by Melissa Faye
“You will be if you rest, and if we take good care of you,” said Breck. He fumbled with the tent poles while she sat on the ground next to him. Sven had walked off to talk to another ACer, pointing to us and asking questions. I arranged the mattress, blankets, and pillows inside mine and Ben’s tent, pushing my bag of supplies to the side. I lay down on the blankets and stared up at the neon yellow roof.
“Do you think we can trust Matana?” I asked Ben.
“I don’t think we have many choices anymore,” said Ben. “My gut says she can be trusted. What do you think?”
“Same,” I said. “I don’t know what to do about everyone else in the camp knowing why we’re here. Will the others find out? If they find out, will they tell on us?”
“We should try to keep this a secret,” Breck said from outside the tent. He lay a hand on Etta’s stomach. “Just Matana and Sven. No one else needs to know.”
SVEN LEFT US TO REST. When we got up a few hours later we realized that our secret was already out. People weren’t just staring at us. Some rushed over to hug us and ask if it was true. We went to the dining area and people pointed as we entered. The room was set up with a few long tables with benches on both sides. We got plates of food and tried to sit politely near another couple.
“I’m Daphne,” one woman said. She had long blonde hair and a dimple on her cheek. She reminded me of Vonna – cheerful and idealistic. “This is Irena.” She pointed to her partner. “Is it true what they’re saying? That you’re here because you’re pregnant?” She pronounced the word ‘pregnant’ delicately like it was a word she had learned that very morning. “Everyone is talking about it!”
“Leave them alone, sweetie,” said Irena. “It’s none of our business.”
Several other people came to join us, hoping to learn more. “It’s true!” Daphne announced to the group. “She is pregnant! They’re having a baby! A real baby that’s theirs and not a clone!” People gasped and chatted about it as if we weren’t there.
“How did it happen?” a man asked Daphne, as if she was the expert now. “How could someone have gotten pregnant?”
“I bet it’s not real,” said another man. “There was probably a mistake somehow. It’s not possible.”
“I thought clones couldn’t have children,” Daphne said.
“We can have children,” Irena said. “But like before cloning, our bodies won’t do it.”
An older man with a hard face and frown sat down on the other side of Irena. “And if our bodies won’t do it, then that should be it,” he said.
“We can’t talk about this all the time, Li Fa,” said one woman. “We’re all here for similar reasons, but we don’t all see it the same way.”
“But maybe they’re not,” Li Fa said, nodding towards us. He turned towards me. “Do you understand, girl, what we’re doing here? Why we’re not in one of those so-called communities?”
“Yes, I do,” I said. I had been thinking a lot about the small slip of paper Vonna had found while we were walking over the past several days. “You believe that if we can’t have kids, we should let the human race go extinct.”
“Some of us do,” said Irena. “Some of us are here because we don’t agree with the way communities work. Li Fa here -”
“Do you believe that? That cloning is immoral?” asked Li Fa. Most of the other people in the tent were quieter now, eavesdropping.
“We’re here for your help,” said Breck. “We don’t want trouble. We don’t want to pick sides.”
“But you’ll have to pick sides at some point.” Matana had arrived and was sitting at the far end of the table. “Even if we help you and you leave, you have to pick sides. What’s happening right now isn’t going to last forever.”
I knew people were against cloning, and I knew cloning was only a makeshift solution until we solved infertility. But I had never heard someone say it like Matana had. Like the change was going to be social, and not medical.
“You listen to Matana,” Li Fa said as if we weren’t already. “She was the one who showed me this place. We’re here because cloning is wrong. It’s unnatural. When animals go extinct, they don’t clone themselves to stop it. We’re creatures of the earth like any others. And if our time has run its course, then that’s that.”
“That’s not why I came here,” said Daphne. She turned to Etta. “Don’t listen to him. Not everyone is against cloning. It’s more like what Irena said. We’re...anti-community.” Some people nodded their heads, though some looked as angry as Li Fa.
