"I'm not sure," I said, trying not to make eye contact.
"Well what time does he normally get in?" Sebastian asked, "I mean…do you have plans or something?"
"No," I said, trying to choose my words carefully, "No plans. But I told you I'm still trying to work things out with Robert and I can't exactly do that if I'm off with you,"
I looked at him then, hopeful that he wouldn't bring up the whole 'you did this to both of us' fact. He didn't look angry though, he looked thoughtful and puzzled.
"Well, has he agreed to work on things?" he asked, his words seemed chosen with the same care as mine had been.
"Not exactly," I said.
"Prussia, I'm not trying to be pushy, I'm not," he said, "But I don’t understand..."
"I don't see him," I said, "He never comes home. And when I do see him, he's usually already in bed sleeping and we don't talk...we leave notes instead of talking," I wanted to cry as I said the last part.
"I see," he said.
I waited for him to say more but he just sat there chewing on that stupid apple. My eyebrows went up and my eyes got big, expecting him to say more. He must have taken my hint because he spoke up again.
"I just mean," he said, pausing and thinking for a moment again, "absence makes the heart grow fonder?"
I could tell that he tried to suppress his laughter. I couldn't blame him entirely. I knew he wanted Robert out of the way. I'm sure he wasn't devastated to hear that Robert was not at all upset about our accidental breakup.
"Thanks," I said, "Not helpful,"
I walked over to the sofa and plunked down, wishing I could build another fort out of blankets and just barricade inside forever. Sebastian walked over to the sofa and I scooted over so he could sit next to me, which he did. He placed a friendly arm around me and gave me a gentle hug.
"I'm not sad that he's ignoring you," he said, I rolled my eyes, "But maybe you need to start doing to him what he's been doing to you. You're the only one waiting around on him. I don't see him waiting around on you. If you get up and go do stuff then maybe he'll start to notice you're not going to wait around forever. I know I wouldn't ever keep you waiting,"
I looked up at him then and immediately realized that had been a risky move. His face close to mine and I looked up right into those gorgeous eyes that had nothing but kindness and care in them. I forgot what I had wanted to say and my mouth parted ever so slightly.
His eyes had the smallest flecks in them that were mesmerizing. The colors contrasted beautifully and made his eyes look like something you would only see deep in the heart of the ocean. His lips brushed mine gently and I could feel his hand brushing my hair away from my cheek and pulling me closer.
My heart melted and for just a moment I forgot about Robert. I wished we were both barricaded onto the sofa with mountains of blankets and pillows but for a whole lot more than sulking. When he finally pulled away from me, my lips tried to follow and then I remembered.
I remembered where we were, who I had been waiting for and that I wasn’t supposed to be encouraging Sebastian. Sebastian stood up from the sofa and offered a hand to help me up.
"Are you ready, then?" he asked.
"Ready?" I asked.
"To go to dinner," said Sebastian, "Victoria will be thrilled to hear that you will be her new consultant,"
My cheeks flushed with where my mind had thought the conversation would go and I looked away from him to gain some composure. I smoothed out my clothes and took his outstretched hand briefly to help me up from the sofa.
"Of course," I said, "Yes, I'm ready when you are,"
Chapter 14
“Did you get a new car?” I asked, noticing that the sleek luxury automobile was different this time.
The paint is what gave it away mostly. I could tell it was a luxury car and that it was red whereas his other was black, but if you wanted anything more specific, you were grasping at straws.
“Yes,” he said, visibly tensing as he opened the car door for me.
We had a dinner date, with his grandmother as usual. I tried to think of it as a work function since I would be working for Victoria from now on. And I wasn’t exactly in a position to decline a ‘date’ considering Sebastian wanted to forever hold my lies and mistakes over my head.
"What happened to your other car?" I asked.
I didn’t get in the car. I just waited for an answer since it looked like he wasn’t going to give one. Eventually, he gave in and answered.
"It's in the shop," said Sebastian, irritated now.
I couldn’t tell if the irritation were a result of my questions or the car being in the shop. I didn’t care but I wished I hadn’t even brought it up. It had been a casual observation that had popped out of my mouth. I wasn’t all here, wondering where Robert had been spending his nights…and days, too.
"Well, I like this one more. It suits you," I said. I had no idea what kind of car suited a person. To me this one looked exactly like the other. But perhaps it would smooth his ruffled feathers.
I gave him a sideways look as I got into the low sitting luxury car. Whatever had happened to his car must have angered him. I didn’t pry, mostly because each question had him angrier. I tried talking about the weather until we got to Victoria’s for dinner. By the time we got to the house he was his normal charming self. Now I just wondered how charming and warm Sebastian could be so upset over a car. Throwing fits over toys was not at all sexy in my eyes. What had really happened?
