by Jamie Knight
“Wow, so you really do understand.”
“I mean, I can empathize. On a much smaller scale.”
“Everyone has their struggles, I guess,” she said, gently and subtly lacing her fingers through mine.
All too soon, we were parted as official matters took hold, including speeches, Darcy giving the one for Maggie and Noel giving the first one for Gavin, and then the rest of the assembled MacBride brothers all had our say.
I’d known I would be giving a speech, but every time I’d tried to write something, it had ended up sounding flat. In the end, I decided it would probably be better to just wing it.
“Well, Gav, you did it,” I said, after clearing my throat. “You finally followed in Da’s footsteps and married above yourself.”
The room filled with titters, especially from the other MacBrides, and a happy shade of blushing colored Maggie’s cheeks.
“It hasn’t been an easy go, brother, and I think we can all agree that Roddy Doyle can send us our royalty checks any feckin’ time now.”
That got a good bit of laughter from the MacBride contingent, in their emerald-green-accented tuxes, looking like tall, fancy leprechauns, and gentle confusion from the American in-laws.
“But that’s the thing about us MacBrides,” I continued. “We can be shite magnets, make no mistake, and yet we always seem to be able to land on our feet. Way to stick that landing, Gav.”
With a cheeky wink, I raised my glass to a flurry of clinks on crystal wine flutes with silver forks. It was one of many American traditions I’d never really understood. But, I figured, when in Rome…
Or, at least, When in L.A….
At the end, Gavin pulled me into a bear hug.
“Nice speech, bro.” He laughed. “A bit close to the bone but true enough. You made Maggie sound wonderful, so thanks for that.”
“Meant every word of it, about her and you,” I said, patting his back. “She’s a great woman, Gav. You’re a lucky man.”
He released me and stepped back.
“You meant that bit about me marrying up?”
“Yes, but not in a bad way. I know we got shite from the inverted snobs, but you know as well as I do that mum was the best part of our childhoods.”
“No argument there, baby brother.”
“That’s what I meant. Maggie is great, and your kids are going to be really lucky to have two amazing parents such as yourselves.”
“Aw, shut it,” he said playfully, giving me a light punch on the shoulder.
It was just Gavin’s way of dealing with emotions he didn’t know quite how to process verbally.
“You have the world at your feet now. You really have come far,” I said, undaunted, “and we are all really proud of you.”
“Even Da?”
“That’s a harder one, but I think so, in his own way.”
“How’s he doin’?”
“Pretty good. But I fear that given half the chance, he’d walk out of the sober facility and go to the pub or a back alley looking for heroin. I’ve got my fingers crossed there won’t be another relapse.”
“Hey, let’s not be so maudlin,” he insisted, as I shook my head in agreement. “It’s a happy day.”
“It sure is. And I’m glad to be here celebrating it with you.”
We went to the bar to freshen our drinks. It was there that the rest of the MacBride pack found us.
“Did you see those bridesmaids and the maid of honor?” Noel asked, casting a look over his shoulder. “Yowza!”
“I take it you don’t mean Ciara,” Gavin said with a laugh.
“No, of course not. She’s like our sister. I mean the serious-looking one and the li’l cutie with the big tits.”
My fingers curled into a fist.
I was seconds away from punching his nose.
“Nicole and Darcy,” Gavin said. “Forget it, bro. Nicole is taken, and Darcy is too good for the likes of you.”
“Like Ma was too good for Da?”
“Even more so,” Gavin said firmly, putting an end to it. “I don’t want any of you hooligans messing with Maggie’s friends. Or I’ll have to show you what’s what.”
He raised a menacing fist, but he had a smirk on his face.
We knew he would never hurt us, but we also knew better than to question him. Aside from our parents and Patrick, Gavin’s word was law.
“I wish Da was here to see this important family milestone,” Eoin said.
“With all this booze about? Dream on, little one,” Patrick said, always one to cut through the bullshit.
“I have to agree with you, Pat,” Gavin said, “I mean, I love the old bastard and have forgiven him, mostly anyway, but the risks were just too high, for Maggie’s sake as well as mine. I couldn’t risk having him screw up our special day. He sent us a card, which is all I wanted and honestly more than I expected.”
“They’re right, you know, Eoin,” I said, taking the more diplomatic approach. “It’s best not to risk the drama. Gavin and Maggie deserve a peaceful wedding day.”
“Aye, I just worry about Da’s ability to stay sober without one of us there,” Eoin protested. “I’ve been thinking maybe I should leave college to keep an eye on him.”
“It’s not your responsibility, Eoin,” I said firmly.
This was something all of us had had to learn the hard way, and hopefully now it was Eoin’s turn, as hard as the lesson was.
“He’s supposed to be the parent, not the other way around, aye?” I continued. “You have to live your life and not babysit him.”
“I guess,” he mumbled half-heartedly.
“Guess nothin’,” I said, ruffling his hair, even though he hated it.
It was neat and pristine thanks to the styling gel he had caked into it earlier this morning.
“Hey, careful,” Eoin objected, trying to smooth his hair back down.
