I giggled. “They have a way, these Fullerton men,” I said. We linked arms and I led her out to get the grand tour of the house. She was equally stunned by its opulence as I once had been.
“When Alex showed up on my doorstep, this is the last thing I would have expected,” she said as she marveled at the home and the grounds.
“Right?” I agreed. “Alex is a man of many surprises.”
She caught the fleeting look on my face. “And you love him.”
I squeezed her arm, relieved to finally share it with someone. “More than I ever dreamed was possible.”
She smiled. “You look happier than I’ve ever seen you,” she said. “But what about Drew?”
I sighed. “It’s a complication, obviously. But unlike that fiasco, this is real.” We stopped in the family room, where she took my hands in hers.
“You don’t do anything the easy way, do you?”
I had to laugh. “I guess not.”
She pulled me into a hug. It finally felt my life had come full circle. What Fate had stolen, it had surprisingly restored. And I was so happy to have Nancy there to witness it.
That night the kids took over the media room, where they proceeded to plot and plan every minute of the ten-day vacation. Greg challenged Alex to a game of pool, while Nancy, Millicent and I were on cooking duty to feed our brood. It was blissful chaos that ended on the terrace, where Alex played his guitar and Nancy and I sang country standards. Greg pulled Nancy into a spirited two-step. Jonathan shyly approached Becca to follow suit, and both Alex and I had to suppress our grins as the starry-eyed Becca followed Jonathan around like a puppy for the rest of the night. All the kids wanted to sleep over in the media room, which Millicent finally agreed to chaperone.
The rest of the adults retired to the family room for wine and conversation that lingered long into the night. Somewhere around two o’clock in the morning, my Texas friends ran out of gas and headed up to the guest bedroom on the second floor, just down the hall from my room.
This left Alex and me alone for the first time all day. I took a seat close to him on the sectional. I didn’t know how to say thank you for the awesome gift he had given me, especially when I probably hadn’t deserved it after what had happened with Drew. So I took his hand in mine. “You are amazing,” I said softly. “I don’t deserve you.”
His hand closed over mine as he pulled me close into a tight hug. “Oh, baby. You deserve all this and more,” he said as he grazed his lips across my forehead. “I overheard your conversation with Jonathan the other night. I made the dumbass mistake to confront Drew, and he just filled my head with all sorts of doubts that didn’t belong there. I came back to put the brakes on everything, just to save my stupid male pride.” He hugged me tighter. “Then I heard you talk about your life with Zach, and I realized that you’ve already been through so much, and I’m a dick to put you through any more. I’m so sorry.”
“Me, too,” I said softly as I tightened my hold on him. “But future reference, you don’t have to freeze me out. You can tell me anything, too… even if it’s goodbye.”
His hand cupped my face. “I could never say goodbye to you, Rachel.” His eyes drifted to my mouth. “Let’s go to bed.”
My eyes widened. “But the kids…?”
“Are suitably distracted,” he said with a sexy smirk as he pulled me from the sofa and led me toward the stairs.
“And the reason behind your diabolical plan is revealed,” I giggled as I raced up the steps behind him.
“Clever, huh?” he winked as he swung me up into his arms when we hit the top floor landing.
“Brilliant,” I said breathlessly as I traced his face with my hand. He kissed me at last and I melted in his arms. Within six paces we were locked within the privacy of his bedroom, where clothes were discarded and love was renewed.
Chapter Fourteen
I wanted to stay in bed with him forever, but I sneaked out just before dawn, to catch a few Z’s in my own bed before the crowded house awoke, which thankfully happened around ten o’clock, since we all had kept such late hours the night before.
We all ended up eating brunch around noon, where the children quickly filled us in on all the things they wanted to do, which was more than enough to fill a month, much less a week and a half. As we tried to organize everything, it became clear that Jonathan would miss much of it due to his time with his folks. He managed to convince Elise, with a little help from Alex, to stay on an extra couple of days, but it was his day visit with Drew that promised to be the most problematic. I was stunned when Drew relented easily, which made me wonder exactly what had Alex revealed to him when they had their confrontation. Alex was decidedly close-lipped about it, and we really didn’t get much chance to discuss it. Our landlocked friends wanted to see the ocean, so we piled into two cars and headed to the beach.