“But what if Etta is really pregnant?” asked Irena. “I mean, Etta, I’m sure you are. But what if people start having kids again?”
“I doubt it,” Li Fa grumbled.
“You doubt what?” Breck hissed. “Do you think we’re lying?”
“Maybe! Maybe you want to believe a story you’ve been told. Maybe they’re using you to send a message – that the human race isn’t over yet. Maybe they sent you here as proof that fertility is coming back, and that meanwhile, we need to keep cloning.”
“I don’t want myself cloned,” a woman said. “But I can’t help that. I mostly don’t want to get stuck in a place where I don’t have enough money to buy good food.” She wore a Gray insignia – one of the few people wearing theirs. She looked at me knowingly, and I felt guilty. I wasn’t really Gray. Or at least, I hadn’t been a Gray long enough to deserve her empathy.
“Well, that’s why we’re here,” said Matana. “Because we know the government’s plan isn’t working and isn’t fair.” She looked at the four of us. “So, will you support us?”
“I don’t know what you mean by support, Matana,” said Breck.
“I mean, will you support our camp? Help the camp run? And make sure we’re not exposed?” Everyone was silent now that Matana was talking. “If we’re helping you, I expect the four of you to keep an open mind while you’re here. Maybe we have information, not only about fertility, that will change your minds. And if and when you leave, we expect you to keep our secrets.”
“That’s fair,” I said. “We appreciate your support. We would never want any of you to be found out or punished on our account. If these are your beliefs, and this is how you want to live, we support that. We don’t like the community system, and leaders turned on us. We don’t have a solution though, and we’re mostly focused on Etta’s safety.”
There was a rumble of whispers around the room. People were looking at us, but now it was with less interest and more contempt.
“She said we don’t know just yet,” said Breck. “But we will hear you out.”
“Good,” said Matana. Again, voices dropped when she spoke. “That’s all I ask.”
THE NEXT MORNING, WE joined Sven to walk around the camp and determine the best place for each of us to work. Breck wanted us to be all together throughout the day, but Sven wouldn’t budge.
“I understand that Etta should be working an easier job,” said Sven. “She shouldn’t be building or farming. But that’s a type of work you’d be suited well for, Breck. And Yami has a medical background, so she should be supporting the doctors. Ben, you can work with Breck with the building maintenance team.”
“No.” Breck would not back down. “We are happy to help the camp run. We owe you at least that much. But I am not going to let us be separated.”
“Breck, maybe we should try it.” Breck’s protectiveness was wearing on Etta’s nerves. Every time he insisted on doing something in the name of keeping her safe, she looked more flustered. “It’s not such a big deal.”
“Etta!” Breck was snippy too, apparently. “Don’t get me wrong, Sven. I need to make sure Etta takes care of herself. You know, that she takes breaks and drinks water...”
“Breck, I can do that myself,” Etta said. “We should go along with what’s best for the camp. We’ll check in with each other for meals and at night.” Etta was still holding onto the community motto: what’s best for the community is best for all of us. Though
it sounded unnatural in Young Woods, it fit well here.
Breck couldn’t win against both Etta and Sven. Etta was assigned to the kitchen. Breck went off to work with the builders, who often worked near the kitchen area. I went to meet with the head doctor, Torrice.
“You’re with the pregnant girl,” said Torrice as she wiped her hands on her pants. “You’re going to help with medicine? That will be good. We lost one of our doctors to do some engineering work on the wind turbines. What sort of experience do you have?”
“I’m only an intern,” I said. I chuckled to myself. I wasn’t technically a medical intern anymore. “But I know a lot. And still have some resources on my TekCast.”
Torrice laughed loudly. Her smile and exuberance were contagious, and I laughed along with her.
“I’ll teach you what you need to know,” said Torrice. “We don’t have any patients currently, but we do have folks coming in and out throughout the week. Meanwhile, we can work on treating recurring illnesses and working with the kitchen to make sure the food is sanitary and healthy.”
