by Hadley Quinn
“I understand exactly what you mean,” he agreed. “But that’s where you’re wrong. You didn’t have to end things with me in order for this to happen. Was it really one or the other for you?”
She sighed and looked at the ground. “Yes, I felt it was,” she answered softly. Looking up she added, “I couldn’t ask you to change your life for me.”
“Why not?”
Julia bit her lip in thought but she looked completely heartbroken. “Because that wasn’t fair.”
“Says who?”
“Would you really have considered it?” she practically demanded. “I mean really… What would you have said if I’d told you I was leaving New Jersey?”
“I don’t know; I didn’t get the chance.”
“Point taken,” she agreed.
“But at the same time… I know myself… And I think I might have withdrawn a little bit. I’m pretty sure you know that.”
She nodded in agreement, like it was totally obvious. “You have to figure things out on your own, Cole. If there’s anything I’ve learned about you, it’s that. No one can tell you anything, you like to know it for yourself. I wanted to see you so badly before I left but… I couldn’t. And yes, I’ll be honest and say that I was hoping it would slap you in the face. But it was because I so badly wanted you to realize for yourself what was at stake here.”
“You didn’t give me the chance,” he argued.
“Yes. I. Did.” Her lip quivered just slightly. “I left, didn’t I?”
Cole took a figurative step back as everything came together at once. Why were things so clear in hindsight? God, she’d taken a page straight out of his own book. Why didn’t he realize it at the time?
And it totally worked. It fucking worked and here he was after beating himself up with regret for the past two weeks, finally realizing that he couldn’t be without her.
“I thought you knew it was the right thing to do,” he answered quietly. “Here. Your degree. That’s why I thought you decided to leave. Because you realized it’s what you truly wanted.”
“Nope,” she shook her head.
Cole rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. “Where does this leave us, Jules? I’m here because I can’t be without you.”
“And?”
He paused. “And…I’m sorry I was such a bossy motherfucker. I will talk things out with you no matter what.”
“Because?”
Damn it, he wanted to battle wits with her right now but he also wanted to kiss her face off.
He stepped closer and gently held her face in his hands. “Because you know you missed me,” he replied facetiously.
She rolled her eyes, but he leaned forward to kiss her. Her soft lips had never escaped his memory and the past two weeks had been torturous without them. He pressed his mouth more firmly to hers and coaxed her lips open with his tongue.
And everything in that kiss–the humility, the passion, the respect and commitment—were what real relationships were built upon.
He held her tightly against him and placed his lips against her cheek. “Because I love you, Julia. I love you with everything I am and I want to be here with you.”
He allowed her to pause for as long as she did because he was just happy to have her in his arms again. But her silence was about to slay him any second now.
Then he realized she was crying as she nuzzled her face against his neck.
And when her arms wrapped around him tighter than ever, he didn’t need her to say a single word.
He was home.
EPILOGUE
Two months later…
Day to day, not much seems to change in your life. Then you look back at where you came from and realize everything has changed. How many people can actually say their life turned out exactly how they’d planned it?
I’d like to meet someone who believes that and question the hell out of ‘em until I prove them wrong.
Well, here I was, living in California again. John Colby Nicholson actually chased a female clear across the country and the world hadn’t come to an end. I’d actually told that lie to Dani a couple years ago when I was undercover.
Now it was the damn truth.
A week after my groveling for Julia to take me back, I headed for New Jersey to close up that chapter in my life. It’s not like I was leaving permanently, but there were more feelings involved with it than I thought there would be. And I even took the chicken shit route and didn’t even tell anyone until I was about to hop in my truck and make the twenty-five-hundred-mile trek to California. I knew I would miss some of my friends there, but my place was with Julia, wherever that would be, and I knew it without a doubt.
And here I was, without a single regret about my decision.
I looked in the mirror and straightened my tie. Yeah, I was in a damn suit and I felt like I was trapped on a plane again. I was beginning to think I needed some kind of anti-anxiety medication for situations like this; it was one day I really didn’t want to fuck up.
I was about to make a change in my life, one that I never really saw myself making before. Los Angeles had given me mixed feelings before, but now that I was here with Jules, it seemed like endless opportunities instead. My options were open at this point, starting with a chance to work on a case for the FBI or continue working for a law firm that Jack had referred me to. I would be able to manage both, but I really wasn’t set on overwhelming myself with cases right now. I wanted to enjoy my time with Julia and proceed with our lives one step at a time.
I looked at myself in the mirror again, staring at my face for a while. I knew I was happy here with her; it was the one thing I was sure of. Anything beyond that didn’t really matter to me.
“Oh my God,” a breathless voice said from behind.
Speaking of Jules…
“Hey, don’t laugh at me in a suit. I hate this damn thing.”
She practically gaped at me. “Laugh at you? Oh honey, you look so sexy I’m torn between continuing to drool over you in it or rip it right off of you.”
