I’m falling for her…
The thought almost took my breath away. It wasn’t a casual kind of falling either—I was in deep. So much so that if I tried to let her go, I’d lose a piece of myself as well.
I didn’t necessarily want it. For her sake, not mine. I knew from the beginning how lucky I’d be to call her mine.
But there were some people who pulled you in, who made you laugh and feel and forget all about the plans you had. Ellie was one of those people.
“I’m glad you’re not invisible,” she said after a while. “I’m glad I met you. You’re one of the few people who see me.” Her shoulders rose and fell.
I frowned, bringing my fingers up to trace her jaw. “The girl who everyone forgot,” I whispered. It was a tragedy and made no sense to me. How anyone wouldn’t crave her company, how they could ever forget her—or want to.
“The boy who wished to be forgotten.” Her words were just as soft. “We’re quite the pair, aren’t we?” Ellie asked on a laugh, and it wasn’t as somber as one would expect. I smiled back and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear.
“I wish I’d known you back then.” Ellie’s eyes turned sad when she looked down at her lap. “Maybe we could have saved each other…”
Using my index finger, I pushed her chin up until her gaze was on me once again. “Maybe we still can.”
Damien looked ready to jump out of his skin by the time I drove Ellie back to the apartment. It wasn’t long after our confessions that she started worrying about Andy. She was willing to try and stay longer, but I didn’t want her to sit there and feel any worse.
Her brother had the door flung open when we were halfway up the stairs. I wasn’t surprised Naomi had confided in him. And even though he was shooting daggers at me, I was glad he knew because Ellie would have never told him.
She rolled her eyes, not questioning his knowledge, before saying she was going to check on her son.
“She wasn’t ready,” he said as soon as she left, Naomi trailing behind her. The words were harsh and angry. “You shouldn’t have let her talk to them.”
“What could I do? Throw her over my shoulder and carry her out of the store kicking and screaming?” My words were sarcastic and my tone was most definitely taunting.
He glared. I wasn’t sure why I was being such a dick. Damien and I wanted the same things. However ridiculous it would have been, I’d wanted to caveman carry her out of there and protect her from any harm. Maybe I had said it that way for my benefit as much as his.
We couldn’t treat her like a child. Even if protecting her was all we really wanted, we had to be careful about how. I’d once told him that treating her as if she were fragile just reinforced her parents’ words, that she was helpless. At the time I’d barely known her, but now I could see how easy it would be to get sucked into that trap.
“She can’t lean on you forever,” I tried to remind him, attempting to make my tone calming. Instead of pacifying him, he seemed to get angrier.
“But she can lean on you? Did it make you feel like a big strong protector to be able to comfort her?”
No. Because she had been mad. Hurt. Devastated.
“I—”
“Stop it,” Ellie cut me off. We both turned to find her glaring at Damien. “It wasn’t his fault.”
“Talking to them was a mistake, Ells.” The gentle words soothed her and her shoulders slumped.
“I know, okay? But some mistakes people need to make for themselves. You talked to Mom earlier this year when I was pregnant. I didn’t know what she said, all I heard was your side, and it wasn’t good. Still, for the past few months, especially since Andy was born, I’ve been struggling with the urge to drive over there. I know it’s stupid. But I saw them and I had to try. If not for me, for Andy. Right?” Before we could say anything, she continued. “That was my thought when I went over to them. It was obviously a mistake, but I would have always wondered. Today it’s hard. Hopefully in the future I’ll have peace knowing I did what I could.”
Stunned.
That was the only word to describe Damien’s expression. I was sure it was reflected on my face as well.
“Okay. Then I’m proud of you.”
Ellie smiled and then nodded my way. “And I believe you owe Grayson an apology.”
It wasn’t necessary, but I wasn’t going to tell him that.
Damien had become somewhat reluctant around me. He may have approached me a few months back, asking me to watch out for his sister, but once he saw how close we were getting, he became skittish.
