by Nicole Dykes
“What do you mean?”
“He died in a car accident on his way home that next summer.”
“Good.” I mean that, and no part of me feels guilty about it.
She gives me a weak smile. “He had a lot of pills and alcohol in his system. The only way I knew about it was because my mother called to ask me to come to the funeral.”
“Jesus,” I breath out. “She has some serious fucking balls on her.”
She nods, sniffing. The tears stopping momentarily, her gaze is locked on me. “I just hung up on her. I haven’t talked to her since, but I was relieved. He can’t hurt anyone else.
I hate that her mother got away with it. In my eyes, she’s just as accountable.
“I’m so sorry, Van.” Lame, I know, but I honestly don’t know what to say.
“Don’t be. You showed me more love in the one year we had together than I’d experienced my whole life. Not to mention, because of you, I have the Monroes in my life.”
I grip her face in my hands, “That’s why you can’t leave, Van. They are your family. You deserve to have that.”
She smiles and places her small hand on one of mine. “I’m not running away. I’m not disappearing, I’m just taking a break. I’m going to the wedding. I’ll go to holidays as long as they keep inviting me. And eventually, I’ll learn to be okay being around you and Dani.”
Fuck. I completely forgot about Dani during this conversation. “It should be me that steps away for a while and gives you space.”
She smiles sweetly. “No, it’s already done. I have a place to stay and I’ve talked to Brooke. Besides, I’m already all packed.” She tries to lighten the mood.
I wish she would have told me. Just came to me and told me every-fucking-thing when Krista told her that lie. I don’t know if it would have changed anything, but I was so bitter and confused by not having a clue as to what happened that I really fucked everything up. There’s no way she’ll trust me now.
“Do you think we’ll ever be able to be friends, Van?”
She nervously bites her lip, her shiny eyes looking past me. “I hope so. Right now, you should just focus on Dani. You two have an actual shot at being happy.”
I drop my hands from her face. “You aren’t damaged goods, you know.”
That gets her attention. “I kinda am. Relationships without trust don’t work, and I have no idea how to trust.”
This whole situation is terrible. “You can learn, Van. Not everyone is bad, you trust Hannah. Eventually, you’ll be able to trust others.”
Just not me. Luke was right, why would she trust me when all I’ve done since we broke up was fuck around.
My fingers claw at my hair. I’ve fucked up so badly.
“I hope you’re right.” Her hand finds mine. “You didn’t deserve what I did to you.”
I look at her completely shocked. “You didn’t do anything to me, Van.”
“I did. I pushed you away. I didn’t want to give you a chance to talk me out of it. But I couldn’t stay away from you. I tortured you, selfishly, because I only felt whole when you were around, but then I pushed you away. Every time.”
“That’s not your fault.”
She smiles and kisses my cheek before standing up. “I should get back to Hannah’s. Big day tomorrow.”
She’s shutting down again. I can feel her shields going back in place.
“You can stay here.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t. I’ll see you tomorrow at the wedding.”
I nod, plastered to my spot on her bed, unable to move. She gives me a weak wave of her hand before she turns and walks out.
As I think about it, I realize I lied. Knowing her secret doesn't change anything, it changes everything.
Chapter 41
Dani
“Jesus, Cassie. You look so perfect. Like straight out of one of those high fashion wedding magazines,” I say, as Cassie and I stand in front of the big-ass mirror in her hotel suite.
She really does makes a beautiful bride. I wasn’t bullshitting her or just doing my maid of honor duties. Her white wedding gown is fit for a princess. Her blonde hair is swept up with a beautiful lacey veil. Her makeup is sheer perfection.
Cassie is beaming as she says, “Thank you, Dani! You make a beautiful, maid of honor.”
I laugh, checking out my own reflection. Of course, my bridesmaid dress is pink, but at least she chose hot pink. It’s long and flowy, but strapless. She did a good job.
I fluff out the skirt of her gown. “Cassie fucking Monroe. Tying the knot.”
