“Yes. It’s why I didn’t recognize you last week. I took my frustrations out on you. Because, honestly, you’re not my type, but I couldn’t tell that from your photo. I ended up wasting my time, but I only had myself to blame. It wasn’t your fault.”
Kat groaned from the other side of the bar. Was she also thinking that this was a terrible apology? Well, she did say that the nasty attitude was all her…
“It’s not your fault,” Shari said again. “I could’ve handled it better.”
Vivian handed the paper back to her. “Is this supposed to make me feel sorry for you?”
“Not at all. I don’t want your pity. It’s not going to make my condition better. It’s not going to change my fate. If anything, it will just make me resent you more.”
Jesus. What a piece of work. I really, really dodged a bullet with her. Even if she is hot… Kat was hotter. Ahem.
“I don’t want pity or even forgiveness. Just to clear the air, because Kat says I really hurt your self-esteem, and that wasn’t necessary.”
“As long as you know it wasn’t necessary to hurt my self-esteem.”
“Whatever. Personally, I don’t think you should let one random woman’s comments make you so fucking fragile, but here we are. Guess not everyone can be as ebony-souled as me.”
Kat slapped her hand over her face and muttered something to Harriet. The bar patron guffawed into her drink.
“You’re not the only one I’ve hurt with my words. I’ve got a lot of people to apologize to, apparently. I started with Kat and have gone to you. Don’t know who I’ll apologize to next, but my therapist says it’ll be good for me.”
“You apologized to Kat? For what? Hurting my feelings?”
“Please, no. I apologized for hurting her feelings a long time ago. We used to date. She never told you?”
“No.” Vivian searched for Kat, but she had gone back into hiding. “She failed to ever mention that.”
“It was a long time ago. I had honestly forgotten her, and I don’t know if it’s just me being me or because of the degeneration… but whatever. Point is, I’m on a fucking tour apologizing to people before I no longer have the capacity to do so. So here I am. I’m sorry, Vivian. For hurting you and other people.”
“Do you actually mean that? Or are you saying it to make me feel better?”
“Honestly? It’s to make you feel better. I don’t give a rat’s ass either way. But I try to have a little empathy, and when I put myself in your shoes… blah. It sucks. Sorry.”
“O… kay.” That was the biggest non-apology Vivian had ever received. She would’ve rather gone on living her life thinking Shari was just a big bitch with projection issues. “Thanks, I guess. At least it clears a few things up.”
Shari huffed. “Obviously, you’re not a hideous person who is unworthy of love. Puh-leaze. Give yourself more credit than that. Why would you take my opinion of you as the word of God? I’m not that full of myself. I don’t give a fuck if you find eternal happiness with someone else. It just wasn’t going to work out with us. Big deal.”
Vivian still didn’t know what to make of this. But before she could ask another question, Shari slid off her stool and slung her bag strap over her shoulder.
“I’ve gotta go. See you around, although don’t take it personally if I don’t recognize you.”
“Wow.” Vivian stared at the empty stool long after it was unoccupied. “What the fuck?”
Silence befell the bar. Then, with one crack of Kat’s voice back in the office, Vivian and Harriet joined her in laughing their asses off. What the hell else could they possibly do? Sometimes people were too ridiculous to ever take seriously.
Chapter 13
“Do you really believe that shit?” Vivian asked, head propped up on her hand and blouse so wrinkled that she looked like the most haggard – yet the prettiest – office worker to ever stroll into Kat’s place of work. “Who the fuck has ever heard of a disease like that?”
“Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person, huh?” Kat finished making someone’s drink and handed it to them between talking to Vivian and cleaning up a smudge on the bar. “And I have no idea, Vivi. I looked it up, and I guess it’s real, but there’s only about four people in the whole world who have been officially diagnosed. For what it’s worth, though…” she shrugged. “I saw her name show up a couple of times in medical journals. So maybe it’s legit.”
