Dylan came next, his knuckle was cut and swollen, and his face bruised. He observed me intensely. I was trying to concentrate on cleaning him up. However, he unnerved me. He didn’t say a word. He wasn’t watching what I was doing – he was watching me.
I was sitting far too close to him and could feel his breath on my neck, it gave me goose pimples and made my heart thump so loudly I wondered if Dylan could hear it. He smelt of sweat, mixed with a faint odour of his usual after-shave, Brut. I had a sudden urge to lick his throbbing neck. What was wrong with me? Why was this guy affecting me so badly? Did he enjoy playing havoc with my emotions? I finished up and moved away from him.
Paul had a huge lump on his head where one Viper had decided it looked like a football and kicked it. His hand was swollen, and I advised him to get it looked at. Then Steve, who came away with a banged-up shoulder, and a chipped tooth.
Once I’d seen to everyone, I brought some beers from the kitchen and handed then out. I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. I needed to know what happened.
“I hope the Vipers are worse off than you lot.”
“We beat the shit out of them,” Clay told me happily.
“Yeah, they took as much punishment as they could, then slithered away like the snakes they are.”
Paul and Steve high-fived, then both yelped in pain.
“I know it didn’t go the way you wanted. It just played out that way,” Marcus said.
I shrugged in response.
“Look on the bright side, you got the Vipers off your back,” Dylan said.
“Yeah, and you still get to fight Monica,” Clay reminded me.
“Hey, it’s cool,” I told them. “I couldn’t have planned it better myself.”
Sitting on Marcus’s lap, I kissed him fervently. “You ready for bed?”
Without waiting for an answer, I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the chair. “Night guys,” I cooed.
The others grinned as if to say enjoy yourself. Dylan wasn’t smiling.
We closed the door behind us. I doubted any of them would leave the house that night. We walked up the stairs and into the bedroom.
“You did good tonight, babe. You handled yourself well. You showed the Vipers what a tough chick you are. You sure you’ve never been in a gang before, you seem to know how things operate?”
“It just felt like the right thing to do. It came naturally. It didn’t seem like the first time for me, it was weird. Maybe it was meant to be.”
Marcus gave me insight into how the gangs worked and the rules of the streets. He explained that the terms of the fight were set out before a battle, weapons, etc. You couldn’t fight unless you’d stated what you were fighting for. That made sense to me. However, I don’t think Monica and her bitches played by the rules. He made the rules sound sacred, and I guess all the gangs must have felt the same way. I listened with a deep understanding and had a clear knowledge of how they expected me to behave from then on.
I felt good when I was with Marcus. He made me whole. For once in my life there didn’t seem anything missing. He gave me a reason to live. Marcus gave me love and more attention than anyone had given me before. He spent time with me, and the best thing about our relationship was that we had the same interests. We were learning new things about one another every day. It felt like we had been together for years. Everything fitted into place.
I’m sure he felt the same way, but he had yet to tell me. It wasn’t his style to display feelings. As I lay in bed, unable to sleep, my thoughts were on the future. There were only a few weeks left until the end of summer, but what would I do then? I couldn’t shake the thought from my head. I’d already told Mum I wasn’t going back to college, so I guess I’d already made up my mind. I would stay with Marcus if he wanted me. Still, I had to go home and get my stuff, sort things out with my folks. I still needed to sit down with Marcus and find out what he wanted, and that worried me. It was as if I had always been there. Of course, I would have loved it to stay like that, only it just wasn’t going to happen. Permanent arrangements need fixing. It was his decision to make.
The next few days stretched on endlessly. Dylan bought a new TV for the house. Max had an accident on his bike, and although he was okay, he totalled his Yamaha.
Marcus still hadn’t spoken to me about our future (surely it couldn’t go on like this?) Me, I had the big fight coming up in only a few hours.