“I know. It’s so crazy. I never thought I’d get here. I can’t wait!”
I grin, a ridiculously happy smile spreading across my face. “I know, you and Hunter are pretty perfect for each other. It’s like you were made for each other.”
Cassie giggles and pivots to look at me. “Look at you, being all romantic. Things must be going really well with Cam.”
There’s that goofy smile on my face again. Just at the thought of him. “They are. I almost can’t believe it. I haven’t let myself feel for so long, Cass.”
She places a hand on my shoulder. “I know you’re scared. But Cam's a good guy. He’s not going to hurt you.”
I give her a weak smile. Despite my better judgement, I have fallen head over heels for Cam. We’ve been doing all the normal couple stuff and I’ve been enjoying the hell out of it.
“There’s always this nagging feeling about him and Van though. I think he'll always love her.”
Cassie shrugs, “Maybe, but she’s a part of his past. You’re his future. He really cares for you.”
He hasn’t said he loves me though. Of course, neither have I.
“Speaking of Cam . . . . . .” Cass says and nods her head in the direction of the living room of the massive suite. Cam just walked through the door, and my stupid heart just skipped a beat.
Cass and I are in the bedroom, but the door is wide open. Cam, dressed in black tux, strides in our direction.
Damn, he fills out that tux nicely. It hugs his muscular arms and ass, showing them off.
He waves hello to both of us. “Ladies, you both look gorgeous.”
Cassie is beaming again. “Thanks Cam! You aren’t here to tell me Hunter is chickening out, are you?” she jokes.
Cam chuckles, easily. “Nah, I couldn’t talk him out of it, Little Monroe,” he winks.
She rolls her eyes playfully. “That’ll be Mrs. Thompson to you in about three hours.”
He nods his head obediently. “I guess that has a nice ring to it.” His hand gestures in my direction. “Actually, I’m here to borrow your maid of honor for just a second. I promise it won’t take long.”
I look at Cass for permission only because it’s her big day and I love her like a sister. Anyone else, I wouldn’t bother and would already be out on the hall.
“Okay,” Cass says.
“I’ll be right back,” I say and let Cam lead me out of the suite, past the rest of the wedding party, including Vanessa who’s currently getting her makeup applied by Alex.
When the door closes behind us, I waste no time and wrap my arms around his neck. I stand on my tip toes and kiss those full lips. I missed him last night, even though I was having fun hanging with Cassie.
His arms wrap around my waist as he kisses me back. It’s gentle, and hot, but at the same time feels a bit off. I pull back, my hands still on his shoulders, looking into those dark blue eyes of his. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He releases me and grips the back of his neck with his hand. Yeah, something is definitely off.
“You sure?”
He gives my lips another quick peck. “Yeah. Maybe I’m still shocked Hunt's getting married today.”
I nod my head slowly. “Yeah, it is kind of bizarre, but awesome.”
“Yeah, they really love each other, he says, his eyes going to the closed door. Then back to me and his smile has returned. “Anyway, I better get
back to the guys. I just wanted to say ‘hi.’”
I smile. “Hi.”
“Hey.” His lips go back to mine briefly. “I’ll see ya out there.”
“Yup. See ya then.”
He leaves and I go back inside, an uneasy feeling settling in my gut.
I don’t have time to think about it though because everyone is buzzing around the room getting ready for us all to leave. Cass and Hunter are getting married in the same field that Brooke and Dylan were married in, so we have to get going soon.
All of us gather in the living room, and Brooke pops the cork on a bottle of champagne. “All right ladies, let’s do this.”
Brooke and Alex quickly pass out champagne flutes and fill them. We all quickly move together, forming a circle. I’m oddly wedged next to Cassie and Vanessa, who of course looks gorgeous in her dress that matches mine.
Brooke holds up her glass first, “Cassie, you went from this sassy little teenager, to a beautiful woman seemingly overnight. I hate that your mom isn’t here today, but I know she’s watching. And from everything I’ve heard about her, I'd say she’s proud as hell.”