The only conclusion I could draw was that he was nervous about me hurting her. I was nervous about failing her too, but at this point I couldn’t stop seeing her even if I wanted to.
I may have sought Ellie out because he asked, but the second she swung open the door to their apartment and I saw her standing there, I was hooked.
With her fair and clear skin, and long, light blonde hair, she was so simple and unassuming, it had been hard to imagine she was struggling with an addiction.
I’d never forget that moment as long as I lived. I felt something surge in me, almost like I was being brought back to life. But Damien didn’t know any of that.
He only saw his sister. And the man who could hurt her.
Ever since I ran into my parents last weekend, Damien, Naomi, and Grayson kept looking at me like I was close to cracking. I could tell they thought I was lying every time I told them I was okay.
But I really was okay.
It surprised me, too. Maybe it was the chaos of a newborn, maybe it was the support system I had in place now, or maybe I really was getting stronger. All I knew for sure was that I wasn’t destroyed by their words.
The fact that Damien had walked into the apartment four days ago and announced we were moving certainly gave me something else to think about. Apparently he’d been looking for houses to rent ever since Naomi moved in with us, and he recently found a place he thought we’d all loved.
He was right.
Naomi and I met him at the prospective house the next day, and we fell in love with it immediately. It was two stories with three bedrooms and two baths.
I’d only moved one other time in my life. Six years ago when Damien took us out of our parents’ house. He never called it ours, and he refused to call it a home. So even though it felt a bit strange in my mouth, we always said “our parents’ house.”
Soon we’d have a home.
“Hey!” I jumped as Naomi plopped onto the couch beside me. “Sorry,” she said with a laugh. “I thought you heard me come in.”
“Obviously not. Where were you again?”
“I had lunch with Derek.”
My lips pulled down. “How’s he doing with Sam gone?”
Naomi shrugged, her eyes sad. “He says he’s fine… I don’t know, I’ve never seen him so low. It wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t have Rory there reminding him of her absence.”
“Rory?”
“Her dog. She left him with Derek.” She shook her head and propped her feet onto the table. “Part of me thinks he’s punishing himself for waiting so long to admit his feelings for her.” Naomi frowned and started picking at the fray on one of the pillows.
“Are you okay?” I asked. It seemed like she was down about more than just her brother.
“Yeah. I got a paper back today and I didn’t do as well as I thought.” She shrugged but she seemed really bummed about it.
I suddenly felt terrible. Since I’d had Andy, I hadn’t had much time to talk about anything else. I still saw and spoke to Naomi and Damien, but almost every conversation revolved around me and the baby. I had no idea how either of them were doing, and they were both in the process of some big life changes themselves. Naomi had started law school a few months ago, and Damien was still juggling two jobs in an effort to provide for all three of us. In fact, I already knew he was taking money out of his savings fund to rent this house. Naomi and I felt guilty because he was saving that money
for his own tattoo shop, but he assured us this was what he wanted.
I hated it, but he insisted. I didn’t argue too long because a) I knew he liked his jobs and b) he wouldn’t have changed his mind anyway.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
She frowned. “Why?”
“I’ve hardly had any time to ask how you’re doing.”
“You shoved something the size of watermelon out of your vagina less than three months ago, and now you’re responsible for keeping him alive—I think you have a pass.”
Smiling, I weaved my arm through hers. “I still want to know how you’re doing.” And it wasn’t as though I was solely focused on Andy. Grayson was taking up some of my time too, so I really couldn’t use my son as an excuse.
“It’s challenging,” she admitted. “I love it, I do. It’s just a lot in the beginning. I’m still finding my bearings.”
“Well—” I started only to be cut off by the doorbell.
“I’ll get it.” Naomi popped up and jogged to the door. My head fell back against the couch, and I’d just closed my eyes when I heard…
“Hey, Grayson.”
