“I meant what happened between us. I hurt her.”
“You hurt her?”
Grady nodded. “I hit her.”
Cassidy stared at Grady. He didn’t look like the violent type. Hearing him say that he hit his girlfriend made her feel uneasy, but she knew that she was there to help him and not judge him. “What makes you think that she left because you hit her?”
“Wouldn’t you leave if your boyfriend hit you?”
“This isn’t about me.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s fine. What was different this time?”
“This time?”
“Yes. Most people in abusive relationships…”
“Abusive relationships! No! No! I never hit her before, I swear! I’m not like that.”
Cassidy felt relief wash over her. “What happened then?”
“We were in bed…you know, and everything was going ok until she let out a moan and it threw me back to the crash. I raised up my hand to make her stop and I hit her in the face, and she went crazy. I tried to apologize but she called me a loser and said that I was weak and pathetic.”
“Maybe once she calms down, she will forgive you?”
“Why should she? I am weak and pathetic.”
“Enough of that weak and pathetic crap! If that was true you wouldn’t have countless medals and awards. You managed to save yourself because you are a strong person, and that strength will get you through this too.”
“Where was my strength when I swallowed all those pills?”
“Grady, we all have weak moments, but we can’t let them define us.”
“But I wanted to die. I gave up. It was more than a weak moment.”
“What made you give up?”
“Fear.”
“Fear of being alone because your girlfriend left you?”
“No.” Grady looked away.
Cassidy placed her hand onto Grady’s leg. “You can tell me, Grady, what is it?”
“The darkness…it’s consuming me.”
“When you’re competing, and someone is gaining on you, what do you do?”
“I swim harder.”
“Ok, so Grady, you need to fight harder.”
“How?”
“You don’t give in to the darkness.”
“But…”
“No, buts. I’m going to get you through this.”
“I’m tired. Can you bring me back to my room?”
Cassidy hated seeing him give up. She’d let it go this time but next session she was prepared to push him further.
Weston knocked on Grady’s door. “Hey, I need to talk to you.”
“Come in.”
“Coach Harvey said that if I don’t get back soon that…”
“West, you need to go.”
“I don’t want to leave you like this.”
“I’ll be ok.”
“Yeah, who is going to take care of you?”
“Before I left the hospital my doctor offered to set me up with a nurse.”
“Are you going to be comfortable with a stranger?”
“West, you need to get back.”
Weston dropped down next to Grady. “You have always been there for me and I just don’t feel right leaving you this way.”
Grady knew that he had to be brave for his buddy. “I want you to go for me. Besides maybe I can get the nurse to help me in the shower.” Grady forced himself to let out a laugh.
Weston turned and hugged Grady. “I’ll wait until you have things straightened out and then I will go but only if you promise to call me if you want me to come home.”
“I promise.”
“I’m going to call Coach Harvey and let him know I will join them in Chicago as soon as I can.”
Weston hadn’t even left, and Grady could already feel his anxiety rising.
“So, what’s new with your golden boy?”
“Nothing. In fact, I’m not so sure that I can help him.”
Jess put down her coffee cup. “Oh, Honey, don’t doubt yourself.”
“Jess, I’ve had eight sessions with him and so far, he hasn’t made any progress.”
“Don’t give up on him.”
“I don’t want to but what if I’m doing him a disservice?”
“How could that even be? I know how much you care about him. Do you honestly think that any other doctor would care about him as much as you do?”
Cassidy grinned. “No, but then why can’t I help him for Christ’s sake?”
“I’m no doctor but…if he has this disorder thing because he can’t deal with the crash then don’t you think that maybe eight sessions seem a bit too short of a time to have a breakthrough?”
“Ok, maybe you’re right.”
Jess took a sip of her coffee. “I always am.”
Cassidy shook her head and smiled. “Yes, you are…about ten percent of the time.” Cassidy laughed.
Weston called Grady’s doctor and spoke to him about hiring a nurse to stay with Grady, but he still felt unsettled leaving Grady with a stranger.
“Weston, hey, I hope it’s ok that I let myself in?”
“I gave you a key so that you could.”
“How’s he doing today?”
“Same.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
Cassidy sat down. “Do you think that Grady trusts me?”
“I do.” Weston looked at Cassidy and suddenly it was like a light went off. “In fact, I have an idea.”
“An idea?”
“I have to head out of town for a while to join our team.”
“But Grady can’t be left alone.”
“I know and that’s why…”
“Oh no.” Cassidy shook her head.
“Please! I know that he won’t be comfortable with some strange nurse.”
“I’m a doctor not a nurse.”
“Cassidy, he trusts you.”
“Have you discussed this with Grady?”
“Not yet but I’m sure he’d be more than willing to have you move in.”
“Move in!” Cassidy’s heart was pounding at the thought of living in Grady’s house.
“Yes, at least until his family is back next month from their cruise.”
