Jillian tossed the magazine she’d been reading onto the bed. “Hurting me how?”
Nikki hunched her shoulders. “How am I supposed to know? They were just worried, and right before you started talking to me again, we were gonna ask you about it. But then we saw that you were happy again and acting like your old self.”
“Well, all three of you were worrying for nothing.”
“I know that now, but when you wouldn’t talk to me, I didn’t know what to think.”
Jillian picked up the magazine and ignored Nikki’s last comment. Now she wondered what everyone else at school had been thinking, too. She’d done a fabulous job of pretending to be happy whenever she was home, making sure her mother didn’t notice at all how depressed she was, and now she wished she’d put on the same facade at school. But she’d become so tired of putting on like everything was okay, all day long, and finally when her father had resorted to taking photos of her naked body and had continued forcing himself inside her mouth, she’d broken down emotionally, and school was the place she’d chosen to let her true feelings show.
Nikki turned back around, facing her desk, and unscrewed a bottle of topcoat. Thankfully, she didn’t say anything else on the subject, and Jillian hoped that would be the case from now on, because what she wanted was to put that miserable chapter of her life behind her. It was over, and she didn’t want to dwell on it or think about it again.
Chapter 11
JILLIAN’S MOM SAT AN OBLONG PAN OF FRIED CHICKEN ONTO the laminated, light oak dining room table and then followed with a dish of creamed corn and warm, buttered dinner rolls. Jillian brought in a glass pitcher of homemade iced tea, and the two of them took their seats. Her father and Layla had been sitting and waiting for the last ten minutes or so, and they were finally ready for him to say grace.
“Dear Heavenly Father, we come right now just thanking you for another day. We thank you for our beautiful and very loving family and for all that you have so graciously given us. We thank you for the food we are about to receive and for meeting our every single need. In Your son Jesus’s name, Amen.”
Jillian, her mom, and Layla spoke in unison. “Amen.”
Her father lifted a pair of steel tongs and placed two wings and a breast on his plate. “So, I hear there’s a school dance tomorrow night.”
“There is, and it’s supposed to be the biggest one of the year.”
Jillian’s mom spooned out a sizable helping of corn. “I tell you, it seems like forever since I was in junior high and couldn’t wait to go to all our dances. We would have the time of our lives. Learning and doing all the new dance steps. It was so much fun, and those definitely were the days.”
“I remember how fun it was, too,” her father said. “But I also remember how the chaperones had to keep their eyes on most of the boys, making sure they stayed in line and weren’t trying to do things they weren’t supposed to.”
Her mom chuckled. “I remember that at my school, too, and I also remember them having to keep on some of those fast little girls.”
Her father poured himself some tea. “I know. But that’s where we’re very blessed, because our little princess isn’t like that. She’s not thinking about any of these little thickhead boys in the least. Right, princess?”
Jillian hated lying, but she knew it was best to say exactly what she knew her father wanted to hear. “That’s right. I just like hanging out with Nikki, Ashley, and Shelly and dancing to all the new songs.”
“But what about that boy, Kyle, who’s been calling here?” her father asked, and she wished he’d stop forcing her to be so dishonest.
“Kyle is nothing but a good friend of mine. No different than Nikki. We’re just friends because we both know we’re too young to be boyfriend and girlfriend. We’re not even thinking about anything like that.”
Her father looked at her and then back down at his plate, and she couldn’t tell whether he’d bought her story or not.
Her mother smiled, though. “You know, sweetie, I probably don’t tell you this enough, but I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter. Or I guess I should say we couldn’t have asked for a better daughter, because I know your father feels the same way. You’ve always been the model child and always so mindful and respectful of what your elders tell you to do. You’ve always paid attention to what’s good for you and what isn’t, and you’ve never been disobedient like so many other children are. We’re so proud of you, Jill.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“We definitely are,” her father added. “More proud than you could ever know.”
“But what about me?” Layla whined. “Because I’m your daughter, too.”
Everyone laughed, and then their mother said, “Oh, honey, of course you are. We’re very proud of you, too, and you never give us any trouble either. We love both you and Jill more than anything in this world.”
Layla smiled with satisfaction and ate a piece of her roll. Jillian bit a piece of her drumstick.
“So, is Nikki’s mom still going to drop you guys off tomorrow night?” her mother asked.
“I think so.”
“That’ll work well, then, because your dad and I made reservations at that new Mexican restaurant near the mall.”
Layla looked at her mom. “Does that I mean I get to go with Jill?”
“No, honey, you’re going to go over to your grandparents’.”
“But why? Why can’t I go with Jill to the big dance?”
“Because it’s only for the kids who go to Jill’s school.”
Layla folded her arms and pouted. “I never get to do anything.”
“Of course you do, pumpkin,” her father said. “You get to do a lot of fun stuff all the time.”
“But I don’t get to go anywhere with Jill and her friends.”
“That’s because you’re not old enough yet. But you’ll get there, and before long, you’ll be going to your own dances at your own junior high school.”