I see tears welling up in Cass's eyes at the mention of her mother, and can see Brooke is also on the verge of tears.
“You guys, no crying. Save the makeup.” Alex says.
Cassie laughs and then looks at Brooke with total admiration. “Thank you so much, Brooke. I do wish that my mom could be here today, but I’m so happy that I have all of you here to hold me up. She would have loved each and every one of you.” Her eyes scan the circle of women and then land directly on Brooke again. “Thank you for being there for me through my awful teenage years.”
Brooke laughs. “They weren’t so bad. Besides, you were my only ally at the beginning, my sweet, Cassie.”
Now we all are tearing up. The things this family has been through, would make most people give up. Not the Monroes. No. They give fate the finger and come back stronger every time they get knocked down.
Alex waves her hands in the air, “Ah fuck it. I’ll fix the makeup.” A tear slides down her cheek. “That was beautiful, and you make a gorgeous bride. You’re going to be so happy.”
She gives Cassie a big hug, and Cass is full on crying now. “Thank you, Mrs. Shriller.”
Alex pulls back and dabs at her eyes, “Wow. I’m still not used to that.”
We all laugh, high on the moment.
“We should probably get going,” Brooke says, tilting her glass to Cassie. “To a beautiful wedding and a happy marriage. We'll be here for you anytime you need it. You have our love and support. Congrats, Cassie!”
“To Cass and Hunter! Love ya, girl!” I say, tilting my glass to her.
“To Cassie and Hunter!” everyone says in unison.
After that, we gather everything to head to the place my best friend will become a wife.
I can’t help, but to wonder if it’ll ever be Cam and me. It’s early to be thinking about a wedding. I’m not insane, but it’s strange because I allowed myself to think it may be a possibility.
I shut down after what Tanner did.
Somehow, Cam made me feel again.
Chapter 42
Cam
“You okay?” Hunt asks me as he adjusts his bow tie. We are in one of the extravagant tents out in the middle of nowhere, where Cass and Hunter are getting married.
This particular tent is for the men. There is another one for the women at the other end. Then, there’s a massive one set up for the reception.
It’s the same setup as Brooke and Dylan’s wedding. Fuck. I remember that wedding well. Van was my date that night.
I’ve never had more fun at a wedding. She was so free and happy. I remember her making Hannah dance with her.
I can’t believe she was harboring such a dark secret all this time. How did she do it? She’s officially the bravest person I know. And here I thought she was a coward.
I shake it off and clap Hunt on the shoulder. “Of course, I am. I should be asking you that.”
“I’m great. You seem off,” he says.
Luke, who is chilling in one of the folding chairs in the room, agrees. “You really do. Something happen with Dani?”
“No,” I say honestly. Things couldn’t be better with her.
Hunt eyes me suspiciously. “With Van?”
I look guilty, I know I do. “Not really.”
“Holy shit, Cam. What did you do? Tell me it didn’t involve your cock,” Luke says, springing up from his chair.
“You sure do take an interest in my cock, Monroe,” I say trying to change the subject.
It doesn’t work. “What’d you do asshole?” he asks, deadly serious.
“Nothing. I swear. We just talked.”
“She got back to our place awfully late,” Luke says and folds his arms over his chest. That gets Hunter’s attention and he turns to me, an accusing look in his eyes.
“We talked for a while. Nothing happened. I wouldn't do that to Dani.”
Luke is studying me, but looks satisfied. I turn back to Hunt. “You ready for this?”
“Yep,” he says, no hint of nervousness.
Just then, Dylan, Jax, Shriller, and Michael bust in and join us.
“All right boys, it’s almost time to get the show on the road, so let’s toast this thing,” Jax says holding up an expensive bottle of scotch.
“Wow. You guys didn’t have to do that,” Hunt says.
Dylan hands out red solo cups. “You’re a good man, Hunter. You deserve the best scotch.” Jax pours a shot for both of them, and Dylan wraps an arm around Hunt. “Of course, if you prove me wrong and hurt my baby sister, I’ll kill you.”
