We head downstairs together and Melanie stands up to hug me. She and Brantley unfortunately do leave and I was once again stuck with Jason. Lovely. He starts to talk, but I talk over him, “I am not hungry, but I need to eat something, take a pill, and then go to sleep.” I kid you not he totally lets me have it with, “Okay, I’ll make you something light to eat. Lay down on the couch.” My mouth dropped, but I didn’t question it. I did exactly as I was told.
Chapter Three
I woke up the same way I did yesterday. In bed, with J. Only this time, I was sprawled all over him. Slowly I started to move when I felt his arms get tighter. “Babe, fifteen more minutes like this. Please.” I sigh, because I really would love that. I can’t do this to myself though. That’s why I push off of him and roll to the side. I head to the bathroom doing my business. When I come back out Jason is lying in my bed. He has his shirt off and his arm is up behind his head. The covers are around his waist and I almost have to hold on because I got so dizzy. He looks amazing. “You okay?” Instantly I say, “Yeah, I think the pills are making me a little dizzy. I’m okay.” Phew. I must get away with it because he nods at me and I head to my dresser. “You gonna talk to me here?” Sigh. “Do I have to?” I can’t see him, but he says, “No, but I would really like to know what’s goin on. Especially since it would seem Brantley knows what’s goin on.” I needed to be careful here, “Yeah, but he only knows because he researched. Please don’t do that to me.” It comes out as a desperate plea, and I hope he understands why I need him to not do that, “I wouldn’t. It’s yours to tell Soph. Not mine to find.” Thank God. I nod and finish getting dressed. As I was trying to put on my bra I felt J get close and snap the snaps for me. “Thanks.” He doesn’t respond to that he just says, “Need help with the shirt?” Why was he being so nice, “Please?” I see him smiling in the mirror as he pulls the shirt from my hands and helps me into it. We head over and he sits down on the bed. He pats his leg and before I can protest he pulls me into him. “I think I’m going to try and not take so many pain pills today.” He nods, “It’s only been a full day though, Soph. Don’t overdo it.” I nod, “Okay, so what exactly do you want to know?” He instantly says, “Do you care about me?” This question threw me. The reason I know it did is because instantly I say, “Of course I care about you.” He smiles at my honesty. “Okay, so if you care about me, and I care about you, what is it that’s holding you back.” I close my eyes, “It’s me. All of it. I can’t handle the lifestyle. I’m not Melanie. I don’t fight my way out of kidnapping scenarios. I nod my head when someone asks me my name and I burst into tears when they leave me on the floor after hitting me twice, and breaking my elbow.” His body is tense as I recall the other night, “We’ll get back to that because I know that’s not all.” I knew he wouldn’t let me off that easily, “No, it’s not all. It’s all I can explain without completely breaking down. J, can’t you just understand that I can’t do this?” He shakes his head once, “No. Because to me you’re the first thing that’s made sense to me since I was hurt in Afghanistan.” My mouth pops open.
He’s never talked about this before. I know he has nightmares but we’ve never discussed them. I mean I didn’t ask because I figured if he wanted to talk about it he would. He’s a straight forward guy, so I know that if something needs said he’ll say it. “Jason, that’s extremely sweet, but it’s all…I just…shouldn’t the doorbell be ringing or the phone go off or something? That helped yesterday.” He shakes his head at my nonsense, and pulls me in for a tight hug. He runs his hand down my back in a soothing way and it takes everything I have to push him away and stand up abruptly. I immediately leave the room and go downstairs to get breakfast.
I start clanging around in the kitchen to focus on anything but what was happening in my house right now. By the time I finished making French toast Jason had made his way downstairs. He let me finish doing all of this in silence, and I’m not sure which was worse. I was alone with my thoughts. My thoughts were not good. My thoughts were with the fifteen-year-old girl, who in the process of being taken by a motorcycle club, not only lost a part of her mom that she would never get back, but she also lost her father. A father that she thought was an upstanding man. Someone she thought she would want to emulate. What a joke that was. My mom. I start hitting the off button on everything and go out of the kitchen, moving faster than I probably had in a couple days. This must’ve startled Jason, but by the time he got into my living room he realized I was on the phone.