Layla didn’t say anything else, but Jillian could tell she still wasn’t happy. She’d be fine, though, once she arrived at their grandparents’, because they always let Layla eat and do whatever she wanted. They always let her rule the house completely whenever she came over, the same as they’d done with Jillian when she was that age.
After Jillian and her mom had cleared the table and loaded everything into the dishwasher, Jillian went upstairs and called Kyle. She had a lot of homework to do, but she didn’t want to miss talking to him for at least a few minutes. Interestingly enough, a few minutes turned into thirty.
“You know I can’t wait to dance with you, don’t you?” he said.
“Yes.”
“And I hope your girls don’t mind, because I want you to be with me the whole three hours.”
“They’ll be fine.”
“I’m just making sure, because you know how much you guys like to stick together.”
“Well, we already know Nikki’s going to be with Marcus the whole night, anyway.”
“That we do, because Marcus has been bragging about it to the entire team all this week.”
Jillian was mortified. “Oh my God. He’s been telling people about him and Nikki sneaking out of the dance tomorrow night?”
“Of course he has. He also told us when he got it from her for the first time, too. He tells on all the girls he does it with. That’s just the way Marcus is.”
“He is so wrong for that.”
“Maybe, but if I were you, I would advise Nikki not to sneak anywhere with Marcus. Especially not up in those woods.”
“Why?”
Kyle paused and then spoke. “Look, all I’m saying is that Marcus can’t be trusted, and Nikki had better stop while she’s ahead. I mean, I don’t want you telling her that I said any of this, but you need to let her know that Marcus is planning to use her big time tomorrow night, and then he’s going to dump her. He’s been saying all week how tired he is of her and that he’s already got his eye on someone
else.”
“I told her to leave him alone in the first place. I practically begged her because I never liked him. I knew he was bad news and that Nikki was going to get her feelings hurt. But she wouldn’t listen to me.”
“Well, she’d better listen to you now, because if Marcus says he’s going to do something, that’s exactly what he means.”
“I’d better get off so I can try to call her.”
“Remember what I said about not mentioning my name.”
“I won’t.”
“Okay, then, I’ll let you go.”
“See you in the morning.”
Jillian pressed the end button and dialed Nikki’s number.
“Hey, Jill, what’s up?”
“Not much. What’s up with you?”
“Just trying on my outfit I’m wearing to the dance. Then I have some math to work on. Actually, girl, I’m surprised you’re not doing homework yourself, because by this time of night, that’s all you’re usually thinking about,” she said, teasing her and laughing.
“I know, but there’s something I really need to talk about.”
Jillian couldn’t believe all the lies she’d had to tell this evening. God, please forgive me. But I have to find a way to warn Nikki. “I was walking down the hallway at school and overheard some guys talking about you and Marcus.”
“So what? People talk all the time.”
“But this was different.”
“Different how?”
“They were saying that Marcus was going to take you in those woods and use you big time and then he was going to dump you. Then they said he was already tired of you and that he had his eye on some other girl.”
“Yeah, right. Marcus would never say anything like that, and to prove it, he just told me an hour ago that he’s in love with me.”
“But it sounded like everything they were saying was true, Nik.”
“Please. And anyway, those guys you heard were probably only saying those things because they can’t get with me. They’re just mad because they know they don’t have a chance.”
“Nikki, you know I always had a bad feeling about Marcus, so please don’t leave with him tomorrow night.”
“Honey, our plans are already set, and there’s no way on earth I’m disappointing Marcus. So stop worrying.”
“But, Nik, I believe every single thing I heard. I mean, why would someone make up something like that? And how did they know you and Marcus were going to be sneaking out of the dance in the first place? So you know he had to at least tell that much of it.”
“Wow. I can’t believe you’re taking all these lies so seriously.”
“But that’s just it. I don’t think they are lies. I think there’s a lot of truth to it.”
“You know what? Maybe the real problem is you.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Maybe you’re just as jealous as those pathetic little wimps you overheard, only you’re jealous for a different reason. Maybe the big problem here is that you wish you were the one Marcus had chosen to be with. Or maybe you’re just mad because Kyle hasn’t asked you to have sex with him the way Marcus asked me.”
“That’s not true, Nikki, and you know it.”
“No, I don’t know anything. Because if you were really my friend the way you claim to be, you would just be happy for me.”
“Why can’t you ever listen to anybody?”
“I’m not listening because you’re talkin’ a bunch of silly junk. And it’s like I said: I think you’re just upset because Kyle doesn’t want to have sex with you. There’s probably something wrong with his little boring behind, anyway. He’s probably afraid to even touch a girl in that kind of way.”
“Why are you being so cruel? Especially when I’m only trying to stop you from getting hurt.”
“What you need to do is mind your own business,” she said, and hung up the phone.
Jillian set her cordless onto its base and felt like crying. In all the years they’d been friends, not once had Nikki said such hurtful words to her, and Jillian could barely remember them having any real arguments. They disagreed on certain things—well, a lot of things for that matter—but they never got angry enough to hang up on each other the way Nikki had just now.
