by Rebecca Shaw
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Do you like him now?”
“Oh yes. He’s been a real asset to the practice. He’s like me, you see; speaks straight from the shoulder, no messing. And like doesn’t always get on with like, does it?”
“No, I suppose not. When you know Danny the way I do, you know he’s pure gold.”
Letty looked Rose up and down. “I like your dress. You’ve an instinct for what suits, haven’t you?”
“I guess I could lose some more weight, though; I can only just get into this dress. Specially round the top.”
“Sit down. You still look lovely. You always do. I’m envious of that.”
“Hey! This isn’t a Rose Franklin-Brown admiration day. I want to know how you are. Last time we met I thought you weren’t looking too well.”
“Kettle’s boiled, I won’t be a minute.”
Letty rushed to the kitchen, and Rose could hear her organizing cups and opening the fridge and pouring milk. In a moment she was back carrying a tray and placing it exactly in the middle of the coffee table. Jonathan began to gurgle again. “Sorry, this isn’t one of his best days. Here, darling, have your comforter.” Rose popped his pacifier into his mouth, and Jonathan sucked loudly on it.
“You approve of pacifiers, then?”
“Oh yes. If he’s unhappy, why not?”
“Lots of people don’t.”
“Well, that’s up to them. I’ve read all the books and then some, and I’m determined to do as I think fit. No milk for me, thanks.” Rose accepted her cup and sipped it gratefully. “This is lovely tea.” She stretched out her long, elegant legs under the coffee table, wriggled her shoulders to get more comfortable, and asked again how Letty was.
“Well, I’m no better. Can I confide in you?”
Rose nodded. “Confide away.” She gave Letty an encouraging smile.
“I mean really confide. I’m not really into confiding in women friends, but then I haven’t got any. I’m not very good at women’s chat, you know, all girls together.”
“Neither am I, but I’m a good listener.” She gave Letty a beautiful smile, the sort of smile that made Dan’s heart go head over heels, and Letty began to relax. She drained her cup of tea in one go, dabbed her lips, laid down her napkin, placed her teacup and saucer on the coffee table exactly lined up with the tiles on the top, cleared her throat, fidgeted for her handkerchief, straightened her skirt, and then said so softly Rose could hardly hear, “I’m so afraid.”
Cautiously, fearing what she might be told, Rose asked, “You are? What of?”
“Either I’ve got something wrong with me, or I’m going quietly crackers.”
“You are?”
“I think I might be pregnant. I haven’t told Colin; he won’t like the idea, you know.”
“Won’t like the idea! Of course he will. How can he not like it, a lovely man like Colin? He’ll be thrilled.”
“But I can’t be pregnant though, can I? I mean, after all these years. So I must be ill. Cancer or something.”
“Have you seen the doctor?”
“No. I daren’t.”
“But you must.” Rose hesitated, thinking about how to phrase her next question. “Why do you think you’re not pregnant and that it must be cancer?”
Letty flushed with embarrassment. “I’ve missed…you know…four times now, and I’m always so sick. Sometimes actually sick, but mostly feeling sick. Sometimes I retch and retch and nothing happens. It leaves me exhausted. I can’t keep food down, and I could swear my stomach has swollen.”
“That sounds remarkably like being pregnant. But it’s no good not knowing. What makes you say Colin will be angry? You’ve got to find out one way or the other. If you’re not pregnant and it is something serious…they work wonders nowadays. It’s no longer the death sentence it was, you know.” Then Rose remembered Nuala and could have bitten off her tongue. “I’ll go with you to the doctor; either way you need a friend.”
Letty got out her handkerchief and blew her nose. “You see, Colin doesn’t want children.”
“How do you know that?”
“He told me once. He said, ‘I do not want children. Our lives are perfectly satisfactory without children all over the place.’ So he means it. How do you bring up a child when its father doesn’t want it?” Letty looked up at Rose and almost pleaded for understanding.
“With difficulty, I should imagine. Dan and I…well, I know it sounds intensely coy and mushy, but we want to make babies together. Our babies, you know. Men are immensely proud when they’ve proved themselves to be male in every aspect. I honestly don’t think you need worry about Colin. He may need time to become accustomed to the idea, but believe me, when he holds in his arms a child born of his flesh, the whole picture will change. He’s such a caring man. Well, that’s how he always seems to me.”