Luke raises his cup. “Same here.”
Michael holds his up, not like it’s his first taste of alcohol. That kid has been getting in a shitload of trouble. Sober and not so. He nods his head in agreement at Hunter.
Jax nods, setting the bottle down after pouring everyone's. He holds his up. “So fucking dead.”
Shriller holds his up. “They’ll never find the body,” he says with a smirk.
I hold mine up, “To Choirboy and little Monroe. Don’t hurt her, because I don’t think you and I can take all of these motherfuckers.”
Everyone laughs as we all take a shot.
Dylan gives Hunter’s shoulder a squeeze, “In all seriousness, I can’t imagine a better brother-in-law.”
“Aw, I’m getting all teary eyed over here,” Jax says.
Dylan raises his middle finger in Jax's direction and says, “All right, I’m gonna go. See ya all up there.”
Dylan’s pulling double duty at this wedding. He’s a groomsman, and he’s also walking Cass down the aisle and giving her away.
He leaves, and then the wedding coordinator comes in to tell us it’s time.
We all leave the tent and line up at the front of the aisle. There aren’t a ton of people here, but it’s a decent-sized wedding.
The music starts and the girls start filing in. Charlotte’s first. Then little Gabby, who is starting to look like a preteen, followed by Alex, then Brooke. Hannah’s after Brooke.
Then Van.
All of the air is removed from my lungs when I see her—that beautiful, delicate face, her long hair curled, but left down, the hot pink dress hugs her slim body perfectly.
She’s the epitome of breathtaking.
Her eyes lock on mine as she walks in what seems like slow motion. My eyes don’t leave her, not even after she’s in place and it’s Dani’s turn.
I know I need to turn my head, but I’m in some sort of trance. When Dani joins us, I force myself to look at her. She’s beautiful too, but it’s Van that continues to pull my eyes toward her.
The music changes, and everyone stands, and I finally find a way to snap out of it and turn to look at Cass like everyone else.
She’s the picture perfect bride as Dylan walks her down the aisle toward her new life with Hunter.
I’ve never
seen my best friend look happier than he is in this moment, and I couldn’t be happier for him.
Dylan officially gives her away by answering the preacher’s question and then takes his spot as groomsman.
When they get to the vows, Hunters are good, but it’s Cassie’s that has the audience captivated.
“Hunter, you came out of nowhere and changed me forever. I lost my parents young, and it’s no secret that I spiraled out of control for a while.” I notice Dylan shifting in his stance at that. “But I firmly believe they became my guardian angels. As I look around at this bridal party, I know without a doubt you were all put here by my wonderful mother. I don’t believe in accidents. I think everything happens for a reason, and you, Hunter Thompson, were put in my path to save me.”
My eyes search for Van at Cassie's words and hers are already on me, full of tears. My chest tightens at the sight, and I would give anything to strip her of all the pain.
Cassie continues, “You made me feel like I deserved better. You gave me the gift of self-worth, and you lift me up instead of tearing me down. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life married to you.”
With the conclusion of vows, the preacher declares them husband and wife. While everyone is watching the newlyweds kiss, I’m watching Van.
Hunter and Cassie take off down the aisle, and it’s my turn to escort Dani. When I hook my arm in hers, that’s when I notice her eyes are shimmering with tears.
And I don’t think it’s from the ceremony.
Chapter 43
Cam
After what seems like hours of posing for wedding pictures, we all make our way to the reception area where the rest of the guests are waiting.
Dani and I didn’t say a word to each other as we took pictures.
I hate myself in this moment. I’m in a lose-lose situation and feel totally helpless.
Van isn’t an option. I know that, but it didn’t stop me from staring at her like a total asshole through the entire ceremony.
I really care for Dani, but what I’m doing isn’t fair.
When the bride and groom are announced and everyone is told to eat, that’s when Dani takes the opportunity to slip out.
I need to face her. I owe her at least that, so I quietly follow, trying not to draw any attention to us.