“I have other patients…”
“Maybe you could get someone to cover or we could get a nurse to come in for a few hours a day while you’re at work?”
“Weston…”
“Please. If it’s about the money I will pay you triple what you make per hour.”
“It isn’t about the money.” Cassidy placed her hand onto her cheek and looked down at the floor. She wanted to say yes but she was so afraid of the hurt she’d feel when it was time for her to walk away.
“I’m sorry. I over stepped. Forget I…”
Cassidy looked up. “If Grady is on board with it…I will do it.”
Weston grabbed Cassidy and hugged her. “Oh, thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me.”
“Grady hasn’t agreed, yet.”
“He will. Trust me, he will.”
Cassidy texted Jess while she waited for Weston to come back with Grady.
Cassidy: “You won’t believe this.”
Jess: “What? Did he kiss you?”
Cassidy rolled her eyes.
Cassidy: “NO!”
Jess: “Then what?”
Cassidy: “Weston asked me to move in and stay with Grady until his family returns next month.”
Jess: “OMG!”
Cassidy: “Yes. I’m a wreck.”
Jess: “Why?”
Cassidy: “When the time comes how will I handle leaving him?”
Jess: “Maybe you won’t.”
Cassidy: “What is that supposed to mean?”
Jess: “You never know…Grady could fall in love with you.”
Cassidy: “He won’t be blind forever.”
Jess: “Oh, Cass, stop it. You’re a beau
tiful woman.”
Cassidy: “Jess, now would be the ninety percent of the time that you are wrong.”
Jess: “Blah, blah, blah!”
Cassidy: “I have to go. I hear them coming down the hall.”
Jess: “Call me later.”
“You two talk. I’m going to pack.”
Grady nodded to Weston. “West told me that he badgered you into staying with me for a while.”
Cassidy looked up at Grady. He towered over her. Today he was wearing green sweats and as usual a tight fitted T-shirt. “I wouldn’t say badgered.”
Grady extended his hand. “Whatever it was, thank you.”
Cassidy closed the distance and shook Grady’s hand. “Don’t thank me yet, you haven’t tasted my cooking.”
“I bet you cook better than I do.”
“Don’t be too sure. I once burned a pot so badly that I had to throw it away.”
“Got me, I’ve never had to do that.”
“Don’t worry I won’t let you starve.”
“I’m not worried, Doc.”
Cassidy smiled when Grady called her Doc. He had called her Dr. Scott up until just now. She liked that he had a special name for her. “Good, because there isn’t any reason that you should be. I want you to feel comfortable with me.”
“I am.”
“On that note, why don’t you have a seat and we can get started on today’s session.”
Grady stepped back, felt for the seat, and sat. “I didn’t sleep last night.”
“Why not?”
“It was storming, and the thunder was so loud.”
“Thunder can be loud and unnerving. Especially that first clap when you’re not expecting it.”
“It reminded me of the accident.”
“How so?”
“I kept hearing the crash in my head.”
“Describe it to me.”
“It was loud. I’ve never heard anything like it before.”
“Were there any other noises?”
“Screams and moans.” Grady dropped his face into his hands.
“It’s ok.”
“I don’t want to hear it anymore. I want it to stop.”
“It may never stop completely but I can promise you that it will get better.”
“How?”
“Why don’t we start by you telling me what happened after the crash?”
Grady sat silent for a moment before he spoke. “It was dark.”
“Had you already lost your sight?”
“No. I could see my feet and I only had on one shoe.”
“What else could you see, Grady?”
Grady started to shake his head. “No! No! I can’t.”
Cassidy could see him begin to rock in his seat. She got up and embraced him. “You’re ok. I’m here. Calm down.”
“I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”
“I know you don’t but the more you talk about the crash the sooner you can put it behind you and move on.”
“Right now, I don’t feel like that will ever happen.”
“I know, but it will.”
Weston opened the door and Rylan was standing there. “What are you doing here?”
“Step aside and let me in.”
“Grady doesn’t want to see you.”
“Funny since he can’t see anyone.”
Weston attempted to slam the door, but Rylan stuck her foot inside the door. “Nice try.”
“Look, Rylan, what do you want?”
“Grady bought us concert tickets, I’m sure he doesn’t plan to attend; so, there is no sense for both of us to miss it because he is a loser.”
Weston stepped into Rylan’s path. “You want the tickets, then you stay here, and I will go get them. I don’t need you upsetting Grady.”
“Fine, but hurry. I have a friend waiting in the car.”
Weston shook his head as he ran up the stairs to find Grady and retrieve the tickets.
“Who was at the door?”
“Rylan.”
Grady sat up. “Rylan is here to see me?”
“No. She came here looking for some concert tickets you two bought.”
“Oh. I should have known.”
“Do you want me to tell her that you lost the tickets?”
“No. They’re in my desk, top drawer in a blue envelope.”
“Weston, what is taking you so long?” Rylan came flying into the room.