Friday was earmarked Disneyland, which was an all-day affair traveling between the two parks. Apparently it really was a magical kingdom. Jonathan and Becca were holding hands by the time the fireworks exploded overhead. He had wooed her in true Fullerton fashion, buying her special gifts as a reminder of their time in California. He didn’t leave out the rest of the kids, but it warmed my heart that he gravitated to the one girl others might have dismissed. While Melissa had already discovered how much she loved makeup and music and boys, Becca was the shyer bookworm. She wore glasses, her hair was long and straight, and most of her appeal came from her intelligence and humor. It touched me that Jonathan was far more attracted to that kind of girl. The Beccas of the world, and the Rachels, needed men who could appreciate our finer, more understated qualities.
Saturday we enjoyed some downtime, hanging mostly at the pool. I had to laugh as Alex morphed back into a ten-year-old himself, doing cannonballs with the kids. Nancy stayed on the side with me, unwilling to jump in and have her share of fun when she knew how traumatic the experience was for me. I encouraged her to participate anyway. These weren’t her hang-ups.
No one was happier than I was that Max was all too willing to get back in the water. Millicent stayed close as she monitored him, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief that there were plenty of adults around to ensure my favorite kids’ safety. I could watch the fun safely from the sidelines.
Alex swam over to the side of the pool near the chaise chair in which I lounged. “Aren’t you lonely over there?” he asked softly.
I held up my book. “Never lonely, never bored.”
He smiled. “I guess it’s just me, then.” He reached out a hand but I shook my head.
“I can’t.”
“You did,” he pointed out. “Come on, Rachel. You’re not alone this time.”
I glanced over at Jonathan, who swam nearby. He nodded.
I sighed. It wasn’t fair to use my student against me, especially with this. But if I ever wanted to show Jonathan that any obstacle could be overcome, I could hardly sit idly on the sidelines, the only one who wasn’t in on the fun.
“I don’t have a suit,” I offered lamely.
Alex’s hand never faltered. “I happen to know the guy who owns the pool. He’s pretty chill on the rules.”
“Alex,” I tried again, but his eyes were sure as he sent me a strong silent message of encouragement with those amazing eyes. His hand never wavered.
With an unsteady sigh, I rose to my feet. My legs shook all the way over to the edge where he waited. I was so scared I could hardly breathe. I sat on the edge and put my legs in the water. The water wasn’t deep there, I would never sit or walk anywhere near the deep end, and theoretically I could slip right into the pool from this very spot and stand merely waist deep in the water.
But I already knew it didn’t take much depth to take a life. My throat closed up as I squeezed my eyes shut. “I’m afraid,” I whispered.
He put his hands on my legs. “No, Rachel. You’re fearless. I’ve seen it time and again.”
My eyes opened and met his steady gaze. Without another
word he put his hands around my waist and guided me into the water. As I felt it creep up around my body, I felt my control slip. All I could think about was Jason, and what his last harrowing minutes must have been like. “Alex,” I breathed as panic overtook me.
“It’s okay,” he said softly. “I’ve got you.”
My fingers wrapped around his strong biceps in a white-knuckle grip as he guided me away from the wall. I could barely breathe, so I focused instead on his eyes as he led us toward the center of the pool. I felt my body go buoyant, which caused me to panic even more, but he pulled me into the strong circle of his arms as he swam us toward the deeper end.
“I’m not ready,” I squeaked as I held him tighter.
“If not now, when?” he said gently. “This is all in your head, sweetheart. I know you have it in you to beat this thing.”
“You don’t know what it’s like,” I said tearfully.
