It would be waiting for her, one way or another.
For three days that was her mantra. Mei Li worked, ate, slept, got up in the morning, and repeated. She tried not to feel that work was an excuse, and in many ways, it wasn’t. They had a lot to do. Docks, businesses, a few houses to restore because normal repair methods would mean tearing it down to the foundation and starting from scratch. People to follow up with in terms of treatment. Really, she barely had time to sit and eat, much less catch her breath.
Mei Li would have felt perfectly justified in pushing the question of courtship off to the side except for two things. One, Shunlei chose not to work with her for those three days, instead helping Hawes. Two, she felt his absence. So many times she’d turn, intending to tell him something, or ask a question, only to face empty air. Mei Li had become far too accustomed to having Shunlei right at her elbow whenever she needed him. Future or past, that habit of his hadn’t changed.
His absence was very loud.
She knew very well he was giving her space in order to think about things. That he was, in his own way, trying not to pressure her. But she felt his absence like an ache, which frustrated her. There was no rational reason for it—he was in the same town. The same inn, for mercy’s sake. Yet she missed him dearly.
And as much as she didn’t want to think about it, she missed Future Shunlei too. Mei Li thought back to their travels a few short months ago. He had taken her under his wing immediately, welcomed her into his home, protected and aided her whenever she needed. But because she knew he still loved his wife even thousands of years later, Mei Li had always tried to keep romantic thoughts at bay, not letting unrequited love cloud their friendship.
But what if she was the wife… Mei Li circled back to the suspicions she’d had earlier. Was she the human woman Shunlei married, the one he had cherished even five thousand years later? It would make sense, then, why the spell had sent her back so far into the past. That had puzzled her all this time. Why do this when they had records surviving even two years before? But if she were meant to be Shunlei’s wife, then of course she’d need to be in this time. She thought back to that first night at Dragon’s Peak, to the clothes he’d given her that fit perfectly, the hair combs she now recognized as ones he had bought specifically for her.
A slow smile began to spread across her face. At the same time, doubt immediately flared up, making her stomach queasy. These emotions were a tangled knot she couldn’t begin to unravel. And because that frustrated her, it fueled directly into the confusion she felt already. And then she became frustrated at her confusion, which frustrated her even further, as she should be able to figure out the answer to this. This wasn’t some insane logic puzzle, like Abe used to give her, where the answer was impossible to divine in a glance. She should know how her own heart felt about matters.
But Mei Li had a sneaking suspicion that she did know how her heart felt, and that was precisely what was tearing her up so badly. Because what if she wasn’t the woman destined to become Shunlei’s wife, and she was messing with the timeline to be here?
Actually, now that she really thought about it…Mei Li had often wondered what sort of woman Shunlei had fallen for and married. It had always been a sort of intellectual curiosity. Thinking on it now, visualizing him married to someone, had jealousy rising so quickly she turned dizzy with it. She put a hand to her heart, trying to still its mad thumps of protest. Oh. Wow. That was…more intense of a reaction than she anticipated.
So perhaps she did love Shunlei, more than she’d ever let herself admit. Did that mean she had a ready answer to give him? No. There were too many other thoughts, doubts, and insecurities cluttering up her heart to know for sure. But Mei Li had never really let fear hem her in. She might be in emotional turmoil, but there were two facts that were rock solid.
Fact one: Shunlei married (marries?) a human bride. Whether or not it was her, he still chose a human. She couldn’t use the fear of heartbreak as an excuse to avoid him, as he was headed for it one way or another.
Fact two: The idea of Shunlei with some other woman irritated her immensely. She didn’t like the mental image of that one iota. Despite the timeline differences, Mei Li wanted to be that woman.
She’d told Kiyo earlier that you could love someone without being in love with them. She meant it. But apparently Mei Li was further over that line than she’d assumed herself to be. She did not want to share Shunlei with someone else. In fact, thinking of him giving some other woman the same thoughtful affection he’d bestowed on her made Mei Li mad enough to get up and murder something.
