I'm facing away from them in that sea of bliss, before I hear the bed creak.
“Seriously?” This is Alaric's voice. And without looking, I know exactly what's happening. Cael's preparing to leave. “You can't just run out. You initiated this.”
“Yeah, and I can leave this. You got your wish. You were fucked. Happy?”
“Stay. Please.”
There's no response. And when I hear the door shut, I let out a sigh, roll over, and face Alaric, who stares after the door with longing in his face. “I don't get him.”
It takes me a few seconds to form the sentence I want. “He's probably conflicted. Doesn't want to do this... but does. Who can blame him? This is... pretty good sex.”
Alaric barks out a laugh, the sadness in his features dissipating. “You could say that, yes.” He reaches out a hand to touch my cheek, before letting out a sigh. You know. Those forlorn sighs of deep longing. “I don't really understand what's happening. I thought... well, I don't know what I thought.”
Well. That's useful. “I don't know either,” I say, trying to sound like I understand him. “Guess former gay lovers work in mysterious ways.”
He snorts. “I promise not to run away this time.”
“Good,” I say, closing my eyes. “Because I could really do with some sleep.”
Chapter Seven
The mood is strange between us as the weeks unfold. I'm still obviously trapped, but the personal treatment from the servants of Frostgreen and Spiden make me feel like a pampered princess. Of which I'm apparently supposed to be. I'm bouncing more effectively between the clans since that incident where Alaric was attacked, and he's never gone without an escort again.
The biggest thing in all that's happening between us is the sexual deviations I'm going through. They're deeper, darker and more thrilling than anything I've ever experienced before. Though that's probably not saying much.
I wonder if it means I'm a twisted person inside. That I've always had these desires bubbling in the cauldron of thoughts and emotions. That going without sex for so long, and actually feeling the contact of skin against skin has deprived me to the point where I've become a monster.
I don't think it's something I have full control of. And I don't think I want control of it.
I have to admit, I'm starting to develop affection for Alaric and Cael, and I think of them less as my captors. But that could also be due to the fact that Melantha promised me that she knew someone who had access to a mobile phone. That later on tonight, I can finally contact home, and the desire puts me on edge.
“Been asking around,” Melantha had said, nudging me in the ribs when I came over for the first day of my weekly stay. “Cos you know, surely one of the girls was a techie, or managed to smuggle their phone in, since we got sockets through the caves. And it turns out, there is someone who runs a service. For a price, of course. Just as well we're married to royalty, right?”
“You better not be shitting me on this.”
“Nah,” Melantha had said. “It's real. I even got to see the phone myself.”
“What will you do? Will you report them? Get the police here?”
“Ah... that won't be happening.”
“What? Why not?”
“It's a condition of Roxy and Tarek. They let us use the phone, but they make sure we don't bring down the wrath of God on them. They protect their practises jealously.”
It doesn't make sense to me. Sooner or later in this modern age, they'll be discovered. Sooner or later, the wrath of God will fall down upon them.
No one can remain secretive and elusive forever, after all. No matter how much they want it.
Without telling my parents about being in a shifter's colony unwillingly, I'm not sure how I'd push through the conversation. Because they're going to ask why I didn't contact them so long, why I just vanished from the face of the earth. And I'll have to lie to them. And I don't think they'll believe me. It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, like ashes.
I'm not exactly a great liar either. But I know I have to contact them. They must know that I'm still alive.
Imagine having to explain that I'm a princess and I kind of like the people I'm a princess of.
Even though things are still complex between us.
Cael is still doing his bitter, angry act. He still aggressively pursues his agenda, dominating the both of us, setting odd but captivating ground rules. I've been forced to watch him roughly pound Alaric, who always acts thoroughly humiliated, yet begs for more. Cael seems to want to get out all his frustrations on his former lover for his betrayal and hurt, and he seems to love using me in the games as well.
I've gone along with the acts. Sometimes the mood strikes Cael randomly. He won't have sex with me unless Alaric is there, and Alaric is much the same.
I've been tied by rope, blindfolded, forced to give blowjobs until I'm gagging. I have red marks on my rear from where I've been hit, some of them starting to purple. The pain, unfortunately, only serves to turn me on more. It's not gratuitous pain. It's short, sharp jolts, usually on areas that can handle it, like my rear and my shoulder blades. There's welts along my neck, and sometimes I've merely been told to pleasure myself or focus on making someone else come.
In short, the sessions have become more regular and intense. And they always start with Cael initiating them, usually after some kind of verbal exchange.
The shame I go through is nothing compared to the paces I see Alaric go through. It makes me feel sorry for him, and to sometimes loathe Cael, though at the same time, it's Cael who makes everything so enticing, so fucking exhilarating. He boosts my sexual desires beyond anything I've ever tasted.
