My blood runs cold, but I refuse to believe it. I check the number, make sure I typed it in correctly, then press “call” again. I bite my nails as I pace back and forth in the bedroom, getting impatient as the phone tries once again to connect, only to receive the same error message.
This can’t be happening. They couldn’t have changed their number. Not without telling me — of course not! I’m their only daughter! I’m their child! There’s no way they would do something like this without warning me, without giving me the new number. Besides, they have had the same house phone number since before I was even born. It makes no sense that it would be disconnected now, after all these years, unless…
They did it on purpose.
To sever ties with me. To keep me out of their lives.
“No, no, no!” I mumble to myself, tears forming in my eyes and panic starting to take hold of me. “This can’t be happening. Something is wrong.”
I toss my iPhone onto the bed as though it’s covered in barbs, as though it’s something poisonous. I can’t look at it right now. I can’t deal with this. I thought I would be crying happy tears as I told my parents that they’ll be expecting a grandchild, not shedding angry, bitter tears at the thought of being abandoned by my own parents! I look around instinctively for Andrei, my safety blanket, my comfort, my shelter from the emotional storm brewing in my heart.
But he isn’t here. I forgot. He’s at the apartment gym complex downstairs, working out as is his evening routine. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror across the room — my pink-rimmed eyes, my blotchy cheeks, my messy hair, and slouchy comfy clothes. I look like a disaster. But I am a disaster in need of my husband.
So I quickly throw on a wraparound sweater and slip-on shoes before rushing out into the hallway, nearly running to the elevator. I’m trying to hold myself together so that anyone who sees me on my way to the gym won’t think I’m a crazy person in mid-meltdown.
Even though I am. And I am not holding it together well at all.
I race through the lobby to the gym, fiddling with the door — only to remember that I need a key to get in. I stand on tiptoe to look through the small, square glass window in the door. I can see Andrei lifting weights across the room, looking totally absorbed in the activity, his eyes intense and determined. I jiggle the doorknob in vain, tears welling up in full force at this point. Finally, I get so frenzied and upset that I start pounding on the door with my tiny fists, hoping to make enough noise to catch Andrei’s attention.
It takes about half a minute for him to break out of his work-out trance and notice me banging on the gym door. His eyebrows shoot up in surprise as he jogs over to let me in, his hard body glistening with sweat.
“What’s the matter, malyshka?” he asks, voice filled with genuine concern as he takes both my hands.
Tears pulse down my cheeks as I look up at him, struggling to find the words.
“My-my parents… I tried to call them, but I-I couldn’t g-get an answer! The lady says th-the number has been d-disconnected!” I whimper, feeling my lip tremble.
Suddenly, a look of dark comprehension comes over Andrei’s sharp features and he looks more wolf-like than ever before. He looks like a predator — an alpha animal.
“I assumed that might be the case,” he says in an undertone, shaking his head. I can tell that he is gritting his teeth, his hands releasing mine and subtly clenching into fists at his sides.
“What d-do you mean?” I ask, squinting up at him. What a strange thing to say.
“I had a feeling this would happen,” he begins cryptically, scowling at the floor with his arms across his chest. “Cassie, please don’t let this bother you.”
I shake my head and back away from him slowly a few steps. “What are you t-talking about? Of course this bothers me! I need to get in contact with m-my parents! They need to know I’m p-pregnant!” I sob, tears dampening my shirt.
Andrei gives me the most pitying look in the world, and suddenly I feel irrationally angry with him. Why isn’t he helping me? Why is he reacting this way? He steps toward me, opening his arms as though to embrace me, but I refuse to let him just gloss over this. It is a big deal!
“I need help, Andrei! We’ve g-got to look them up and get their new number. What if s-something happened to them? I can’t just let this go.”
He sighs heavily. “I should have warned you this might happen. I need to be honest with you, printsessa. Please listen to what I tell you. Moya lyubov, your mother and father are not good people. They sold you like you were cattle.”
Indignant fury bursts like a firework in my chest.