I sat up straight and ran my hands down my shirt, dispersing any stray crumbs from the bag of Cheetos I’d been eating earlier.
“Ellie?”
Looking up, I saw the two of them standing there as I combed my fingers through my hair. I winced when I went to let go. Of course I would get stuck on a knot. Naomi appeared to be stifling a smile while I brought my other hand up and disentangled my fingers from my hair.
It seemed every embarrassing moment had to happen in front of Grayson.
“I’ll leave you two alone to talk.” Naomi surrendered to her grin before she winked and turned toward the hall.
“Wait!” I jumped up and threw Grayson a smile before walking her way. “We were talking. I can ask him to leave—”
“Don’t you dare,” she interrupted, her voice just as soft as mine. “I don’t feel neglected, Ellie. I’ve been busy, too. Go have fun with your boy toy,” Naomi teased.
I looked back and found Grayson’s eyes on us. My entire face felt red by the time I faced Naomi again. Before I could speak, she leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “I know, you love me.” Then, with a wide grin, she spun around and disappeared.
Closing my eyes, I silently counted to five before turning toward Grayson.
“Sorry about that.”
He cleared his throat and gestured to the door. “I can go if this is a bad time.”
“No. Not at all. What’s up?”
“I have the day off. I thought maybe we could do something.” Grayson shrugged, looking more uncomfortable by the second.
“Yeah. I-I’d love to.”
I watched my words roll over him, releasing the tension in his shoulders, smoothing out the skin between his eyebrows, and causing his lips to tip up. It was the soft boyish grin that never failed to make me lightheaded.
“What’d you have in mind?”
“I thought the three of us could grab lunch.”
“Okay. Let me go grab Andy. He’s napping.” I heard Grayson’s footfalls behind me as I walked in my room.
Andy’s eyes fluttered open as soon as I lifted him from his crib. A wide, toothless smile split his mouth as he laughed. He immediately reached for my necklace.
“No, no, baby.” I gently grabbed his hand, brining it to my lips and blowing a raspberry on his palm. Andy kicked his legs, his joyous shriek echoing through the room.
“You’re amazing with him.”
“He makes it easy,” I said, keeping my eyes on Andy.
“I’m sure that’s not always the case.”
Turning my head, I grinned. “True, but these are the moments I want to focus on.” I walked to the changing table and put Andy on his back.
“How are you doing?” Grayson asked. I froze. I didn’t have to be looking at him to know he wasn’t asking a general question. This was about my parents.
“I’m okay,” I said as I unsnapped the bottom of Andy’s onesie. “I wish you all would believe me.”
I startled when I felt his hand on my arm. “I believe you, Ellie.” He tilted my chin up so I was looking in his warm, brown eyes. “I’m not saying you’re not okay. I just need to know you’ll come to me if you’re not.”
I couldn’t move, and could barely breathe. But somehow I found the power to. “I will.”
Grayson smiled before taking a deep breath. “Look, Ellie, I was wondering—”
Andy wailed and started wiggling his legs. Grimacing, I said, “Hold that thought?”
I turned back to my son. “Sorry, buddy.” I leaned down to kiss his head before lifting his leg and kissing the side of his foot.
I never did find out what Grayson was going to say. Damien came home a few minutes later and the words seemed to retreat into Grayson.
But I could see the question burning in his gaze for the rest of the afternoon.
WILL YOU GO OUT with me?
It was simple. Easy. And yet the question had been sitting heavy on my tongue for nearly two weeks.
Halloween came and went, and unfortunately I had to work. But Ellie sent me a picture of her and Andy dressed as Wonder Woman and Captain America, respectively.
I loved it as much as I hated it. Because it was another reminder about how I hadn’t had a minute alone with her in the last fourteen days. I’d seen her, but that was only to help her move. Damien and Naomi were always nearby.
Right now we had a rare moment alone. Her brother and his girlfriend had just stepped out to pick up dinner for all of us after we finished unpacking the last of the boxes in their new house today.