Vivian was on her second drink of the evening. Too bad Kat couldn’t give her a discount beyond the occasional freebie. Bev will only let my favors last so long. “Like you said, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Harriet said at the other end of the bar.
While the place wasn’t packed, there were enough patrons milling about to keep Kat busy for most of the evening. Vivian admitted she thought about going home, but had agreed to stay if it meant seeing Kat when she finished work. Like we aren’t going home together, hon. Kat had plans. Most of those plans included cuddling and kissing, but as long as Vivian was up for it, damnit, the plans were happening. Kat didn’t work that late on Wednesdays, anyway.
Vivian passed time on her phone and writing down something in her spiral-bound journal she carried around in her bag. She once told Kat that it was a diary of sorts. Nothing earth-shattering, but a convenient way for her to purge thoughts. Bet she’s purging Shari right now. Every time Kat thought about it, she started laughing. Odds were Shari would be back in there that weekend with a date on her arm. Or, as Kat had suggested she try doing, coming by the bar to find a date in the flesh. Less likely to get her hopes dashed that way. She’s the last person who should be doing online dating.
Kat finished her shift by nine. She gestured for Vivian to follow her out the door and take the short walk back to her apartment. They immediately took to holding hands in the chilly night.
“Did you invite me to the bar tonight because Shari wanted to see me?” That was the question Kat had been dreading, so of course it was the question Vivian asked first. “Because that was so eerie.”
“Yeah. She stalked me to my place the other day and said a lot of the same stuff.” Kat squeezed Vivian’s hand. “I suggested she apologize to you next. Our shit was ancient history.”
“About that.” Vivian stopped at the bottom of Kat’s steps and gave her a look. “You never told me that you used to date her.”
“Like I said… ancient history.”
“You should’ve told me.”
“Let’s finish this conversation upstairs. My toes are starting to freeze.”
Vivian agreed. They hustled up the stairs and entered Kat’s apartment with shaking lips and rustling jackets. But as soon as they were settled on Kat’s couch and perusing Netflix for something to watch – and hopefully chill to – Vivian brought the topic up again. “So tell me about you and Shari.”
Kat let the remote dangle between her spread knees. I was just about to heat something up for dinner, but okay. Did Vivian have something against leftover Chinese food? Because that’s what she was missing out on by asking these questions. “There’s nothing to tell, besides the fact that we dated for a couple of months a few years back.”
“So… you used to sleep with her.”
“I guess that’s what it implies.”
“What was that like?”
Kat’s eyes widened. “You really wanna know that?”
“Considering I would’ve totally slept with her because I don’t love myself, yeah. Was I missing anything?”
“Not really.” Kat clicked on the romantic comedy category. “She’s hot. That’s what she’s got going for her. A hot body and a pretty face. Woohoo.”
“This sounds like code for she made you do all the work.”
“Pretty much, yeah, but I was dumb enough to do all the work because she was hot.”
Vivian laughed. “I don’t make you do all the work, do I?”
“Baby,” Kat said, “you make me wanna
do all the work. There’s a difference.”
“Because I appreciate it?”
“Because I know you’ll give back if I ask.”
They stared into each other’s eyes before Kat went back to the TV. Chinese food soon, right? Her stomach grumbled. Her half-assed lunch of a tiny sandwich in between jobs hadn’t lasted long.
“It really must be a small town if we’ve dated the same woman. The same nasty, self-absorbed, asshole of a woman with a degenerative brain disease.”
“Maybe we are stricken with the same fate.”
“Does that mean we were fated to hookup?”
Kat lingered on a movie that advertised a heterosexual couple on the verge of a hilarious breakup. Man, I love movies about straight people breaking up. Comedy gold. “I was meaning to ask you something tonight. About fate, that is.”
“Oh?” Vivian’s hand gently traced a line up Kat’s spine. She shuddered. Yes, do that. That’s the good shit. Talk about tingles! Fuck eating dinner if we can go right to the main course, huh. “What did you want to talk about? Is it sexy?”
