His request was unexpected, but not nearly so unexpected as her reaction to it was unwelcome. Her pulse started beating almost as rapidly as it had when she was a young girl acting silly over a handsome boy who’d paid attention to her.
“Why would you want me to have dinner with you?” she asked. “You just said you had no intention of giving up your career.”
“What has that got to do with dinner? We both have to eat.”
Now he was being a humanitarian. Somehow that didn’t appeal to her.
“You know I like being with you,” he said. “I tried all weekend to find some time for us to sneak away and misbehave in the moonlight, but either you had gone to bed or I got nabbed by somebody wanting to talk my ear off without listening to a word I had to say.”
Kathryn couldn’t keep up. Surely there was something she was missing. “But we don’t agree on anything.”
“Of course, we do. We agree that family’s important, that I have to get things straight with Cynthia. We also agree we like other, that we find each other attractive.”
She hadn’t been willing to state that out loud. It was even more uncomfortable to have Ron do it.
“Besides, I’ve been thinking about kissing you for three days. I can’t very well do it while I’m unloading suitcases and the girls are watching. It wouldn’t be the least bit romantic.”
“I wouldn’t have thought you were the romantic type.”
“Dreamers are always romantic, and I’ve been a dreamer since I was ten.”
“I thought you were a schemer.”
“How do you think I managed to make my dreams come true?”
“I need to talk to the girls, see how they feel about what happened over the weekend.”
“The girls are spending the night with their families. Cynthia is staying over with Leigh. You have nothing to do all evening but have dinner with me and see me off at the airport.”
“I didn’t know I was seeing you off at the airport.”
“That’ll give us plenty of time to kiss in the limousine.”
He had to be teasing her. “This may be your idea of a joke, but—”
“What do you mean?”
“This abrupt change, talking about kissing me.”
“No man in his right mind jokes about kissing a beautiful woman. Either he means what he says, or he’s a fool. I happen to find you extremely attractive. It’s been damned hard to keep my hands off you all weekend. Hell, I would give my right arm to crawl into bed with you right now, and I haven’t said that to any woman since Erin died.”
Kathryn was in a state of shock. She knew Ron liked her. She liked him, but she hadn’t taken her feelings seriously because she knew the barriers between them were too high, too strong.
At least that’s what she’d thought until now. She couldn’t believe she was reacting like this, but she couldn’t deny it any more than she could stop it. She was excited about kissing Ron Egan—his remark about misbehaving in the moonlight made that particularly easy to visualize—but it was his comment about getting into bed with her that had caused her limbs to tremble.
Or should she say shake with desire.
Surely this couldn’t be happening to her. She wasn’t a girl anymore. She wasn’t so inexperienced with men that the mere thought of physical intimacy caused her to become a quivering mass of nerves. Yet that’s exactly how she was feeling. And why should Ron be the one man to cause her to feel this kind of excitement? She had been prepared to dislike him from the moment she saw him. She had disliked him when he forced his way into her house. What had happened to cause her feelings to change so dramatically?
“I didn’t mean to offend you,” Ron said.
“Why did you think you had?”
“Your silence. That’s a weapon a lot of women use when a man has done something wrong.”
“I’m not silent because I’m offended. I’m silent because I wasn’t prepared for what you said. I had no idea your feelings were so strong.”
“You’re probably upset because I was so blunt.”
“No. I—”
“I know I’m too direct. I never learned how to say things to please a woman. I’ve spent most of my life studying men—business men—trying to take their minds apart, to know exactly how they think and why. I never did that with women. Erin and I understood each other from the start. After she died, I forgot what little I knew. Since then I haven’t been interested enough in any woman to learn how to please her. At least not the way I’m interested in pleasing you.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask what way was that. Fortunately, Ron continued.
“I never can think of romantic things to say. I just come right out and say what I want. And I want you.”
She didn’t think anything he could have said, no matter how romantically phrased, could have affected her any more strongly than that bald statement. There was no pretense, no attempt to disguise or blunt the power of his words. He had laid it right out there without any hesitation, without any equivocation.
“Have I frightened you?”
“No, but you have surprised me.”
“Why? I haven’t attempted to hide that I’m strongly attracted to you. I was that first night.”
“I haven’t been thinking about you like that.”
“Why not? Don’t you find me attractive?”
“You know I do. I’m sure every woman you’ve ever met has felt the same way.”
“I’m not interested in every woman. I’m interested in you.” He turned toward her for so long she had to stop herself from telling him to watch the road.
“I like you and find you attractive, but the purpose of our relationship is to find a way to bring you and your daughter back together.”
“That may have been true for two or three minutes. Probably not even that long.”
“Do you always make up your mind that quickly?”
“No. I’m usually extremely deliberate. I think through the situation from every possible angle, weigh all outcomes very carefully, then step back and start the process all over again.”
“What made it so different with me?”
