by Shae Scott
“You didn’t exactly give me much of a choice, what with kidnapping me and then promising me puppies,” I said.
“I know you can’t resist cuddly puppies. I knew it was safe,” he shrugged, showing no remorse for hijacking my day. I didn’t mind though. I was actually having fun.
“Well, pancakes and puppies could be your golden ticket,” I agreed.
“That’s the plan,” he smiled.
Dangerous ground, Ally.
“So, have you decided on names yet? Are you getting a girl or a boy?” I asked, sipping my coffee.
“I don’t know. I figure we’ll figure it out when we get there. We have to see who we warm up to, first. Big decision picking out a dog,” he said.
Why did he keep saying we. It made me nervous.
“You’re going to come home with all of them,” I predicted.
He laughed, “Maybe.”
Tammy brought us our food. Plates piled high with pancakes and bacon and goodness. My eyes went wide as I took in the stack in front of me. The plate was stacked high and covered in creamy gooey peanut butter and chocolate syrup with pieces of chocolate chips within. Then they had made a virtual mountain of sweet whipped cream on top. I was going to go into pure sugar shock. Owen laughed from across the table at the look on my face.
“Are you scared?” he asked.
“A little. You are going to hate being stuck in a car with me after I eat all of this sugar,” I warned, unwrapping my fork from its napkin hold and preparing for battle.
“Eh, you’ll crash soon enough. I can handle it.” I glanced over to his equally insane breakfast mountain. It was pretty, dotted with plump red strawberries and the other half of the can of whipped cream that was found on mine.
“Only live once, right?” I smiled.
We both dug into the food, neither speaking until we had the first bites.
“Oh crap...I just fell in love,” I cooed. It was rich and sweet and completely decedent. My tongue darted out to claim the peanut butter that had clung to my lips.
“Shit, Ally, don’t do that,” he groaned.
I laughed. “Sorry. It couldn’t be helped.” He threw a napkin at me.
“I only have so much self control when it comes to you,” he muttered, teasing.
We were dancing the line today, but I had decided not to care and for once, and just go with it.
We left the old diner and I sunk back into the truck’s passenger seat. “I need a nap,” I declared.
“I know. I don’t know if I’ll ever eat another pancake again,” Owen groaned.
“God, they were good though,” I admitted.
“Yeah. Ready for some puppies?”
I threw a smile at him, “Of course I am.”
We pulled up to the old farm about an hour later. It was spacious and beautiful and quite literally in the middle of nowhere.
“How did you find this place?” I asked as he drove down the long winding drive that led to the big red farmhouse.
“A guy from work got his dog, Jake, here. Said it was the only place to go,” he answered. As we neared a stop I let out an excited squeal as I saw three fully grown Golden Retrievers running from behind the house to greet us. They were absolutely gorgeous. He’d barely got the truck stopped before I was out of it and off to greet my new four-legged friends. Owen obviously knew the way to my heart. He’d been there long enough.
A man dressed in jeans and a cowboy hat walked out of the house to greet us. I looked up from the long haired beauty I was petting to greet him as he came towards us. ”You must be Mr. Brooks?” he smiled reaching out to shake his hand. “Glad you could make it.”
“Nice to meet you. Thanks for letting us come out. This is Ally. She’s gonna help me pick one out,” Owen smiled down at me. I stood and shook the man’s hand.
“Well, the pups are around back right now. Let’s go have a look.”
We followed him and I was practically skipping beside Owen. You’d think I was the one here to pick out a dog. Owen took my hand as we followed the man. I gave it an excited squeeze.
Puppies. So many adorable puppies. I was in puppy heaven. Yeah, this man knew what he was doing.
Little golden faces came racing over to us, each one seemingly putting on a show for why they were indeed top dog. How in the world was he going to choose?
