by Janae Keyes
“You look beautiful,” a guest muttered to me. I lifted my head to Liam standing before me in a charcoal gray suit with a tie in my dad’s favorite color, bright red. A smile just lined my lips.
“Thanks,” I returned as he pulled me in for a quick hug. I inhaled his scent. The spice of his cologne filled my nostrils. I closed my eyes and a moan escaped my lips at being in the comfort of Liam’s arms.
“See you in there,” he spoke softly as he reluctantly let me go. I held in the whimper of disappointment that tried to escape.
My eyes stayed on Liam as he stepped into the doors of the church and he found a seat in the second row. I was mesmerized by the man I once thought I would marry.
“What happened with Liam?” Olivia asked me instantly as she’d been a witness to the moment I shared with him.
“Ready to go in?” the voice of Minister Garland interrupted us. I peered at the kind gentleman who stood in clergy robes. I gave him a nod of approval. I swallowed in acceptance of what the day brought.
“We’ll talk later,” Olivia hissed in my ear before she departed for her own seat with her family.
A grin found my face as I spotted Ms. Odette sitting in a wheelchair near Olivia’s family. She’d been allowed out of the home to join us for this celebration, a Homegoing. She was dressed for a proper celebration too in a crimson red skirt suit and big matching hat. It reminded me of seeing her dressed up when I’d attend church with her and Olivia when I was a kid.
I followed Minister Garland. I was Dad’s only family. He’d cut off his family when he was a teenager and left home. He was a child of abuse and when he finally got his moment of escape, he took it and he found Fort Shasta.
Alone, I took to the aisle of the church. It was almost like a morbid wedding as everyone looked upon me with their pity and remorse for my loss. As we reached the front of the church, the wooden casket I picked out was in clear view with white roses resting on top. Dad was simple and most caskets I came across in the catalogue the funeral home gave were over the top and nothing like what dad would have wanted.
Glancing over to the second row, Liam sat with his parents. He gave me a weak smile as tears trickled down his cheeks. Liam was the son my dad never got to have, and Liam knew just how much he meant to him.
I took my seat and Minister Garland stood at the podium up front. The kind man I’d met only days ago smiled at the crowd and nodded to the small church choir that stood behind the pulpit. Olivia had managed to get the choir from her grandmother’s church.
“Today is not a day of tearful goodbyes. That’s not what Mr. Cross would want and that’s not what Bethany wants. When I arrived in Fort Shasta a few years ago, I never expected the bar owner with an infectious laugh would be my biggest ally. Today, we celebrate the light of none other than David Cross, a father and community man who will truly be missed by all.” With Minister Garland’s beginning statements, tears began to fall down my face.
The choir stood and began an upbeat rendition of Amazing Grace. The rest of the church stood and clapped along. I could hear Ms. Odette singing her praises in the background and I smiled to myself. This is what Dad wanted. The joy of those around was infectious. Dad gave that kind of joy to others every single day.
A scripture was read before Ms. Stevens took to the microphone. From her glassed over eyes you could tell she was already tipsy and tonight at the bar she’d be going for a home run.
“David...David…He was my best friend,” she slurred into the microphone. A throat cleared behind me and I glanced to see a look of concern on Liam’s face, but I turned my attention back to the woman who would baby sit me on occasion when Dad needed and no matter her state of sobriety, she was always there. “I’m going to see...see…sing a song for my dear David. May he have good peace with the Lor...Lord.”
She pointed a wavering finger at the pianist who nervously began to play. Ms. Stevens closed her eyes and found herself lost in the music. She pulled the microphone close and began to sing. I’d heard this song before when going over selections with Olivia for the choir. It was His Eye is on the Sparrow and she sang it completely off key, but with all her heart.
Honestly, I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. She was hurting like everyone else in the room, but it was another level of hurt. I blew my nose into my tissue to hide my giggle. A strong hand rested on my shoulder. Liam squeezed hard and I smiled into my tissue knowing he was trying to be just as strong. Laughing was a hard thing to fight off.