“Let’s go get ye a drink, aye?” I suggested.
“Okay,” he agreed.
I had to sneak him drinks since he wasn’t of age. But in Ireland, he had been drinking for years now, so it was a ridiculous rule we tried not to follow here. And after a beer, he was back to his smiling self.
So, after getting my baby brother into better spirits, I went to find Darcy amongst the throng.
“Care to dance?” I asked when I found her.
“I thought you’d never ask,” she said, throwing her arms around me.
“Okay, but you have to lead.”
I had never been very good at dancing, outside some of the more traditional Irish kinds. Our mother had tried to teach me, but I never picked it up as well as my brothers had.
As luck would have it, Darcy was amazing and had no issue leading me through things, making me look pretty good out on the dance floor. The wonderful, free feeling was almost enough to make me forget about the bad news I’d gotten the night before.
“I have something to tell you,” I said, as we sat down for a breather.
“Okay,” Darcy said, sounding worried.
“That call I got last night. It was my business partner, letting me know that he had eaten contaminated meat from our shop. He has severe food poisoning. I have to return to Belfast sooner than I hoped, to help run things since he can’t. Tonight actually, right after the reception, is when I have to go. I was hoping to spend a lot more time with you, but I’ll get back here as soon as I can.”
Her pretty face fell into a disappointed look. I wished I could do something to make her happy, but instead, I was causing her to be sad.
“Oh. I too had hoped…”
I would have taken it as a joke in almost any other situation, but Darcy looked so sad I had to take it seriously.
“I promise I will get back here as soon as I can.” I took her hand in mine. “I’m not playing around here. I really like you, probably more than I should, and I’m pissed that work has gotten in the way.”
“Me too,” she confessed.
“I’m going to kiss
you, Darcy. I can’t wait any longer.”
Her eyes lit up.
“Me neither.”
We came together naturally, the kiss as wonderful as I could have imagined. And I had imagined it plenty.
I held her close, feeling her soft warmth against me as Darcy stroked my face, our tongues tenderly caressing and exploring each other.
It was just my luck, really, meeting such a sexy woman on my first trip to America, only to have to leave her. I was determined to keep my promise and come back to her as soon as I could.
Chapter Four - Darcy
The haze of the morning after hung in my head like a mist. I hadn’t had much to drink at the reception and was still recovering from the bachelorette party. To my shame, the alcohol only flowed after Sean had left. I had needed some way to dull the pain and it hadn’t been my finest hour.
The banshee in a box shrieked on the nightstand by my bed, alerting me to the new day. It was still the weekend, so at least I didn’t have work to worry about. I would have preferred to wake up next to Sean, both of us exhausted in the aftermath, disheveled and maybe a bit sore, but blissfully satisfied. Sadly, though, that wasn’t an option.
Food was not a happy thought, my belly still in a low-key rebellion. I settled for some toast and coffee, satisfied with meeting the minimum requirements. Given a choice, I’d prefer not to have to eat at all, or at least to have one of those little pills that had the equivalent of a full meal compressed into a single swallow, like they showed in sci-fi shows.
My food issues could still be lingering trauma from being shown off like an accessory at my father’s dinner parties when I was younger. Even the sight of a place setting still filled me with a low but persistent dread. I was usually able to push it down, but it was always there, nonetheless.
My phone chimed as I downed the last few swallows of coffee. It was a reminder to help Maggie pack for her honeymoon. She was to have a whole week in Ireland with her new husband and she wanted enough options in the way of clothing to cover any weather scenario. That was a two-person job if there ever was one.
At one o’clock, I made my way over to the penthouse apartment where she and Gavin now lived in married bliss.
The half-empty suitcase lay open on the bed, neatly rolled clothes filling it strategically like a life-sized game of Tetris. It was a bit of a job getting everything Darcy would need for a week into one suitcase, but she liked to pack light. It caused fewer headaches at the airport, which she didn’t like at the best of times.
She always said that in her mind, airports were a lot like hospitals, dreadful to visit but regrettably necessary in given situations. Hence her campaign to get the state legislators to extend the rail service.
Alas, there were no trains to Ireland. It was either a plane or a boat. And since Gavin suffered from seasickness, a plane was the only option.
“Have you decided if you’ll be staying with the MacBrides?” I asked.
“We’ve decided to stay at a hotel,” she said. “He wants to show me a few houses while we’re there. I think he still wants to go back. Not immediately, of course, since his career is going really well here, but he wants to have the option. Goodness knows when, but he seems sure it will happen one day.”
“Will you go with him when he does?”
“Hell yeah. His film career is mostly keeping us here, but he’s getting to the stage where he can live where he wants, and the work will follow. He can fly to wherever he’s filming. I’ll go wherever he does. That doesn’t sound too submissive, does it?”
I grinned.
“A bit subby, but not too bad. It mostly sounds like you are really devoted to the man you loved enough to marry. Enough so that you would be willing to give up part of your happiness for him. There’s nothing wrong with that. Particularly if he would do the same for you. Then it’s just reciprocity, which is a good thing.”