I'm so wet most of the time, thinking about what sadism we'll be subjected to next, how much we'll act like we hate it, when we absolutely crave the contact and slam of emotion and pain.
Alaric goes through things which puts my spanking to shame. The worst thing is, Alaric seems to think that everything that's happening to him is worth it. As long as he's able to connect with Cael again.
He'll do anything, be anything, be fucked every way imaginable, so long as Cael is speaking to him. I find that sad in a way.
It's abundantly clear to me that these two do love each other, but Cael needs to slow down, or he'll break Alaric. I don't think Alaric can endure this for much longer before it becomes too much. And I don't know how much I can endure.
I'm left patching Alaric up after sessions, and we become closer. We hold hands, we talk more freely. I learn a little of dragon shifter cultures, and their inherent need to collect shiny things and stockpile it, along with the whole woman kidnap thing.
I learn women are ranked in three different ways, and all of them are treated from marginal to great respect. We have handmaidens, the lowest denominator, who actually live pretty cosy lives as servants. We have damsels, which are the average dragon's mate. Then we have me as the princess, only reserved for members of the ruling family. Melantha is an odd duck in this case, since technically, a prince can't marry a prince, nor can a princess marry a woman either. Except, they don't really have concrete laws about it. It's generally just accepted as fact.
Yuna, because she can't get pregnant, wanted to fuck around with her family a bit by procuring Melantha. Melantha, who told me at the time that she only rode dick, seems to be a little more flexible nowadays. If I judge their relationship on the touchy-feely that seems to go on in front of me, anyway. Yuna and Melantha aren't exactly shy people about it either. I've caught them openly kissing and groping, to the point where I'm certain that if I hung out around them for long enough, I'd turn pretty fucking gay as well.
Best not to get lured into that trap. The other thing is, I hear less about escaping from Melantha. Before, she spoke openly about it with me, and we even tried to think of ways of doing it. Now, she seems comfortable with how things are, though she still misses her father.
It might be the air of this place, and the generally relaxed lives we lead.
Without the hectic rush of making rent every month, of working for loveless bosses and having to read up about how much our politicians are fucking up our countries, it's calm. It's wonderful, really.
But I also don't feel like I deserve it, or that I should like it on a level. When you're abducted, sold, and taken to a faraway land and removed from all aspects of your former life, it's supposed to be something horrific. You should rage and curse and fight for freedom.
I suppose it makes a difference if you're abducted to become the princess to a couple of royal shifters. And I guess it helps if they're attractive as well. Because we're vain and shallow creatures like that.
I no longer have to hide at Yuna's place when I go to Cael's home, at least. He doesn't avoid me the same way as before. In fact, he treats me in a quite civilized manner. He occasionally holds conversation, but he's not as talkative as Alaric.
Cael gets significantly crueller when he's face to face with Alaric. When Alaric isn't in the picture, he treats me with dignity and respect. He's ordered better furnishing for me to languish in and over, and he even takes me out for flights, and shows me off to his brothers, who can only stare enviously. He's taking good care of me.
Both princes are. Even with the depraved levels of sex Cael makes us go through, though I'm grateful to say it hasn't gotten to the kind of fetishes that make you shriek in horror, we've managed to all find our niche.
The sex, passionate and dark as it is, feels necessary on a level. I think Cael is venting his frustration and desire in this environment. He wants to punish Alaric, but at the same time, he wants to fuck him senseless, because he never let go of the fact that he once loved him.
Alaric, on the other hand, acts confident on the outside, but with one eye-blink from Cael, he goes running right up to him, tail wagging.
I want to scream at the both of them, really, for being such mule-minded idiots. All of us crave affection at the end. It cuts us up when we don't get it. And these two are clearly longing for one another, and expressing it differently.
I'm grateful for the treatment I receive from their families, themselves, and the servants. I'm grateful to be able to meet up with Melantha, Verity and Katie for our regular game sessions. Katie's managed to design some complex board game replicas that we play. I don't like the ones that take over thirty minutes to learn the rules. I prefer the ones where we can get started almost straight away and learn the tactics as we go along. I continue to eat better, more expensive foods than anything I've ever been able to afford. I'm treated like a princess, and have little for want, except when it comes to the deepest desires of my heart, which still elude me.
At least, until tonight. Part of me feels a little guilty Not enough to stop me going ahead with it, speaking behind their backs and potentially risking everything the kingdoms have built themselves up upon.
Because they can go fuck themselves if I find a chance to speak to my parents.
Don't get me wrong, I'm starting to like them. Even though they have some issues to solve with one another. But nothing's more important than this. At least, that's what I tell myself.
I'm just not sure what I'll say to my parents without incriminating everything here.