Letty didn’t answer.
Rose tried to catch her eye. “Yes?”
“But if it’s cancer…I’ve still got to tell him.”
“I guess that he’d rather hear about a baby than cancer. Which do you think would be the worst?”
Letty began to smile.
“I’d come with you to see the doctor.”
“Would you? Would you really? I could be brave if you were with me.”
“Make an appointment, let me know, and I’ll come. Honest to God. I’ll come.”
“I feel better already. It could be a week at least; you know what it’s like getting a doctor’s appointment these days. Unless you’re actually dying…” Letty gave a single, painful sob, got things under control, then said, “I do appreciate your offering to come. I don’t deserve it, really.”
“Of course you do, what the heck. I’ll gladly go with you. In fact, ring right now.”
“No. I won’t do that. I’ll ring when you’ve gone.”
“No time like the present. Here.” Rose got her mobile out of her bag and pressing the appropriate keys had the phone ringing out sooner than it takes to tell.
“I can’t. I can’t.”
“Then shall I?”
Letty nodded.
“Hi! This is Rose Franklin-Brown speaking on behalf of Mrs. Letty Walker who is a patient of…?”
“Dr. Mason.”
“Dr. Mason. She urgently needs an appointment, but a proper one, none of this emergency business, two minutes and you’re out with a prescription in your paw. This is a serious matter and needs instant medical appraisal. Next Friday? You mean Friday of this week? Oh! Friday of next week? It won’t do.” Rose felt Letty pulling at her sleeve. “Just a moment.”
“Don’t worry. Next Friday will do.”
Rose ignored Letty’s plea. “If she were a dog I’m sure a vet would see her tomorrow, most likely today. I wonder if it would be better if she went to the vet instead? She’d at least get immediate attention.” There was a pause while Rose listened. “I’m not surprised; I don’t find it funny either, believe me. And I’m still waiting.”
Rose sat listening to the muffled altercation going on at the other end of the line.
“Yes, it is urgent.” Rose listened and then said, “Her symptoms?” Rose’s voice was full of apology. “I’m so sorry. I’d no idea I was speaking to a doctor. I do beg your pardon. Oh! You’re not a doctor; then to whom am I speaking?” Rose winked at Letty. There was a pause while Rose listened and then Letty heard her say, “As you’re not a qualified medical practitioner, I fail to see what telling you her symptoms will achieve. So we’re still waiting for an appointment. Absolutely. Yes. Twenty minutes. Yes. Thank you.”
Full of dread, Letty looked at Rose.
“If we go now, you can be seen straightaway, and I guess that’s what we should do. I’ll drive. No, Letty, I know what you’re going to say, but it’s better to get it over with.” She scooped up Jonathan, now fast asleep, gave Letty’s arm a squeeze, and said, “I know I’m inclined to hassle, but it’s for the best, isn’t it?”
Reluctantly Letty nodded.
She would never have allowed Colin to take over the way she’d just allowed Rose.
“Purse, Letty.”
“Oh! Yes. I should have a bath or a shower or something before I go.”
“No time. I’m quite sure you’re the cleanest possible person, so don’t fret.” Rose gave Letty a reassuring grin and gently pushed her out of the door. “Keys?”
“Oh. Yes.”
Five minutes from the surgery Letty said, “I’m sure I’m troubling them for nothing. Let’s go home. It’s the menopause come early or something.”
“If it is, then at least you’ll know for sure. But being sick all the time doesn’t sound like it to me.” She stopped speaking while she negotiated a notoriously difficult traffic circle and then swung with practiced ease into a parking space right outside the surgery. “Right. Here we are. Wait while I get Jonathan out; it takes a minute.”
Letty, glad of any excuse to delay facing the truth, stood by the car twisting her hands in agitation, trying to think up good reasons why she shouldn’t go in. Rose, sensing how very distressed she was and thinking she’d be just the same if it were her, heaved the baby carrier onto her arm and, putting on her encouraging face despite her dread, took hold of Letty’s free arm and led her into the surgery. She whispered, “Sit down and make yourself look even more ghastly than you feel.”
