental effort that frightened her, but the physical work of getting out of bed was too much. She shivered and wrapped blanket after blanket around herself, until the weight alone was enough to comfort her. When she fell asleep, she finally began to feel warm.
Morning came, with a residual chill clinging to her flesh. A hot shower didn't drive it away. Penny gave her an odd look when she came in after school and found Jane with a sweater over a sweatshirt.
"I think I'm coming down with something," Jane explained.
"Keep it away from me." The teen grinned and made a cross with her index fingers. "There's no way I'm going to miss school this week."
"The world is coming to an end. A kid who actually wants to go to school." She felt better instantly, as if the lame teasing had punctured a barrier, a film that made the day seem gray and damp, instead of brilliantly crystalline white.
Penny filled up the silence between customers, talking about the field trip her journalism class was taking to visit the offices and then the printing plant of the Plain Dealer. By dinnertime, Jane felt completely herself again. She ordered a huge meal delivered for her and Penny, with extras of everything and desserts, and gobbled it all as if she hadn't eaten since the day before. Which, when she slowed down enough to think about it, was rather strange. She had eaten an enormous breakfast, too. A whole grapefruit, three eggs, four slices of toast and half the jar of apricot preserves. Lunch had been two Godzilla burritos from Hunky & Dory's. Usually she could only eat two-thirds of one, and saved the rest for a snack.
"Are you pregnant?" Penny asked.
Jane nearly spat her mouthful of apricot smoothie across the counter.
"Why would you ask that?" she demanded, once she got the spatters cleaned up.
"You're packing it away like you're starving. And you were dragging when I first got here. And that sweatshirt..." Penny shrugged.
"What about it?"
"Could cover a lot."
"I am not pregnant. Not in a million years. Nothing in the world could convince me—" Jane sighed and carefully put down her jumbo-size paper cup.
That last disastrous date spun through her mind, reviving all the frustration and the sense of being used and abused. Feelings she thought she had exorcised and escaped by coming here to Neighborlee. What in the world was wrong with her?
"Did you see me coming?" Kurt asked as he strode through the door.
"What?" Jane just gaped stupidly at him. Had she missed out on part of a conversation?
&nbs
p; "You look pretty furious. I thought maybe you saw me coming." He shrugged and hitched one hip up onto the stool next to the counter that Penny had vacated when Jane started spattering smoothie.
"You wish." Her face burned seconds before she realized how juvenile that retort sounded. But somehow, she couldn't be angry when he grinned at her like that. Jane sighed. "Any progress on those...questions we had?"
"Nada." He glanced at Penny. "Total frustration. Thank goodness I never could resist a challenge or a mystery."
"Oh. A mystery."
His smile certainly was infectious. What was it about him that made her feel warm, and as if the sun had come out?
"Interested in going on patrol tonight?" He held out his hand. "Just for kicks?"
"Your kicks, or mine? Seems to me I'm the one who's going to do the driving."
"You need a navigator." Still that hand waited, not wavering a bit.
Jane studied it for a moment. Long enough to feel Penny watching them intently, with that knowing grin of hers growing. She resisted the urge to clasp his hand and sat back, crossing her arms at her waist. "What's in it for me?"
"How about we talk about it over dinner?"
"Better bring your credit card," Penny muttered. "She's eating for three right now."
The teen turned bright red and hurried into the storage room, muttering something about checking inventory, when both Jane and Kurt turned and stared at her. Then he glanced over the counter, at the table that sat lower than the counter, and held the remains of their dinner.
"Oh. Sorry. Guess I'm kind of late, asking you to dinner."
"We ate early." Jane gathered up wrappers and cardboard trays and didn't bother looking around before heaving all the trash into the barrel by the storage room door with a mental shove.
He shook his head. "Sorry. I don't have any right to ask, but if something weird is going on—" Despite his visible attempt at nonchalance, Jane saw his gaze drop down to her stomach.
"Penny has a really warped sense of humor, that's all. I'm low on energy and extra-hungry. End of story."
Funny, but now that Kurt had come back into the spa, she didn't feel like she had a black hole in her stomach.
"So, any more contact with your mysterious power source?" he asked, lowering his voice so Penny couldn't have heard even if she stood four feet away.
Jane opened her mouth to answer, but then stopped. Should she tell him about the Voice, and what it, he or she said? Should she keep it a secret? It bothered her that she was undecided. This was something important, beyond her personal feelings. It affected all the Gifted, not just her. Especially if this was the answer to the questions and mysteries that had plagued her, all of them, for decades.
Something cold dropped heavy and hard in her stomach, as Jane realized she wanted to keep the Voice all to herself. The secret to her identity, her heritage, her home.
What was wrong with her?
True, she had retired from the superhero business, but that didn't negate what she was, and her friendships with people who were still on duty.
She could almost hear Demetrius lecturing her on thinking beyond her own needs and hurts and desires. That would have firmed her longing to keep the Voice to herself, firmed it into a resolve. But along with echoes of Demetrius' voice, Jane had a memory glimpse of Reginald giving her that sorrowful, disappointed look, and slowly shaking his head. He always expected high things of her, continuously saying she was special, talented and wonderful. Reginald concentrated on what she owed herself, rather than on what she owed the rest of the world.
For Reginald, then.
"Jane?" Kurt reached across the counter to clasp her shoulder. "You okay?"
"Uh...thinking." Her face felt hot enough to melt candles. "Yes, I've had some contact."
