Call Me Ana: A Novel

by Bonnet,Scarlet

  He looked back up at me, his finger frozen against the eject button. “I wasn’t mad at you.” The way he said it confirmed that he did stay away on purpose. I waited for him to continue as he watched me. Something softened in his expression. He looked back at the tape recorder. “I was jealous,” he finally said.

  The thought of him being jealous over Roy struck me funny. “Jealous, huh?”

  His eyes didn’t leave the tape recorder, and he didn’t smile. “Yeah.” He was also admitting there was something between us, and I felt a flutter of surprise. His finger slowly depressed the eject button and the tape popped up. The click filled the whole room. My cheeks flushed again and all traces of my smile left my face at the thought of him looking at what I’d been listening to. He glanced up at me and I saw a twinkle in his eye. He carefully tugged the tape out with two fingers and studied it. “The Black Stallion?”

  I raised my eyebrows, waiting for his assessment, trying to play it cool.

  “So you do like horses.”

  I sat up a little straighter as I watched his face. I remembered him telling me about his parents raising horses, whereas the only ones I’d seen were under a police officer or strapped to buggies in Central Park. I had seen a few off in the distance in a field. “I don’t’ know. They’re pretty.”

  He smiled at my answer, but he was looking down at the tape in his hands, turning it in circles with the smallest of movements. “Have you ever been riding?”

  “No.” I wondered where he was going with this.

  “Want to go?”

  “You mean… right now?”

  “Yeah,” he said, holding the cassette tape in front of his face like it was a fascinating invention. “With me,” he added for emphasis, his voice low. He turned the gears in the tape, watching them move.

  He was asking me out on a date. The strong, quiet man with the soft gray eyes and broad shoulders was asking me out. I felt my heart beat faster and my mouth go dry. “Okay,” I said, my voice soft, my smile shy.

  His eyes finally found mine and a smile warmed his face all the way up to his eyes. It did nothing to slow my blood.

  “Okay,” he replied.

  We looked at each other for a beat too long, something registering. Grant broke the spell first, picking up the plastic box and popping it open to put the cassette tape away. “I read this as a kid.”

  “Yeah?” I asked as I worked my hair from the sloppy bun back into a neater ponytail.

  Grant’s warm eyes looked over my hair as he shut the case. “Yep. It’s a classic.”

  At least he didn’t think I was totally lame. Maybe he was just being nice, but I appreciated that too. I watched him stand up and put the box back on the shelf. I stood, grabbing my bag. He held out an arm. The gesture made me crinkle my nose at him, but I took it. I liked his arms, I decided. The one I held onto was solid, his skin warm under my hand. He let me go down the creaky staircase first. Then he took his place at my side again. This time I tucked my hand in his arm without the invitation. I felt Grant’s eyes on me, but I kept mine lowered. I wasn’t exactly sure why I was doing this. It didn’t seem like something good could come of it. He would be leaving eventually, I reminded myself again. So maybe that’s why this was okay. I could have some fun, right?

  Miss Viola frowned as we walked by. I said goodbye to her and she ignored me. I hoped she wouldn’t say anything about Grant, but I had a feeling I didn’t have much to worry about. She didn’t seem to have a heck of a lot of friends. That’s the price for being on top. It’s lonely.

  We got out to the parking lot and before I could grab the handle of his truck, he opened the door for me, making my cheeks warm. We weren’t ten minutes into the day, and I was already blushing for the third or fourth time. “Thanks,” I said, giving him a smile.

  He answered with one of his own, his eyes shining. “You’re welcome.”

  I slid into the truck, liking that we had a small ritual. He shut the door as I got adjusted. I looked over the inside of the truck, seeing things differently in the light of day. It looked a lot busier than Roy or Becky’s car with a host of unfamiliar knobs. Grant slipped in next to me, turned the truck on and then sat doing something with his phone. I finally found the button for the radio and turned it on. Country music filled the truck and I struggled to change the channel, but finally managed it, feeling like I probably should have just left it alone so I didn’t look like such a klutz. Grant’s mouth tugged upward.