I turn away from him and I hear my mom answer, “Hey mama. How’s it going?” My voice kind of cracked, but my mom ignored it, “Good, dear. How is everything there?” I look to my arm, “It’s um…it’s good. I just miss you.” I hear her say, “I miss you too. Are you coming home soon?” Sigh. “I was thinking about it. I’m not sure when I’ll get to come, but hopefully soon. How’s work?” She ignores me question, “Honey is everything okay?” Sigh again. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” She states the obvious, “You don’t normally just call to ask me about my boring work. You know it’s boring. All the time.” She lets out a light chuckle. “So, is there another reason you were calling?” Shoot. “No, I was just checking in. It’s been a couple days.” Sigh. “I just figured you were busy saving the world one web design at a time.” A tear slides down my face as I let out a laugh. My voice clearly sounds like I’m crying and my mom totally calls me out on it, “What is it, baby?” I blurt out, “Everything. I’m sorry. I should’ve gotten my thoughts together before I called you.” She shocks me with, “Is this about that man?” I close my eyes, “What man?” I ignore Jason getting closer as she says, “Oh please. The one that had that smile in your voice for months. I know you didn’t want to admit it, but I heard you go through it all. Is he back?” Seriously? “Not exactly. I mean he is, but not in that way.” I felt Jason get close as I hear my mom say, “I know you were seeing that Marshall man, but you two were never going to last, so if that’s why you’re crying I’m here to tell you, you’re better off and you should go get that, what was his name again?” Crap. “Jason.” Immediately she says, “Yes, Jason. You should go fight for him.” I look to Jason who was now right next to me, “Mom, I can’t talk about this right now.” She chuckles, “Oh. Is he there?” I let out a laugh, “Exactly.” She is smiling through her words, “Oh, gotcha. Sorry I bothered you, oh wait, you called me.” I laugh, “Yeah I did. I have to tell you something that you aren’t going to like.” Jason spins me around in his arms and I look up at him as he gives me a look that says he hates it when I cry and he wipes my face clean. “What is it? What’s happened?” I see Jason give me a nod and I say, “I had someone break into my house. I got home while they were here and well, I have some bruises and I have a broken elbow.” I hear her gasp and the tears started again.
I hate, after everything she went through, for her to have to listen to this. All because my dad had to be in a motorcycle club that didn’t have rules and regulations like Brantley and Jason have setup. “I’m coming to you.” I immediately say, “No! Mama, listen everything is being handled. Jason already found out who it is.” She asks, “That’s why he’s there isn’t it? To help you. I knew I liked him.” Yeah, if only she knew the whole story. “Mama, for obvious reasons, flying right now isn’t ideal for me. I would love to come home and visit, but a seventeen-hour drive with this cast or even a three-hour flight would be unpleasant.” She ignores this and asks, “When did this happen?” Sigh. “Well, technically it happened not yesterday the night before. I was on pain meds and slept most of yesterday away and that’s why I didn’t call you.” She writes that off as she says, “Well, you’re forgiven. Can I talk to that man?” Stupid, because I have no idea why I did this, but I handed the phone to Jason without even thinking.
He looks at me, but doesn’t question it while he takes the phone, “Hello?” I obviously can’t hear my mom, but I hear, “Yes, ma’am it’s being taken care of.” Then, “Yes, ma’am I served.” Silence and, “
Three tours.” I’m dying to know what she’s asking him, “I have a solid job, working for my friend Brantley. I’m sure you know Melanie, it’s her husband.” Seriously, she’s getting more out of him right now, then I did our first time hanging out. “Yes, ma’am I do own a motorcycle.” My eyes get huge. I start shaking my head no extremely fast and he gives me a really weird look then says, “I sure will. How about I give you back to Sophie?” I let out a sigh of relief, “You also, Mrs. Nunelly.” Crap. “Oh, I apologize. Yes. Goodbye.” He hands me back the phone and I walk away from him to hear, “Sophie, is this why you won’t talk about him with me?” Crap. “Sort of.” She asks specifically, “Is he in a club?” Well, I couldn’t lie, “Yes, Mama.” I hear her sigh, “That’s why you ended up breaking it off with him isn’t it?” I get out, “Yes.” This was coming out as barely a whisper. “Honey, not every man out there is your father.” Oh I needed to not be doing this right now, “I know. Listen, I can’t talk about this right now.” She clarifies, “Does he not know?” Ugh. Seriously why is this my life? “No.” She points out, “I think this is a mistake. I think you need to be open with him and let him prove to you that good people and good clubs can do good things.” This was not going the way I thought it would. “I thought…I thought you would worry. I thought you would be disappointed in me.” I ignore Jason’s face as my mom says, “I could never, and I would never. You’re an adult Sophie. An adult with a really good head on your shoulders. What happened to me, won’t happen to you.” I sob out, “Yeah, but a rival club was who I met in my house the other night.” I shared too much.