The guys came around to give me moral support but made me feel more nervous. I needed to spend time on my own, get psyched up for the fight, only they were my brothers and trying their hardest to calm me down. There wasn’t one Tyrant I didn’t get on with. I loved them all. Apart from the small disagreement I’d had with Dylan, I’m sure they felt the same about me. They were the family I never had, showering me with love and friendship. Broken homes and bad childhoods weren’t the only things we had in common. We could relate to one another. I’d moan to them when I felt down, and laugh with them when I was on a high. Nobody judged me. I was no better, but certainly no worse than anyone else.
Tony told jokes, and Steve, Paul, and Ian turned up at the house drunk. The others were slowly getting there. Marcus joined in with the drinking and laughter. Okay, so I was no angel, I indulged too, but only to calm my nerves. It wouldn’t have looked good, turning up at my fight, drunk. What I needed was a joint, but Marcus didn’t approve of drugs, so I hadn’t had one in a long time. I must have smoked a full packet of cigarettes before I left the house that night. The best I could do was a nicotine rush. I could have easily got hold of some dope, but I didn’t want to risk Marcus finding out.
Thinking about that evening still makes me laugh. We were thirteen tough looking bikers, laughing and giggling at nothing in particular. It was hilarious.
The time finally came for us to leave, and boy was I ready. I had twelve wonderful friends behind me. I felt invincible. Nothing could touch me. Hell, she was in big trouble.
Monica arrived ten minutes late.
“About time you showed your ugly face,” I said.
I think she was uncomfortable with the Tyrants being there. Nevertheless, they had no intention of leaving.
I stepped up to her and took off my jacket. “Marcus, babe, do you mind keeping hold of the jacket you bought me?”
Marcus smirked, took the jacket, and swatted my arse before joining the others.
She looked irate. “You recovered quickly.”
“Yeah, it’s surprising how fast your body can heal when you put your mind to it,” I retorted.
As stated in the rules, before a fight could commence you had to spar with each other. I don’t know who made that rule, but it warmed you up for the clash. I started by calling her all the names I could think of. When I finished, she was so mad she took a swing at me. Her fist hit me square on the jaw.
“That’s the only time you’re gonna touch me, bitch,” I declared.
The gang cheered me on. “Go on, give it to her, Jade,” they shouted in unison.
She came at me again, fists flying. I ducked and thumped her in the stomach. She made the mistake of starting to fight like a girl. Grabbing a chunk of my hair, she pulled me closer. That pissed me off big time, and it wasn’t because of the pain. Monica disgusted me. That wasn’t fighting. Ignoring the pain, I threw myself at her. We landed heavily on the ground. I sat on her chest and pinned her arms under my knees, rendering her unable to move.
“There’s no one to help you this time,” I said.
I hit her face, punching as hard as I could. I couldn’t stop. I saw red. Full of hatred for what she had done to the Tyrants and me. I pictured the state of the living room, Joe lying on the stretcher, and myself on the ground, unable to move as she kicked me repeatedly. A dark side took over, and for a while, I wasn’t myself. It wasn’t until my hand started to ache that I became aware.
I looked down at Monica. Her face was a mess of blood and gore. It made me sick to think I had done that. Where had all that anger come
from?
“You give?” I panted.
She didn’t reply. Just laid there, staring at me, breathing noisily, through her broken nose.
“Go back to the gutter where you belong,” I said.
I scrambled off her and walked over to the Tyrants. My legs trembled. I felt as though I had no energy left. I had consumed my strength on her face and couldn’t even walk straight. I wobbled as though drunk.
Marcus shouted a warning. I turned in time to see a silver blade slice through my shirt. I felt nothing, though my vision blurred and I fell to the ground. Dylan ran over. I heard a bone crack, and Monica’s scream as Marcus snapped her arm back. I looked down and saw a lot of blood, but couldn’t register what had happened. Confused and scared, Dylan talked to me, yet his words made no sense. The world spun out of control, and everything went dark.
When I came to, I wasn’t lying on the couch. The white painted, empty walls, told me I was in hospital.
The room contained two beds, an empty one, and mine. I had a horrible notion that the last person in the bed just died. Morbid I know, but I hate hospitals. Everything flooded back to me like a slow-motion film, the fight and the stabbing. I felt alone and yearned for the Tyrants. I needed Marcus. Where was he?