At reception, Rose said, “I’ve brought Mrs. Letty Walker for her appointment with Dr. Mason.” The receptionist referred to the screen on the desk and with a condescending look on her face said, “I’m afraid you must have got the wrong day; there’s no appointment down for her. I’ve just come on and no message was left for me to that effect.”
“She has an appointment because I have just made one over the phone. We were told to come straight in and we have done so.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but he hasn’t any free appointments until next Friday. Can I make one for then?”
“No, you may not because we already have one. So get checking.”
Luckily at that moment Dr. Mason came out of his consulting room, couldn’t miss seeing Rose, and almost rushed to greet her. “Mrs. Franklin-Brown! How wonderful to see you! How are you and the little babe?”
“Absolutely fine, thank you, Dr. Mason.”
He held out his hand to shake Rose’s as though she were a long lost friend. “And what can I do for you?”
Pointing at Letty, Rose answered. “My friend here, Letty Walker, is your next appointment.”
The receptionist sprang to life. “I beg your pardon, she is not…” Then she shrank back in her chair, intimidated by the threatening look Rose had given her.
The welcoming smile slid from Dr. Mason’s face. “Ah! Right. I don’t think I have a free…”
Rose smiled sweetly at him, one of those dazzling smiles of hers that no one could resist, and he succumbed to her charms. “But perhaps I can fit her in. This way, Mrs. Walker.”
Patiently Rose waited for Letty to emerge from the consulting room. She occupied herself by looking around the room at the motley collection of people awaiting their turns, categorizing them and wondering what their complaints were. They all looked remarkably fit, and she came to the conclusion that half of them at least had minor ailments they could have treated at home. No wonder they said Letty couldn’t have an appointment until the end of next week; the place was cluttered with malingerers.
Letty came into the waiting room, eyes red from weeping and grim faced. It wasn’t until they were back in the car that she spoke. “Rose.”
Head down in the back of the car busy securing Jonathan’s safety seat, Rose replied, “Mmm?”
“Rose. I’ve a card here to go for a scan…right now.”
The alarm bells began ringing in Rose’s brain. For a moment she went quite still and then carefully closed the back door and swallowed hard. “You have?” Hoping it sounded much more casual than she felt.
“I’m supposed to go right now. But I think I’ll leave it till tomorrow. There isn’t time.”
That urgent? Hell! Rose thought. “Well, then we shall. If he’s arranged it for you for today, we’d better go. Scan appointments are as rare as hen’s teeth. They must have had a cancellation. You direct me.” She patted Letty’s knee and then leaned across to give her a reassuring kiss.
“Turn right out of here, then first left turn, and then the left fork—no, no—right fork, and we’re there.”
“So we did right then, getting a quick appointment.”
Letty was obviously preoccupied and didn’t answer, so Rose paid attention to her driving instead. She pulled up in the first available space in the hospital car park, switched off the ignition, and took hold of Letty’s hand. “Best get it over with. Eh?”
“Oh, Rose! I never thought for one minute I’d have to go for a scan. I’m absolutely bowled over with it.”
“Well, the only way to tackle it is head on. Straight in for the big punch, no messing.”
“Oh yes. I may be a while, though. What about Jonathan?”
“Don’t worry about him. If he needs feeding, I shall feed him; I’ve no fine sensitivities about the matter. Come on.”
So Rose did feed Jonathan because he began his I-am-starving routine the moment she sat down to wait for Letty. It seemed an age, worrying about what Letty was to learn. At least they hadn’t let the grass grow under their feet. Full marks for that. No, siree. But that meant it was urgent, didn’t it? Poor Letty. Poor Colin. They’d both need all the support possible.
Eventually just as Jonathan had fallen fast asleep with his stomach so full he was fit to burst, Letty returned. A transformed Letty. A bouyant, bouncing Letty. A shining Letty who bent to kiss her cheek and kiss the baby too.
“Oh, Rose! Oh, Rose! Come on, let’s go.”
