by Judy Corry
I pulled my car into a corner spot at the back of the parking lot, popped my trunk, and grabbed my camping stuff. After shoving them in the backseat, I slammed the door shut, but it popped back open—I hadn't put my sleeping bags in far enough.
Stupid sleeping bags. I shoved them into the middle of the seat, my temper flaring as I did so. Then I slammed the door shut with much more power than it needed. Stupid car. Stupid everything.
I gripped the handle on the passenger side and swung the door wide open before stomping my feet on the ground to get the snow off. Then as I lowered myself into my seat—my bed for the night—I bumped my head, hitting the same spot I'd banged this morning in Lexi's closet. Stupid small car.
I'd been on the verge of tears since my conversation with my dad, but I couldn't fight them back any longer as the reality of another long, freezing night loomed ahead.
Tears clouded my vision as I pulled my wet shoes off and dropped them into the back.
My phone buzzed under my butt. I reached my hand around until I found it. I wiped the moisture out of my eyes, so I could see the screen. If it was my dad again...
But it wasn't. It was Lexi.
Lexi: Are you coming back tonight? I had my dad work on my window after dinner, using the excuse of it being dangerous in case of a fire.
I drew in one of those shuddering breaths that told me I'd been crying too hard as I punched in my response.
Noah: Your dad doesn't want me there. I don't want to get you in any more trouble than I already have.
Lexi: Don't worry about me.
My windshield was already covered in a thin sheet of snow.
Noah: I'll be fine.
I could survive this. Lots of people went to bed cold and hungry each night.
My phone started ringing, and Lexi's name popped up on the screen. I sighed then swiped my thumb across the screen to answer.
"I'll be fine, Lexi. I have two sleeping bags."
"Stop trying to be a tough guy, Noah." She apparently wasn't one to give up easily. "I already checked the weather and it's going to be really bad, worse than yesterday. Just come over. Please. I won't be able to relax tonight if you don't."
I looked out the window again, watching the big snowflakes come down fast and hard.
"Okay," I finally said.
"Okay?" The relief in her voice made me feel a little warmer inside.
"Yes, I'll come. Just don't blame me if your dad finds out and grounds you for the rest of eternity."
"He won't find out."
I parked at the end of her street ten minutes later and filled my backpack with a change of clothes and everything I'd need to keep me until the next morning.
Then I headed down the sidewalk to her house, sneaking down her side-yard like I had last night.
I texted Lexi to tell her that I was there, and she appeared at her bedroom window a moment later. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and it looked like she was already wearing her pajamas—a gray tank top and sweatpants. Had she pretended to go to bed already just for me? It was just barely after eight o'clock.
I grabbed the old bucket that I'd seen sitting against the tree last night, turned it on its lip and used it to help myself through Lexi's window.
It was a tight fit, so I had to fall forward to get myself the rest of the way in, but once I was inside her warm bedroom, Lexi shut the window.
"My dad is still in the living room watching TV," she whispered.
I nodded, brushing the snow off myself as I stood. "Thank you for sneaking me in again."
She shrugged. "It's no problem." Then she turned to walk away.
I gripped her arm and dipped my head down to really look her in the eyes. "I know what you're risking, so don't say it's no problem. I was there to see your dad's reaction this afternoon."
She looked to the side, clearly uncomfortable on the subject of her dad. How bad had that conversation been, anyway?
"My dad is overprotective. We aren't doing anything wrong." She met my gaze again. "If I get grounded for keeping you out of the cold, it's worth it."
She sat on her bed and watched me as I took off my backpack and then my letterman jacket. I felt uncomfortable under her scrutiny, but I tried to ignore it. What did she see in me? In her mind, was I still just her brother's annoying best friend, or could she possibly see me as something more?
When I met her eyes, she looked away before I could figure her out.
She cleared her throat. "So what restaurant did you hit up tonight?"
"McDonald's." I sat in the chair at her desk.
She squinted. "I never would have pegged you for a McDonald's kind of guy."
I shifted in my chair. "When you eat out as often as I do, you gotta try everything."
"So what did you get tonight?"
"I ordered chicken nuggets. And to try and be a little healthier, I added a side salad in there, too."
She pulled one leg on the bed and set it under herself. "Their chicken nuggets are the best. My dad made this weird Asian dish that one of his coworkers told him about."
"And I'm guessing it wasn't a new family favorite?" I asked.
She shook her head. "Definitely not. I could really go for some chicken nuggets, though. Maybe I should take this whole rebellious daughter thing to an extreme and sneak out to get some."
I laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure the ones I ordered would have tasted good."
"Wait, would have tasted good? Didn't you get some?" She gave me a confused look.
I realized my mistake and looked around awkwardly. "I didn't actually get to try them. My card was declined."
Her eyebrows raised. "It was declined? So you didn’t eat any dinner?"
I shrugged. "No. But I had a pretty good lunch, so I should be okay."
She stood right up from her bed. "I'm not about to let you starve, Noah. Just tell me when you don't get food. I can get you some."