The reason I knew that, was because there was total silence. Then, “It’s still not the same.” Whoa. “Mama, can I go please?” She finally says, “Of course, call me soon. Please.” I give her, “I will. Love you.” She says, “I love you, baby.” I turn around and Jason is standing there giving me a questioning look. “So, your mom and dad are divorced?” I shake my head no. “She said her last name is Jones.” Sigh. “It is. Um…after my dad died she took her maiden name back.” He gives me a half a nod, “You kept his name?” Hm. How to explain, “It was complicated. I didn’t want to keep it, but my mom convinced me to.” Stupid. He half nods again, “Do you want to elaborate on why your mother seemed to figure everything out as soon as I told her I rode a motorcycle?” I’m honest when I say, “Not really.” He looks lost as he says, “Soph, come on throw me a bone here.” I try, “There’s French toast to eat.” It was a nice try, “I know, but we’re not talking about breakfast right now.” Ugh. “I know. I just thought…” He cuts me off, “I know what you thought.” Of course he did. “Soph, I just want to understand.” I sigh, “So do I. Okay, I don’t even get it. Something happened to me and half of it I can’t even remember. Something happened to my mom, and some of that I remember. I can’t really give you the full story, but I know that I can’t go through something like Melanie did and survive the way she’s survived.” He gets close, “Sophie, please give me the part of the story that you can give me.” I agree, “Fine, but I can’t do it right here.” He walks over to the couch and sits down.
I don’t know why, but I go over and sit in his lap. He holds me close and I start with, “My father was in a club. Not a club like yours. They didn’t have rules like you do. They play a rough game. Drugs, women, money.” He stops me, “Do you know the name of the club?” I look to him and nod. “Outlaw Rebels.” His eyes flare with recognition. I knew they would. It was a group of one percenters and I knew that they were forced out of our lovely state and that was the main selling point of me settling down here. “You know them, so you get it.” He nods. “My dad was a rough guy. My mom, was an angel. I know that sounds cliché, but she was perfect. They broke her. My dad double-crossed the President. We’re talking Double. Crossed.” He squeezes my side and I feel like I’m going back to that day. “I was at school. My dad was going on a bike run and my mom was leaving town for work. One of my dad’s brothers was going to stay with me at home. Mom had been gone for three days. What I didn’t know, was that she didn’t ever get to her work meetings. The fourth day, I left school and one of my dad’s brothers came to the curb. He told me that my dad had sent him, because some stuff was happening with the club and I needed to be safe. Dad told me I could always trust his brothers. Like they were my honorary family. I stupidly went, and I was locked in a dark room, for fifteen days, hearing my mom screaming from the next room over. A little food and water when necessary, but that was the only contact I had. On the fifteenth day, the President came in.” My voice cracks and I feel Jason holding me tighter. “He told me that they had told my dad if he turned himself in they wouldn’t take my mom. Obviously he didn’t do that so they said the same thing about me. Then he proceeded to tell me that my father never turned himself in. They caught him, and because they caught him, and my mom and I were innocent in the matter they were letting us go, but we would never see him again. My mom was beaten and bloody when we left there, but as soon as we hit the door we took off running with everything we had. They had my father, and I knew that he was either dead or dying, and all I could think about was getting myself out of there. What kind of person does that?” He stops me, “The smart kind. Soph, can I speak openly here?” I sigh into his body, “Maybe.” He smiles at me and says, “Your dad, doesn’t deserve your pity. He made those decisions and it physically makes me sick, that he would A. not turn himself in right away, before your mom was ever even taken, and B. After you were taken he still didn’t turn himself in, he had to be captured. That is not a real man. I need you to know though, not only do we have rules in place preventing people from doing what you said your dad was doing, but we also don’t go after family members. If someone does something to the club they’re kicked out. If it continues from there, we deal with that person and that person alone. No one else should be held accountable for that one person’s actions. On top of that, women and children…Sophie you were fifteen. Look what you went through and survived. You think you aren’t strong enough, but what you fail to see is you’ve already proved otherwise.” I