“I know,” Anthony said with a sigh. “So, what now? Do we continue to protect Maura, or do you have everything well underhand?”
“I can handle everything from now on.”
A knock sounded at the door and a footman came in. Morris handed him the note and then closed the door once more before speaking. “Parents make mistakes.”
“Your mother being a…woman of pleasure and Maura’s father locking her away for a decade are not the same.”
Morris’s gaze narrowed. He likely knew what Julius was about to call his mother. A whore. She’d slept with half the young men of the ton before she’d married once more a few years ago. She’d embarrassed Morris, who’d been trying very hard to gain his party’s respect in Parliament. Julius had little time for politics, but even he understood how the woman had belittled her son’s efforts.
But it wasn’t the same. Morris could not compare himself to Maura.
Even still, Morris went on, “You’ve still not answered my question.”
Julius stood. “Are you feeling some sort of guilt toward your own children? Is that what this is about?” Morris and Sophia had twin boys.
“One day,” Morris said. “You’ll become a father and you’ll understand that while you always wish to do what is best for them, you will be wrong a few times along the way.”
That hit Julius right where Morris had likely hoped, the heart, nearly rendering him speechless. He wanted to say that he’d never be a father, but then he recalled what he’d just done an hour ago. It was his greatest fear that he’d mess up. Even more than Maura’s madness, he feared his own. It was clearly in his blood, inherited from his mother. He knew he’d stab himself in the heart before he took his own child’s life, but what if he did something equally horrible to his child?
He blinked. “What was your question?”
“If Maura wishes to help her father, will you allow it?”
“No.” The baron would be lucky if Julius allowed him to visit for holidays. “Would you?” He didn’t know why he’d asked his question. Perhaps it was because Morris had been married for nearly three years and Julius was new to this venture.
“If Sophia wanted to do it, I would allow it,” Morris said. “Though she’d never be alone.”
Julius could imagine it. Morris would stand as Sophia’s personal soldier against danger, but it was the Brothers’ way to allow the Spinsters to do as they please. It seemed to ensure that everyone got along well.
Julius closed his eyes, groaned, and prayed Maura didn’t force him to choose.
* * *
chapter 46
* * *
“May I speak with you alone?”
Maura was not at all surprised that her father found her after dinner. While the women were to go to the drawing room, the men were to head to the parlor. The moment Morris had pulled Julius to the side, she knew her father would take his chance, a chance he’d not had all evening.
Dinner had just finished, and Maura was sure it was the most awkward meal she’d ever partaken of. Between the Spinsters and Brotherhood, meals had been some of Maura’s happiest moments. It was an easy group of people who enjoyed laughter and were not afraid to express their passions for things or even each other. But tonight had been quiet.
Her father had stared at Maura the entire time, but whenever he tried to speak to her, Julius would cut him off and not even Maura’s hand on her husband’s thigh under the table had been able to stop him. Soon, everyone had broken into their own conversations, their expressions strained, and one look into her mother’s saddened gaze and Maura knew she’d have to do something about the divide in her family.
Maura stared up into her father’s eyes and took a hesitant breath, still unsure of her feelings at the moment.
Adrian went on, a forced smile on his face, even though she could see how troubled he was. His eyes couldn’t hide it. “Please.” He touched her arms. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. Surely, you could spare her father an hour? I know that things haven’t always been the best between us, but we had good years before the incident, did we not?”
Maura found it easy to remember the eleven years before she’d gone to Bedlam. She and her father had been happy once, yet even then, she could remember how often he’d been gone. Still, she found it hard, even after all these years, to tell her father no. So, she nodded and took his arm, allowing him to guide her into one of the many drawing rooms in the house, separate from the one that the women had convened in moments ago.
After spending a great portion of the last two years working with the women at the Spinster Home, Maura had learned one thing: no one was perfect. Everyone made mistakes. It was simply a matter of how well someone could hide them and for how long.
For ten years, Maura had been locked inside of Bedlam and there had been moments when she had thought she belonged there. The days that Albion appeared were the worst until she’d learned to speak to her ghost in a calm manner, until she’d truly realized he’d not come to hurt her. But more often than not, Maura had wanted out. When her father had visited, she’d cry for her release, but until she lied and said she no longer saw Albion or thought him real, she remained at Bedlam.
Her father settled her on a couch in the red and cream room. A few lamps burned, giving the room a warm glow. Even still, Maura wanted to tuck her fingers under her thighs in an effort to find warmth.
Adrian had just settled when the door opened, and he was forced to stand once more.
Julius was there. He didn’t even bother to look at her father. “Maura, you’re supposed to be with the women.” Then, finally, her husband’s gaze turned to Adrian. “And I believe our host is waiting for you in the parlor with the other men.”
“Lord Darvess,” Adrian began with slight annoyance. “If you would allow it, I’ve not seen my daughter for three years and have come all this way just for her.”
Julius stepped into the room and closed the door. His usual dandy-like stance had been traded in for that of a Roman centurion. At the moment, he seemed larger and more dangerous “You didn’t come all this way to see Maura. You came for your golden man, which has nothing to do with my wife.”