  “What are you doing?” I asked him in a soft voice, feeling out of place.

  “Looking for a place to go riding.” He must’ve had a phone like Becky’s. She could do things like that on her phone. “Could you navigate?” he asked, turning to hand the phone to me.

  Horror. That’s probably how I would describe the cool breeze that chilled my bones. “I have no idea how to work those things,” I confessed, staring at the phone but not touching it.

  He chuckled, but I could see the uncertainty in his eyes. I wondered what he was thinking. “Yeah, by the time you figure out one thing, they come out with something new.” He leaned in, and I could smell his aftershave again. “All you do is this,” he said, showing me something on the screen in front of him. I could see him manipulating the image with his fingers. It looked like a map. Maps had street names I couldn’t read. He patiently continued, “You can zoom in or out, and click right here to go back to the directions.”

  I stared at him, so completely terrified, I couldn’t come up with anything to get myself out of this. I experienced a brief moment of insanity where I considered telling him.

  Grant’s eyes found mine. He sat and looked at me for too long and I could feel my face reddening. “You want me to do it?”

  “Sure,” I answered automatically, trying to play off how uncomfortable I was. I knew he sensed it, I just didn’t know if he was wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I looked out the window as he messed around with his phone before setting off. I wished I could’ve helped him. Now there was this weird tension between us that I didn’t know how to get rid of.

  “All right, here we go,” Grant said, his voice light as the truck backed up. That made me feel a little better. He seemed like he was going to let that whole debacle slip by. Either that or he was trying to make the best of the situation.

  “Usually when I’m traveling,” he started, his voice back to its usual depth and warmth.

  I turned, already feeling a hopeful smile coming on.

  “I can’t rent a truck like this.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because when I get home, my truck smells them on me. He won’t talk to me for weeks.”

  My nose scrunched up as I laughed at him. His goofiness had surprised me. I leaned back against my seat, enjoying the fact that he was from Texas and had a truck, but I decided to go with a different angle. “Sounds like he’s jealous,” I pointed out, watching how he’d take it.

  Comprehension dawned on his features immediately. “Well he is,” he said, his voice low, joining in on my game. “You can’t blame him for not wanting to share me though. I am pretty likable after all.”

  I looked out over the hood of the truck, thinking over his words. “So what do you tell him to get him to start talking to you again?”

  He thought for a moment. “Most times he comes around on his own. Other times…” he hesitated for just a second, “I have to tell him how devilishly handsome he is and remind him that he’s my favorite.”

  His words made me laugh again and I saw him smile though he wasn’t looking at me. I realized then that he was genuinely uneasy about Roy. I felt a pang of regret. I didn’t want him to think I was being flippant with his feelings.

  “Grant,” I said, trying his name on, talking through my shyness with a soft voice.

  He sobered some and his grip on the steering wheel tightened just a little.

  Wait. Is he nervous? The thought was so absurd… him being nervous around me…

  “Yeah?”


  The slight tension in his voice not only confirmed it, but it made me want to ease his. I tried to figure out what to say and how to say it. I wasn’t sure if I should tell him the whole story about Roy, or be vague. If I told him we were never together, would he even buy it? Or would it sound like something he wanted to hear? Or would he want more information? I finally decided on vagueness. Something told me that Grant should know as little as possible about Roy.

  “I’m not with Roy.” When he didn’t say anything, I began to worry that I’d really hurt his feelings, so before I could think it through, I added, “And I think you’re devilishly handsome.”

  Grant turned to me, his dimples out in full force, eyes sparkling. “Oh yeah?”

  I was certain I was smiling like an idiot, my cheeks burning. “Yes.” I slowly pressed my hands to my cheeks as if that could somehow help. “I can’t believe I just said that out loud.”

  Grant laughed, making every bit of me go warm. “Me neither. But I’m glad you did.” I could feel his eyes on me. “You blush a lot.”