Upon finishing the song, Ms. Stevens was in a fit of tears and a couple guys from the bar helped her back to her seat as she sobbed onto one of their shoulders.
“That was a... beautiful rendition of the song Ms. Stevens.” I shook my head at the Minister’s flat out lie. He couldn’t help it either. Nobody wanted to hurt the old lady’s feelings. “We’d like to invite a few people to come up and give some words about Mr. Cross.”
Dale was first to approach the microphone. It was the first time I’d ever seen him cleaned up. He cleared his throat as he stood in his black suit that was two sizes too big. He wore a dark blue shirt with it and black and gray patterned tie. It was a far cry off from his usual beat up jeans, dingy white tank top, open plaid shirt, and trucker hat. His scraggly long hair was even pulled back in a ponytail.
“David was a saint. He changed my life and he got me out of some real bad stuff. He even got me out of jail a few times. When he saw me or anyone else suffering, he brought them in. He treated everybody like family. There wasn’t no discrimination in Crossroads. Normally, somebody like me and Ms. Maddie Stevens wouldn’t be caught dead in the same place, but David made a place where we could find our common ground. He saw the good in everybody. Not too many people left like that in the world and I’m going to miss him. I’m grateful he had Liam by his side in his final days, and I’m grateful Liam will be keeping Crossroads the place that David meant it to be.”
I saw that spark of hope in Dale’s eyes as he talked about the bar. As much as the town depended on the place. I couldn’t keep it open. Financially it wasn’t feasible, and emotionally I couldn’t take keeping it alive. These people had this dream of keeping the bar their spot, but that dream was my nightmare.
Dale took his seat and was replaced with another person, and then came another. Each of them had fond stories of Dad and Crossroads. Their hearts were broken with losing dad, but I would be dealing them another blow when they got the notice of closure.
Someone behind me stood and right away I noticed it was Liam as he took the podium. He ran his fingers over his dark hair and his eyes directly met mine. I peered away at the thumping of my heart.
“Mr. Cross was my other dad. Though I grew up with the best loving father, Mr. Cross was that bit extra. I really got to know him when I was in high school and dating his daughter. I forged this connection with the old man I knew as the guy who owned the bar downtown. Through the years and even through the end of my relationship with Bethany, I stayed close with Mr. Cross, and when he got sick, he came to me. I never had plans on working in a bar, nor running one for nearly a year, but I would never give those times up for anything. I want to keep his memory alive in the place that so many call home.” Liam paused for a moment, I could hear him sniff back tears and I glanced back up at him. He took a moment to take a breath.
“It’s alright, Liam,” Dale called out from his seat.
“Let it go, Baby,” Ms. Stevens added.
“I call that place home, and I’d give anything to keep Crossroads going in…” He turned to face the wooden casket. “Going in your honor, Mr. Cross.”
Guilt trapped me in my spot. Cheers from bar regulars filled the church and Liam somberly sat behind me once more. I couldn’t dare look at any of them.
“David touched so many lives and from the words of those who have come up, it is obvious. He was a good man to all he came across. He brought people together, and he loved his only daughter with all his heart,” Minister Garland began his s
ermon.
Minister Garland spoke a beautiful word of Dad’s strength and how he gave that strength to others in his everyday life. I couldn’t agree more. Dad was who I called when things got hard. Dad was the person I cried to when I felt like I couldn’t go on. I wasn’t the only person who called and cried to him, the entire town did daily. He smiled even when he hurt. It made sense to me now why he never told me about his sickness. He could no longer smile, and if he felt like he was letting anyone down, it would be me.
I swallowed as the men from the funeral home approached the casket. Delicately, they removed the flowers and opened the lid. I could just see a side of his face from my seat. I was afraid to look to hard, afraid of seeing that man pulled from the refrigerator at the hospital. That man was one I didn’t know.
Ms. Odette was rolled to the front. She peered inside of the casket and placed a hand on his arm tenderly before she was rolled to the side of the choir and a microphone was handed to her. Her sweet voice filled the room as she began the opening lines to the song she’d sang when visiting her in the care home facility, Goin’ Up Yonder.
