by Kim Jones
“Aunt Lori had to call my name a couple of times to get me to snap outta it. I followed you every day after that. If I couldn’t be there, I made sure someone I trusted was. I had to come back to Hattiesburg for a few months over the next summer and it drove me crazy to think you were there partying and having fun and wearing skimpy clothes and I couldn’t see you.”
Whoa. I couldn’t help it. It thrilled me to know Luke was jealous over me.
“After that night in the bar, I knew I couldn’t let you go. I’m not gonna lie, Dallas, I took you home with me because I had no choice. Frankie would have done everything in his power to hurt you. The club didn’t need the heat, but when you cried for me to lay with you and I wrapped you in my arms, you had me.” Tears were threatening to pour down my face. There it was. I had it. The truth had finally came out, and for some reason, it absolutely thrilled me.
“Everyone told me I was making a mistake. They thought I had let you go. When I became President, Regg became your official guardian and it almost killed me. I went two years without seeing you. I avoided you every chance I had. Then I went to the bar and there you were.”
The tears were now freely flowing down my face. We had arrived at my house and was sitting outside the gate. Luke put the car in park and turned to me, placing both hands on the side of my face, wiping my tears with his thumbs.
“I love you, Dallas. I have lied to you and hurt you and allowed others to hurt you. I will devote my whole life to making you happy, if you will give me that chance.”
My heart was beating hard, my breath was caught in my throat and my mind was screaming at me, telling me that this was what I wanted.
“I love you too, Luke. I’m sorry for being such a bitch. I want to try.” And try I would. I wasn’t sure if I could be an ol’ Lady. I wasn’t sure that was the life I wanted to live, but I was happy with Luke. And with Luke came the club. I owed it to myself to at least try. Luke was staring at me, his eyes full of love and his smile stretching across his face. I felt like I should say something, so I did, “I changed the code.”
Luke smirked and planted a light kiss on my nose, then whispered, “I know.”
Of course, Luke didn’t have any problem getting in. He didn’t have a problem unlocking my door either. He simply produced a key from his pocket and unlocked it. I started to say something, but he quieted me with a wink. Winks were sexy and made my stomach flutter, in turn allowing me to forget what in the hell I was even mad about.
Luke grabbed my hand and pulled me to the overstuffed couch in the library. It was the only piece of furniture in a room with hundreds of books. He sat down, pulling me on top of him-the couch swallowing us as we sat.
“You said you would try, but I don’t think you understand the extent of this. I want you to know that I am not trying to talk you outta it, but you need to know what you are getting yourself into.”
I didn’t know the extent of this situation or our relationship, but I did know that I wanted to be wherever Luke was. I can handle the other shit. I think.
“I can’t just make you my ol’ lady. I refuse to do that. In the position that I’m in and with the shit we have going on right now in the club, I will not bring someone in who will complicate shit. This choice is entirely up to you. I will train you, the girls will help you, but you have to know that this is my lifestyle. I won’t have you around as just my girlfriend. I want you as my supporter and I want you to agree to this life and make it your life, too.”
I now fully understood the meaning of “cold feet.” Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I felt like I was at a job interview and I would be lying if I said it didn’t piss me off just a little. Luke was in Devil’s Renegades President, LLC mode and long gone was my sweet guy from the car.
“You are with me and everyone knows it, but before I put a cut on you- letting everyone know that you belong to me; you are gonna have to earn it.” When he said it like that, I felt like a submissive who was trying to earn a collar. I wasn’t the submissive type.
“This can be a beautiful thing, Dallas, but only if you want it,” he said, a little softer this time.
“I don’t know what I want,” I said, a little too bitchy.
“You said you would try.”
“I am trying! But when you say shit like ‘training me,’ it scares the fuck outta me! I’m not a dog, Luke. I’m a person and I refuse to be treated like anything less.”
Luke let out a deep breath, clearly exasperated, “Can you keep your mouth shut when I ask you to?”
“Yes.”
“Can you not flirt, associate, or throw yourself at other men?”
“Yes,” I said, a little more annoyed this time.
“Can you treat my MC family as if it was your family and show them love and respect and loyalty as if they were your own?”
I looked at him confused. “I thought I already did.”