  I snorted a laugh at his candor. “That is so helpful.” I could already feel the reddening go deeper as it began to creep down my neck.

  Grant laughed at me again.

  I sighed and let my hands fall to my lap, abandoning whatever I had been doing to try to hide my blush or push it back into me. I wasn’t sure. That’s when Grant took my hand. My heart jumped. I was surprised that he’d be so sweet and forward. I folded my hand in his, resting my thumb against his fingers. We drove along like that. It felt good, having his hand pressed over mine. I wondered how I’d only just met this man with the kind eyes, and now I felt like I knew him. Or at least I knew enough of him to know that I really liked it when he held my hand.

  “Whoops. Hold on a second.”

  The truck did a U-turn at breakneck speed.

  “Holy shit,” I said before I could stop it.

  When the truck righted, Grant looked at me with a grin, a bit of wild in his eyes I hadn’t seen there before. “Sorry. I’m a bit rougher with the rentals.”

  Feeling a little giddy from his energy, I grinned back at him. “That’s all right.”

  He pulled into a parking lot of a grocery store. What were we doing at a grocery store?

  “Snacks for the horses,” Grant said, answering my thoughts.

  “Oh.”

  We got out of the truck and walked toward the store. We were already a good distance away from town and I felt liberated to do as I pleased, so I took Grant’s hand in mine. He looked back at me, the smile that came from a pleasant surprise easing over his handsome face. I smiled back. The revelation that we both wanted each other’s company, both wanted the warmth of each other’s skin on our own, gave me a bit of a high. I walked into the grocery store, feeling light and happy.

  We meandered through the produce section, Grant tugging me closer to him. Our arms were both exposed and where they overlapped, he warmed me up against the breeze that blew off the vegetables. I realized then that I didn’t feel that crawling sensation over my skin that I normally felt when people got too close to me, especially men. The thought hit me so hard, I nearly stopped walking. Grant noticed me pause and looked down at me.

  Before he could ask me about it, I asked, “So do you have a horse of your own, or do you just ride your parents’ horses?”

  I could feel Grant’s eyes on me for just a second, but then he turned back to the apples, letting go of my hand so that he could fill a bag. I helped him.

  “My dad still has my horse from when I was a kid.”

  “Really?” My eyebrows rose. “How long do they live?”

  A grin came over his face. “Are you saying I’m old?”

  I laughed and looked over his face and shoulders. Lord, I sure liked those shoulders. Feeling more confident after all the hand holding and the whole devilishly handsome thing, I answered, “You look just right to me.”

  His grin broadened to include a dimple. He tied off our bag of apples and picked up my hand again. “To answer your question, they usually live into their twenties. Sometimes thirties or forties. Mine is twenty-nine.” He looked at me until I returned his gaze. “Four years older than me.”

  He was waiting for my assessment and I bit my lip to keep from smiling. I didn’t understand it, but I liked it that he was nervous about what I thought of him, though he was doing a good job of hiding it. And I could tell he was waiting for me to tell him how old I was. He was so polite, not outright asking. Unfortunately, that was another lie I’d have to tell him. That thought dimmed some of my playfulness, but I didn’t let it show. I raised an eyebrow at him and smiled, letting him know that I knew he wanted more information out of me. Then I cleared my throat. “So do they like sugar cubes?”

  Grant sighed at me as he grabbed a bag of carrots. It almost made me laugh. He smiled then, obviously happy that I was enjoying myself.

  “Like the black stallion?”

  “Yeah,” I answered.

  “Surprisingly, not so much. At least ours don’t seem to. They like peppermint candies though. And it makes their breath smell better.”

  I snorted a laugh. “Are you messing with me?”

  “I wouldn’t do that,” he said in a low voice, trying to make his eyes accusing over his up-turned lips. He was still hung up on the age thing.

  “Mm hm,” I said, not convinced. I thought about that crazy streak I’d seen him when he pulled that U-turn. “I bet you wouldn’t.”