I learned about the doctors’ work here while I assisted my coworkers throughout the day. Torrice was in charge, having come from a high level position in her community. There were two other people working with her: Harvey and Dinah. Harvey was around my age and relatively new to the camp. Dinah was much more gruff; she reminded me of Li Fa.
The medical tent had a few beds and a supply closet. There was enough space for two or three patients; hopefully we wouldn’t need to see more at one time. I could see why Torrice wanted another person around; people stopped by for bandages and medical packs throughout the day. I was in charge of organizing the supplies for the day while I observed and learned. There was a new box of materials that had arrived a few days earlier and no one had gotten around to opening it yet.
“How did you and your friends find out about us?” Harvey asked. We were working together, going through a set of thermal pads. “We’re not easy to find.”
I wasn’t sure how to answer. I didn’t want to give up our source, Henny, but didn’t want to seem like I was hiding something.
“We were looking for shelter in another community,” I said slowly. “We heard people talking about this camp. We figured it out from there.”
“You overheard someone?” Dinah asked. She had her back to us on the other side of the tent and didn’t turn to us while she spoke. “I don’t know many ACers who talk about our camp in public. At least not loudly enough to be overheard by a group of strangers.”
“People mess up, Dinah,” said Harvey. “I was talking about the camp in my commune right before I left my community. I’m sure I could have let something slip in front of the wrong people. They wouldn’t have known what they heard unless they already knew we existed. Did you already know we existed, Yami?”
“Yes,” I said. I was grateful for the excuse. “We were trying to overhear the right thing. We knew there were camps like this where we could be safe. It was just a matter of finding one.”
“We’re not here to hand out money and food,” Dinah said. She turned around now and enunciated her words by pointing the scalpel in her hand towards us. “We’re here because we believe in things. And we’re risking a lot having you here if people are coming after you.”
“What are you getting at, Dinah?” asked Harvey.
“I don’t trust you and your friends,” said Dinah. “You can organize boxes and have some philosophical conversations with us, but that doesn’t mean you won’t turn on us the second it makes sense for you and that baby. If the baby even exists”
I slammed my hand down on counter. “I would do anything to protect my friend and her baby! But that doesn’t mean I would betray anyone here!”
Torrice came back in from collecting vegetables from the garden to create vitamin packs. “Dinah, what are you up to? Leave that girl alone.” Dinah turned back around. I could see her shaking her head angrily. “I don’t care if you don’t trust Yami. I’m not sure I do either.” Torrice turned towards me now. “I’m sorry, Yami. But it’s hard to trust newbies around here.” She turned back to Dinah.
“I need help in here, so right now Yami is helping us. After that, we’ll see what happens.” I looked at Torrice as she turned away from me. On the back of her neck, under her hairline, was the same symbol I had seen on the flyers and on Alexis’s wall. An oval with a V. An owl. Torrice was a rebel like Alexis. Maybe I was now, too.
I went back to my work, still fuming. Torrice had greeted me so warmly; now she was saying she didn’t trust me? I considered telling her that I had been part of the Underground too. I wondered who else had been involved. Had they bombed buildings in their own communities? Had they taken violent actions and gotten people hurt? The more I thought about it, the more I disliked being stuck there.
“YEAH, I HAD SOMEONE argue with me this morning,” Breck said while we ate lunch. “A girl named Carrie. She warned me to stay away from the wind turbines. Apparently she thinks we’re here to sabotage them. I barely understand how they work!”
“I’m not used to being treated like this,” Etta said. “I didn’t think it would be like this. Everyone in our community is so friendly. We would never do this to people.”
“That’s not true,” said Breck. “They abducted us. Then the community we visited treated us strangely because they didn’t recognize us. And then they came after us too.”
“Fine,” Etta conceded. “Everyone is terrible everywhere.” Breck laughed.
“Really,” he said. “It’s about keeping you and the baby safe. If people don’t like us, I don’t care. I just want more time with Matana.”
