by Zoe Matthews
Serena wanted to argue with Paul about being left in a hotel, but she then realized it was the best thing to do for John. In the end, she kept silent and followed his instructions.
She spent the rest of the day in the hotel room. She knew that Paul was going to ask the sheriff about the possibility of any missing children. She had not talked to Paul yet about keeping the boy if they could not find his parents. Serena hoped she would be able to talk to him about it soon, but she also knew he had a lot of responsibilities with the care of the cattle and the selling of them. She knew she would need to be patient.
Later that evening, Paul arrived to have dinner with them and Serena was glad to see him. She was starting to become very bored.
John had gone to bed by this time for the night, so Paul ordered room service for them both.
Serena decided to take this opportunity to talk about John’s future. “Were you able to talk to sheriff?” she asked him as they waited for their dinner to be delivered.
Paul nodded his head. “No one has reported a missing child, as far as he knows.”
“Well, we will just have to take him back with us,” Serena announced.
“Now, Serena,” Paul started to argue. “Don’t you think it would be better if we left the child at the Children’s Home? Maybe his parents are looking for him and they would find him there easier than with us.”
“No child should have to be raised in an orphanage,” Serena stated firmly. She felt very strongly about this. She refused to leave John behind like that.
“I know that you lived in one,” Paul said. “But this would be different. Most likely, it would be temporary.”
“And what if it isn’t?” Serena questioned. “There is no guarantee he will be found or if he even still has parents. We really don’t know what happened to him or why we found him like we did. What if something happened to his parents?”
****
Paul sighed and ran his hand through the top of his hair at Serena’s words. He was discovering that having a wife was sometimes difficult. Serena was very strong-willed and did her best to convince others to think as she wanted, yet he also had seen that she was very loving and cared for others. She did a great job caring for John and Sam when he was ill. Serena did little things to make his own life easier such as making sure he had a plate of food the minute he arrived to camp for each meal. She made sure he always had enough and was not hungry when he was done. One night, Curly had made some apple cobbler. She had saved a large bowl of it for him and gave it to him later that evening since he hadn’t made it back in time when the dessert had been served.
She was polite to all the cowboys and even to the other woman that had joined them, even though she had been very rude and patronizing to Serena.
Paul was not regretting his choice in a bride, but he did wonder what it would be like not to have to argue through every decision that needed to be made.
“Can I tell you something about my childhood?” Serena asked and Paul nodded although he felt surprised at her request. He had thought she had told him everything about her life in the orphanage.
There was a knock on the door and Paul opened it to accept the meal of fried chicken, potatoes, gravy, and peas that he had ordered. There were also yeasty rolls and a large piece of chocolate cake to be shared.
After they had arranged the food on a small table in the hotel room, said a prayer over the food and then started eating, Serena repeated her question.
“Yes, I would like to know everything about your childhood,” Paul responded around a bite of juicy fried chicken.
“My mother was an actress who acted in Shakespearean plays. She raised me until I was three years old. At that time, she had been given an opportunity to act in some plays in Europe. She decided to go and left me in the New York orphanage since her new director would not allow her to bring a child with her to Europe.
“I think it was supposed to be a temporary situation. I don’t remember much about her, but I do know she came to visit me once about a year after she left me there. She paid for my care there. Since I was not officially an orphan, I was not given the opportunity to be adopted by a new family. I had a mother. When I was five years old, all contact stopped from her. No one knows what happened. Six months later my status was moved from having a mother to being abandoned, but by then it was too late. Most people who want to adopt a child want a young child or even a baby. I was too old.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Paul responded with sympathy. He knew she had had a very different life than he had as a child. He had never doubted his parents loved him. He had always been wanted and he had two brothers. They had inherited a large ranch, enabling him to live the type of life he loved. He could not imagine having to live most of his life in an orphanage wondering what was going to happen to him.
“It wasn’t too bad, living in the orphanage,” Serena continued to explain between bites of her dinner. “Anna and Katrina made it bearable. We truly see each other as sisters. Anna had been at the orphanage the longest. She was abandoned as a baby. Katrina came to live there when she was six years old. We have been together ever since.”
“How were you treated in the orphanage?” Paul asked because he had heard horror stories of life in orphanages.
“The women who ran it were strict. We sometimes had barely enough to eat. I remember many nights going to bed hungry. But we weren’t abused. Our needs were met the best they could be, yet we were not loved. No one is loved in an orphanage.”
Paul winced at her words. He knew where this conversation was going and he knew she was going to fight to keep John with them instead of taking him to the city orphanage.