“You know I think I would like it, too. It was actually my idea to go to Belfast, partly because I thought he would like to, but also because it’s beautiful. It would be a great place to raise kids.”
“Kids, huh? You have something to tell me?”
She laughed out loud.
“Not yet, but maybe after the honeymoon.”
“The MacBride genes are strong, so I’m sure the baby will look like Gavin’s side of the family. All of the brothers are very handsome.”
“You’ve got that right. Especially Gavin and Patrick. I’m just glad there wasn’t any confusion at the reception or after. That could have been really embarrassing.” She slapped a hand against her mouth and giggled. “Please don’t tell him I said that.”
“Of course not. Besides, confusion wasn’t likely to happen. Gavin was wearing the nicer suit,” I pointed out.
“True, and he also talks a bit softer, something I only figured out after the side-by-side comparison.”
“Are you nervous about seeing his dad again? I wish you could meet their mom. She sounds like she was a saint. Sean told me a few things about growing up in Belfast.
Gavin and Sean’s past wasn’t really my business, and I didn’t want to be speaking out of turn, but I was curious. I hardly knew anything about the situation except that Sean still seemed a bit bitter.
“Yeah, I noticed you two getting all snuggly, exchanging meaningful looks and all that. I could have lit a candle with the fire between you,” she teased me. “Did he go deep into his family history and past with you?”
“Only conversationally. He did kiss me, though.”
“Minx.”
Maggie winked.
“Only when provoked,” I said and laughed. “He didn’t tell me directly about his past. I picked some things up and overheard him talking to his brothers. Gavin seems to be okay with things now, but I’m not so sure about Sean. I think he’s worried about Eoin.”
“There are things not even I will be able to understand about the dynamics of their family. There’s so much trauma and hurt lingering beneath the surface. Gavin has worked through a lot of his issues thanks to therapy. I’m glad he finally went, even though he was very reluctant to at first. It ended up being great for him.” Maggie sighed. “But enough about that. How was the kiss?”
Goosebumps raced up and down my body at the thought of Sean’s lips on mine.
“Amazing, but then he had to rush home. There was some kind of emergency at work. He seems like at least a little bit of a workaholic.”
“Takes one to know one,” she said teasingly. “We were sad he had to leave.”
I definitely wished we had had more time together. It was typical that I’d meet my perfect man at a wedding, only to find out that he was already married to his career. A real karmic kick if ever there was one.
Maybe the universe was trying to tell me something. Something my friends had tried to convey for years. They were forever nagging me about slowing down and finding a work/ life balance.
I did have other interests outside of work, such as going to conferences like Comic-Con and making costumes, but lately, that had all fallen to the wayside. I should really find other pursuits to put my energy into. After all, I was only a number in the big machine, and numbers could be replaced.
Sex wasn’t a likely hobby to pursue. Sean was the first guy I’d been truly attracted to in years, and, apart from my desire for him, I wasn’t built for one-night stands.
Something happened to me when I had sex. I had heard it happened to some other people too, but I still felt weird about it. I tended to get emotionally attached to my partner once we’d had sex, to the point that it really hurt when they left unceremoniously.
That was what had happened my first time and it had put me off to the whole idea for a while. I’d gotten it into my head that ‘pump and dump’ was how most guys saw things, and I didn’t want to risk that kind of heartache again.
The second guy hung around for a while, and when he left, it was because his job transferred him to Australia. It helped a lot knowing that he hadn’t
dumped me and moved on to someone else. But I still worried about getting too close to anyone again.
In a weird inversion of my worst fears, Sean and I hadn’t even had sex before he had had to leave, although it didn’t make it hurt any less. It was just a different kind of hurt, one that was in some ways worse than getting fucked and left with no real promise of a future to start with.
I could see myself having babies with Sean. If only the fates hadn’t decided to play games.
Despite the intensely satisfying masturbation session he’d inspired the other night, which had been as close as I had gotten to intimacy with him, I was afraid to even touch myself in case it reminded me of Sean.
I needed something else other than work to occupy my mind. Maybe it was a good time to learn a new language.
“Do you know anything about Irish?” I asked Maggie, randomly now.
“I hope so. I’m married to one now.”
“No, no, I mean the Irish language.”
“Gaelic? Oh, sure, I’ve got a whole course, including some audiobooks. I wanted to impress Gavin, who’s been speaking it most of his life. They teach it in school there, now at least. But I think it’s mostly regarded as a dead language, which is such a shame. I read an article saying that by the end of the century, it’ll be extinct. Why do you ask?”
“I’ve been thinking about learning,” I said sheepishly.
Her eyebrows lifted in surprise.
“Oh, Wow. I can loan you the course if you like.”
“Thanks,” I said, feeling the warmth rise in my cheeks. “I’ll think about it some more.”
I could tell she had refrained from saying, “You must really like Sean!” because she knew it would embarrass me.
I really couldn’t get much past her. It was like she was able to look into my very soul and see my true intentions as clearly as if I’d sent them in an email. I guess that was the side-effect of being best friends. There were times I also wondered if she might not have a bit of supernatural intuition herself.