His face softened completely and he smiled shaking his head, “Yeah, baby. You did.” Luke brought his hand to the side of my neck, pulling my head down so my forehead was touching his.
“Kiss me,” he whispered against my lips. I turned to put my knees on either side of his thighs, straddling his waist and put my hands on each side of his face. I took the moment to stare at his lips of perfection. Those lips had been on every part of my body. They had kissed my tears away, brought me joy and ecstasy, told me they loved me and brought me more pleasure in a single kiss, than I have had in a lifetime. Luke moved his tongue so that it slid across his bottom lip and I could wait no longer to taste him. The kiss was soft at first. Just a touch of my lips against his. When I ran my tongue along his bottom lip, just as he had, I heard him groan and me kissing him was over.
He grabbed my face between his hands, tilting my head so he had better access and forced my mouth open with his tongue. His kiss was hard and rough and I loved every second of it. I couldn’t get enough. I started to grind my hips against him and could feel his hardness through his jeans. I pulled away from him, breaking the kiss and slid myself between his legs, so that I was on my knees on the floor in front of him. I fumbled with his belt, trying impatiently to get it off. I looked up at Luke, expecting to see him smiling, but instead he had a different look in his eyes. Almost predatory. My panties went wet as he grabbed my hands and shook his head. He placed my hands on either side of his waist and began undoing that brown belt I loved so much. My insides were screaming, “Please spank me, please spank me.” I started to ask, then shut my mouth. Luke was a big guy, he might beat the shit out of me. And I would love it.
“What were you going to say, Dallas?” he asked me in that dark, raspy tone I loved so much.
“Nothing,” I replied, perhaps a little too quickly.
“Lie to me and I’ll use this belt for more than just holding my pants up.” Bingo. Like an idiot I bit my lip to suppress my smile, and of course, Luke read between the lines. His head turned slightly to the side as an amused expression claimed his face.
“You like that don’t you?” Again, I shook my head a little too hard giving myself away.
“I think you do. I think you would like nothing better than for me to bend your sweet little ass over this couch and spank you with my belt.”
Fuck. Me. I stared at him, my mouth partially open, my breathing loud and irregular and my pants had a wet spot between my legs. Luke leaned up, so that his elbows were on his knees and brought his face close to mine.
“I don’t give out spankings as rewards, babe. I give them out as punishments, and you won’t ask for them.”
I swallowed hard. At this point, I would have punched him in the nose for a punishment.
“Let’s practice you being a good ol’ lady. If you do good, I’ll let you come. If you don’t, I’ll spank you and make sure you don’t come for a week.” Yeah, that was highly unlikely. I was almost certain that as soon as he put that belt to my ass, I would flood the bed or couch or wherever in the hell we were.
“We will try the
first thing I mentioned. Keeping your mouth shut. You can’t say anything. Not a moan or a whimper or a word. Understood?” I nodded my head. Shit, this was gonna be fun. To obey or not to obey? Definitely not obeying.
“Here is the catch, Dallas. Before that mind of yours starts wondering what you are going to do to disobey me, remember that if you choose to accept this as a form of punishment that is exactly what it is going to be. No sex. No kissing. No cuddling. No orgasm. Just a whole lot of crying and discomfort.” Well, shit. That didn’t sound very fun. I just stared at him. What in the hell could you say to that? He took this spanking shit seriously. He leaned back and removed his belt, that was no longer that appealing to me, and unzipped his jeans. I was still on my knees in front of him, my hands at his waist, when his cell phone rang.
“Fuck,” Luke muttered rolling his eyes. “Yeah,” he snapped into the phone. “What?!” He was on his feet and I was out of his way. Luke was pissed. “I’m on my way.” Luke snapped his phone shut and I was on my feet walking to him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, thinking it must be pretty bad since he was pacing the floor and running his hand over his head like a mad man.
“FUCK!” he screamed at the ceiling, causing me to jump. “Stay inside. I’ll be back in a little while. Don’t go anywhere.” I wanted to ask where he was going, but he kissed me. A sweet kiss. The kind he gave me that made me feel cherished and loved. I was still slightly swaying, when he got in the car and left.