“Who do you think pulled you out of the water?” he reminded. “I almost lost two people that day. And I’m never going to do that again.” My eyes searched his face as he went on. “What if there are other days, and other children,” his voice dropped, “other babies?”
My breath caught in my throat. What was he saying?
More importantly, what was he offering?
“Take a deep breath,” he instructed softly. “And believe.”
I obeyed, and together we went underwater. I felt panic grip me, but I kept my eyes on Alex until we disappeared underneath the surface. When we resurfaced, he wore a proud smile on his face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sobbed gently into his shoulder. “That’s my girl,” he said gently as we drifted together in the bobbing waves.
Jonathan was tearful, too, as he swam over to us. Alex transferred me to my young student, who quickly became my most patient teacher as he refreshed my memory on how to swim. It took several hours, but they were both so patient as they took turns with me. By that afternoon I was able to get in and swim on my own, something I had been incapable of doing for four solid years. I was still panicky, but I had taken that first crucial step.
Again, Alex knew exactly what I needed.
We were all still poolside when Drew Fullerton descended on our family gathering like a dark cloud. Yoda made a beeline for Jonathan, who squealed with delight as he realized what his father had done. I wrapped a towel around me as I got out of the pool, and Alex glared at Drew from where he floated in the deep end.
“Looks like a party,” Drew offered casually as he approached, wearing jeans and a casual Oxford shirt.
“Dad!” Jonathan exclaimed as he shot out of the water like a bullet.
Drew was all smiles. “Hey, champ. Looks like you’ve made some new friends.”
“Let me introduce you!” Jonathan said as he dragged his dad by the arm. “These are Rachel’s friends from Texas.”
“Ah, yes,” Drew said as he walked over to the chaise lounge chairs where Nancy was catching some sun. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Ditto,” she offered as they shook hands. “This is my husband, Greg, and our brood.”
“Lively bunch!” Drew laughed.
Jonathan pulled a very reluctant Becca over to meet his dad. “This is Becca. She’s my girlfriend,” he introduced proudly.
I was ready to open up a Texas-sized can of whoop ass if he had anything to say about Jonathan’s choice of girl. Becca hadn’t grown out of the baby fat stage, so her cheeks were full and she was pleasantly round, something I knew he derided.
But Drew knelt to greet her at eye level with his most charming smile. “It is especially nice to meet you, Becca.”
Alex pulled himself out of the pool and reached for a towel before approaching his brother. “What brings you by?” he asked pointedly, keeping his snark at a minimum in front of our guests.
“Today is the day I usually visit with Jonathan, so I had some free time. I thought I would bring Yoda over. Rachel and I spoke at length about it the last time she was at the house, and she felt that maybe this was a better environment for the dog. Figured this would save her another trip to my house.”
I glared at him for dropping innuendo about something so innocent. However Alex was surprisingly unaffected by this ironic twist of fate, with Drew doing the goading for a change. “Fine by me,” he said. “I’m sure he’ll thrive here,” he added, letting the comparison of how Jonathan and I had both thrived here hang unspoken between them.
“All this fresh air and room to run; how could he not?” Drew shot back.
“We’re camping out tonight,” Jonathan inserted. “Up on the hill, just like you used to.”
Drew smiled down at his son. “I’m jealous. I had a lot of fun up on that hill.”
Jonathan turned to Alex. “Can Dad stay and camp with us, Alex?”
Alex studied Drew’s face. He knew it was yet another game, but he could hardly refuse Jonathan’s hopeful suggestion. After all, Jonathan was Drew’s son. And this would be a chance for him to see his father in another light, one that had long ago been snuffed out by Malcolm Fullerton. Alex turned to me and I gave a slight shrug. It was his call.
“Who am I to say no?” Alex shrugged. “It is your family home, too, after all.”
Jonathan jumped up and down from his excitement. “We were going to swim a bit longer, and then head to the campsite around dusk. Do you have swim trunks, Dad?”
“I always have swim trunks,” he grinned at his son.
“Training for Iron Man?” Alex asked.
