by Helen Vera
I try to keep a lid on my anger. It boils under the surface all the time. I do realize now, after openly talking about it in therapy with Vivian, that it’s both a blessing and a curse. I take a long, leisurely sip of dragon blood, enjoying the way it burns my throat. The lights go out all of a sudden and I hear Felix clap beside me. Spotlights flood the DJ’s stage and a 3D hologram of fucking Jon Snow appears. People go crazy when they see him. The club shines with the light of a hundred phones as they all take pictures and videos of the hologram.
“So I take it your new resident DJ is a fan of Game of Thrones?”
“Obviously.” He nods.
We move to sit down at his trademark table. He looks like a king in his throne-like chair. I enjoy watching him in his element. “You, dear brother, have outdone yourself this time. Your club is making headlines as we speak.”
He shrugs and orders a bottle of champagne with caviar on the side. I’m definitely proud of what he’s accomplished so far, but he doesn’t need to know that. “Thanks. It’s been a long journey, but it’s worth it.”
Two women approach our table. One of them stands next to Felix’s chair and whispers something in his ear. He smiles and she offers him her hand. He takes it and gets up from his iron throne.
“Come dance with us.” Her blonde friend whispers in my ear.
“Another time,” I look away not interested. She pouts and walks over to Felix. They both lead him by the arm towards the icicle decorated stairs. He turns his head to look at me and grins like a Cheshire cat.
The overhead lights finally come back to life. I decide to send Vivian one more text. This time, I’m going to ask her out. I avoid mentioning our sessions and simply invite her to dinner. There are many things that need to be said. She deserves an apology among other shit.
Fuck. I need my cock inside her. Just thinking about her makes me hard. I down the rest of my drink and help myself to some caviar. The DJ spins a new hip-hop track and I get up to watch the dance floor from the balcony. Dancing’s not really my thing, but I can imagine Vivian swaying to the music, her hips moving enticingly to the beat. My imagination puts her in a burgundy dress that clings to her curves like second skin. She gives me a come-hither look and licks her blood red lips. The beat is slow and steady now. She motions for me to follow her past the throngs of dancers. I lose sight of her red dress and she suddenly appears in the aquarium, completely naked. I watch her smile underwater, small bubbles escape her lips as I step forward to touch the glass. She looks like Venus de Milo, her curves sculpted to perfection.
She runs her hands seductively over her breasts. Her hair floats around her face like seaweed.
“Hey, Knight!”
A familiar voice yanks me back to reality. I blink and turn my head to find a bunch of fuckers from work in the VIP section. I spot none other than Jeremy hiding behind a dragon ice sculpture in the corner. “Look what the cat dragged in.”
He smiles nervously and joins the rest of the gang. They are loud and obnoxious as fuck. I sometimes wonder why I hired those brats in my firm. They send me a bottle of champagne and some kind of weird dessert that melts the second you touch it. I know they’re waiting for me to lose my temper so they can all have something to gossip about on Monday.
Jeremy comes up to me and apologizes for being an unprofessional ass at the office. He wants me to cancel his suspension. I open my mouth to say no, but then I decide to mess with him a little. “I’m willing to reconsider your suspension, but on one condition. You strip naked right here and slide down the cold icicle banister.”
His eyes widen in both shock and fear. “Mr. Knight I can’t d…”
“Oh come on. Why do you have to be such a pussy?”
He shakes his head and rushes back to the idiots’ table.
I throw my head back and laugh. The look on his face is fucking priceless.
A few minutes later, I receive an expensive bottle of bourbon. Only this time, it’s a group of women seated in the back. There’s a card on the silver tray. I open it to find their names and mobile numbers written in pink. I swallow and throw the card to the tray.
I tell the waiter to take away the bottle and then I get up from my chair. I feel their eyes burning holes into my back, but I keep on moving. My cock revolves around one woman now.
A woman who needs to answer my fucking texts.
14
VIVIAN
My baby loves bedtime.
She loves to wear her pajamas and cuddle her fluffy unicorn. Her room is basically a shrine dedicated to unicorns and dinosaurs. She has a weird fascination with Barney and enjoys bedtime stories about animals. She’s already tucked in, but I have yet to choose a story for tonight. I walk over to her small bookshelf and browse through her large collection of fairy tales and Disney characters. She tells me she wants a puppy story, so I pull out a book about a dog named Biscuit and read it to her.
Lucy yawns and falls asleep within minutes. I close the book and return it to the shelf. I feel incredibly blessed to have given birth to such a wonderful child. She finds happiness in the little things. I used to be like her once upon a time, but life changed me. I stretch my arms tiredly above my head and decide to take a long, relaxing bubble bath. I deserve it after spending two hours listening to Mr. Melrose talk about his fish. I sometimes wonder why I ever chose to become a psychiatrist. This job is emotionally demanding, and right now, I feel emotionally drained.
My weekend with Sue was fun and all, but I had this cloud called Jax Knight floating over my head the whole time. He showered me with texts but Sue banned me from texting him back. She even hid my phone in the pantry and I spent hours searching for the damn thing. I finally had the chance to read his latest message on our way back to the Big Apple.