“And you bought me! Doesn’t make you any better, does it?” I shout at him.
He goes quite pale in the face and his expression is so dour, so dark, that for a moment I actually fear what he might do to me for saying that. But it isn’t the fear of what he’d do to me. Not really. It’s the fear of what my father would have done to me, manifested in my husband, the only other man I’ve ever been close to.
But he is not my father. Instead of lashing out or hurting me, he swallows hard, lets his arms fall to his sides, and says softly, “I was only there to work security. I did not go there with the intention of buying a wife.” His voice is tinged with a bit of sadness, but I’m too upset to let it drop.
“B-but you did! You bought me! You took me away from my f-family and brought me here and now you won’t help me get in touch with them. Wh-why are you hurting me like this?” I cry, rushing forward to helplessly, harmlessly beat his chest with my fists.
“Cassie! They have abandoned you because they’re ashamed of what they’ve done to you, of what your father’s greed has done to you. They cannot tell anyone the truth. Think of what a scandal it would be: Arnold Meadows, with his beautiful house and perfect family — selling his only daughter to get out of debt!” Andrei hisses through gritted teeth.
“No! That’s not true!” I cry, shaking my head, feeling sick to my stomach.
“It is true! They mistreated you terribly, sladkaya. I cannot change the past, and neither can you. Cassie, you did nothing wrong. You didn’t deserve what etot ublyudok did to you. I want so badly to help you, to make you feel better, but you have to know that I cannot bring you back to them. They don’t want you anymore — think of how easily they threw you away, put you on display, for sale! You don’t need them, malyshka. You are better than that.”
I am stunned at his words, tears streaming down my face. My heart is so heavy, so full of pain at the prospect that Andrei may be right. And deep down, way deep inside my heart, I know it is true. They have not even tried to contact me. Since the wedding, it’s been like I don’t even exist in their universe anymore.
They really have left me behind.
I will never see my parents again. Nor will I get to hold Isaiah in my arms. He will never get to meet his little nephew. I feel so broken, like a part of my soul has died.
“It hurts, Andrei,” I weep, my shoulders shaking as I sink into his arms as though totally deflated. “I can’t believe it… they never even loved me, did they?”
His arms wrap around me, stroking my hair, rubbing my back as I sob into his hard, shirtless chest. “Oh, dorogaya, I don’t know. I’m sure they did, in their own way.”
“I’ve lost my whole family. I’m all alone,” I sob.
“No, no, no. You are not alone,” he says, holding me back and taking my chin in between his fingers to tilt my face up. His dark eyes, usually so cold, are warm — blazing with love. “You will never be alone again. I am vasha sem’ya now. We will be a family together: you, me, and the little one growing inside you. And I promise our life together will be so bright that it will outshine the pain of what you’ve lost. I promise you that. Obeshchayu. I swear.”
Suddenly, it all makes sense. This is what God has planned for me.
It has been a dark, treacherous path that led me here and I have lost so much in the process, but I know now, in this instant, that
this is exactly where I am meant to be. It doesn’t matter much where I am, only that I am with Andrei, my prince charming. And that ever since I’ve met him, he’s never hurt me. Never done a thing to make me feel unwelcome or scared, despite his secrets. He’s only ever encouraged me to do the things I enjoy, and my self-confidence and happiness has blossomed with him at my side.
“I love you.”
The words fall from my lips before my brain can even process them.
Andrei’s eyes widen and then, slowly a brilliant smile appears on his face. He looks so immensely relieved, so happy, and the joy in his face makes him practically radiant.
“Ya tozhe tebya lyublyu. I love you, too.”
I throw my arms around him and he kisses me, his hands smoothing away my tears, brushing the hair back out of my face, caressing my shoulders, my arms, all the way down my back. I lean into him fully, my lips parting to dive my tongue into his mouth. He kisses me deeply, passionately. His hard body, still glistening slightly with a sheen of sweat, is so tempting, so beautiful. I cannot resist him, nor do I want to.