"Contact? As in?" His eyes brightened and he leaned closer, resting his elbows on the display case of the counter.
"Maybe we should save that for dinner. Well, dessert, for me. Where we won't be overheard." She tipped her head in the direction of the storage room, and Penny. Jane had to hand it to the teen, staying in there and giving them plenty of time to talk. But she was only a kid and curious, and it would be unfair to tax her patience.
"Yeah, she's pretty observant, isn't she?" He straightened up and turned toward the open doorway. "Hey, Penny? Can I ask you a few questions?"
"What are you up to?" Jane stage-whispered.
"Research. We have a new talent to hunt down, remember? If it's not the same person as you sensed, we might have trouble."
"He'd never hurt anyone!" She slapped her hand over her mouth, but it was too late.
"He?" One eyebrow quirked up in question. And challenge.
"What's up?" Penny asked, emerging from the storage room.
Kurt gave her another look, promising an intense evening, no matter where they went.
"You're a pretty sharp kid, right?" He doused her in his patented knee-wobbling smile. "Do you see anything...I don't know...anything weird, going on at NCH?"
"Everything's weird. Boys between five and fourteen should be put in the basement and not allowed out until they learn not to eat with their hands." Penny rolled her eyes in disgust. "My friends at school complain about their brothers and sisters. I've got it twenty times worse!"
Jane barely paid attention to the next few things Kurt and Penny said. The revelation that had slapped her in the face dominated her thoughts.
What kind of an idiot was she, to consider herself alone all this time, when she had been plopped down in the middle of a huge family from the moment Reginald and Demetrius found her? She had a family at the Sanctum, and just like any family, she had her feuds and her favorites, her mortal enemies and her soul-mates. But Jane knew that everyone who ever studied with the Old Poops would lay down their lives to help her, if she needed it. That was just the way they had been raised, the things they believed in—just like a real family.
"A secret admirer?" Penny laughed. "Yeah, right, as if some guy out there is so in love with me, he doesn't have the guts to tell me."
"Most guys never learn to communicate," Kurt said with a shrug and a grin. "Are there any guys you can think of, a little smarter than everybody else, maybe who get picked on but never seem to get hurt? You know. Someone sets up an ambush to get back at him, and he walks right past it. Or around it. Or isn't there when you expect him."
Penny frowned, but it wasn't the "you're crazy" frown Jane expected.
Just what the heck do you think you're doing? Her head ached as she sent her mental demand to Kurt. Standing only a few feet away from him, it should have been as easy as breathing. What was wrong with her?
He didn't even blink. Was he that good at ignoring her, or didn't her words reach him?
"I've never really noticed," the girl said slowly. "There's so much going on, back there. Everybody's always doing something or coming back from somewhere. We have chores and meetings and...just normal life, I guess. Weird things? I'd have to think about it."
"Do that for me, would you?"
"Why? Are you from some gossip magazine?" She grinned at him and glanced at Jane. "What's up?"
"I haven't the foggiest," Jane said slowly.
She would have an earful for Kurt when he showed up after she closed up the spa for the night. If she bothered sticking around to wait for him. Maybe she should just go for a solo flight. Maybe his presence interfered with her reception and tracking abilities. Wouldn't that steam him, if she said so?
* * * *
What's wrong, dear?
Jane muffled a shriek and nearly knocked the sugar bowl across the room. She hadn't felt that subtle tingle in her fingertips that had warned her previous times that the Voice was about to make contact. Why hadn't she? Could she just blame it on the fog that had wrapped around her brain most of the day?
I'm just tired, that's all. Didn't sleep well last night, and the day was more draining than usual. Maybe it's the weather.
You must be more carefu
l of your strength. Stop frittering it away on inconsequential things.
Making a decent living is not inconsequential. She winced at the ache that reverberated through her head. Had she really yelled at the Voice? Why did she feel so...guilty? So much like she had when Demetrius used to scold her for "wrong thinking" when she was at school?
Why do you worry about such useless things? When you are home, in your proper place, others will concern themselves with your needs. You will be surrounded in luxury, revered and admired for all you have accomplished.
Until we figure out how to open up the cracks between dimensions, I'm going to need a place to stay and to pay the electric and gas and buy food.
Hmm. True.
Jane nearly laughed. The Voice sounded extremely disgruntled. She imagined her inter-dimensional friend hunched in his chair, scowling, looking and sounding just like Demetrius had looked and sounded when she countered his arguments.
Come to think of it, she actually missed those days of frustration and arguments, chafing against rules and aching for a chance to stretch her wings. She had felt more alive then than she had felt since graduating and settling into Fendersburg.
We need to plan how you'll convince your friends to give you their strength for this endeavor. You can't do this alone, you know.
I haven't even tried yet, Jane snapped back. She closed her eyes and sighed, and reached blindly for the jumbo mug of coffee, double sugar and triple cream, that she had fixed the moment she stumbled up the stairs. She needed something to chase the cobwebs from her head, and the bad taste from her mouth.
Odd. She hadn't even realized she had walked up the stairs, instead of phasing out and floating up through the levels to her apartment. Maybe it was an unconscious move to save her energy, but shouldn't she at least have been conscious that she did it?
True. How wonderful it would be if you could open the doorway by yourself, with no help from anyone. You would certainly prove what I have believed about you since the moment we made contact: You are powerful and talented and worthy to rule. A true heroine and friend.
Hero Blues Page 21