He grinned, something he did too often for her comfort.
“There was nothing to weigh. You were the enemy. You disapproved of everything about me. So it was safe to be attracted to you.”
“Did anybody ever tell you that you’re a strange man? What man in his right mind would think like that?”
“It depends on what you consider a right mind. A pragmatist would say I was a fool and needed mental help.”
“So would I.”
“But a romantic—and remember all dreamers are romantics at heart—would feel Fate had intervened and shown him the one woman in the world who was destined to make him supremely happy.”
“Not even a romantic could be that harebrained. Besides, you’re not looking for some woman to make you supremely happy, at least not beyond a night or a weekend. You’re married to your work. You’re having trouble making room in your life for your daughter.”
“If I take a leave of absence from my career—your advice by the way—I’ll have all kinds of room.”
“You just said you wouldn’t give up your work.”
“I said I couldn’t give up my career. I said nothing about my work.”
“I don’t see the difference.”
“Have dinner with me and I’ll explain.”
Kathryn could give herself all the advice and warnings she wanted, but she knew she was going to have dinner with Ron. She knew she was going to see him off at the airport. And she knew she was going to lie awake half the night thinking about him. He’d already invaded her dreams, but his saying he wanted her had raised the stakes to a new level.
She wanted him.
She could hardly believe it. She couldn’t understand it. She could barely muster the will to admit it, but there was no question in her mind. She wanted Ron, too.
She had dated several attractive
and eligible men over the last twelve years. She’d even developed a relationship with two of them, but no one had ever had such a powerful effect on her. And for the life of her she couldn’t understand why. Ron was attractive, but he wasn’t stunning. He was manly and aggressive, but she wasn’t fond of aggressive males. He was rich and successful. That was practically a strike against him. He had screwed up his personal life in pursuit of success and recognition. In the past that would have removed him from consideration before he’d had a chance to ask her for a date.
So what was it about this man that had enabled him to leap all the barriers, avoid consequences of his actions, and render all handicaps ineffectual?
“You’re taking a long time to make up your mind.”
“I’m trying to decide where all this is going.”
“Where do you want it to go?”
“Nowhere. That’s why I don’t understand why I’m even considering having dinner with you.”
“And seeing me off at the airport.”
“Especially that. That’s what a wife does. Or a steady girlfriend. Or maybe even a mistress.”
“And you don’t want to be any one of those?”
“I didn’t know you were looking for one.”
“I wasn’t.”
“But you are now?”
“I don’t know. I just know I’m interested in looking.”
“I have no intention of being any man’s mistress. You’d better look somewhere else.”
“I like where I am.”
“Why?”
“That’s what I want to find out.”
“You can’t expect to find out over dinner.”
“It’s a beginning.”
“Dinner’s where you find out if you can stand to be around each other for four or five hours straight. We’ve already spent a weekend together.”
“We were only in the same place. We hardly saw each other.”
“Having dinner will add up to even fewer hours.”
“You’re right. We need a lot more time together. Why don’t you come to Geneva with me?”
Chapter Ten
Kathryn had completely lost her mind. There couldn’t be any other explanation for the fact she was about to board a private jet to spend the next thirty hours with a man she’d known just two weeks. There couldn’t possibly be any other reason for her risking the gossip that would be the inevitable result of such a junket. Or the damage to her peace of mind. She didn’t fool herself. She wasn’t going on this trip with Ron because she was curious about the way supermoguls worked. She was going because she had fallen for him. More important than that, she was going because she hoped something would come of it.
That’s the part that convinced her she was insane.
“Is this your private jet?” she asked.
“It belongs to the company, but I guess you could say it’s mine.”
It looked like the inside of an office or a conference room. There was a table with enough space for half a dozen people. There was a bar as well as deeply cushioned chairs that reclined for people who wanted to relax or take a nap. Televisions, computers, phones, just about every kind of machine you could need were placed around the interior.
“All you need is a kitchen and a bedroom, and you could live here instead of bother with a hotel.”
“I have both, but we don’t use the bedroom because it’s too inconvenient to commute from the airport.”
“We?” The kitchen didn’t surprise her. We in the same sentence with bedroom did.
“My assistants fly with me most of the time. It gives us time to make last-minute preparations. We usually eat at least one meal on the plane.”
Apparently no female companionship was wanted. She wondered if it was significant that he’d made an exception in her case. “How do you decide who cooks?”
“We have a chef.”
She knew that. She was just trying to make a joke. Her nerves were getting to her. She’d never done this before, but she was going to take it as far as it would go. She didn’t know why she thought anything could come of it, but something deep inside kept telling her she’d never find out if she didn’t try. And if life was a gamble, maybe this was part of the game.
“Do you want something to eat? Something to drink?”
“After that dinner? I won’t be hungry for a week.” He’d taken her to his private club for dinner. Everything had been prepared by his chef, wines chosen from his private cellar.