Adrian turned his dark gaze to Maura. “You know that isn’t true. Tell him, darling.”
Maura sighed through her frustration. She’d grown annoyed over dinner, she was annoyed this moment, and the pain of the past would not leave her alone. “Julius, I would like to have a moment with my father.”
Julius’s brows rose, but the action was so quick that her father might have missed it. He’d assumed Maura would obey, but she thought docile obedience a ridiculous thing to allow Julius to expect from her. After being free for three years, Maura knew she’d never be a meek woman again.
Julius turned to Adrian. “You may have your moment, but I want to speak to Maura first.”
She was astonished at his words.
Adrian bowed, resigned. Then he walked out of the room.
Julius closed the door, crossed to her, and took her hand.
Her gaze settled on their locked fingers in disbelief. She’d expected a reprimand from a man who was used to getting his way, but instead, he said, “I don’t like him, but I know my feelings for him could be very different from yours.” He stroked his hands over hers. “But promise me you won’t help him search for that silly statue.”
She lifted her gaze. “I slept very well this afternoon… thanks to you.” Slipping one hand from his hold, she reached out and touched the edge of his hair and let her fingers move down his hard jaw. She was glad when he didn’t pull away. He was her husband, but she wasn’t sure if he was hers to touch when she pleased. She knew, even with their attraction, that this wasn’t a love match… on his part at least.
His gaze narrowed some even as she saw color tint his cheeks. His lips twitched, but he kept the humor from his voice. “What does this have to do with your father?”
She’d not seen Julius when she’d woken up hours a
go, but her things had been in his room along with her screen. She’d changed and then went in search of her father but had learned from Sophia that both her mother and father had returned to their rooms at an inn in town and would journey back for dinner in the evening. She’d also told Maura that she’d extended an invitation for them to bring their things and stay as long as they pleased. Sophia had known Matilda for years and even though no one knew how to feel about her father, her mother had never done anything wrong.
After a moment, she let her hand fall. “I slept so well that when I awoke, my mind seemed refreshed and I was able to see my situation very clearly.”
Julius said nothing. His lips no longer fought a smile as he waited grimly for her response.
“I need to help my father find the statue, but not for him, for Albion.”
His gaze narrowed slowly. “The ghost?”
She sighed. “Well, not necessarily for the ghost, but for myself. If it is a ghost, perhaps it will leave me alone once I put some effort into looking for the statue, and if he’s not a ghost, then the same results might take place. Either way, I want to do this.”
His nostrils flared. “There’s a chance that if we’d not married, your father would have used you on this hunt and then placed you back into Bedlam. Did you think of that once you woke?”
She moved closer to Julius. “I did, but it doesn’t matter. I’m married to you. My father can’t do anything about it anymore, not while I have you.”
Julius grabbed her head between his hands, clearly struggling with what words to say.
Maura prepared herself for battle. She’d say whatever needed to be said, do whatever needed to be done so she could…
“How long do you think this will take?” Julius asked.
She stilled and for a moment she found it hard to think of a reply when her mind had been filling with nothing more than rebuttals. “I… don’t know. Not long. It’s only Lorena’s house he wishes to search, the old Lawrence home. It shouldn’t take more than a day.”
He tightened his fingers right before he released her and stood. “Very well, then we’ll get this over with as soon as possible. We’ll leave in the morning.”
She blinked. “You’re being quite reasonable at the moment.”
He bent and leaned over her, trapping her on the couch. His face aligned with hers, less than a breath away. “I can be a reasonable husband if I choose to be.” His eyes darkened. “And it just so happens that I, too, had a very good afternoon.”
Maura smiled as he walked over to the door and allowed entrance to her father.
Adrian looked between them.
Julius turned to Maura. “I’ll see you later.” Then he left nearly as quickly as he’d come. Maura was surprised that he’d agreed to let her do this when he’d seemed so adamant about keeping her away from her father.
Adrian settled a hand at the back of the couch and turned toward her fully. He looked troubled and Maura noticed just how much he’d aged. It wasn’t just the graying of his hair, but there were lines around his mouth and eyes. She wondered how much the stress of her condition had affected his appearance. “I didn’t think I’d ever have a chance to speak to you again… and maybe I deserved that. I have to admire a man who would stand by you with such ferocity. Perhaps, if I’d done the same thing…” His voice grew tight. His topaz eyes glittered like gems. “If I’d stayed and taken care of you instead of sending you away...”
She looked down at her hands as her heart rocked in her chest. Her eyes began to fill with tears.
“I want to loathe the marquess, but I can’t. He’s doing what any man in love would do.”
Maura lifted her chin and her mouth spoke before her mind could stop it. “He doesn’t love me.”
Her father gave a look of disbelief. “He may not have said it, but no man fights so passionately for something he doesn’t care very greatly about.”
Maura shook her head. “We’re only friends.”
Her father reached out but then balled his hand into a fist and put it back by his side. The action seemed to pain him and hurt Maura just as much to witness.
He cleared his throat. “If he only saw you as his friend, he would not make efforts to keep reminding me that you are his wife.”