We are each other’s family now, forever. And I need him, now.
He hoists me up, my legs wrapping around his waist instinctively. His lips and mine move together as he carries me across the gym, never breaking our kiss except to occasionally come up for air. Andrei carries me through a door into a wooden room in the back. The warm, wet heat trickles into my sensory recognition, and it dawns on me that we’re in the gym sauna.
He sits down on a wooden bench along the wall with me still straddling him. His lips break away from mine to follow a passionate, intense trail down my neck, sucking dark red blooms under my skin while I moan with pleasure. The sensation is ticklish and sweet and ever so slightly bordering on pain. I start to undulate my hips, rolling against the growing bulge at the front of his pants. I want him inside me now, now, now. I need him to fill me up and make me feel complete. I need to feel connected with him, our bodies as close as possible.
“I love you so much,” I murmur against his skin, breathing him in.
Andrei peels my shirt up over my head and tosses it, leaving my chest, back, and shoulders exposed to the balmy atmosphere. “Moya printsessa,” he growls, his lips moving down to lightly suck my nipple. My private parts respond with a tingling pleasure as I start to ache for more, needing to feel him inside me.
As he licks and gently bites my nipples I arch my back and shut my eyes, moaning. It is amazing to me how his mouth on my breasts elicits such a strong response from a totally separate part of my body. It must be magic, I think. It must be some kind of power.
“I need you, Andrei,” I sigh, shuffling off of his lap to strip out of my pants and underwear. Suddenly I am distinctly aware of the fact that we’re in a public place. Someone could walk into this sauna and see me completely naked at any moment. For Cassandra Meadows, this would have been absolutely unimaginable. Totally impossible.
But for Cassandra Petrov, this is exciting.
In fact, the knowledge that we could be discovered any second now only spurs my desire.
Andrei quickly slips out of his workout pants and shoes before standing up to kiss me again, his arms wrapping around me and tugging me close. His hands wander down to cup my ass, his fingers sliding around my hips to toy with my slit. My surprised, blissful cry is swallowed into Andrei’s mouth as he kisses me, his fingers working their way inside of me while his thumb circles that tight little bundle of nerves at the crown of my privates.
I can’t help but rock into his touch, my body responding with involuntary enthusiasm to the spirals of pleasure radiating upward from between my legs. His fingers and thumb work their magic, moving rhythmically as Andrei’s lips trail down my neck, leaving a path of bruising kisses on the way. I can feel my pleasure mounting higher and higher until finally I collapse in his arms as my first climax shudders through my body.
“Ohh my goodness!” I whimper breathlessly.
Andrei’s arms have to support me for a few minutes while we stand there kissing, as my legs are so shaky and weak from my overwhelming release. But as I regain my strength, my desire intensifies. I reach down between us to wrap my fingers around Andrei’s thick shaft, reveling in its smooth, rock-hard length. I pump him up and down, fast and hard, as his breath comes heavily. He kisses me aggressively, biting my lip, while his hands squeeze my backside and claw their way up my back to tangle in my hair. I can tell he is losing control — becoming more animalistic, less gentlemanly.
Instead of being afraid or put off by this change, I find myself panting with need. I want him to take me, to use me and mark me as his own. He is my family now, and I want more than anything to feel united with him, with his hard, hot flesh. I want him to be rough, to use me however he pleases, so long as he is mine and I am his.
“Andrei,” I breathe, “I want you to take me. Please.”
His chest is heaving as he looks down at me through heavily-lidded eyes, his lips parted. I am suddenly fully aware yet again of just how massive, how muscular and imposing my husband is. I know that he could break me in half without even trying. If he were to let go, his usually gentle touches could become aggressive, even dangerous. I can tell that he is struggling to contain himself, fighting with some primal need to tear me apart, to use my body in a way that might actually hurt me.
And I long for him to give into it.
“Please. Take me however you want. You don’t have to be gentle anymore. I’m ready.”
I tell him this emphatically, though my voice still trembles.