I noticed a drip attached to my arm. I sat up to inspect my wound, pulling away the surgical padding from the left side of my ribs. I saw stitches, too many to count. It ached and throbbed, but I wasn’t in a lot of pain. I wondered if it would leave a scar. I gently put the dressing back in place and sat up slowly. Not long after, a nurse came in the room.
“Good morning, young lady, and how are you feeling? Not in too much pain I hope?” She had a warm chirpy tone. Her grey hair was pulled into a bun, and her face was clean of makeup.
“I’m okay.” I smiled and started to sit up. She took hold of my arm, and between us, I managed to scoot up in bed. She adjusted my pillows and wrapped my arm in the blood pressure cuff.
“Is my boyfriend outside? I’d like to see him,” I asked.
“Well, that depends on which one he is. There are quite a few men outside waiting to see you.” She smiled knowingly.
“Marcus is the good-looking one with short brown hair,” I told her.
“Personally, I think they’re all good-looking. But, I think I know who you’re talking about. He’s been pacing up and down and refuses to go home.”
We laughed together. It hurt.
“Yeah, that sounds like him.” I breathed.
“I’ll go and get him for you.”
I must have looked a right mess, so I did my best to tidy myself up. I tucked my hair behind my ears and pulled the sheet up to my chest before he came in.
“Hi, babe. How you doing? You okay?” He leaned over and kissed me.
Marcus looked a wreck, so haggard and tired. He had dark circles under his eyes, and as he hadn’t shaved for a while, he sported a sexy stubble. The rugged, outdoor look suited him.
“I’m doing okay,” I told him. “A bit sore. You must be getting fed up of seeing me like this,” I joked.
“Nah, I could spend the rest of my life looking after you.” He smiled.
I couldn’t tell if he was joking, or serious. There was a moment of silence, and then the nurse came back in and took the drip from my arm.
“I told you we’re taking care of her. Oh, he’s such a worrier, this one,” she teased, and then departed, leaving us alone again.
We held each other’s hands. No words were spoken as none were needed. We searched each other’s souls, trying to read what we were truly feeling. An intrusion spoiled the moment.
Clay opened the door. “Hey, babe, mind if I come in?”
He did, along with the others.
The bikers squashed together in the small room, making sure they could all fit. I felt loved; everyone seemed concerned about my well-being.
Hatch had a cute teddy bear tucked under his arm.
“Is that for me?” I asked.
“Oh.” He sounded disappointed and looked sheepishly at me. “I was getting attached to it.” He handed the bear over reluctantly, and we all laughed.
“He’s been dying to get rid of it,” Max whispered. “I might hang around with you for a while, there are some nice-looking nurses here.”
Trust Max, he had a one-track mind.
Full of wisecracks, everyone had something funny to say. All the same, the warm atmosphere disappeared when the nurse came in.
“I thought I told you one at a time,” she scolded. “Out! Everybody out now,” she ordered.
I scored a kiss on the cheek from the guys as they left. Marcus charmed the nurse into giving him five more minutes. His cute smile won her over.
“I have something to ask you,” he said.
“What is it?” I sensed it was serious.
“Okay...” He took a deep breath. “I’m not very good at this sort of thing.”
I squeezed his hand. “Go on,” I urged him.
“I love being with you...” He paused. “You’ve brought something special into my life, and I feel lucky to have you. I don’t wanna lose that. Look, I know the summer’s gonna be over soon, and I don’t know what you’d planned, but I want you to stay with me.” Then he took a box from his jacket, opened it up, and placed a silver ring on my finger. “It’s not a proposal or anything. I’m not ready for that type of commitment. I don’t think I’ll ever be.” He smiled. “I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me and how much you mean to the Tyrants.”
Tears trickled down my face. “I’ve been waiting for you to tell me how you felt. I love you, Marcus.”
I looked down at the ring. It was identical to one of Marcus’s. On closer inspection, I realised it wasn’t a peace symbol.