“I’m going for the second one,” I replied as I turned around to face her. “And shit, you’re not supposed to be here in- in that, are you?”
She looked down at the gorgeous strapless white dress she was wearing but shrugged. “I don’t really care about superstitions. There is nothing that would deter me from this day with you.”
I couldn’t argue with that. And I was glad that the decision to have a simple, low-key marriage ceremony right in the backyard of the house we’d bought had been her idea. I was willing to do whatever made her happy, but that had been her wish and I couldn’t have been more relieved.
Come on, I’m a very simple man. Don’t make things complicated.
“So?” she asked, coming closer to me. “You change your mind yet?”
“I still have that option?”
She slugged me in the chest but gripped my lapels and pulled me down to her lips. “Of course you do,” she replied in a low, threatening tone.
I smiled and then kissed her. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Besides, think of all the people that traveled here, just to be disappointed.”
Her face deadpanned. “Right. Wouldn’t want to disappoint anyone else. Screw the bride, huh? We’re worried about everyone else instead.”
“Damn straight I’m gonna screw the bride. Repeatedly. Starting right now.”
I dragged her into the bedroom and was about to throw her on the bed laughing, but a voice deterred me.
“No you will not,” Van told him. He looked at Julia and said, “Get your pretty self back to your room. I was sent to track down a runaway bride. Thought maybe you hitched a ride and left town so you wouldn’t have to marry this fool.”
“The only ride she’s getting is on my dick, so get out,” I complained, shoving him out the door.
“What are you guys doing!?” Dani’s face appeared behind her husband. “Julia, get your ass out of there! We need to get you properly wed first!”
&nbs
p; Jules acted like she was being dragged away to her death. “Yes, because premarital sex at this point would be frowned upon,” she groaned.
Dani left, but took Julia with her back to the master bedroom.
Van looked at me and shook his head. “You seriously can’t wait an hour? God, don’t you guys hump each other nonstop?”
“Pretty much,” I shrugged. “So what’s once more? And how’s it your business?”
“It’s not. I’ll just let her dad know that’s where we found her.”
That made me laugh out loud. Yeah, good old Doug. I can’t say the guy completely hates me still, but he might have softened just a tad bit once he figured out he wasn’t getting me out of his daughter’s life. We could have an amiable conversation now and then, but I might never be his ideal son-in-law.
“Well you do what you need to,” I replied, patting him on the shoulder. “I just want to marry this girl so she’s stuck with me for good. So let’s get this going. Is it time?” Van was eyeing me funny, so I asked, “What?”
He shrugged. “Nothing, man. Just thought I’d have to get you pumped for this, maybe play your intro song for you?”
Laughing, I shook my head. “Not the same thing, man.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely. But…that would be kinda cool, you know? A bit of throwdown music?”
Van nodded his head and chuckled. “For sure, man. Well I’m happy for you, Cole. Jules is absolutely amazing.”
“I agree. I’m a lucky guy.”
“Well this is as close as I’ll get to mushy, but she’s a lucky girl. Oh, and all your Cali friends are here. I’m a little intimidated, but whatever.”
I gave him a funny look. “Nah, they’re legit, regular people. I promise.”
“Hmm, okay. Well Mickey is here, and Jack and Maggie. Ahem, they came together,” he added with raised eyebrows. “And I think pretty much everybody else is here that’s supposed to be.” He clapped his hands together loudly. “Let’s do this!”
No argument from me. It had been nice having everyone in town for the weekend, but I was dying for some time alone with my girl.
I could give a recap of the evening, but it really wouldn’t consist of much from my point of view. There was food, drinks, decorations, people… But nothing more important than Julia and exchanging vows with her. I liked the small setting, but I’ll admit it was a bit nerve-wracking even with just close friends and family. I’d sound like a dick if I said I was glad it was over— Okay, I really am glad it’s over. But only for one reason.
You guessed it. I wanted to get out of the fucking suit and tie.
Thankfully Jules helped that happen when everyone was busy socializing after the cake cutting. She whisked me off to the bedroom to have her way with me. She wouldn’t let me take off her dress until we had more time, but no problem. Sat her ass right on the desk in the room and pulled her legs over my shoulders.
Quick and efficient, didn’t even mess up her hairstyle.
I was happy to just throw on a button-up shirt when we returned to the party, not giving a shit if anyone got suspicious about my change of attire or not.
When the night died down a bit and most of the guests left, I got a few minutes with Maggie before she was about to head out. I specifically asked about my parents’ case, knowing she had information on it.
“Oh, come on, Cole. It’s your wedding night,” she shook her head at me.
“Maggs, you said you had information that you’d tell me in person.”
She sighed and pulled me off to the side of the yard. For some reason, she was hesitant to talk.
“Maggie? What’s going on?”
She paused again but lowered her voice even more. “Honey, there’s someone here to see you.”
She motioned toward the fence to someone that I had not previously noticed.
It was my Aunt Karen. I hadn’t seen her in almost ten years.