After three days of this emotional turmoil, she was sick of being inside her own head. She was also tired of people eyeing her sideways, like they were bracing for an explosion. And she wanted Shunlei back. Not precisely in that order.
It was nearing sunset now. People were going home, or to restaurants, looking for their dinners. There were still scorched buildings and empty lots here and there with homes that had been burned to the ground. She passed tents that sheltered people, and at one point, sadly, a series of new graves. As quickly as they’d reacted, they hadn’t been in time to save everyone.
Mei Li shook the thought off. She had no time for thoughts of that nature. She was on a mission. More specifically, she had a decision to make.
She set out for the side of town not burned, the half that had escaped damage. The market was still up and hopefully open at this hour. She was going to put her own heart to the test. Maybe that way she’d get a clear enough answer to hand to Shunlei. And to herself.
The market wasn’t as stocked as she imagined it normally was. With people replacing possessions lost, of course it would be bought out and leave empty shelves behind. The stores kept their doors open, though, and even at this late hour people were darting in and out, making purchases. Mostly food, clothes, and bedding from what she could tell.
She wandered down the road, looking through windows and open doorways, until she found the right shop. On the far edge of the road, just off the main strip, was a small store tucked in next to the shrine. The window display was of a woman’s wedding outfit hanging by wires.
Mei Li stared at it for a long moment, the beauty of the red cloth with its golden thread embroidery. The symbolism of the lotus flowers stitched into the hem. She took it all in, top to bottom, then closed her eyes and imagined herself in it.
All of her intellectual reasonings aside, did she want this man for herself? Despite all the pitfalls, all the cons, the many years he’d face without her, never knowing when she would be ripped back to the future—was she still willing to take that leap with him?
The answer that came back to her was a resounding yes.
Which meant she had to properly face him.
And yes, that made her intensely nervous, because these feelings might not be new, but she was new to them. New to the realization they were there, at least. She wasn’t comfortable with them yet, and they jittered under her skin. Perhaps she should have slept on it, but Mei Li didn’t want to sit on them now that she’d finally accepted what she felt for him was love.
With a deep breath for courage, she stepped inside the shop. If she was really going to do this, then she needed something first. She could hardly go to Shunlei empty-handed.
Purchase made, Mei Li searched first the inn, and upon not finding her quarry, went further out and through the town. She had the bundle tucked securely under her arm, but it wouldn’t do her any good if she couldn’t find him. Urgency drove her forward, searching for the man she needed more than anything.
Ah, there he was. Shunlei sat on the edge of the newly refurbished docks, perched on top of one of the pillars, his head turned so that he stared out over the sea. With the sun setting slowly toward the horizon, the sky was awash with golds and purples and reds. He looked part of the painting, his red skin and hair sun-kissed with golds.
Mei Li could feel the sight of him sitting there burning into her memory and knew she�
�d never forget this moment until her grave. Seeing him like this, with her heart open to him, made her question how she’d ever managed to keep these feelings at bay.
“Shunlei.”
He turned, slowly, head coming around to face her. Hope and trepidation warred across his face. “Hello, Mei.”
Blowing out a breath, she told him frankly, “I still think you’re crazy. But I suppose I’m also crazy.” Taking the bundle out, she held it toward him with both hands. “Let’s court.”
A wild, ecstatic smile bloomed over his face. In a split second, he was off the pillar and had both arms around her, ignoring the bundle altogether as he lifted her off her feet with his embrace. Mei Li gasped in surprise, equilibrium thrown when her feet left the ground, but wiggled an arm free to put it around his shoulders, hugging him back. Relief threatened to swamp her. In the end, she felt pleased at her decision.
“You won’t regret this,” Shunlei swore against her hair.
Poor, dear man. He thought her hesitation had been because she didn’t want him. Curse her for taking so long to make a decision. “I’m afraid you’re going to regret this.”