I immediately zoned in on a little guy standing off to the side. He was smaller than his siblings, and just sitting there with a curious look on his face. It was as if he was simply studying the situation and wasn’t quite ready to jump in. Almost like he was making sure we were right for him too. I loved him instantly. Owen was surrounded by little yipping faces at his feet as he kneeled down and played with them all. I made my way over to the straggler and knelt down beside him.
“Hey, there little one. Whatcha doing over here?” He smelled my hand and glanced up at me with his big puppy eyes. He was so adorable. I sat down in the grass beside him, Indian style and waited for him to decide on how he was going to proceed. He was little, all paws and ears. He took a step towards me and then back again before moving towards me and bumping my hand with his head in an invitation to pet him. I obliged and rubbed his ears and spoke to him quietly. He looked up at me again and then put his chin on the ground in a playful stance and gave me a small bark. He grabbed my shirt sleeve and gave it a gentle tug. I didn’t even notice the crowd of spirited dogs at Owen’s feet. I was so focused on my little observer. He tugged at me for a few more minutes and then crawled right up into my lap and curled up for a nap. Right here in the midst of all this chaos he decided to sleep. I was smitten.
I looked up to see Owen watching from across the yard. He had one puppy in his arms as he walked over to me. “Who’s your friend?” he smiled down at me.
“I don’t know. He’s pretty mysterious, but I’m kinda hooked on him,” I admitted.
“It looks like he’s hooked on you too. He has good taste.”
“He’s sweet. Did you find one you like?” I asked, petting the tired pup in my lap. He wasn’t really asleep, but he was most definitely soaking up the attention.
“I’m starting to think I should get to know this little guy in your lap. We seem to have a lot in common,” he said. I picked up the puppy and swooned as he yawned at me. I handed the furball up to Owen. He handed off the one he’d been holding to me and took my little runt. He held him in front of his face, nose to nose and the puppy licked him. I laughed.
He was adorable. Puppy and man alike.
“What do you think? Did you find your new best friend?” the owner smiled as he walked over to us. I managed to get up off the ground.
“Yes sir. I think I’m gonna take this little guy here,” Owen smiled rubbing the puppies ears. I smiled. He was getting the little observer.
“Oh, yeah? He’s a special one. I’ll be sad to see that one go,” he smiled.
“I promise to take good care of him,” Owen said.
“Sounds good. Come with me and we’ll get his paperwork.”
Owen handed me the puppy and followed the man towards the house.
“Did you hear that?” You get to come home with us,” I cooed at the pup. Then, I caught myself. Us. I shook it away and continued talking to the dog as if he were a person. I told him about the farm and about Granny. I told him how Owen always left his socks on the floor and to be nice and not eat them.
We climbed into the truck and the puppy curled up in my lap. I was already attached to him. Maybe I needed a dog. “So, what are you gonna call him?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Any ideas?” he asked.
“I’m not naming your dog, Owen,” I said seriously. It was bad enough I was on this puppy quest or that he’d essentially picked the puppy that I loved the most. I had to draw the line somewhere.
“I’m not asking you to name him. I’m saying let’s toss some names around and see if something sticks,” he said. “Buster? Rocko?” he suggested.
I wrinkled my nose. I
didn’t like either of those. “No. He’s an old soul. He needs an old man name,” I said.
“Walter?” he suggested. I shrugged, that was better.
“Moses,” I laughed when I said it and he shook his head.
“Elmer?”
“Charlie,’ I said. He smiled wide.
“Charlie,” he repeated it.
I looked down at the sleeping puppy.
Shit…I’d just named the dog.
******
After my day with Owen I was more confused than ever. I had thought that maybe if I let him in a little and got to see him now that I could somehow accept that we were in different places or accept that we’d been nothing more than a fling and that would help me move forward. It was a shitty plan. I knew it when I made it. But it was my way of rationalizing things. A way for me to be close to him the way I secretly wanted and convince myself that it was for my own good. I thought I could do it by keeping a wall up around myself, let him in just enough to get over him, desensitize myself or something, but still remain hard against him.