“It’s the Tyrant’s logo. Our tag,” Marcus said. “All the guys wear the ring. You’re the first female to get one.”
I felt so proud I thought I would burst. He wiped away my tears.
We were kissing when Dylan came in the room. Marcus had told him his plan, and he wanted to stay and congratulate me.
“I hope you’ll be happy here, Jade. I like having you around. You’re cool.”
Dylan couldn’t have given me a kinder compliment. All my fears and suspicions about how he felt about me flew out of the window. He seemed genuinely happy for us.
While I recuperated from my injury, I thought about the trip back home to my village. I had to settle things with my parents. I had to sit them both down and tell them my plans, hoping it would be the last I saw of them. I needed to pack up my belongings and say goodbye to my horrid past, once-and-for-all.
Marcus wanted to come along with me, but I talked him out of it. He wanted to see the cursed life I’d lived, and wanted to meet my mother. I had painted such a black picture of her I knew he wouldn’t be civil and I wanted to leave on good terms, despite everything. Even though she’d abused me, she was still my mother. I managed to convince Marcus to stay home and went alone.
What a nightmare! My first mistake was not having Marcus for moral support. Secondly, I’d chickened out and hadn’t told my dad I was coming. I thought I could cope with just seeing Mum, rather than both of them ganging up on me. Third mistake, I wore my leathers. I think she would have gone easier on me if I had dressed down. Except that wasn’t who I was anymore. I wasn’t ashamed of who I’d become. I was proud to be a member of the Tyrants. I wasn’t going to shout it from the rooftops. I didn’t come home to show off and give the villagers something else to gossip about. I wanted to get in and out without anyone seeing me.
Mum wasn’t home when I arrived, so I used my key and let myself in. The house smelt of stale cigarettes, and damp. No change there, I thought. I’d only been in the room for a few seconds and already wanted to leave. Memories flooded like a wave, trying to drown my good spirits. I didn’t want to remember the unhappiest moments of my childhood. Literally shaking myself from the past, I cursed aloud for putting up with her shit for so long.
&n
bsp; I expected her home soon, so I ran upstairs and started packing. I couldn’t take everything, just my treasured possessions. I’d been so busy, I didn’t realise how quickly the time passed. A door slammed shut, making me jump.
“Mum, it’s Jade. I’m up here.”
I didn’t want her to think I was a burglar. Maybe I should have phoned first.
Any loving mother would have run up the stairs and hugged her long-lost daughter, but not my mother. I timed her. It took her a full ten minutes before she came up. I heard the familiar tinkle of ice hitting the bottom of a glass, and the cabinet door being shut. Dutch courage, I wished I had some.
“Well, look what the cat’s dragged in. Decided to come home have you?”
Leaning against the doorframe, she held a glass in her right hand, a cigarette in her left. She looked a sight. Her hair needed cutting and dyeing, and I hate to think how long she’d been wearing the same clothes. She looked thin and haggard and had really let herself go. I turned away, unable to look at her in that state.
“I’ve come for a few things. I’m leaving, but is it okay if I stay the night?” I asked, pretending to be too busy to look at her.
She didn’t answer. Her stare burnt into my back, and I knew she was going to start.
I stopped packing and faced her. I wasn’t scared. I wasn’t a weak, timid little girl anymore.
“Go on, say it,” I challenged her. “Get it out of your system, Mum.”
“Have you seen yourself? Look at the state of you. You look like a cheap street tramp.”
I kept my cool. “You’re a fine one to talk, you’re a fucking mess.”
She stared at me open-mouthed before launching into her usual ‘how dare you…’ crap. “I’m your mother. I deserve more respect.”
I lost it then.
“You’re not fit to be a mother. You’ve no idea how to look after yourself, let alone a child. You should be giving me respect. Do you know who I am, Mum?” Although tempted to tell her everything, I decided to keep my mouth shut. “For the first time in my life, I’m happy, and I have a life, no thanks to you. I have a great boyfriend and loads of friends. So, if anyone deserves respect, it’s me.”
In Times of Violence Page 8