Dinner tomorrow night?
The mere thought of seeing him again makes me feel on edge. My attraction to him is scary strong. It erases any logic left in my brain when I’m with him. Every time I remember our encounters, I blush and lose my concentration. I pause in front of my closet and try to remember what the hell I’m supposed to be doing.
“Right. Towels!” I slap my forehead. “Get it together, Vivian!”
I grab my towels and head for the bathroom. My body has been craving this bubble bath since the morning. I fill up the bathtub with steaming hot water and add my favorite lavender essential oil and Epsom salt. Today is unusually cold for November, but our penthouse is warm and toasty. I slip out of my silky emerald robe and dip my toes in the water.
My skin practically melts like chocolate in the amazingly scented bath. I close my eyes and surrender to the memories of Jaxthat flood my brain. I can still feel his fingers moving in and out of me, strumming my pussy like a guitar. His touch lights a fire in my soul. All the clichés in the world are not enough to describe him.
I imagine him in my bathroom, the lights of a hundred candles illuminating the golden tiles. He sits at the edge of the tub, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. His tattoos are on display like a work of art. I stand in the doorway, admiring the view. The flames kiss his chiseled jaw and high cheekbones as he looks at me with those mercury eyes. They beckon me over to him. I feel my legs moving on their own accord. There’s no resisting his call.
I drop my towel along the way and he feasts his eyes on my body like a hungry beast. His fingers are scorching hot on my hips as he pulls me to stand between his muscular thighs. He looks like a Greek God in his golden brown hair and those perfectly symmetrical features. His long fingers raise goosebumps on my skin as they burn a trail to my breasts. I gasp and close my eyes when his thumb teases my nipple. He snakes an arm around my waist and brings me closer to his wicked mouth. He leaves open mouth kisses on my belly as he cups and kneads my breasts in his magical hands.
I hold his head closer to my chest and thread my fingers through his wavy hair. I drown in pleasure, struggling to breathe as his kisses land on my pubic bone. He licks and sucks my flushed skin and dips a finger bet
ween my legs. I’m already wet and ready for him.
“Jax..” I whisper his name.
He stops kissing me and looks up at my face. His pupils are dilated like a wolf in the wilderness.
“Get in the tub.” He says in a gruff voice. I love the way he takes charge. His commanding tone sends a delicious shiver down my spine. He lets go of me and I swing my right leg over the tub and dip my toes in the warm water. Rose petals float on the surface as I grab hold of the sides of the bathtub and get in. Jax stands up and towers over me like the tattooed beast he is. He grabs the basket of bath bombs from the marble sink and chooses a sweet smelling cotton candy bomb. He drops it in the tub and we watch it spin and transform the water into a pink ocean of bubbles. My knight bends forward and rests one hand on the edge of the tub. He uses his other hand to take off his towel and it falls into a puddle on the tiled floor.
I drool at the sight of his massive cock as he gets into the large tub with me. The bubbles barely cover his torso as he sits on the opposite end and grins wolfishly at me. I lick my lips and wait for his next move. He grabs the remaining bath bombs and drops them in the water between us. The bubbles multiply their color shifts from pink to baby blue. I feel Jax’s fingers on my legs. He suddenly drags me by the thighs across the tub. Bubbles spill over the edge, flooding the bathroom in fluffy suds. I hang onto his biceps for balance as he kisses me hungrily, urgently. His tongue tastes like candy. I moan and wrap my arms around his wide shoulders, his powerful muscles flex at my touch.
My thighs circle his waist underwater as he squeezes my ass cheeks and grinds me against his hard erection. I dig my manicured nails into his wet skin when his tip rubs against my clit. I need to come so bad. He keeps a tight grip on my cheeks to stop me from moving and turns his attention to my throat. He licks and bites my flesh, leaving angry red marks on my neck. His tongue drives me crazy. I beg him to fuck me, but he smiles devilishly and continuous his sweet, endless torture.
My phone rings all of a sudden, putting an end to my daydream. I gasp and sit up. Water sloshes all around me as I reach out to grab my iPhone. An unknown number flashes on my screen, much to my disappointment. I secretly want Jax to call me, especially after fantasizing about him like that. I miss waking up every morning to someone sleeping next to me. I miss the rush and excitement I used to feel when I was young and in love. I spent the past year feeling incredibly miserable and lonely. I’m honestly tired of feeling this way.
I silence my phone and scroll through Jax’s text messages. I smile when I read his latest text. He wants us to have dinner at a new restaurant in Manhattan called Public Kitchen. I Google the place and excitement fills me when I see the photos and menu. I love trying out new restaurants in New York. I used to do it all the time before getting pregnant with Lucy. Not all fancy restaurants are baby friendly, so I sacrificed this hobby of mine for the sake of motherhood.
I finally muster up the courage to send him a reply. It takes me more than ten minutes to type my short message. I hesitate before hitting send. Sue and her annoying voice pop into my head and warn me not to do it. I ignore her warning and send it anyway.
Fine. I’ll be there.
I say goodbye to my wonderful bubble bath and watch it drain away as I wrap my body in a towel. I need to plan my outfit for tomorrow night because I know I’ll be too nervous to make any fashion decisions.