Chapter 3
Dallas
I had too much energy. The excitement of the day along with my interrupted sexual encounter with Luke, had my adrenaline pumping. Also, the longer I sat still, the more I worried about Luke. I popped in a thirty minute workout DVD and decided to see if that would calm me down a little. Thirty minutes later, I was hot, sweaty and still full of energy. I looked out at the reflection of the moon glistening on top of the water in the pool. What the hell? This might be my last chance to use it this year. My house is far enough out of the way, and secluded enough by trees that no one could see me unless they walked down my driveway. That was highly unlikely, so I stripped and dove in. The water felt like satin, gliding over my body. I swam laps until my adrenaline wore off, then climbed out and ran inside, searching for a towel and clothes. For some reason, I wasn’t scared. Maybe it was because I knew they had Frankie and he couldn’t get to me. I wasn’t sure, but it was nice to be in my home, after dark and not freak out every time I saw my shadow.
I pulled on a cotton robe, put my hair in a towel, and then started to text Luke to see where he was. Five missed calls? When had he called me? I immediately dialed his number and he answered on the first ring.
“Dallas?” he sounded upset.
“Yeah, baby. Sorry I didn’t hear my phone ring.” He put his hand over the speaker and I heard some mumbling in the back ground.
“What do you mean you didn’t hear your phone ring?” he asked me, clearly not upset. Just extremely fucking pissed. Uh-oh.
“I’m sorry Luke, damn. I was swimming.”
“Swimming?” he asked, in that way that you could tell he was hoping he heard me wrong.
“Yeah. Swimming. I did a work-out DVD and got hot so I decided to take a swim.” What the fuck was his problem?
“Dallas, I told you to stay inside. I’ll be home in a minute,” he said, as if he were speaking through his teeth. I tried to say something else, but he had already hung up.
Well, shit. I take one step forward and two backwards. I threw myself down on the couch and turned on the T.V.. If it was gonna be like this-Luke bossing me around and getting mad over petty shit-then maybe this wouldn’t work out.
I was still sulking when Luke opened the door and let himself in. I heard him throw his keys on the bar and my heart sped up at the thought of him so close, but I’d be damned before he knew it. He came and sat on the end of the couch, lifting my feet and setting them in his lap. He never looked at me, just watched the T.V. and began rubbing my feet. Damn, that felt good. It was hard to be mad at someone who came home and began massaging your feet.
“I’m sorry.” Shit. Did I just say that?
“Dallas, when I ask you to do something, it’s not because I like telling you what to do or that I like being in control. It’s because, it’s for your protection and safety. It seems you will have to learn the hard way, but you will learn, if you want this to work. The more I think about this, the madder I get. I’m going to bed.”
He got up off the couch, laying my feet gently back down then disappeared to the bedroom. Damn. Now I felt like shit. Why did he not want me outside? Probably because you were tied up in a barn a few days ago and that club still runs the streets and one of his brothers are missing, you idiot. Shit. I turned off the T.V. and with heavy feet, I forced myself into the bedroom.
I seriously needed a shower, but I was sure no hanky panky would be going on tonight anyway, so I laid down on the edge of the bed, testing the waters, still in my bathrobe.
“Are you gonna tell me what happened?” I asked, my back to Luke on the other side of the bed.
“Nope. I can’t trust you to do what I ask, so how do you expect me to trust you with that?” Fuck. Good point.
“Maybe if you would have told me what was going on, I wouldn’t have went outside,” I said, trying to defend myself. Wrong thing to do.
“Don’t you turn this shit around on me, Dallas. You do what you are told, when you are told. Nothing more and nothing less. I don’t have to tell you a fucking thing. You remember that. I am here because I love you and I care about you. Not because you’ve begged me or even asked me. I said I didn’t want to talk about it and I don’t.” Luke was getting madder by the minute, but I couldn’t keep my big fat mouth shut.
“Well, maybe I do want to talk about it,” I said, in a barely audible bitchy tone. The kind you use when you want to have the last word, but are scared of the results.
“Enough!” Luke yelled, causing me to jump.
Okay, okay. Shit. He could have the last word. Even I knew when to shut-up. No, I didn’t. I was a complete and utter idiot. You know when you can’t say anything so you just huff a lot? Loudly? Yeah, Luke didn’t like that either.