He made an instinctive noise of protest.
“Yes, yes, you’ve thought it through, you’re sure of the decision. Still.”
Shunlei sat her back on her feet, gently, but kept both arms around her. It felt a little strange to Mei Li to be held so. Shunlei had embraced her and held her many times, but usually in the course of protecting her. Or transporting her. This was something new, a dimension of the relationship they were just starting. It was…nice.
She liked the way he looked at her, too, with such warmth and affection. It was clear in those never-changing blue eyes. “But you’re sure of your own heart?”
“I’m sure of me, worried about you. Because I think this will be incredibly hard on you,” she admitted honestly. “But I’m willing to try walking this road you’ve put us on.”
He took her doubts in stride, nodding. “Alright. That’s more than I expected after you stewed for three days. You looked very unhappy.”
“Frustrated,” Mei Li corrected with a grimace. “I honestly didn’t know what to do or how to feel about it. I came to the conclusion that my heart wants you. It was only doubt of how you’ll handle the future that kept tripping me up. Am I being too honest?”
“No. I want to know how you’re feeling. I ruminated over this for weeks. The wisdom of it, and my chances, before I made a decision. You’re not saying anything I haven’t thought myself.”
She felt a sense of relief hearing this. “Good, good. Here, open yours.”
Shunlei let go of her enough to accept the bundle still pressed up against his chest and opened it with obvious glee. Mei Li had chosen to buy the belt first, as it was the easiest thing to get without knowing his exact measurements. The belt was tie-on, a dark crimson red with gold threads decorating the front in an elaborate scroll of vines. He ran gentle fingers over its folds, nearly incandescent with joy. It almost hurt to look at him, he was so bright.
“We’ll need to know each other’s measurements before we can continue to buy anything else,” Mei Li noted.
“Yes, but that’s a problem for tomorrow.” With a smug grin, he offered his arm. “Have dinner with me?”
Finally, she had him back. “I’d love to.”
They walked to the inn arm in arm, easy and lighthearted. They chose to have dinner there, as it was one of the few restaurants that could offer variety at the moment. Shunlei darted up to his room to carefully put the belt away before rejoining her in the main dining room. Mei Li, in an effort to have some one-on-one time with him, chose a back corner table with no sight lines of the doors.
As soon as Shunlei came back, they ordered food, and Mei Li had a chance to ask the question that had plagued her. “What was the first attempt? You said you’d tried a few times before realizing I hadn’t caught on to your intentions.”
Shunlei took her hand, taking it into his own lap in a light grip as he answered. His mouth kicked up in a wry twist. “Well, do you remember the deer I brought you shortly after we left Crimson Lake?”
Oh dear. She’d immediately shared it with the entire camp.
“And then the pillow I bought for you. I could tell you liked it, but you didn’t seem to attach any significance to it.”
Oops.
“My last attempt was the combs. You liked those too, but still I saw no comprehension from you.” Shunlei seemed amused by this, and he only shrugged. “For dragons, we first prove we can be a spouse that provides. Then, that we can offer comforts. Our third gift is something that shows we know the other’s tastes.”
“Hence deer, pillow, then combs. Oh dear.” Mei Li winced. “Sorry?”
“It’s so strange for me sometimes.” Shunlei’s fingers played idly with hers in gentle strokes, sending little sparks of pleasure along her fingertips. “There’s so much you know of my people. You speak our language impeccably, you even know how to thrum—and do a passable job of it despite your limited vocal chords—but you have odd gaps where you don’t have any knowledge.”
“Like courting customs,” Mei Li acknowledged, still kicking herself for missing the three times he’d tried. Then again, she’d been sure he married someone else. “To be fair, every dragon I’ve ever met was either already mated, or hadn’t found someone they wanted to court. I never saw this in progress or knew someone who was.”
“Ah. And everything else you know of us, you learned by observation?”
“Well, my master taught me quite a bit too. The language, I learned from him.”