At the moment, I'm staying with Cael, though he needs to go out on some sort of royal errand at a point, which will leave me alone and free to do what I want. I would have made the excuse beforehand that I was planning a game session with Verity, Melantha and Katie. Cael trusts me enough to just go and do my own thing. He probably shouldn't, but it also could be because a part of him doesn't care if I escape or not.
There was one moment we had, during breakfast, which made me wonder if there's something more in Cael. More than just the one who brings us pleasure and pain during sex. More than someone who stares with coldness, causing the room temperature to drop whenever conversation starts becoming less superficial, digging instead under the surface.
He'd been wearing a kind of gold chain with tiny green stones on it around his neck that particular morning, when the frost had settled over the paths, making walking around a dangerous activity. I'd been cooking scrambled eggs that morning. I wanted to do something for myself, not having the servants bring me everything. When you have a lot of spare time on your hands, sometimes you just want to do things alone.
At some point, when Cael ate through my eggs – he prepped himself up to refuse, until I turned on my best puppy eye stare, he saw me observing the chain necklace with fascination.
He didn't flush, but he raised one hand to let his fingers work over the metal and gems, before saying, “Yes, it's what you're suspecting.”
Until that point, I hadn't been suspecting anything, but the words lit up knowledge in my brain. And of course, I like to look smart on occasion. “Why do you wear it?”
He does a half shrug, as if not certain about his thoughts. “I've always liked it. It doesn't mean anything. It's...”
“I think it does mean something. Because you weren't wearing it before. And here you are.”
His nose twitched, along with one side of his lip. I think he was tempted to rebuke me at that point, before calming down. “Perhaps. It was... too painful to look at before. But I suppose it's less painful now. I no longer feel that same thing inside when I wear it.”
He didn't say much more on the matter, but it did make me consider that he's taking steps to fixing things with Alaric. He's not said it out loud that he loves Alaric, though I see it brewing behind his mask. But he's less hostile than before. Alaric doesn't notice a different, evidenced by the way he sometimes speaks to me, saying he doesn't know at times why he puts himself through this, because Cael will never forgive him.
But I see.
There's change. The darkness has less of an edge to it, and there's more tender contact between us.
He's also comfortable with me staying in his chambers, though I admit I like spending at least a few days over at Yuna and Melantha's as well. It's nice to have the company of women, especially ones that came from the same world I did.
It makes me torn. Torn between the old and the new, like a Venn diagram in my mind where the happiness and sadness overlap.
Do I want to go back to civilization, if I get a chance? Do I want to be surrounded by technology, by a rapidly changing world and increasing tensions between nations? Last I checked, the east and western parts of the world were becoming increasingly hostile with one another. Threats of nuclear war, cyber war, nations tightening their belts, and the rich becoming richer.
I go back, and I'm a supermarket worker again, barely scraping together nine hundred dollars a month, unless I work flat out and forget my own health to hit higher totals. It's not a lot to live on, unless I become frugal, cutting out a lot of luxuries and borrowing money from my parents in harder months.
Is that what freedom will mean? I get to return, but I'll be thrown right back into that cycle, after living with my parents for a few months, searching for a job and trying to get my life back together?
It can't be compared with this life. I have freedom, a different kind. The only real stresses in my life is worrying about my parents, and getting irritated at Alaric and Cael for being too dumb to make things up with one another. Oh, and either one of them being assassinated by shifters who have a different idea of what should be happening. I might not be walking around in high heels and pretty dresses anymore, but I don't feel a particular need to. I miss them on a level, because it's nice to doll yourself up and feel the confidence you wear, and the effort you put into it. It's just effort that feels wasted here. I don't have a boss telling me to dress a certain way. I'm not single, hoping to attract a prince of my own.
I'm just... normal. And maybe this life will become boring without the trials and stresses of the human world. But so far, it feels as if I've been sprinting my whole life, and suddenly I realize that I can now walk around and appreciate things a little more.
A crazy idea hits me then. What if I could just get my parents to mov
e here? What a place to retire to, you know?
I know it's unlikely to happen. The dragons only want people who will contribute genetically, to help tackle their struggling numbers.
It's a nice idea all the same.
It's also one that I express to Melantha, half an hour before we're due to meet the couple who will let us use the phone. I'm sat with her in her private caves, which are conjoined with Yuna's. It seems Melantha enjoys doing things herself, and had requested for the servants to leave parts of her caves alone.
There's a nice, crumpled mess to it, like someone has lived in for a while and made it comfy.
“I know what you mean,” Melantha says, pursing those thick lips of hers. I get envious of them at times, since mine are thin in comparison. Not envious enough to want to switch, since there's some things about myself I like. “It's just so much more relaxed here. Be better for my da's health. He kills himself working what he does. And I reckon he work into his seventies, or until his back breaks. Seems mighty unfair, yunno.”
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