“Do you want to relax? Watch TV? Watch a movie? We’ve got dozens of tapes and DVDs. We can take off as soon as your luggage arrives.”
She’d called Ruby and asked her to pack a bag for her. She’d felt like a child talking to her mother, embarrassed about what she was doing, angry she was embarrassed. She was an adult and should be able to make her own decisions without feeling anyone had to approve them.
“You didn’t tell me what you would need,” Ruby had said, “so I packed something for every occasion.” She had packed three bags.
She had been too mortified to admit she’d probably need very little. Ron would be tied up with his meeting, so she’d spend most of the day by herself.
“You’re not sorry you came, are you?” Ron asked.
She smiled, hoping to mask her nervousness. “No, but I don’t know what to do without feeling in the way.”
“Do exactly what you want,” Ron said. “I’m going to be a terrible host because I have to work.”
“When are you going to sleep? We’re getting there just in time for the meeting.”
“I’ll sleep tomorrow, or the day after. You might want to go to bed early. It’s only eight o’clock here, but it’s two in the morning in Geneva. We’ll land in seven hours. It’ll be 3:00 a.m. here, nine o’clock there.”
Great. Not only was she acting crazy, she was going to be sleep deprived as well. No telling what she’d do and not even remember. A porter went by with her luggage.
“Let me show you the bedroom,” Ron said.
It wasn’t large, but what it lacked in size it made up for in elegance. “Did you design this?” she asked.
Ron smiled. It was a wicked kind of grin, the kind she was certain could have gotten him in all kinds of trouble had he been willing.
“The plane belonged to a movie star with a taste for luxury. I had the rest of it redone, but I didn’t change this room since I never use it.”
Kathryn loved it. It was beautiful.
“I’ll leave you to unpack.”
“Do you mind if I watch a movie while you work?” she asked. She wasn’t used to going to bed at eight o’clock. There was a TV in the bedroom, but she didn’t want to stay in the room.
“Maybe I’ll watch it with you.”
“Does that mean I have to watch some movie where the body count exceeds my age?”
He laughed. “I don’t know what you’ll find. The guys picked them out.”
“Surely at least one person who works for you is a beta male.”
“Only alphas allowed. We’re operating in a world of sharks, remember? It’s eat or be eaten.”
He laughed, but it was probably true. The competition must be even more fierce for him than it was for her father. “Do I dare ask if you have a decent book on this plane?”
“Not unless you like secret agents, espionage, or really bad guys. I think one of the guys likes Stephen King.”
“I’d be up all night.”
“I should have thought to ask the staff to send something else.”
She didn’t mind. It was pretty good proof her being invited on the plane was an exception. It would be foolish on her part to think Ron had been celibate since his wife’s death, but it was important to her that she wasn’t just another in a long line of women to satisfy his physical needs while he devoted most of his time to his career. She was taking a huge gamble, doing something completely unlike herself. She wanted to feel Ron was doing the same. This had to be extremely important to him, or she’d lost her
gamble already.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m sure I’ll find something.”
Ron surprised her by stepping up close, taking her in his arms and kissing her very thoroughly. “I’m glad you came,” he said, his voice husky. He stepped back just as abruptly. “Now I’d better leave you to unpack.”
He left the room and she sank down on the bed. She could see herself in a full-length mirror on the door to the bathroom. It was almost like looking at a stranger. Even her features seemed unfamiliar. What was wrong? Why didn’t she look or even feel like herself?
Fear.
She’d stepped out of her safe haven, opened herself up to a man who was practically everything she didn’t want in her life. She hadn’t merely allowed herself to become attracted to him, she wanted Ron more deeply than she’d ever wanted any man. What other reason could she have for such a desperate gamble?
Did she think by coming on this trip she could transform him into the kind of man she wanted?
No.
Did she think it would make any significant changes in what she looked for in a man?
No.
Was she hoping for a husband, or would she settle for something more temporary? She didn’t know. Everything had happened too fast. Her feelings had changed even when she was certain her feelings would never change. The chances she was willing to take had increased. Was she so desperate? Or so foolish?
She couldn’t decide. She only knew she wanted and needed Ron Egan. She didn’t yet know how she needed him. Maybe she would find the answer in Geneva.
The question was, would she be able to live with the answer?
Ron paused just outside the bedroom door, shook his head in bewilderment and told himself he was crazy. Why on earth had he asked Kathryn to go with him to Geneva? Moreover, why had she agreed? He felt the plane vibrate as the pilot warmed up the engines. They’d be in the air soon. Too late to change his mind, too late for Kathryn to change hers.
He headed toward the bar, took a bottle of cold spring water from the fridge, and took a swallow. Didn’t he have enough to worry about? His merger was going south, threatening to take a good bit of his business and professional reputation with it. He had very few hours to figure out how to keep the two government flunkies coming to the table, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Kathryn.
Family Merger Page 15