  Grant led me back away from the vegetables to the candy aisle. He stopped in front of the peppermint candies and looked at me. I narrowed my eyes at him. He chuckled and grabbed a bag, tucking it under his arm. I liked seeing this new side of him.

  “Let me carry something,” I said as we walked back toward the front of the store, holding out my free hand.

  His eyes went soft. “I’ve got it.”

  “Come on, Mr. Chivalrous, give me the apples. That way you can hold the peppermints in case you’re screwing with me.”

  He laughed and finally handed me the apples. I reached across him to take it, my heart doing a little dip when my arm brushed his tummy. Our eyes met and we smiled at each other. Grant was the first to look away.

  “You’re not going to tell me how old you are, are you?”

  I pulled my lip in between my teeth, but ended up smirking anyway. I was enjoying teasing him, but at the same time, I was putting off lying to him. I tried not to think about that part and focused on the teasing. “Isn’t the saying something like, ‘a lady never tells?’”

  He sighed at me again and I felt victorious. “Well, I’m not about to question you being a lady,” he said with his warm, rich voice.

  The way that had come out, it was like he was telling me I was beautiful and delicate. The second part of that would have normally made me annoyed, but it didn’t with him. On the contrary, I was happy he noticed. I had a reputation for holding my own, thanks to my sassy fights with Pam, and I enjoyed that reputation and protected it, but when I had attention from men, they were usually overly aggressive because they assumed that’s what I wanted. And I didn’t. Not in the slightest. With Grant it felt like… he could appreciate my ability to stand on my own two feet, but he could still acknowledge that I was a woman. A lady. He made me feel like one.

  We stood in silence as the cashier checked out the food. Grant paid and I felt a touch of uneasiness sink in. He’d already paid for dinner last night. But he had come looking for me. He’d suggested this. I tried to let that feeling go. It pushed right out of my mind when he took my hand again on the way out the door. I swung our hands a bit as we headed back to the truck. Grant looked over at me and his eyes moved over my hair as he pulled me in close to him again. He wanted to kiss me. I could tell by the angle of his jaw and the light in his eyes. I lowered my eyes, feeling my heart skip a beat. In a flash I wondered how that might go, a million scenarios trying to run through my head all at once. We got to the truck, and he opened the doo
r for me.

  My eyes met his, making all my thoughts stop. “Thanks again.”

  “You’re welcome again.” He was picking up my thoughts just by looking into my eyes, and I turned away to climb up into the truck. He shut the door behind me and I watched in the rearview mirror as he tied the top of the plastic bag tightly shut, his large fingers working the flimsy plastic, and then set it in the bed of the truck. He came around his side and slid in next to me.

  He was about to start the truck, but then he looked over at me. “You’re not like… seventeen or something?”

  I laughed from my gut. I’d completely forgotten about the whole age thing. Not wanting to leave him feeling so tortured, I finally answered him, “I’m twenty-two… well… almost twenty-three.” In reality, I had turned twenty back in February. I’d lied about my age when I first came to Rayburne to get a job at the diner. Grant and I were five years apart, not two. I wondered how he’d take that if he knew the truth.

  He smiled and started up the truck. “When’s your birthday?”

  I swallowed and hoped I could keep the discomfort off my face. I hated lying to him. It was harder today than it had been last night. “April second.”

  “Well, that’s in two weeks,” he said, pleasantly surprised.

  “It is,” I said, keeping my eyes lowered. “When’s yours?”

  “November twenty-eighth.”

  “Thanksgiving baby, huh?”

  He smiled. “Yeah.”

  I stored that in my brain, then wondered at myself. He was leaving. He’d be gone. In that second, I decided I didn’t care. This was going beyond fun. I wanted to know as much about this man as I could before he left me.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked.

  I looked over at him, taking in those soft, gray eyes. I didn’t feel shy or nervous at all. I took his hand. We were completely comfortable with each other in that moment. I flicked a finger down his palm to tickle his hand. “Did you really think I was seventeen?”

  He snorted a laugh, the light in his eyes telling me he enjoyed the tickle. “You could pass for it.”