“How interesting.”
Wanting to move him past that, she quickly added, “The thrumming, and how to preen dragon wings, that I learned from a dragon.”
“I would imagine those would be hard skills to teach, one human to another. At least without a dragon present.”
Head canted, she thought about it. “I’m trying to imagine how that would be possible. It’s not working well, even in my head.”
“You can practice on me more often,” he offered generously.
Mei Li snorted. “Is that a hint?”
“You can interpret it that way.” Shunlei waggled his eyebrows at her in an outrageous manner.
Mei Li had a perfect retort on the tip of her tongue when she saw Hawes carefully approaching the table, expression hopeful. They really had worried their team leader, hadn’t they? In a bout of charity, she waved him over. Hawes promptly did so, not missing their clasped hands. Then he went all shades of relieved.
“I take it you’ve decided to court?”
Shunlei outright gloated. “We have.”
Hawes put a hand to his chest, heaving an exaggerated sigh. “I’m glad to hear it. I didn’t want to take that tension out on the road.”
Dipping his head, Shunlei agreed, but there was a puzzled frown, brows drawn together. “Are we leaving soon?”
“I hoped to do so in the next two days or so. We’ve done most of the work here that we can, and we still have a troublesome sword to track down.” Hawes looked between the two of them, now uncertain. “Why?”
“I’d hoped to find enough time to create a harness.” Shunlei turned to Mei Li, biting his bottom lip uncertainly. “Courting couples normally fly together.”
She hadn’t known that, but it didn’t surprise Mei Li in the least. “I can tell you how to design it. It’s basically a box that will strap to your chest.”
“You can’t do something like a saddle?” Hawes asked in interest. “Wait, you’ve had dragons fly you before? I know Shunlei did that short flight, but I mean longer stretches.”
“Yes. Not often, but yes. And a saddle is rather impractical for me. There’s nothing to keep me in it, you see.” Mei Li’s free hand lifted in illustration, moving it back and forth as she mimicked a dragon’s flight. “Dragons bank to the right and left, sometimes doing insane dives and upthrusts into the air. It isn’t a stable, smooth ride all of
the time, not like on a horse’s back. If they twist and turn, even with me gripping the saddle with legs and hands, there’s no guarantee I can hang on.”
Shunlei blew out a deflated air. “She’s unfortunately correct. I can try making a rope harness, but those don’t tend to hold up for very long. Our scales wear away the rope rather quickly.”
Hawes glanced between them, brows beetled in bemusement. “You’ve flown together before, though.”
“That was an extremely short flight,” she pointed out. “In calm weather. Otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to.”
Shunlei deflated even more, shoulders hunched, a pout on his lips. “But I won’t be able to talk much to you if you’re strapped to my chest.”
“I can talk out of the top. And Long-go is loud, you know that.”
His shoulders came up a bit as he cottoned onto her meaning. “That’s true, isn’t it?”
“We’ll work it out.” Mei Li squeezed his fingers before turning her attention back to Hawes. “Two days might be enough, but you’ll need to let Shunlei focus on it.”
Shunlei made a noise of protest. “I don’t know how to do leatherworking like that.”
Oh. Uh…was this a skill he’d picked up later? Future Shunlei hadn’t hesitated to make it himself. Mei Li eyed him sideways. “I’m not an expert leatherworker either. Um. I can draw it out for someone to make for us?”
“That seems the saner way to go.”
Mei Li took this plan further and frowned. The carrier wasn’t what anyone would call small, not at the size that a grown person could fit comfortably inside. Which hadn’t mattered in the future, as it was constantly in use. But here, where it would be used sparingly, it meant hauling it about for the most part. That would take up valuable room on the pack horses. “Actually, I’m not sure that’s wise. We won’t be able to use it much, and it’s bulky. It will take up space on the pack horses we can ill afford to use.”
First of Tomes (The Tomes of Kaleria Book 2) Page 21