“Ya ne mogu. I don’t want to hurt you, Cassie,” he replies, his jaw clenching. I know he wants this, too, and he is on the brink of losing the tightly-held control he’s been clinging to ever since we first made love. I realize that he has had to work so hard to please me, to love me without hurting me, and a rush of warm affection comes over me.
“I don’t mind,” I answer, my hand still stroking his shaft. “Please, I want you to lose control, Andrei. I want you to… to fuck me like you really want to.”
I’ve never said that word before. I’ve never even thought that word before. But Andrei’s eyes go wide and blazing and I know immediately it must be setting him off. He knows now that I’m serious, that I really and truly want him to let go and finally take me with abandon.
And he does.
Without wasting another second, Andrei picks me up and spins me around to face the wooden bench, his hands pushing on my back to bend me over. I brace my hands on the wooden bench and look back behind me to see Andrei positioning the head of his member at my wet entrance. The steamy air of the sauna fills my lungs as I inhale sharply, my body shuddering at the slightest touch of his shaft to my aching slit. He’s going to take me from behind.
One of his hands roves up my back to grab my hair, pulling my head back. I let out a little yelp of surprise, my private parts responding to this show of dominance with a tingling approval. I want to be completely submissive to him in this moment — I want to give him absolutely anything and everything he’s ever wanted.
“Say you want it,” Andrei growls, rubbing the head of his manhood up and down my slit.
He gives my hair a little tug and I respond, “I want it, oh please.”
And with that, he pushes inside of me, filling me up until I can feel his tip hitting that deep, secret spot. At this angle, he is able to hit that impossibly delicious spot so easily! I moan as he starts to pound into me mercilessly, his massive shaft sliding in and out of me so fast and hard that I see stars. He smacks my backside and I cry out in mingled pain and pleasure, wanting more, always more.
“Yes! I want it — I want it to hurt!” I manage to choke out between heavy breaths.
Andrei responds with another hard slap, and then he grabs hold of my hips with both hands, using this position to slam into me with more power and precision. I suddenly feel another climax coming, and when it does I cry out and nearly lose my grip on the bench. My legs are so w
eak that my knees buckle, and Andrei senses this. He promptly scoops me up, turns me back to face him, then lifts me up to straddle him standing up. With my legs wrapped tightly around his waist, he guides his member back to my pulsating hole, penetrating me as he holds me up in his arms. He bounces me up and down on his shaft, slapping my backside and burying his face in my neck to leave more bruising kisses.
Even as my pleasure mounts to a third orgasm, some part of my consciousness is intensely aware of how strong Andrei must be to hold me up like this. I marvel at how well he has kept this animalistic side of him hidden from me until I was ready.
“Ohhh!” I cry out, trembling through my climax.
“Horoshaya devochka,” he murmurs, his teeth grazing my collarbone.
He starts driving into me faster, his strength unbelievable as he manages to keep me held in his arms even as he begins to lose control completely. He has never used me like this before. The pain gives way to pleasure as I come for the fourth time, and as my hole convulses around him, Andrei bellows out, “Da, malyshka!”
With a few quick, hard thrusts, he shoots his seed deep inside me.
We stay there for several minutes just clinging to each other as though we might blow away on the wind if we let go. Andrei covers my face with kisses, making me giggle. We are both drenched with sweat from exertion and from the intense, damp heat of the sauna. I rest my forehead against his and he kisses the tip of my nose. Finally, we get dressed and head back up to the apartment to shower and get ready for bed.
Feeling perfectly loved and protected as I snuggle into bed next to my husband, my heart hardly even aches when my family crosses my mind. I have a new life now. And finally, for the first time, I am truly happy.
19
Andrei
I’m sitting alone in a bathtub. If my information is good, I don’t expect to be hearing noises from the bedroom outside for a few minutes yet. But the curtains are drawn, leaving me shrouded in pale light while I inspect the silenced pistol in my hands.
Hitman - the Series: A Bad Boy Mafia Romance Collection (Alexis Abbott's Hitmen #0) Page 16