But then he had made me smile.
He had made me laugh.
He took care of me when I was sick and he’d thrown me to the damn puppies.
I had let him in.
More than I had wanted, more than was safe.
If I’d thought that I was capable of doing this, of being friendly without risking my heart I had been dead wrong. All it was doing was reminding me of the good things that I had fallen in love with. It reminded me of all the things that I had lost and missed. It made me weak to the possibility of giving in.
I spent the next week in a state of confusion. It made me grumpy. It didn’t help that he kept sending me pics of Charlie and him with funny captions. He was weaseling his way back into my life and I was letting him. Instead of cutting him out and moving on I was just inviting him back in to see what new damage he could do.
Stupid, stupid girl.
Asshole boy.
Only, he wasn’t an asshole anymore. He was the man I’d fallen in love with. He was what I dreamt about when my guard was down. Lately, my guard was down a lot. The guard had taken a vacation and left me alone and unprotected.
I found Cassie in her office late on Friday and gave her my best pitiful look.
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked
“I need wine. Wanna go out?” I asked.
“Sure. You okay? You look perplexed. Like you’ve been thinking too much,” she teased.
“I have. I just need a glass of wine…or three…and some time with the girls,” I admitted.
“Sounds like a great idea. Want to go to Waldo’s around 8? I’ll let everyone else know. Pick you up?”
“That sounds perfect.” I was already feeling better as I made my way towards the elevator to head home. Waldo’s did sound perfect. It was low key but still had dancing if the mood hit. Either way it was better to indulge in my wine there instead of at home alone where there wouldn’t be music or Cassie to drown out my over-thinking.
I went home and changed out of my work clothes and into something a little more fun. This was what I needed. I needed to get out of this house and away from my thoughts. They always got me into trouble.
I grabbed a bite to eat so that there would be something to soak up the wine should I get out of hand. At least I was a responsible lush. I did not want the night to end with Cassie having to hold my hair back.
Cass and I got to Waldo’s just after eight and found our friends at a table near the dance floor. I saw that Ashley had brought her new guy. His name was Daniel and he was wearing an honest-to-goodness cowboy hat. And he didn’t even look like a poser. She was looking at him all googly-eyed and if I didn’t love her so much I would have rolled my eyes.
We ordered some drinks and started in with a constant hum of chatter. These girls made me laugh and even Cowboy Dan was fitting in nicely. I liked him. He wasn’t an asshole.
I watched as he led Ashley out into the crowd of people dancing.
“You are a sad case, my friend,” Cassie said, pulling my attention back to her.
“What?” I asked.
“You…watching the two of them. I know you’re thinking about him,” she accused.
“I am not.” Deny. Deny. Deny.
She gave me a look that told me that in no way was she taking my shit.
“I don’t mean to. It just happens,” I frowned.
She patted my arm in show of support. “So, tell me, how are things with Owen?”
She already knew how things were. I told her everything. But she was giving me a pass to talk about it if I wanted. I was three glasses of wine in, so of course I wanted to talk about it.
“He just keeps showing up. Why does he keep showing up and confusing me? Why can’t he just stay the hell away? I mean, I don’t need this in my life. Him swooping in and trying to take care of me when I’m sick or shoving puppies in my face. I mean, seriously. Doesn’t he know what an ex boyfriend is?”
Cassie nodded in agreement and let me continue.
“And he’s always showing up looking all sexy and shit. It’s just inconsiderate. He knows what he’s doing. He knows how he looks and he just parades around me like a damn peacock.” I took another sip of my wine. Cassie laughed despite herself.
“A peacock? Well, okay,” she said.
“You’ve seen him! I see him and I just want to grab him and kiss him. What’s wrong with me? I should slap him...no I should punch him and forget him. But noooo…I just keep letting him back in. I cuddled with him for Pete’s sake.”
“Don’t forget the pancakes,” she said.