“So do I,” Ben said. “Someone was telling me she has a whole library of texts that aren’t available on a standard TekCast. There’s a lot to be learned here and taken back to the community. Matana’s going to be an incredible resource.” I wasn’t sure when exactly Ben planned on returning to Young Woods, and didn’t ask.
Matana had time to meet with us the following afternoon. I was ready for a break from the medical tent after another day of glares and rude snipes from Dinah, and Etta was happy to be off her feet. We met Matana by her tent, where there was a small table and benches.
“This is all from our library,” said Matana as she pointed to the books she had brought with her. “It’s the small building by the dining building. We don’t have much, but we do what we can with what we have.”
“What can you tell us?” Ben asked. Etta had already grabbed a book titled Child Rearing in the 19th and 20th Centuries.
“Like I said, I don’t know everything,” said Matana. “That book has helpful information on taking care of children after they’re born, Etta. It’s a history of how people used to do it. It will be more helpful when your pregnancy is further along.”
I sorted through the other books. Like Ben had predicted, they were nothing like what I had access to before.
“This one is going to be most helpful for the moment,” Matana continued. “A History of Pregnancy and Obstetrics.” She flipped to a page and we all leaned over from our benches to look. “This is where it talks about the fourth month of pregnancy. Right now, the fetus is two to four inches long. It’s moving its arms and legs, but you won’t feel it yet.”
“Feel what?” Etta asked.
“In a few weeks, you should be able to feel the baby moving around inside you.” Etta’s eyes grew wide.
“What else should we know about four months?” Breck asked.
“Right now, we should be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat,” Matana said. “We don’t have the equipment to do it, though. A Med might, but we can’t risk going to one.”
“So what should we do?” said Breck.
“The book says that the woman should exercise and stretch. Go on a few walks every day. Stretch in the morning and evenings.”
“That’s it?” Etta said. “Go for a walk?”
“You’ll need to eat healthy,” Matana said. �
�All of our food here is already reasonably healthy, so you don’t need to eat anything differently. The book also recommends folic acid and vitamin D. We have some vitamins in our Med, but only enough for a few weeks. I’ll put them on the list for the next time someone does a resource run.
“Meanwhile, take these books and read them. They won’t all be relevant yet, but we can discuss questions you have. Let’s meet twice per week to check Etta’s vital signs and discuss child development.”
“That would be great,” Etta said. I put the books in a pile and stood to carry them to our tents. Breck didn’t move.
“When can we hear the heartbeat?” he asked Matana.
“Like I said, Breck, we don’t have the resources to hear the heartbeat right now.”
“When will we be able to then?” he asked.
Matana opened the book she had passed over to me and scanned a few pages. “According to this book, we should be able to use a stethoscope at 18 weeks,” she said. “That’s not too long from now. How about we check in a week?”
“If we can’t hear the heartbeat...how do we know if the baby is healthy? How do we know if Etta is healthy?”
“I have no other solutions, Breck. It’s a good sign that Etta’s symptoms align with what the book predicts. We can keep track of that over time.”
“Thank you, Matana,” I said. I could see the worried look on Breck’s face and didn’t want him to lose it in front of Matana, our only reliable source of information. “We’ll read this over. Then we’ll meet again in a few days, if that’s ok?”
“Yes. I’ll let you know.”
We returned to our tent area and divvied up the books. Ben tried to make a case for him getting all of them at once, but was quickly shot down. We read in silence until dinner time.
Chapter Sixteen
As weeks passed and July turned to August, we grew accustomed to our lives in the ACer camp. Breck transitioned to working on the farm. The farmers appreciated another young, strong worker and Breck could constantly check on Etta while delivering food to the kitchen. I was used to Dinah being rude to me in the medical tent, and mostly stuck to speaking with Harvey and Torrice. Harvey and I had a bit of a game going where we compared our communities. Most things were the same between them, but it was exciting when we found differences.