She looked away as a blush rose. Julius did seem to enjoy calling her his wife and immediately her mind was filled with his every whispered word when they’d consummated their marriage. Could her father be right? Did Julius’s feelings for her go past friendship and lust? She wasn’t ready to accept it just yet.
She touched her father’s knee. “Julius wishes for us to begin the hunt for the statue immediately.”
Adrian seemed startled. “He’s given you his permission to come with me to London?”
She shook her head. “Julius will take me. He’s coming as well.”
Her father smirked. “Of course, he is, hija. The man acts like a guard to his queen. It is how it should be.”
Maura rolled her eyes but smiled.
Her father’s arm came around her and he pulled her into an embrace before he kissed her hair. “I’d have wanted to be with you even if he’d said no. You are my daughter and I love you.” He kissed her hair again. “I want nothing but your love in return.”
Maura’s arms went about his waist. “You have it. Always.”
He made a contented noise before he pulled her closer. “And, of course, you could name at least one of your sons after me.” She could hear his smile. He’d meant it in jest, but Maura had lost all sense of humor at those words. Julius didn’t want children. Lorenzo was his heir.
It was something she’d like to discuss with Julius again, yet something told her that it was not a battle she would win so easily. Her husband was still bound by his past and though Maura had tried, she didn’t know how to break the heavy chain that held him so fiercely.
She buried her face in her father’s chest and decided to celebrate the victory of a battle and worry about the war tomorrow.
* * *
chapter 47
* * *
Their trip to London was delayed since Vicar Clement had been called away, and Julius refused to leave without their signatures on the marriage license. Since the first night of the marriage, Julius had made love to his wife too many times to count. He’d become addicted to the feel of her flesh in his hands and soft moans. Morris had given them use of the dowager house, which had been empty since his mother’s second marriage years ago. Julius had kept Maura with him the entire time, forbidding visitors, and making no apologies for his hunger for his wife.
He’d waited for her, he realized. It had been too long since he’d had another woman, and he couldn’t deny his happiness at having someone who was entirely his, bound to him until death. Her vows made her his alone and he tried to leave his mark on every part of her while her soft lotus scent was embedded into his skin.
Maura took hold of his hair as he pressed his mouth in the valley between her thighs. Her screams came muffled when her legs locked around his head, blocking his ears. He ran his tongue over her lower lips, parting them and sucking at her peak. Her essence poured into him like an endless river. She was always wet.
She rocked against him in earnest as she came. Then she collapsed and tugged his head harder, forcing him to meet her eyes.
Her skin was flushed. Her face moist with blond curls stuck to her cheeks. Her rosy mouth parted and swollen. Her eyes were the soft blue of country skies. He’d never seen a more beautiful woman.
Holding her gaze, he lowered his jaw and flickered his tongue over her again.
She gasped and yanked his head again. “Julius.” It was a purr of bewilderment and desire. “No more.”
He leaned his head against her thigh and watched her. His hands stroked over his stomach and up her thighs. Heat lifted from her damp body and circled him. “All right,” he murmured and realized just how content he would be to remain right where he was for the rest of his life.
&n
bsp; She smiled gently and then, in a move that surprised him every time she did it, she turned away and pressed her face into the pillow. After everything they’d done and everything he’d done to her, his marchioness was still capable of embarrassment. It was adorable, but he a few more sessions of debauchment would change that.
He kissed her special place one last time and then jumped back onto his knees before she could retaliate. He caught the pillow that had been aimed for his head and grinned. “You know, violence is quite unladylike.”
She turned her to look at him. His eyes ran down her body, taking in every pale inch of skin. Her voice, however, forced him to look at her eyes once more. “Well, I didn’t always live in the nicest of places.”
Julius’s smile fell. He set the pillow aside and crawled over toward his wife before he gathered her in his arms. She came to him willingly, her expression remained guarded, however. Her time at Bedlam was not something she discussed with him, which had always left him to guess why Maura was the strange woman that she was.
He ran a hand over her back. “Are you referring to your time in Bedlam?”
She nodded, watching him just as much as he was watching her.
He massaged her between her shoulder blades and watched her expression soften. Her eyes became hooded with pleasure. “You know nothing you say will change us, don’t you? You can trust me.” Whatever she said couldn’t be worse than he imagined it.
She closed her eyes. “It was a very strange place. The… doctors and guards were polite, but I didn’t like the treatments they did to me.”
Julius made his face a mask of indifference though inside he felt many things, one of the emotions was silent rage. “What happened?”
“Cold water baths, bloodletting until I felt faint, buckets of ice.” She looked away from him as if the memories were close enough to touch. “They were trying to… fix my mind.”
Julius pulled in a breath and then another before he grabbed the back of her neck and forced her eyes to meet his again. “That will never happen to you again.” And now he had yet another task to take care of when he reached London, making sure Maura’s ‘polite’ guardians were punished. “Did your father know this was taking place?”
Maura’s Special Spinster’s Society (The Spinster’s Society) (A Regency Romance Book) Page 17