Serena was looking off in the distance. “All I ever wanted was a family to call my own. A mom and a dad who wanted me.”
“What about the family that took you in Texas? Didn’t they become your family?”
“Not really,” Serena shook her head. “They had three younger children and I really think they took me so I could help them with their kids. They owned a bakery in town and ran it together. I spent most of my free time helping them with their kids.”
She conveniently had forgotten how things were better with the Nelsons the last few months she was there. She had believed for so long she was not very important to them that she still continued to believe it.
“I’m sorry,” Paul said again. He was not sure what else to say.
Serena shrugged. “They were kind to me. They didn’t over work me or anything like that. My needs were met. I was allowed to go to school and church. Circumstances worked out that Anna and Katrina were taken in with families in the same town, so we were able to stay together. They just never became the family I always wanted. Maybe by the time I was taken in by them, I was too old. I don’t know.
“I am not telling you this for your sympathy. I have learned that life happens a certain way no matter what you do. I just don’t want to leave John behind in an orphanage. I think we should leave messages around the city at different businesses that we have him and then take him with us back to the ranch. We can care for him adequately. If his parents are looking for him, they will know we have him and they can come to us to get him.”
Serena stopped talking as if choosing her next words carefully. “If we can’t find his parents, I would like to keep him and raise him as our own.”
Paul was not surprised at Serena’s words, especially since he now knew her whole history. She had never had a family and she did not want John to have the same experience. He found himself nodding at her suggestion in agreement. They would keep John for now.
Serena smiled in delight and reached over to hug him. “Thank you,” she whispered in his ear. Paul pulled his head back to look at her and realized the feelings he had throughout the cattle drive had developed into a deep love for her. He then bent to kiss her like he never had before.
CHAPTER 11
Serena spent the next day by herself with only John for compa
ny since Paul needed to finalize the shipping and sale of his cattle, but Serena did not mind. She spent the morning playing with John. During the afternoon, she went around to some of the nearby businesses letting people know about John, and if his family were looking for him, where he would be. Paul joined her for dinner at the hotel, but spent the night with his men. He had already paid the men that were working for him temporarily. He was planning to send the men who worked year round at the Big Spring Ranch on home without him early the next morning, along with the wagons full of supplies. Curly would also be going back to the ranch since Paul had recently hired him to be the cook for the hired hands on the ranch.
Early the next morning, Serena decided she needed to talk to Paul about what she had overheard on their wedding day when he had turned down the wedding gift. Even though she was glad she insisted on going on the cattle drive and she felt like she had gotten to know Paul better, she knew she was holding part of herself back from him because of what she had heard. She needed to hear from Paul that he did not regret his decision to take her as a mail-order bride. She was determined to talk to him that evening after John was put into bed. She was very nervous for the conversation. What if he admitted that he had been having second thoughts on that first day and had married her out of obligation?
Paul arrived later that morning having already eaten an early breakfast with his men before sending them off to the ranch. He had purchased a newspaper and after greeting Serena, settled in a large chair to read it. Serena tried to allow him the time he seemed to need to read, but suddenly she could not stand it any longer.
“Paul, I would like to talk with you,” she announced to him, her voice shaking as she spoke. She could not believe how nervous she felt.
Paul looked up over the paper and opened his mouth as if to put her off, but something must have clued him in from her face because he folded the paper and put it aside.
“Come and sit by me,” he invited. “Did you want to talk about John some more? Because if so, I don’t think we need to. I did agree to bring him back with us.”
“This has nothing to do with John,” Serena said as she shook her head.
“What is it then?” Paul asked when Serena did not continue talking.
“On the day we were married, I overheard you talking to Alex.”
“Yes…..” Paul prompted her, looking confused, when she did not continue.
“Anna and Katrina had left to go to the church and I had come down the hallway of the reverend’s home thinking you would be alone waiting for me in the parlor. But then I heard you talking to Alex. He tried to give you a wedding gift and you refused it.”
“Yes,” Paul smiled a bit at her words. “Luke and I had given Alex the same gift when he married Anna.”
“But you refused it,” Serena said again.
Paul looked very confused. “Just tell me what you are thinking.”
“I would like to know why you didn’t want to accept the gift and take me to the hotel for our first night together. I am wondering if you were having second thoughts about marrying me. Did you go ahead and marry me anyway only because you had already committed? Because you had to?”
“No, I married you because I wanted to. I did not want to accept the gift because I felt we needed time to get to know each other first. True, we wrote many letters over the last year, but writing letters is different from actually spending time together. I didn’t want you to be forced into doing something you might not have been ready for.”