“I thought she was living in Europe?”
“She does indeed live in Europe, but decided to come see you. Go speak with her, Cole.”
I had no idea why my aunt would show up to the tail end of my wedding reception and not let me know she was there. We’d never been close so I hadn’t even invited her to the wedding.
I approached her, standing in the shadow near the gate. It was like she didn’t even want to be seen and it was odd.
“Karen,” I greeted somewhat indifferently. “What’s going on?”
She was a fairly tall woman at five-foot-ten and hardly had the makings of a delicate, loving female. I couldn’t even remember being hugged by her, let along feeling any sort of affection from her. It was almost like how I remembered my mother, but was he just confusing the two?
“I heard you’ve been asking questions about your parents again,” she answered.
“Yeah, well, you’ve never answered much about them. Something feels off and I want to know what it is. I get the feeling you really do know. Am I right?”
She paused, but then nodded her head slightly. “Yes, I can give you information now. Cole, your parents—both of them—were C.I.A.”
I think I took the news pretty well. I had my beautiful wife to stare at across the yard, talking and laughing with Dani. She was the light of my life and could put joy in my heart instantly, even during times like this.
“Did someone kill them?” I asked. “And why?”
“I can’t actually answer that.”
I wanted to shake her because I was so frustrated. I felt so close to getting answers, I could almost taste it. Something significant was about to change and I didn’t care what it was. I just wanted to know the truth, whatever it was. “And why not? This will never leave this space between us.”
“What about Julia?”
I sighed. I never kept anything personal from Julia. “Yes, I would share with her. But if there is any shit hitting the fan because of this, you can completely deny it.”
“Well I would anyway, but that’s not the point. But if you’re ready for the truth, Cole, then let me just say this… The government needed them to disappear.”
I needed to find a seat. Taking a few steps toward an empty table, I grabbed a chair and sat down. Karen sat next to me but neither of us spoke for almost a minute.
Finally she asked, “Do I have to clarify?”
I mechanically shook my head no. She meant my parents were still alive. Whatever I was led to believe about their deaths had been a lie, a cover up. I had always felt that things were not as they seemed, but I wasn’t sure if I was ever prepared for this angle even though every possibility had already crossed my mind.
“Cole, I’m sorry this happened to you. But now you know.”
“Yeah, now I know,” I mumbled. “And you’re one of them, aren’t you,” I stated, finally realizing it for the first time. “C.I.A? Are you even related to my mother?”
She nodded. “Yes, I am. And we actually really are sisters. She and I started out together before she even met your father.” She remained quiet for a moment before she put her hand on my back. It felt awkward. “I know many families that are confused by the way this shit works sometimes. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not just anybody. I would have understood if someone had just told me.”
“You were young and it wasn’t an option.”
“They were my parents. Why would someone keep it from me?”
“Cole, listen to me. Your father wanted me to see you and give you that much. Beyond that, I’m not able to tell you anything more.”
I took a long time to choose my next words. There were so many things to wrap my head around.
I swallowed. “So if my parents are still alive… Where are they?”
Karen pursed her lips. “I’m sorry to inform you that your mother died on assignment in Prague last year. She was shot and killed.”
I didn’t feel any sort of emotion from that. It felt wrong, but I couldn’t help it. “And my father?”
She ever so slightly turned her head toward the neighbor’s house, so I followed her gaze to the upper level. There was a silhouette of a man sitting up on the deck, and although it was dark out, I saw him slowly stand.
My heart started pounding in my chest even more, and there was some kind of physical correlation going on with me just from seeing his shadow. It was the same feeling I always got when it felt like I was being watched. I’d been having that feeling off and on throughout my life.
He went inside and shut the sliding glass door behind him.
“My neighbors aren’t home this weekend,” I stated out loud. It was a stupid comment, but the only way I knew how to comprehend what the fuck was going on.
“I know. And he knows.”
I looked at Karen and then up at the neighbors’ second level. He was standing there in a window, just watching, and then he closed the curtains.
“He contacted me a month ago, Cole. After Maggie Tate started asking questions about him.”
I exhaled and rubbed my face with my hands.
“When he found out you were getting married, I knew he would come. I asked him to talk to you, to explain, to give you something… But he said he couldn’t yet.”
I got up from my seat and immediately left through the side gate. I had no idea what I was doing but I was acting on impulse, on emotion. It wasn’t smart, but I didn’t care.
I’d never been inside my neighbors’ house. Sure, we’d said hi now and then but nothing more. They were an older couple in their sixties who traveled a lot. They liked the fact that I was a private investigator and felt like Jules and I would keep on eye on their home.
Well, this asshole that they trusted so much just busted their side door to get inside. I immediately found the stairs and bolted up them, quickly finding the room that had been occupied only a minute before.
It was empty.
I searched the entire house, room to room, and found absolutely nothing. Every bit of it was dark, and every bit of its vacancy was haunting.