Suddenly, the choir was standing and in joyous song they joined her. As they sang, row by row the funeral guests all arrived to view Dad’s body for the last time and when it was my turn, I was paralyzed.
Liam’s hand extended to mine, and I took his. His strong grip held me as I stood on wobbling legs and took unsteady steps in the direction of the wooden box dad would spend the rest of eternity in.
Emotions flooded me, and I choked out a cry as I laid eyes on him. It was the dad I always knew. That was Dad, that was the man who rocked me to bed and kissed my boo-boos. He was who taught me to read and write. He taught me to drive and got me my first car. Dad was my rock and the only blood relative I’d known since I was two years old.
If he was only alive and his spirit not departed, I would have so many words for him. I would tell him I loved him a million times over. I would ask about every missed detail from the past year and I would hold him close remembering all the good times.
With a nod to the funeral director, the casket was shut, and I pressed my face to Liam’s shirt. I cried for all that I missed and all that would be missed. Dad would never see me get married when the time came, and he would never get to meet any grandchildren.
I inhaled sharply and took in Liam’s wooded scent that took me back to a time when that was my comfort. His hand rubbed my back as we followed the casket from the church all while Ms. Odette and the choir continued to sing songs of praise. My heart was filled with sadness and a different kind of joy. It was a joy at the confirmation of Dad never suffering again.
“You did good,” Liam whispered in my ear.
We stood on the steps of the church as the casket was loaded into the black hearse. Minister Garland recited Psalms 23 before the door was closed. I allowed a breath to escape. It was done.
The burial was the worst part. Watching the casket being lowered into the ground signified the true ending of the legacy my dad held. It was also my final goodbye. The few minute ceremony broke me in a way I hadn’t expected and through it, Liam was with me. Liam squeezed my hand as I watched the casket disappear. Liam also took my keys and drove me to the bar where the patrons were waiting to memorialize Dad in their own way.
I stood next to the bar with a drink in my hand. Liam had made me my go-to of vodka on the rocks with a twist of lime. After my tearful goodbye, a drink was exactly what I needed. There was still so much work ahead of me. My mind was going a million miles a minute as I thought of what waited for me. There was getting Dad’s debt taken care of, selling the bar, selling Dad’s house, and saying goodbye for good to the town I grew up in. As much as I hated Fort Shasta, it was still home in a strange way.
“Hey there, Bethany,” a voice took me out of my trance and in front of me stood a short gray-haired man. He was sweating bullets and he wiped his forehead with a handkerchief. I recognized him, Mr. McKarther, he was a lawyer friend of dad’s. “I was hoping I could talk to you and Liam in private real quick.”
“Uh, yeah. Let me get Liam. We can talk in the office,” I told him before I turned to the bar where Liam, along with the other bartender on staff were serving up drinks to the patrons in the packed bar. “Liam!” I called out to him. He turned in my direction and I felt butterflies in my stomach as his eyes peered into mine and a smile took to his soft and kissable lips. “Office.”
I pointed in the direction of the office as I began to weave through the crowd with Mr. McKarther right behind me. We reached the office door at the same time as Liam. I opened the door and entered with the two men behind me. Liam shut the door and the noise from the bar became muffled.
“Bethany, I first wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I was out of town and just got back to hear of your dad’s passing,” Mr. McKarther began as he pulled out a large yellow envelope. I gave him a kind smile in thanks for his condolences. “I came by here because your dad had me do his will for him about six months back. Did he ever tell you he’d done one?”
“No.” I shook my head. Dad never said he was sick and he sure as hell never mentioned a will.
“He laid out how he wished for his possessions to distribute. Most of this is straightforward. All the money in the bank accounts and the house to Bethany. I asked Liam in here because for the bar he desired a fifty-fifty split of the property between the two of you,” Mr. McKarther explained, and my mouth flew open in shock. Dad wanted Liam and I to share the bar?
“I’ve asked a real estate agent to come check out the bar in order to sell the property. Are you saying I can’t do that without Liam’s input and permission?” I tried to make sense of the newest complication.