"But you said yourself that your dinner was gross. I figured I wasn't missing out on much."
"I can find something else. It's not like that's the only thing we have to eat in the house." She gave me a scolding look and headed for the door. "You should've said something, Noah. I'll be right back."
I stood and grabbed her hand to stop her. "You really don't have to. I'm fine."
She looked back at me meaningfully. "It's really no problem, Noah. It’s not like my dad guards the fridge or takes a count of exactly how much leftover food there is. I mean, we usually have you and Easton eating us out of house and home, so it really isn't going to be that big of a deal."
I nodded and released her hand, feeling a wave of emotion coming over me. I didn't deserve this. She was being too good to me. "Thank you."
She opened the door slowly, peeked her head out to make sure no one was watching, and then left. She was back five minutes later with a sandwich.
She shut the door behind her before handing me the plate. "I wasn't sure which kind of sandwich you liked, so I just made ham and cheese. I hope that's okay."
"This is great. Thank you again, Lexi, you're kind of like my guardian angel right now."
She shook her head and waved me away. "I'm just being a good fake girlfriend."
I smiled. "Pretty much the best fake girlfriend ever."
She looked down, and there was something in her expression that made me wonder if I'd said something wrong. I'd only repeated what she'd said about the fake boyfriend/girlfriend thing.
But after today and everything that had happened—the kiss, me telling her about my family, getting caught by her dad, her taking care of me again—it really didn't seem like it was fake anymore. If it was, I should be going to Easton for all of this stuff. He was the one I was really supposed to be friends with.
But maybe that was just it. Maybe Lexi had moved up higher in level of importance in my life.
And if that was true, I needed to find a way to let her know that this wasn't pretend to me anymore. This was real. And I wanted it to be real for he
r, too.
I just hoped I wouldn't scare her off while I tried to figure this out.
21
Lexi
While Noah ate his sandwich, I went to hide in my bathroom with the excuse of brushing my teeth, uncomfortable with how he had looked at me after I'd made the comment about us being fake. Today had been crazy. My dad didn't want me anywhere near Noah. But I just couldn't do what my dad wanted me to do anymore. I was sixteen years old. I had things that I wanted in my life. And right now...I wanted Noah. Deep down I had always wanted Noah.
Even though it was impossible to think he might want me back.
But that kiss... Oh. That kiss and the way he'd confided in me and no one else was making me think that crazy things like that might be possible.
The memory of our kiss under the bleachers swirled over me as I gripped the sink, trying to calm down my racing heart. We kept saying this thing between us was just for Raven, or Harrison's benefit, but I barely even cared what Harrison thought of me anymore.
I brushed my teeth in fast circles as I tried to figure this whole thing out. If by some miracle Noah did like me, was it even possible for us to have a future? Easton had been okay with us pretending to be together, but I doubted he'd be okay with it being real. He'd said so himself that he knew what Noah was like with girls, and that he'd beat him up if he touched me for real.
And I already knew for sure that my dad wouldn't be okay with it.
But was it so crazy to think that none of that mattered? That if Noah did share my feelings, we could beat the odds stacked against us?
There was a quiet knock on the bathroom door. I stilled my toothbrushing. "Yes?" It came out sounding all garbled.
"Is it okay if I brush my teeth?" Noah asked from the other side of the door.
I quickly rinsed my mouth and said, "Yeah, sure." Then I let him in.
He stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. He must have noticed the alarm on my face because he said, "I'm just shutting it in case your dad or Easton come into your room while we're in here."
My eyes went wide, but I nodded. "That's a good idea." I was tempted to lock it too but didn't, since that was probably taking things too far.
He squeezed past me, his frame towering over mine, and went to the sink. He turned on the water.
I leaned against the wall behind him, looking at his reflection in the mirror. I hadn't noticed when he'd first gotten here since my room was only lit by the lamp in the corner, but his eyes were tinged with red around the rims.
Had Noah been crying?
On the phone, he had sounded like he might be trying to cover up a wobbling voice. It hurt my heart to think about it.
His hair was messier than usual. He sported a few-days-old scruff on his face. I touched my chin, vaguely remembering how it had chaffed against my skin earlier as we'd kissed. I'd been so caught up in the sensations of everything else that the roughness of it hadn't bothered me. In fact, I wouldn't mind feeling it again.
Would it be wrong to tell him I needed more practice?
I forced my gaze away from his face, not wanting him to think I was staring. I took in his broad shoulders instead. He was so much taller than me, I was practically a dwarf next to him. But that was part of the pull I had for him. It made me feel petite, like a girl instead of the tomboy I felt like most of the time—though it was also probably part of the reason why he'd always treated me like I was such a kid.
His arms were really nice, too. Toned, and still tanned from football season. And I found myself wanting to find a reason to be wrapped up in them again.
I shook my head. What was coming over me? Daydreaming about Noah when he wasn't around was one thing, but daydreaming about him when he was looking right back at me through the mirror was another thing entirely.
So I decided to talk about something that would make my ogling less obvious. "Do you know why your card was declined?"