Paul took her hand while he was talking and continued. “For the record, I did not give the wedding gift back to Alex. I kept the money to be used in the future. You have to remember that I did not know you would want to go on the cattle drive with me. I thought you would have wanted to stay behind with Anna and Katrina. I felt since we would have been separated for these long weeks, that it would be best to start our marriage officially when I returned.”
“Do you regret that I insisted on coming with you?”
“At first I didn’t think it was a good idea. I do believe that most women should not be on a cattle drive. But you have handled it well. I know Curly was grateful for your help. I do not regret you came with me.”
“I am glad that Anna, Katrina and I are back together,” Serena admitted to him. “But the main reason I came to Montana was to marry you. I have always wanted a real family. Do you think we can ever be one someday?”
“I think we are a real family right now,” Paul leaned over and gave her a kiss with his words. “I have an idea about the wedding gift. When we return to the ranch, I will take you to Pine Valley for a few days. We will have a real wedding trip.”
Serena’s heart swelled with joy. She did not expect Paul to feel the same way she did or to even understand. Suddenly she realized that over the last few weeks, she had learned to love him very much.
****
Serena and Paul left Bozeman the next day and headed for home. Paul had already sent the men and Curly on home and so they traveled by themselves. The trip home took less time than it did when they were traveling with the cattle. Paul told her he estimated that they would be home in about three to four days, depending on how fast they traveled.
Serena enjoyed the time alone with Paul. They were both on horses and Paul kept John with him. They also had a horse that carried all of their food and supplies to get home. They did not hurry home and would stop early each night to set up camp. These were the best times of the day for Serena because after John had fallen asleep, they would sit by the camp fire and talk about many things.
During one of these times, Paul told Serena that he had come to love her and Serena was able to repeat the words back to him. As they did so, she realized that no one had ever told her they loved her before in her life and it was a nice feeling to finally find love.
Early on the third morning, a man rode into camp. Serena was busy making oatmeal for breakfast and Paul was packing up supplies on the extra horse. John was sitting on a rock nearby playing with some sticks and leaves, along with the carved horse one of the cowboys had given him.
“Howdy,” the man called as he entered their camp. Serena watched Paul greet him with a handshake as they exchanged names. He introduced himself as Isaac Walton. She saw the man look at John and immediately his face lit up.
“Ben!” he called with joy and ran over to the boy. The child’s face also lit up with recognition and joy and he yelled out “Pa,” lifting his arms as he did so to be picked up.
Mr. Walton picked him up and cuddled the child in his arms. “I can’t believe I have found you. We have been looking all over for you.”
Paul and Serena exchanged glances during this reunion between father and son. She knew her time as a temporary mother had come to an end.
“I take it you know this boy,” Paul smiled as he stated the obvious and the man tried to keep his emotions under control with the joy of finding his son.
“This is my youngest son, Benjamin,” Mr. Walton said. “My wife has been sick and one afternoon while she was resting, we figured he must have woken up early from his nap and wandered off looking for me or his two older brothers. We have been looking for him for days. We thought….” Mr. Walton did not finish his sentence. Both Paul and Serena knew what he had thought. When a small child was lost in the mountains, the ending probably would not have been good.
“We found him about five miles from here,” Paul told the man and explained to Mr. Walton how Serena had found the boy and had cared for him. Mr. Walton told them that he had run into a group of cowboys the day before who let him know his son had been found and was being cared for by Paul and Serena.
While Paul and Mr. Walton were talking and exchanging information about Ben, Serena’s eyes filled with tears and she turned her back. She was happy the boy had been found by his father of course, but she realized and admitted to herself that she was hoping that the situation might have been different and she could have kept him and raised him. She had started t
o love the child like her own.
However, Serena admitted to herself that deep down, she had known Ben had a family all along. Even though he was scratched and bruised when she found him, she could tell that he had been well cared for.
Serena heard footsteps coming behind her and quickly brushed away her tears before turning around. “I am much obliged, ma’am. Thank you for caring for Ben.”
Serena nodded at his words. “He is a very sweet little boy. It was not a problem. I am glad we found him and we were able to care for him until we found his family.”
Paul invited Mr. Walton to join them for breakfast, but the man wanted to get Ben back to his wife as soon as possible. Just that quickly they were gone.
Both Serena and Paul were quiet after they left. Serena was wishing she could have held John, or Ben, one more time, but she also knew it would have made it harder to let him go. She knew that things had worked out for the best.