She picked up Rose’s bag and hastened her out of the hospital. “Oh, Rose!”
Scurrying along behind her, Rose said breathlessly, “You’ve got the all clear then. It isn’t cancer?”
Letty nodded her head.
“Oh!” With the baby firmly strapped in, Rose got into the driving seat. “Thank heavens for that. What is it then?”
Letty said. “I must be the biggest fool under the sun.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that; you’d have to go a long way to beat me.”
Looking out of the side window to avoid Rose’s eyes, Letty said, “I can’t believe it, but they say, they say,” Letty took a deep breath, “I’m about four months pregnant. I feel such a fool. At forty-seven, it’s not a joke, is it?”
Shocked, Rose took in a great gulp of breath, then huge relief made her blurt out, “It is not funny!” But Rose began to laugh; in fact, she roared with laughter until she complained of a stitch in her side. “Oh, Letty! All this worry. All these weeks. A baby! Oh, my God! No wonder you thought you had a lump. Some lump!” She went off into peals of laughter again, leaving no pause for Letty to speak. In the end it was catching, and Letty began to laugh too. Then relief and thankfulness became two emotions too many for Letty, and streams of tears began running down her cheeks, and yet she was laughing at the same time.
Rose got out a tissue from Jonathan’s bag of necessities and gave it to her. “I can’t believe you didn’t think it could be a baby.”
“I’d given up all hope years ago and…at forty-seven I didn’t dare think it, for one moment. I knew I felt differently, more sentimental and such, and I caught myself drooling over some kittens at the practice one day, and there was that day when I cried when you brought Jonathan in and I couldn’t bear the sight of him. I was so desperate thinking that it was all much too late for me and Colin. Life didn’t seem very fair that day. But I never thought…would you?”
“If I’d never been pregnant, then I suppose perhaps I wouldn’t. Jeez! Colin’s going to get a shock. Catch your breath and then ring him. Go on, use my phone.”
“No, no, I’ll wait till I get home. Thanks.”
“I insist. Think how pleased he’ll be. What’s his
mobile number? Here, it’s ringing.”
Colin had just come in from a full day of calls and was standing by the reception desk talking to Kate. They were discussing her options if her chemistry grade wasn’t an A. “But it will be!” said Colin. “It’s bound to be.”
“It isn’t bound to be. I got a D last time and it’s a big jump up to an A. Sometimes I think I’ve done all right, others I’m totally convinced I’ve done really badly, like last time.”
“It is not the end of your life if you don’t get in. It might feel like it, but it isn’t. There are other avenues for you.”
Colin’s mobile began ringing, and he hadn’t appeared to notice. Kate said, “That’s your phone, Colin.”
“So it is.” Colin took it from the clip at his waist and switched it on. “Oh, hello! It’s you. Something wrong?”
Kate watched him as he listened, saw his face go pale. “The hospital. For a what? The line’s breaking up. Say it again. A scan? Whatever for? Are you ill? I didn’t know you had an appointment. Yes. Yes. What? I thought you said…You did. Hell’s bells! How did that happen? Yes, yes, OK. I’ll be home as soon as I can. Jeepers creepers!” Colin switched off his phone and stood gazing at it.
Kate asked, “Everything all right, is it, Colin?”
Colin looked at Kate. “She’s getting a lift home from the hospital.”
“Letty?”
Colin nodded, eyes fixed again on his mobile, preoccupied and silent.
“Are you all right? I mean, is it bad news?”
Dazed might have been the best word to describe Colin’s appearance—he moved like a man in a trance. Finally, as he reached the main door and opened it, he said, “Kate! You won’t believe this, but I think Letty said she was pregnant. She can’t be, can she?”
Kate grinned. “No good asking me; how could I know?”
“Mmm. No. Of course you don’t. I can’t understand it,” Colin said and left, shaking his head in disbelief.
But when he got home, Colin was finally convinced because Letty showed him the printout of the scan, and there for all to see was a baby. A baby he’d fathered, a child Letty had conceived, a child, which, after nearly sixteen years of marriage, was nothing short of a miracle. A total, definite, absolute, downright, without any doubt at all, miracle.