I turn on the lights in my walk-in closet and avoid glancing at Andrew’s empty side. I browse my vast collection of evening dresses but none of them scream dinner date to me. I finally settle on a black flowy skirt and a crimson silk blouse. The ensemble is classy yet sexy at the same time. At least I hope it is.
I grab a clean pair of cozy winter pajamas from the shelf and get dressed. My bed is toasty warm thanks to our impeccable heating system, so I dive under the covers and switch off my bedside lamp.
Jax Knight is all I see when I close my eyes. I slowly drift off to sleep with him on my mind.
15
VIVIAN
My Louboutin heels make a soft clicking sound on the topaz mosaic floor as I rush towards Public Kitchen. I’m twenty minutes late thanks to New York’s horrible traffic. My Uber driver, bless his heart, tried to find a shortcut to avoid the insane streets, but we ended up getting stuck for more than ten minutes on Second Avenue.
I unbutton my Burberry coat and smile at the friendly waitress. I’m nervous as hell, but I manage to ask her if Jax is here. She nods and offers to take me to his table. The elegantly decorated restaurant is packed with people. I spot a garden outside the tall French windows. Fairy lights adorn the trees and a few customers are actually dining outside despite the cold weather. It’s incredibly cozy indoors and the trio of fireplaces on the left make you feel like you’re inside a winter chalet in Aspen.
Jax is waiting by a table next to the window. He smiles charmingly when he sees me. His gray button-up shirt matches the colors of his eyes and his black slacks hug his muscular thighs perfectly. He looks incredibly scrumptious. I blush when I remember my bathtub fantasy and pray my cheeks don’t betray me. He reaches out and kisses my hand in a strangely polite gesture.
“Vivian.” He greets me. His eyes travel down to my tulle skirt before they make their way up to my face. I’m actually wearing lipstick and mascara for a change. After applying my makeup, I stared at the mirror and was pleasantly surprised by my reflection. I forgot how nice I looked with the slightest hint of mascara. My lashes are thick making my eyes look bigger, while the burgundy lipstick was the perfect companion to my crimson blouse. I do enjoy looking and feeling pretty, but my confidence really took a hit when I first discovered Andrew’s infidelity.
I brush away my negative thoughts and sit down across from Jax. The waitress hands us our menus before leaving. The acoustic French music playing from the speakers is fun and upbeat. I scan the menu, but my hunger feels a million miles away. I feel Jax’s eyes on me, so I look up and smile awkwardly at him. “So, what are you in the mood for?” He asks.
“Umm...honestly, I have no idea. everything on the menu looks delicious.”
“How about we share two main dishes and two appetizers?” He suggests.
“Sounds good.” I smile.
He orders grilled lamb chops with fresh goat cheese and the famous black truffle egg pizza everyone’s been talking about online. I glance out the window to find a smartly dressed man staring at me. I tuck a strand of pin-straight hair behind my ear and ignore his blatant ogling. Jax appears to have noticed said ogling. He hands the waitress his menu and turns his head to stare directly at the bearded guy. I hold my breath when he frowns and catches the same guy sneaking another glance at me.
“The fucker to my left is eye-fucking you.” He says in an offended voice.
“Really? I didn’t notice.” I say before taking a sip of water. I cross my fingers under the table and pray he keeps his calm and avoids transforming into the Hulk. The last thing I want is for him to make a scene and invite people to take photos and videos. I was already anxious about being seen with him, but the restaurant was on the Lower East Side. None of my so-called elitist friends and neighbors visit this area despite it being filled with indie boutiques and art galleries.
I watch Jax unfold his napkin, fish out a pen from his pocket and scribble down something in angry capital letters. His nostrils flare like a dragon. I can almost see smoke coming out of his ears. Was he jealous or simply in a bad mood?
“Jax, what are you doing?”
“Practicing my anger management techniques.” He replies with a hint of sarcasm.
He presses the napkin to the window and bangs on the glass. Luckily, everyone’s busy eating to notice the handsome yet grumpy man in the back. Jax catches the attention of bearded guy whose eyes land on the napkin. I watch him read the words. His expression changes from relaxed to terrified in an instant. He gets up from his chair and moves to a faraway table. Jax grins and refuses to show me what he wrote on that napkin.
�
�Did you threaten to kill him?” I ask.
“Not really.”
“Did you use violent language to scare him off?”
“Maybe.”
The young waitress interrupts my guessing game. She pours Merlot into our glasses and leaves the wine bottle on the table. “Come on. Tell me already.”
He shakes his head no. “If I tell you my secret, you’ll end up as dessert on my plate.”
He licks his lips enticingly and leans forward. I look away, shy and afraid he’ll read my mind. My very dirty mind. “So, what exactly are we doing here?” I ask in an effort to change the subject.
He toys with the salt shaker, a strand of golden brown hair escapes his freshly styled hair and kisses his forehead. I resist the urge to reach out and touch it. “I invited you to this place so we can have a nice dinner, free from interruptions. I also want to apologize for seducing you during this unfortunate phase you’re going through.”