Jillian so wished she could get through to her. Make her see what a huge jerk Marcus was and that, from the very beginning, he had only wanted one thing from her. Make her see that all the rumors about him weren’t really rumors at all and that everything Jillian had heard about him was true.
She wished that somehow she could just get her to see that being with him was an enormous mistake.
But she knew all of the above was completely out of the question because Nikki was going to be Nikki. She was going to do whatever she pleased, and she didn’t care what anyone had to say about it.
Chapter 12
MISS G TURNED INTO THE SCHOOL PARKING LOT AND slowed down her vehicle. Cars, SUVs, trucks, and vans were everywhere, and kids were getting out of them and saying good-bye to their parents, one after another. Some had come to the dance alone and were probably going to meet up with their friends inside, and some had carpooled the same as Jillian and Nikki. Although it really didn’t feel like the two of them had ridden together at all, because Nikki still wasn’t speaking to Jillian. She hadn’t spoken to her all day in school, and until Miss G had pulled into their driveway and honked, Jillian hadn’t been all that sure they were still going to pick her up tonight. She was sure Miss G had no idea that they’d had such a terrible argument, but she wasn’t sure if maybe Nikki was so angry that she might tell her mom that Jillian wasn’t going. She’d been worried that Nikki might tell her anything, just so she didn’t have to deal with her.
Miss G drove up a few feet, pressed on her brakes again, and then looked at Nikki. “Are you girls okay?”
“We’re fine,” Nikki hurried to say.
“Jillian?” Miss G turned around and asked.
“Everything’s fine.”
“Well, it sure doesn’t seem like it. You girls haven’t said two words to each other since we left Jillian’s house.”
Jillian wished she could tell Miss G what the problem was, so that maybe she could talk some sense into Nikki, but she knew she could never do that. She knew Nikki would hate her from then on and would never speak to her again.
Finally, after another few minutes, Miss G drove directly in front of the entrance. “You girls be good and have fun.”
Jillian opened the back door. “Thanks for the ride, Miss G.”
“Any time.”
Nikki kissed her mom on the cheek. “See you later, Mom.”
“See you when you get home.”
Jillian and Nikki closed their respective doors and started toward the building, but Jillian couldn’t take this silent business any longer.
“Nikki, wait. I’m really sorry. I had no right trying to tell you what to do, and I really should have just minded my own business.”
Nikki stopped and looked at her. “I’m sorry, too, and it killed me not being able to talk to you all day. Let’s not ever let that happen again, okay?”
“Okay,” she said, and they hugged each other.
“I really am going to be fine, though, girl. You’ll see.”
Jillian smiled and hoped this would end up being the case.
In the cafeteria, all the tables and chairs were moved against the walls, and one of Rihanna’s singles was playing pretty loudly. The room was crowded, but Jillian could tell that Nikki was already scanning the room for Marcus. So far, he didn’t seem to be anywhere in sight, and Jillian wished he wouldn’t show up at all.
But so much for wishes, hopes, and dreams.
“Hey, you,” Marcus said to Nikki, and then stood beside her and locked his fingers inside hers. Then he said, “Hey, Jill.”
“Hi.”
“Your boy went to the restroom…oh, here he comes now.”
Jillian turned and saw Kyle coming toward them.
“Hey,” he said when he walked in front of her.
“Hey.”
“So, did you guys just get here?”
“Yep. A few minutes ago.”
“Cool. That DJ is bumpin’.”
“I know.”
The four of them stood and listened to the next song being played, one of Usher’s, but before it ended, Nikki pulled Jillian to the side.
“I’m out of here, girl. See you when I see you.”
Jillian wanted to plead with her one last time, but she knew it was no use. Although there was one bright side to all of this. If Kyle was right about Marcus planning to have sex with Nikki one last time and then dump her, that would mean Nikki wouldn’t have to worry about him hurting her again. Of course, she would be hurt this one time, but Jillian would help her get through the whole breakup and that would be the end of it.
When Nikki and Marcus slipped out of the cafeteria, Kyle took Jillian’s hand. “Do you wanna dance?”
“Okay,” she told him, and felt her hand sort of trembling, because a slow song was playing. Although at least the DJ seemed to have turned the volume down quite a bit. She’d danced a number of times with boys on fast songs but never a slow one, and she could only imagine what her father would say if he found out about it.
“I really do like you a lot, Jill,” he said as soon as they took their first couple of steps.
She wanted to respond but couldn’t find the words.
“Did you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“And you really like me, too, right?”
“Yes.”
“Well, that’s why I’ve been thinking about something all week, but I don’t know how you’re going to feel about it.”
Jillian’s nerves radiated, and she didn’t like the sound of what he’d said. What if he now wants me to have sex with him? “What is it?”
“Are you sure you want to hear it?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Is it something bad?”
“No. I think it’s something good.”
“Then tell me.”
A Deep Dark Secret Page 7