He spit in the sink and shrugged. "I called my dad, and turns out, he transferred all my money out."
"What? Why would he do that?" Because there was about no chance he was having money problems. Noah's dad was loaded.
Noah set his toothbrush down on the counter, not really looking at me. "He thought I was using the money for drugs."
"Drugs? Really?" My dad had said as much, but it was still weird to hear it from Noah.
"Apparently, your dad isn't the only one who thinks that I'm bad." He turned and leaned against the sink, so he was facing me instead of my reflection. "Anyway, when I told him that I was sleeping in my car, he kind of changed his tune."
"If he knows you're sleeping in your car, why didn't he invite you to his house?"
"He said he was gonna talk to my mom or something, but it wouldn't surprise me if he got too distracted by Paige's dance recital tonight. He was in a hurry again to get off the phone with me."
"That's so messed up. I'm so sorry, Noah."
He shrugged like it was no problem. "It's what I'm used to. Whatever." He picked up his things. "Anyway, I think I'm ready to turn in for the night."
I pushed myself away from the wall. "Right. Me too."
We both tried to go out the door at the same time and ended up bumping shoulders. My skin sparked to life where our arms touched. And I wanted to touch him again.
But he stepped back, creating some distance between us. "You first." He gestured for me to walk ahead of him.
"Thanks."
I led the way back into my bedroom. He turned off the light in my bathroom before coming out.
I went into the closet and turned on the light. "I, um, put away the blankets you used last night since I didn't want my dad to see them."
He stepped up closer and easily pulled them off the top shelf, his bicep flexing with the movement.
"Do you know how unfair that is?" I asked.
"What?"
"That you never have to use a step stool."
He smiled. "Do you really want to be six-three like me?" he asked.
"No."
"Good. Because I bumped my head in the same place twice today."
"Ouch."
He chuckled. "Yeah, ouch." He dropped the blanket to the floor before turning back to me, looking like he wanted to say something.
"What is it?" I asked.
He shrugged, and when he looked at me, his dark eyes made me feel warm all over. He tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "I like how short you are."
"Y-you do?" I asked, my pulse starting to thrum to life again.
"Yeah." He let his hand drop to his side. We just stood there staring awkwardly for a moment as I tried to figure him out.
Did he like me?
I really, really wanted him to.
But instead of asking and possibly making things really awkward between us, I turned to walk back out of my closet. "Well, I'm going to bed now."
"Lexi?" he said.
I turned back, my heart in my throat. "Yeah?"
He took my hand in his, stepping closer. After just a moment's hesitation, he leaned closer and pulled me against his body in an embrace. "Thank you for being there for me," he whispered in my ear, sending warm, blissful chills down my spine.
I hugged him tighter, taking advantage of this rare moment to breathe Noah in. He smelled amazing. He felt amazing. I didn't ever want to let go. "I'm here for you anytime you need me. Always have been."
I expected him to step away, but he didn't. Instead, he just kept holding me. We were so close. I could hear his heart beating against my ear. I wasn't a doctor or anything, but it seemed like it was beating a little fast. Possibly as fast as mine.
He was affected by our closeness.
I could actually make his heart race. All these years of thinking the feelings between us were one-sided, and I finally had evidence that Noah Taylor might feel something for me.
He slowly pulled back, and when our eyes met, I burned. Because the way he was looking at me was like nothing I'd seen before. His eyes were full of desire, and
when his gaze flicked down to my lips, my stomach muscles tightened. He was going to kiss me.
But he didn't. He just kept looking at me in a way that made my stomach twist up in so many knots I didn't think it would ever come untangled.
"What do you think is the most appropriate way for me to show you my thanks?" he whispered as he ran his thumb across my lips. My nerve endings went nuts, and I had to bite my lip to keep from going crazy.
I swallowed. "Um..." But I couldn't say anything more because Noah Taylor was touching me and making it impossible to think. Impossible to talk.
He smiled in a detached sort of way at my reaction, and then his hand traveled down my neck and along my shoulder, a path of fire following everywhere he touched.
Maybe it wasn't such a smart idea to wear a tank top to bed after all, because the way his electric touch was making me feel made it hard to remember why I shouldn't just throw myself at him right now.
I blinked my eyes shut.
This is Noah Taylor. He's a player. My dad would kill me if I got involved with him.
But when I looked back at him, all I saw was the guy I'd wanted for years. And he was looking at me the way I'd wanted him to for as long as I could remember.
"Lexi, I..." he started.
"Yes?" I asked, my heart swelling with anticipation. This seemed like it might just be the most important moment of my entire life.
"I—" He blinked his eyes shut and shook his head. When he opened them, the look in his eyes had changed. "I-it's getting late. We should probably go to bed."
I swallowed, feeling my hopes drop into a tailspin of broken dreams. "Yes. W-we should."
It took all my strength to make myself step back from him and break the magnetic hold he had on me. I slowly turned, trying not to let him see the disappointment crashing over me like waves on a sailboat in the middle of a storm.
I moved one foot out of the closet. Then the next. Forcing myself to leave when all I wanted to do was stay.