I threw my hands up in the air. “Right! Stupid pancakes. Taking me halfway across the state for pancakes. Like he’s doing me a favor showing me breakfast nirvana. I don’t need stupid pancakes. He can take his stupid pancakes and find someone else to woo. I. Don’t. Need. Wooing.” I said, hitting the table with my fist. “His woo window is closed.”
“Right. Woo denied.” Cassie said, humoring me and my rant.
“He’s just so frustrating. I don’t understand why he can’t just play by the rules,” I huffed. My face was flushed from the wine. I was hot.
“Have you said all of this to him?” Cassie asked. She knew the answer to that too.
“I shouldn’t have to. I broke up with him, then he broke up with me. We’re even. Game over.”
She eyed me warily.
“I mean it,” I said. I let out a deep breath.
“Better?” she asked.
“Yeah. Thanks for letting me vent,” I laughed.
“You needed it. Okay...I’m going to run to the ladies room. You gonna be okay if I leave you alone for a few minutes? You want to come with?”
I laughed at her. “No. I’m fine. I’m going to sit here and finish my wine. I promise not to yell at any innocent men that walk by,” I smiled.
I watched her walk off towards the back of the bar and then found Ashley and Dan out on the floor. I was alone at the table now, everyone else up and mingling. I was feeling the wine. It hit me in a rush and it was suddenly very hot. Maybe I just needed some fresh air. The cool breeze would probably do wonders for me. I grabbed my clutch just as our friend, Monica, was coming back to the table.
“I’m gonna go get some air. I’ll be right back. Let Cassie know when she gets back?” I asked.
Monica smiled and nodded, grabbing up her phone to check a message. I weaved my way out and stood out on the sidewalk. The air was cool against my skin and it felt amazing. The wine and my heated talk with Cassie had me all worked up. I hadn’t meant to go into vent mode. Maybe she was right, maybe I needed to talk to him about it. I had let it get out of hand. I’d let my warring emotions get the best of me and I’d let in enemy number one. I needed to stop doing that. I needed to put up the boundaries again. Lock him out. He needed to know that I wasn’t interested in rekindling our friendship or anything else. I needed to tell him before I lost my nerve. I grabbed my
phone and started to pull up his number. I’d just do it now. I’d call him up and tell him everything I’d just told Cassie.
Just then, a cab pulled up and let a group of girls out onto the sidewalk in front of me.
Or….I could tell him in person. That would be more effective. Decision made, I lurched forward and slid into the vacated backseat.
“Where to, Miss?” the cabbie asked.
“Can you take me out to Butler? Is that too far?” I asked.
“I can take you wherever you want to go as long as you’re paying for it,” he smiled at me from the rearview.
“Good. Let’s go,” I said determined.
18
Ally
I was in the cab for about twenty minutes before the adrenaline started to falter and I questioned my decision to take a cab 45 minutes to his house. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea. The clock on the dash reminded me it was almost midnight and the fare was steadily climbing. Seriously, I hadn’t thought this through.
What was I going to say to him anyway? What if he wasn’t even there? I should have just called and said my piece from the bar. No. I wanted to tell him everything face to face. I was due this moment. I’d never gotten my say when he left. Not really. I still had a lot to say.
Talking myself back up I began to fidget in my seat, anxious to get there. It seemed to take forever. By the time the cab pulled up the long drive and parked I all but threw the money at him and jumped out. I stormed up the stairs and knocked before I could change my mind. I heard the cab pull away and wondered briefly if I should have asked him to wait. Just in case. Hell, how was I going to get home? Shit.
The door opened and a surprised Owen greeted me. The sight of him erased all logical thought from my brain. Damn, he looked good. His jeans hung low on his hip bones and his black t-shirt hugged him enough that I could make out the lean muscles beneath. It made my mouth water and I just stared at him. I may have sobered up from the wine on the drive here, but looking at him had me feeling drunk all over again. And this kind of intoxication was much more dangerous.