Please let this be the last time someone moves for a while…
Andy was sleeping in his bouncer nearby while an exhausted Ellie plopped down on the couch.
“You know what you need?” I asked suddenly, afraid I’d chicken out otherwise.
She lifted her head from where it’d dropped on the back of the couch. “What’s that?” she asked with a smile.
“To go out.”
Ellie froze, and I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Before she could say anything, I continued, “You need a break. A night out. Between your parents and the move and constantly looking after Andy… things have been pretty stressful. Let’s get you out of the house.”
She swallowed roughly before asking, “You and me?”
The whole holding-my-breath thing made it hard to speak, so I nodded.
“Okay.” Ellie grinned. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
I exhaled, my own smile forming. “How’s Thursday? I work weird hours the next three nights, but I have a dayshift on Thursday and should be off in time to pick you up for dinner… around seven?”
“Sure.” She laughed and shook her head, almost like things were happening too fast.
It wasn’t because I was worried about her changing her mind; I was simply ready for a real night out with her. She was probably expecting me to pick Friday, but I didn’t want to wait a day longer than I had to. With today being Sunday, I already had to wait almost four days.
It wasn’t until I left that I realized I hadn’t technically asked her out the way I’d wanted to. If I was being honest, I’d been too chickenshit to call it a date.
But she had to know… right?
I felt like it was written all over my face, how badly I wanted this girl.
The next few days would feel like the longest of my life, but I’d get through them, and then finally… finally I’d be able to take her out the way I’d been dying to.
It’s not a date. It’s not a date. It’s not a date.
The chant was useless. I hadn’t been on many dates. In fact, all my “dates” began with us going through a drive-thru and ended with us almost passed out in the back of the guy’s truck. I never really remembered any of the details in between.
And yet, despite my limited knowledge, despite telling myself it wasn’t a date, my hear
t wasn’t getting the clue. Neither was Naomi. She was insistent that Grayson wanted to make it a date but was too nervous to say so.
So when she dragged me into her bathroom and sat me down to do my hair and makeup, I didn’t argue. My smile widened as I watched Naomi in the mirror.
We were silent while she curled my hair, and I took that time to look over my face.
I didn’t think I was ugly, but I’d never felt quite as beautiful as I did right now. My skin was clear, with just a dab of concealer to hide the dark circles under my eyes courtesy of Andy, and my makeup was soft.
All Naomi did was put on a small amount of peach blush and a bit of mascara. It wasn’t a lot, but since I never wore makeup, it felt like I was a whole new person.
My gaze moved down, looking at my outfit. I was wearing a dark green skirt that flirted with my ankles and a white tank top covered by a white long-sleeved see-through blouse that was loose on my frame.
I brought my hands to my stomach, as if I could quell the butterflies taking flight within. I was nervous, but I was also more excited than I’d been in a long time.
Naomi finished a few minutes later. My long blonde locks had a beach curl to them, and half my hair was pinned to the back of my head.
When we walked downstairs, Naomi was practically skipping down the steps. I was sort of afraid she’d break her neck. But she made it down safely and jogged to the front room where Damien was playing with Andy.
My feet had just reached the last step and I heard her announce, “May I present, Miss Ellie Harrington.”
With a grin and a slight shake of my head, I turned the corner and walked toward my family. Damien stood up, his lips tipping into a smile.
“You look beautiful, Ells.”
“Thank you.” I started fidgeting under their stares. “Quit it,” I mumbled, walking over to my son.
“Hey, buddy.” I bent down and picked him up. He giggled and began slapping my neck, one of his favorite things to do. When he made a move to pull on my hair, Naomi came around and took him from me.
“No, no, no. That hair took thirty minutes. Bad baby.” She tried to be stern but Andy’s constant laughter made it impossible for her. “You’re gonna be such a little troublemaker, aren’t you?” she asked.
Unveiling Fate Page 11