“Of course,” Drew responded. “A man can’t control anything if he can’t control his own body.”
He didn’t look at me, but I suspected that last shot was for me. I went over to where Nancy lay tummy down on the chair, to spread more lotion onto her back. I heard her sharp intake of breath as Drew unzipped his jeans and slid them down to reveal his snug swim trunks. “Sweet Lord have mercy,” she breathed, before squealing from the dollop of cold sunscreen I plopped on her back to cool her off.
We watched as he dove into the pool, and then challenged the kids to a rousing game of Marco Polo. Nancy rested her head on her hands. “Well, I can certainly see why that was so hard to refuse. And forget.”
“Not helping,” I gritted between clenched teeth. “Especially since he’s going to be with us all night.”
“What?” she said as she glanced over her shoulder. “Are you crazy?”
“How could I stop him? This is his family home and Jonathan is his son. He has more right to be here than I do.” I glanced back at the pool, where Drew was dunking a deliriously happy Jonathan into the water. “Besides. Look at them. It is what Jonathan needs.”
“Yeah, but what about what you need?”
I looked over at Alex, who had likewise gotten back into the water. He raised Becca up on his shoulders so she could splash her sisters, both of whom took turns riding on their own father’s shoulders. They were having the time of their lives, completely oblivious to any underlying tension, thanks to his dedication to make it so. “I have everything I need,” I assured her. “I stared down my phobia about water today, I can do anything.”
“You’re playing with fire, Rachel. I saw your face when Drew walked up. You’re not over him yet. Not by a long shot.”
“I love Alex,” I corrected.
“You can love two people at the same time,” she argued.
I just laughed. “You watch too many soap operas, Nancy.”
She turned over onto her side. “I just don’t want to see you hurt anymore, hon. And honestly, I don’t see how you can avoid it. If you stay with Alex, Drew will make damn sure you never forget he’s around. If you choose Drew, you’ll crush Alex. And if you choose neither, then you’ll devastate yourself, and both the kids.”
I sighed heavily. “I know.” It was the dirty little secret I had been harboring since I first started to fall for Alex. I had loved them both in two very different ways, and there were no right answers. As long as I vaulted between
them, it was like trying to snatch a diamond from the mouth of a cobra. “Things will be better once he marries Olivia. He might always try to tug at me because he can’t stand the idea that Alex has won, but Drew doesn’t love me. Eventually he’ll get bored and move on.”
“What if he doesn’t?”
“Then you can visit me at the loony bin. Aim for Tuesdays, I hear that’s macaroni and cheese day.”
Nancy shook her head as she laughed. “If I thought it would do any good at all, I’d drag you back home to Texas with me. But you were right. Now that I’ve met them, I can see why you’d stay. They need you as much as you need them.”
“The heart is a masochist,” I agreed.
Nancy took my hand in hers. “I know Fate has been a bitch to you, but in the end she only gives us what we can handle. These things come to you because you’re strong enough to withstand them, pure and simple. And your strength is what they need more than anything.”
I squeezed her hand. I was so glad she was there to help me through what promised to be a very odd, very disconcerting evening. We all headed into the house to dry off and change, before we corralled everyone to the campsite. Everyone pitched in carrying our gear up the hill, even Drew, whose strong arms lifted more than his fair share on his broad shoulders. He seemed to match his brother stride for stride without complaint. They were quiet as they walked up that familiar hill, and I knew both of them were reliving a slice of their past, one that was much simpler and less contentious. Jonathan played Alex’s harmonica as we marched along, and he kept Becca’s hand in his. She was never far from his side. It was a case of puppy love that all the adults, even Drew, found amusing.
The cuisine wasn’t fancy, good old hot dogs and s’mores, but Drew had nary a complaint as he offered to help. He charmed Millicent almost completely out of her knickers with his devastating smile and his good humor, but I didn’t trust a bit of it. This was just another part he played.
And the bastard played it very, very well.
Entangled: Book 2 of the Fullerton Family Saga Page 15