Victoria was all hugs and kisses when we finally got to the house. She really was expecting me. She made me feel like a favorite grandchild. She rushed me away from Sebastian and into the dining room as soon as she had her arms around my arms. I couldn’t say I really minded. He seemed distracted.
We were finally all seated and Victoria continued to chit-chat nonstop. For an old woman, I thought she would have gotten at least a little winded by this time. Of course, she was just warming up.
"Sebastian tells me that you're considering the consultation position," said Victoria, "I am so pleased!"
We hadn’t been sitting down very long. I had only just poured a glass of wine. I was ready for an onslaught of questions and gabbing but only because it came with salary and benefits. I would still need wine if this was going to be my profession. It could always be worse, I told myself. I could be unemployed. I couldn’t imagine how I could possibly get fired from gossip committee either.
"I'm surprised that you have a position open," I said, "And would consider me at all,"
"But of course!" said Victoria, "Sebastian was right to choose you. I'm so scatter brained lately that I didn't even think. How obvious that we should spend more time together, it will hardly feel like work at all!"
"Can you tell she's excited?" asked Sebastian, he winked at me, "As she said, it was very obvious, I can't take much credit,"
"Well, I will try my best. I have no idea what consultation really is but I'll try," I said, my parched lips encouraging me to have more wine, "Am I needed tonight, then?"
"Of course not," said Victoria, "We'll get you settled in the morning,"
"But-" I started to point out Sebastian's insistence that I was needed this evening.
"Grandmamma is right," said Sebastian, "First thing in the morning," he smiled at me and I took another sip of wine. I was starting to feel the wine.
It wasn’t long before we were talking about the roaring 20’s or some other era with cheaper booze, better music and bands that could play. As nice as Victoria was, I couldn’t help feeling that this was wrong. I sipped my wine and laughed at her jokes and stories but I felt like an imposter. I wasn’t part of the family. And I shouldn’t even be an employee. I didn’t belong.
Eventually the night wound down and Victoria mentioned some late meetings she had scheduled. I thought it odd but Sebastian seemed to think it was perfectly normal and we finished up dinner with small sweet coffees and some sweets. It was a perfect evening. Impostor or not, I could g
et used to this kind of feeling. It felt like what a family should feel like, warm, intimate, cozy.
Sebastian went to get the car and had me wait in the entry way. The house was very quiet at night. The marble made an echo noise with my noisy clopping around in heels so I tried to stay still. But every few moments I would make a noisy clop just so the silence wouldn't creep in. I knew I had only been waiting a handful of seconds but I found myself wondering what was keeping him. It was a bit creepy how silent it really got when you didn't move. I didn't notice anything at all until a light breeze come through the entry way a few minutes later.
I turned to see if Sebastian had opened the front door to collect me but what I saw was a person I had not expected to see coming in. Lydia had on an evening gown that looked nearly identical to the one that Sebastian had gotten me for our first date.
I noticed immediately that it wasn't an exact copy and that mine had looked better though her dress was a close second, it didn't have the hand beading or beautiful crystal details. It looked like the beading was cheap sequined material, form fitting of course.
"What are you doing here?" asked Lydia with her air of snobbery that attempted to emulate but didn't achieve class or sophistication.
"I was invited to dinner which is over," I said, "Party crashing?"
"I have business with Grandmamma," said Lydia, she twirled a piece of her hair as she looked me up and down.
I had nothing else to really say to her and didn't want to be anywhere near her. Her presence reminded me that Robert was her play toy and I hadn't been able to do much about it. Mostly I thought about ripping chunks of her overly teased hair out of her head and making her cry but I refrained.
"Do you still work for the family, then?" I asked, trying to make small talk.
"Are you still pretending you belong, then?" she asked, her eyes getting sharp.
I got the impression she didn't like me prying.
"Lydia," said an even toned voice that commanded attention. I jumped a little. It was Victoria.
"Grandmamma," said Lydia, bowing her head a little and curtsying and then straightening up.
"Victoria," said Victoria, seeming to correct Lydia. Lydia's face lit up in surprise at the correction.
"My Lady, Victoria," said Lydia, curtsying again.
"Wow," I said, "You are all so very formal,"
"It takes some getting used to," Victoria said, coming and placing a gentle hand on my arm, "But with a little practice I think you'll find it can be a lot of fun,"
Lydia's face didn't say she thought it was fun. But I guess that made it even more fun. I didn't get the impression that Victoria really wanted to spend much time with Lydia if she could help it.
Sebastian came in the door then, it looked as though he had raindrops on him. It must have started raining while we had dinner. His face was neutral as he passed by Lydia and offered an arm to me. Victoria gave me a big smile and patted me on the arm, a gentle pat.
"You two kids drive safe," said Victoria, looking at me and then Sebastian.
She gave Lydia a glance and I followed her gaze to find that Lydia was giving me a very unhappy, downright pissed off look.