“That’s right. Now you can buy Liam out or he can buy you out to completely own the property, but as co-owners, you must both sign off on any decisions such as the selling of the property.” Mr. McKarther pulled some papers from the envelope and handed Liam and I each a copy. It was a complete copy of the will.
Tears trickled down my face at the beginning statement of the legal document, “I, David Cross, being of sound heart and mind, declare this my final will in testament.”
Every moment of the past week, I wish I could wake up and it all be a ridiculous dream.
“I’m truly sorry for your loss. I’m always here if you need any legal assistance. Your dad was a good man and he was loved by everyone. I’m happy that I got the privilege of knowing him,” Mr. McKarther gave both of us a nod. I felt a sense of defeat and my head hung low as he left Liam and I alone.
“Guess we’ll have to work on this,” I murmured as I sat the copy of the will down on Dad’s desk. He’d left me with a mess I had no choice but to clean-up.
With Liam’s hand on the small of my back, we walked back out into the noise of the bar. Drinks were still flowing and kind words about Dad were on the lips of every patron, but suddenly I froze as I saw a confused looking man standing at the door. I knew him right away as he stood in his black suit with a bouquet of my favorite, white daisies.
Kevin, my ex-fiancé spotted me from the door. I froze in my spot and shook my head. This wasn’t happening. I couldn’t deal with burying my dad and facing the cheating asshole on the same damn day.
“What’s up?” Liam asked in my ear.
“Nothing. I’ll take care of it,” I grumbled as I took off in Kevin’s direction. He smiled as I drew near. I shook my head as I reached him and grabbed his jacket by the lapel. “Come, now!”
I yanked Kevin out the door with me. He tried to hand me the bouquet of flowers as he mumbled something about being sorry for my loss and I only smacked it from his hand and onto the ground. The white petals of the daisies scattered along the ground and blew in the gentle warm breeze.
“How dare you come here!” I shouted as I stood with my finger in his face. “I told you to pack your shit from my place and I never wanted to see you again. What makes you think showing up here the day of my fat
her’s funeral was a good idea?”
“Beth, baby, I told you it was an accident. I want to be here for you. Believe me,” Kevin groveled like a scorned toddler. I growled in frustration.
“Get out of here, Kevin.” I turned away from him. My hand grabbed the doorknob of the bar. I’d decided I’d no longer mind him. He’d have to get the picture, but he apparently hadn’t. He took my arm and swung me around to him.
“I drove ten fucking hours to get up here. I didn’t drive all that way for you to turn me down like that.” Kevin’s green eyes glared into mine. I still remembered the day I met him. I was in South America with Doctors Without Borders and he was filming a movie. We met in a little bar and the rest was history. I’d been scouting LA as a place I’d wanted to move if I found a job there and he already lived there. I thought it was fate at the time. “Bethany, listen to reason.”
“Let go of me,” I fought with him as I tried to wrestle my wrist from his grip. “You have no right to be here. Just let me go and get out of my life.”
I didn’t care about any of his excuses. He fucked up and showed me I wasn’t as important to his life as he said I was. He lied to me, took advantage of my trust, and broke my heart on the worst day of my life.
“Get your hands off her.” Liam’s voice echoed around me. Kevin released his grip on me to see who was challenging him. He never got to properly size Liam up before Liam’s fist landed square in the middle of his face.
Kevin staggered backward but was determined to put up a fight. He charged at Liam using his full force in attempting to bring Liam down. Liam was prepared and before my eyes, Kevin was on the ground with Liam laying punches into his face.
Always that protector, Liam had always been that way, and the feelings I already had for him were bubbling over.
Chapter Ten
Liam
The sight of his hands on her, and watching the way he tried to intimidate her, my vision went red. He didn’t deserve any of the time he’d spent with her. She was much too good for him and he took advantage of the fact when he broke her heart. I was once in his shoes, I knew that well, and now finally owning up to my shit, I knew she deserved better than his lame words and treatment.