“Dallas, it would seriously be in your best interest to stop being a bitch and just go to sleep and let me calm down.”
“Excuse me?” I said, turning to look at him in the darkness. He was lying on his back with one arm over his eyes. I could see his chest rising and falling and I knew he was trying to control his temper. Well, fuck that. I knew I was a bitch, but he didn’t have to call me out on it. I propped up on one elbow and pointed my finger at him, “Don’t you ever talk…”
Luke moved like a Ninja. Before I could fully register what happened, he jumped off the bed and jerked me to him, gripping my arms tightly and bringing his face frighteningly close to mine. His eyes were cold and his voice came out as a low growl, “Do you think I enjoy this shit? I went out of my fucking mind when you didn’t answer me. I didn’t know what happened to you. He’s gone, Dallas. Frankie is gone. Some of his guys hit the club house and took him. You know how they got him? They held Red hostage.”
I felt my knees go weak. Not Red. God, please let her be okay.
“They grabbed her from a convenience store and threw her in the trunk of a car. Then they threatened to cut her heart out if we didn’t let him go. Now that motherfucker is walking the streets, one brother is in the hospital, one is missing and one is on lock down to keep him from killing someone. I have all that shit, plus two kidnappings under my belt, in less than a week, and you want to fuck with my patience? This is not your world, it’s mine. If you want to be a part of it, then you keep your mouth closed and do as I say, because I swear to God, Dallas, if you throw that attitude in my face one more time, I’m walking and you will never see me again.”
He let go of me and walked out. I stared at the bedroom door that he just walked out of with a feeling of emptiness inside me. What wa
s wrong with me? He needed me. My man needed me. This club needed me, and I was so caught up in my own selfishness that I refused to see what was happening in front of my face. Old memories blossomed in my mind and I was reminded of what it felt like to love, and care for someone. My situation with Frankie was a devastating, life altering event, but I would do it a thousand times over if I knew it would protect my friends. I scrambled for my phone beside the bed and found Red’s number.
“Hello,” Red said, sounding completely annoyed and not at all like she had just been kidnapped.
“Hey! It’s Dallas,” I wasn’t sure what to say. “Are you okay?” seemed like a very idiotic question.
“Hey, Dallas. Yes, I am fine. No, I am not hurt, and no, I don’t need to talk about it. But, if it makes you feel better, we will,” she said like we were talking about her experiencing an embarrassing moment instead of one that involved her being held in the trunk of a car against her will.
“Oh, uh okay. Well, if you need anything, I’m here,” I muttered into the phone, not sure how else to respond to that.
“Thanks hun, but I’m fine. I swear. It was a bunch of pussies that snagged me and I knew they wouldn’t cut my heart out with a spoon. They seemed pretty anxious to get rid of me. I was pissed.” Wow. “I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? Maybe we can lay out again.” That sounded wonderful, although I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to leave the house. “Sounds good. I’ll check with Luke and make sure that’s okay.” There was a long pause on the other end of the line.
“Who are you and what have you done with my Dallas?”
I smiled at her words. I knew she was only joking, but I could hear the approval in her voice. I needed to get off the phone. I was digging too deep into the whole “my Dallas” comment.
“I’ll call you tomorrow,” I said and disconnected.
I could feel eyes on me and I turned to see Luke standing in the doorway. His shirt was off and his hands were shoved deep into his jean pockets. I didn’t care if he made me crawl around on all fours and wear a ball gag, there was no way I was going to do anything that would jeopardize me seeing him every day of my life. I wasn’t sure where to go from here. I needed to apologize, but I wasn’t sure what for. If Luke would have told me the extent of the situation before he left, he would have scared me enough to keep me indoors. Instead, he just said, “stay inside.” I then realized that he didn’t tell me because he didn’t want to scare me. He knew if he told me what happened and then left, there was no telling what I would have done. The thought made me want to go to him, but I was not very good at rejection. What if he didn’t want me anymore? I mean, Luke could have any woman he wanted. One who wouldn’t bitch at him, or not do what he asked. If I wanted to keep Luke, I needed to change me-or not change me, but uncover the part of me that I knew still existed, but was buried deep inside.