"We will," said Sebastian.
"How's your car?" asked Lydia, with a bit of attitude in it. It sounded like an inside joke reference.
Sebastian looked at her with the same look of neutral indifference, not rushing his answer but taking his time. It seemed to take a bit of steam out of Lydia's attitude as he took more than a few moments to answer.
"Car?" asked Victoria.
"It's in the shop," I offered, not enjoying the extra time with Lydia at all.
Sebastian just kept looking at Lydia who continued to stare at him with a look that tried to match his indifference but had a definite element of squirm factor in there.
"Oh," said Lydia, "How sad to hear. I know how much you love that car,"
"Sad, indeed," said Sebastian, "I never thought I would grow out of love with it either. But Prussia points out that my new car suits me and I happen to agree."
Lydia's face didn't hold a neutral look anymore. She shot me a dirty look and her lip started to quiver in what looked like her trying to conceal a snarl. It made me uncomfortable, especially with Victoria near by. I wouldn’t want her to accidentally get hurt by this lunatic all because Lydia's unstable and hates me. I tried not to wince or look away but it was hard to stare at a crazy person. It reminded me of looking into a light too long. All I could see was crazy.
"Well, Thank goodness," said Victoria, "You spent too much time in it. I always thought that car was a death trap,"
I hadn't expected that. I looked at Victoria and my face must have only expressed surprise because she put her hands up as if I had accused her of something.
"It's true!" said Victoria, laughing some, "He would go off gallivanting in that car and I just knew he would end up killing someone with all of that recklessness or worse, getting himself killed,"
I looked at Sebastian then and he seemed as surprised by Victoria's statements.
"Grandmamma, I really don't think that it was that dangerous-" Sebastian started, but Victoria hushed him.
"Now, now, it's getting late," said Victoria, giving Sebastian and I a slight push toward the door, "No more talk about recklessness and death. Go do what young people dating do but you make sure to get this young lady home at a reasonable hour," she waved a very grandmotherly finger of warning at Sebastian.
When Victoria opened the front door she must have realized it had been raining.
"Oh, dear," she said, turning to look at Sebastian, "Be a doll and go get an umbrella for Lady Prussia," And Sebastian looked to me and then gave his grand mother a kiss on the cheek and ran to find an umbrella.
I gave a quiet giggle to the unearned and undeserved title but still enjoyed it.
"Lady?" questioned Lydia with very little hidden disgust in the question.
Victoria's gaze snapped to Lydia and Lydia instantly bit her lip. It looked like regret if I ever saw it.
"Go wait in the Chancellor’s office." said Victoria coldly, "We will get to our business in a moment,"
Victoria and I both stared at Lydia as she huffed a bit and then walked out of the entry down the long hall towards where I assumed was the Chancellor's office, whoever that had been.
"Makes you wonder what he ever saw in her," whispered Victoria near my ear.
I jumped, startled, as I hadn't realized that she had moved close to me and we were both watching her saunter unashamed to some office in the quiet but large house.
"Who?" I whispered back, no sure why we were whispering to begin with.
"Certainly you know that they dated for many years," said Victoria, pulling her face away from mine as I turned to face her and she looked at me curiously, "No?"
"Who?" I asked again, less of a whisper this time because I wanted to be perfectly clear on who exactly had been dating Lydia for many years.
"Sebastian," said Victoria, realization setting in now that she had let a cat out of the bag, a nasty cat with claws and lots of unruly hair and boyfriend stealing attitude.
She might as well have dumped a cold bucket of water on top of me.
"Yes?" asked Sebastian, standing in the entry way with an umbrella. He must not have been standing there very long if he was wondering why his name was being said.
"Just wondering if you had gotten lost, is all," said Victoria, that familiar smile returning to her face.
Sebastian looked at me with a puzzled look and I didn't have time to process it all. Victoria had just told me that Lydia and Sebastian had dated for years. Not a summer fling or a weekend romance, they had been a couple for years and no hint as to when it had ended.
Sebastian and I stepped out of the house and he held the umbrella for me like a gentleman. All the while, I was wondering how he could guilt me into anything when his boyfriend stealing ex-girlfriend was the entire reason I had tried to date him to begin with to get my o
wn boyfriend back. Who the hell did he think he was? And did he have a motive all his own? Sebastian dropped me off and walked me in. I went straight into my apartment and shut the door right in his face. I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t know what to say. I just felt angry and hurt. The feeling plagued me until I curled up and fell asleep, alone as usual.
Chapter 15
Prussia, for whatever reason, had been distant and cold this evening. I had thought dinner had gone well. I wanted to stay and continue tapping on her door and saying her name, trying to talk to her about what I had done, but I had a meeting with the Queen still. I couldn’t be in both places at once. I made sure a guard stayed but I had to go. Whatever her problem was, I would have to deal with it later.
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