“Didn’t I tell you to wait by the door.”
“Weston was just going to get the tickets.”
Weston ran down the hall to grab the tickets. Rylan looked over Grady. “I see you still haven’t shaved.”
“Enjoy the concert.” Grady got up and walked to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
Weston knocked on the bathroom door. “Grady, she’s gone.”
Grady opened the door. “How could I have loved such a horrible person?”
“I thought that many times.” Weston let out a laugh.
“Thanks, West.”
“She wasn’t so horrible when you were a superstar.”
“Which leads me to the next question of how I could have been so stupid as to not see through her. She only wanted to use me.”
“Be grateful you found out before she talked you into marrying her or worse, she got pregnant.”
“Yeah, I guess I dodged a bullet.”
“Why don’t we go out for a beer before I hit the road?”
“I don’t want to go out like this, but a beer sounds good.”
“I think I’ll order us some wings and a pizza.”
“Only if I’m buying.”
“If you’re buying then I’m ordering cheese fries too.” Weston laughed.
Grady exhaled. “I’m going to miss you being here, West.”
“I’m going to miss you too.”
One week later…
“HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!”
Cassidy sprung from her bed when she heard Grady yelling. “GRADY, I’M COMING!”
Cassidy pushed open Grady’s door and ran to his bedside. Grady was thrashing and yelling in his sleep. Cassidy had to throw herself across his body to stop him from thrashing. “Grady, it’s me, Doc, I’m here to help you! Wake up, Grady!” After repeating herself a few more times Grady finally opened his eyes.
After a few moments his breathing slowed, and he reached his hand up toward Cassidy’s face. Cassidy turned so his hand ended up in her hair. “Doc?”
Cassidy grabbed onto his hand. “Yes, it’s me.”
“Will you stay with me?”
“I am staying with you.” Cassidy smirked.
“No, stay here in the bed with me?”
“Oh, umm.”
“Please! I don’t want to be alone.”
Against her better judgement, Cassidy climbed into the bed and wrapped her arms around Grady. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Maybe later.”
Grady drifted back off to sleep. Cassidy could feel the weight of his big strong body relax against hers. She closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like to go to sleep with Grady in her arms every night…not that it would ever happen.
Grady woke up in Cassidy’s arms. He didn’t remember much from the night before.
“Good afternoon.”
Grady rubbed his face. “Afternoon?”
“Twelve-thirty.”
“You stayed with me this whole time?”
“I told you I would.”
“I owe you combat pay.”
“It’s not like I worked. I slept with you. Uhhh, I mean…I have to use the bathroom, excuse me.” Cassidy flew up from the bed.
Grady hadn’t felt so safe and rested since the accident.
Cassidy grabbed her phone before she ran into the bathroom.
“Hey, Cass.”
“Jess, I slept in Grady’s bed and…”
“Oh my God! You had sex with Grady O’Malley!”
“No! Jess, I only slep
t in his bed but Jess, he was in my arms and now…Jess, I’m falling for him…hard.”
“Oh, Cass. I wish I could do or say something to help.”
“It’s ok. I knew what I was getting myself into when I agreed to do this.”
“Cass, did you ever think that maybe…”
“No, don’t even go there.”
“Why not?”
“You know why.”
“Yup, because you’re afraid.”
“I have to go.” Cassidy ended the call before Jess had time to respond.
Grady was finding his way to the kitchen when Cassidy met him in the hallway. “Doc?”
“Your hearing certainly hasn’t suffered.”
“Sometimes I think I can hear music from the cars that drive by.”
“Funny how your senses heighten when one is out of commission.”
“I would give that up to see again.”
“Coffee?”
“Please.”
Cassidy popped in a pod, turned around and Grady was right behind her. “I want you to know how much it means to me that you took care of me last night.”
“Grady…”
“I don’t think I’ve felt that safe since I was a child at home in my own bed.” Grady reached his arms out and pulled Cassidy into a hug.
Cassidy inhaled. Grady smelled so good. She didn’t want to, but she knew that she needed to pull away. “Eggs or a sandwich?”
Grady stepped back. “Did I do something wrong?”
“No.”
“You sound different.”
“I’m not used to patient contact. You caught me off guard is all.”
“Is that not allowed?”
“Staying here, sleeping in your bed, hugging…well none of it is professional.”
“I don’t want to get you into any trouble, Doc.”
“You won’t.”
“Ok, then I’ll try some eggs.”
“Last time I made them they weren’t half bad. Maybe this time they will be decent.”
“Practice makes perfect.”
Grady was in the living room in sweats, his feet up, his hair a mess and listening to music. After a while he drifted off to sleep.
Charlene the nurse the hospital sent over was sitting across from him texting her friends until Grady started to yell out in his sleep. Instead of waking him up she recorded Grady crying out for help and she uploaded it to her social media.
Deep End Page 4