shake my head, “I absolutely did no such thing. I barely made it out. I didn’t fight, I just did as I was told.” He nods, “You do realize, that’s probably the reason they let you go, right?” That just wasn’t true, “No. They let me go because it wasn’t my fight.” He raises an eyebrow, “Do you really think, in the stuff that they’re into, that they would let a fifteen-year-old girl go, when her dad stole from them? I’ll answer that for you. No. They would’ve put you out for sale the first chance they had. Don’t even tell me that somewhere in all of that someone didn’t have a soft spot for you and that angel of a mother of yours.” Okay, so maybe he was right about that, but, “I didn’t do that though, my mom did.” He squeezes my waist, “Baby, that’s just not true. You went through something that a normal fifteen-year-old couldn’t even fathom. Look at you, you’re beautiful, you’re successful, you have a good head on your shoulders, other than tryin to push me away. At least that makes sense now. Did you think your mom wouldn’t approve because I’m in a club?” I sigh, “Yeah. That among other things.” He questions, “What?” I rub my forehead with my good hand, “I don’t want her to constantly be worried that something is going to happen to me. You may be a good guy Jason, but there are bad people out there, and there isn’t anything you can do to stop them when they want to do something to target me.” He shakes his head, “There is something I can do; I didn’t realize that you were a target at this point. I didn’t even know that what was going on is even going on until this all happened. Sophie, this is all going to be fixed and while it’s being fixed, you and I are happening.” Not a chance, “That’s just not gonna work for me.” He grins, “I know that isn’t true and do you know how I know?” I stop him, “Don’t kiss me again.” He smiles, “I wasn’t going to, but that’s a good idea.” I shake my head quickly, “No. No. No.” He concedes, “Fine, this time I’ll just say it.” I ask, “What?” He smiles, “I heard your
mom say you were happiest when you were with me. That means I’m in there and I’m in there to stay.” I blurt out the first thing that comes to my mind, “I need to eat French toast.” I stare as he throws his head back and laughs.
After he was done he let me go into the kitchen and eat French toast after reheating it of course. We ate in silence, and I know he was watching me the whole time. I only made it through like a piece and a half until I was completely full. “Hey, that medicine is gonna make it so you’re not hungry, but you gotta eat.” I nod, “I know; I just am not feeling very good. A lot on my mind.” He looks sad as he says, “I know, and I’m sorry you had to relive all of that because of me. I just want you to know that I am so damn proud of you, Sophie. I’ve never met your mom officially, but I’m proud of her too. Look at what you overcame and who the two of you have become.” I sigh, “Yeah, but my mom won’t remarry. She won’t even date. It’s like a part of her was lost those twenty-three days they had her, and I don’t even know what they did to her. She wouldn’t ever say, she just hushed my dreams and made everything better for me. All the while, she was going through a real tragedy.” He says something I had never really though before when he says, “Honey that was her job as your mom. Had she not done that, neither of you would’ve come out of that okay.” That was true. “I didn’t do anything to help her though.” He kisses my cheek, “I bet if you talked to her, I mean really talked to her about it now, you would realize you did more than just help her. I can almost guarantee you that helping you through that was therapeutic for her, because she could worry about you and focus on you instead of being stuck in her own head. Sophie, none of this is your fault, and I guarantee your mom doesn’t hold any blame toward you at all.” Sigh. He just wasn’t ever going to get it. “Can we not talk about this right now?” He surprises me by saying, “Sure, what do you want to do today?” Hmm. “I don’t know. What are my options?” He smiles, “We can do anything you want.” I look around, “Um. I think I need to get out of this house.” He nods, “I figured. Do you have something you want to do? If not, I can plan our day.” I try to think of anything, so that he couldn’t do anything cute, but I came up completely empty. With that he smiles and says, “Give me an hour and I’ll have our day ready. Do you wanna shower?” I nod, “Yeah, I’ll go do that now.” He asks, “Do you need help?” I think for a second and then say, “If you could just tape the bag on my arm? I don’t have to wash my hair today, so I’ll be fine in the shower.” He nods, and immediately gets a bag to tape on my arm. Hopefully this shower could wash away my morning.
Shifting Minds (Skull Shifters MC Book 2) Page 3