“Yeah, kinda.” Kat hadn’t been self-conscious before, but now she bit her lip and wanted to look away from that seductive gaze coming in her direction. So much easier to do this when Vivian looked like a sweet angel instead of a dazzling devil! How was Kat supposed to formulate full words around someone who made her feel so warm inside? Sometimes that heat burned until it was a fire strong enough to melt the words.
“Well? What is it? You gonna say it or just sit there like a broken clock?”
“Tick-tock.” Kat stretched her arms above her head as she leaned back on her couch. “I’m a broken clock, but at least I’m right twice a day.”
“Are you right at this moment?”
“Depends. You tell me.”
“Well?”
Just do it before you lose the nerve! “I think we should talk about what exactly we are.”
Vivian grinned. She got it. She knew what Kat meant. But would she say it? Or would she make a joke? “We’re two smoking hot women sitting on a couch getting ready to make out.”
That was a joke… right?
“Vivi,” Kat placed her hand on Vivian’s knee, “would you consider making this official and being my girlfriend?”
Vivian couldn’t contain it any longer. She fell in a fit of giggles that was louder than the heart thundering in Kat’s chest. “I thought you were going to make me bring that up!”
“I could’ve. But I would’ve much rather get it out of the way before the rumor train really got running at work.”
“What are they saying about us?”
“That we’re cute as fuck. Oh, and that I should be thanking Shari for hooking us up.”
Vivian planted a kiss on Kat’s cheek. “Why do that when we could thank each other for existing?”
“I love the way you think.” Kat tossed aside her remote and tackled Vivian against the couch.
It was the perfect end to a perfect week, wasn’t it? Who knew that the shy-looking lady who came into her bar a week ago would end up being the girl of her dreams? Who knew that a monster like Shari would be what brought this breath of fresh air into Kat’s life? Kat swore she was going to spend every day of her life worshiping the gorgeous girl who was still getting used to the new her. Vivian needed the ego boost – and Kat needed the outlet for her gushing feelings.
She also needed to eat dinner – which became apparent when her stomach growled so loudly that it interrupted the kissing happening on her couch.
“Oh my God,” Vivian said with a snort. “Stop trying to eat me out and get some damn dinner.”
Vivian was invited to partake, of course. And she did, both in the dinner, and in the lovemaking that lasted half the night.
Epilogue
Kat lay on a picnic table when Vivian approached, her arms laden with bags and her eyes full of the wondrous beauty that was her girlfriend.
It had been months since she and Kat started dating, but it still felt weird to call her a girlfriend. So much time had passed since Vivian last felt comfortable giving that piece of her trust to another woman. Kat hadn’t done anything to break it in the months that had gone by since that fortuitous winter. Now it was almost summer, and it wasn’t uncommon to see bare arms flexing in the sunlight and toes wiggling in strappy sandals.
The nights had grown warmer as well. Vivian was well versed in making love during hot nights thanks to Kat’s insatiable appetites. As if she’s the only one who is hungry all the time. Nothing had been better for Vivian’s self-esteem than having someone tell her how wonderful she was every day. It wasn’t the same coming from friends and family. Coming from someone who had once been a stranger? Vivian spent every day of her life grateful that she had gone on that horrible date.
“Help, police,” Vivian said in a droll voice. “There’s a weird woman blocking my way in the park. She’s hardly got any clothes on and looks like she wants to ravish me.”
Kat opened her eyes. “You caught me. Ravishings about to commence.” She slowly sat up, eyebrows waggling. “In public. Yup. Time to take our relationship to the next level.”
Vivian couldn’t contain herself. “Do you know what today is?”
“I’m hoping I do, considering I took the day off so we could hang out.”
“It’s six months since we met!”
“Fuck!” Kat’s face contorted into a hilarious guffaw of disbelief. “I thought it was the day of the nudist festival! I was gonna show off your naked ass and everything!”
Vivian helped her girlfriend off the picnic table and said, “You said you had a surprise for me today.”
“I do. And it’s a good thing you’re on time, because we’ve got an appointment for that special surprise in twenty minutes.”
Special surprise? Did that mean reservations at a nice restaurant? Were they going to see that movie Vivian had been salivating to watch since she heard it was coming out? What else was there to do in that town that required a reservation?
“Well, I don’t want to hold us up.” Vivian kept her hand in her girlfriend’s as they strolled across the empty park. “And I won’t ask what it is until we get there. Then I’ll bother you until you tell me.”
“Excellent plan. Let’s go.”
Although Kat led the way down the sidewalk, Vivian was the one skipping ahead of their conjoined hands and acting like a child on the trip to the candy store. Every time Kat sprang a sweet surprise on her, it was like the first time they made love all over again. What had they done on their one-month anniversary? Gone to the planetarium, where the Valentine’s Day display included Cupid arrows and red hearts alongside the constellations. Kat didn’t usually go for that sappy shit, but she knew Vivian ate it up.
For their three-month anniversary, it was reservations at a restaurant with a 360 view of the ocean and city skyline. For Vivian’s birthday last month, Kat took her to a play about lesbians in love. Even though it had been a small, local production put on by some of their friends, it was still the kind of sweet surprise Vivian bragged about to people like Lisa and Phyllis for weeks.
“How much farther?” she asked at a crosswalk.
“Right across the street.”
The building was unmarked, aside from a pawn shop on the street and an accountant’s office on the second floor. A photography studio was around the corner. Pawn shop? Oh my God, is she going to propose to me? Vivian wavered where she stood. Even after the crosswalk sign turned white, she stumbled in her heels and worried that she wasn’t prepared for this.
They didn’t go into the pawn shop, however, so it wasn’t a diamond ring they were after. Instead, they headed up the stairs to the accountant’s office.
No. The photography studio.
“What is this?” Kat wasn’t the type to find a little portrait of them romantic. She was the type to laugh at couples who did that, and promise to never participate in such a hilarious display of antiquated dating. Nor had Vivian ever
expressed a desire to take a professional photo together in a studio. They were more likely to have a friend with a nice camera take photos of them in the park or at the bar where they met. That would be for an engagement photo… and she didn’t take me to the pawn shop to get a ring, so…
Wait. It wasn’t a normal photography studio.
Beautiful Boudoir was something else entirely!
“Hi!” The woman behind the counter put down her pen and stepped out. She wore a tight corset and fishnet stockings, but the blazer on her arms suggested she had some level of professionalism to her. “You must be Kat! Is this Vivian?”
Kat gestured to her girlfriend. “Surprise!”
“What is this, Kat?”
The woman extended her hand. “My name’s Lucy. I run this cozy little space. I understand we’re taking your pictures today?”
Vivian tugged on Kat’s arm. “What is this?”
“Vivi,” Kat said with that warm tone that implied her girlfriend needed to relax and enjoy the event, “I can’t think of something hotter than you getting boudoir photography done.”
Mouth agape, Vivian felt as if this was scarier than shopping for an engagement ring!
“This style of photography,” Lucy began, “is excellent for self-esteem building. Kat tells me that you’re interested in the ‘I’m Fucking Gorgeous’ package.”
“That’s why you brought me to this?” Vivian dropped her girlfriend’s hand. “I haven’t been that bad recently…”
“I mean, it’s also hot. Two for one?”
Lucy leaned in toward Vivian. “There’s also the opportunity for a couple’s photo toward the end. You wouldn’t be the only one dressing down for your significant other.”
Well, in that case…
It would be a few weeks before they received the final photos. The only way Vivian was able to get through the shoot was because she would soon have a sexy photo of her girlfriend wearing nothing… and that meant nothing… while sprawled out on a silk sheet and making come-hither eyes at the camera.
That photo of Kat, confidently showing off her body for nobody but her girlfriend? That was more inspiring than the half dozen shots of Vivian in a negligee any day.
Liquid Courage Page 12
