She turned and rolled into the pillow that smelled like him and sobbed for what felt like hours before dragging herself out of bed and into the shower.
She had a daughter she adored and a life to get back to. There was no way she could go home with swollen eyes so her perceptive little girl would ask her why mommy had been crying.
*
Trevor waited until he was alone in the elevator and slammed his hand into the metal wall, grateful for the pain throbbing in his knuckles. Better to focus on that than the pain searing his heart.
He hadn’t walked out on Lissa easily or lightly, but he’d done it based on the main thing Alex had said that made sense. Before you ask her for anything, make sure you can handle her life and everything that comes with it.
Was Trevor sure he could handle dealing with Brad Banks as Lissa’s ex-husband, as her daughter’s father? Could he be a stepfather to a little girl who probably adored a man Trevor hated?
He didn’t know, but he’d better figure it out soon—before he lost Lissa for good.
Chapter Six
It was amazing what one could accomplish with a broken heart, Lissa thought, not for the first time since her return from New York. When she’d finally pulled herself together and showered, she’d found a note slipped under her door in Trevor’s handwriting. “I’ll always love you.”
At the time, she’d thought it was a sweet but pointless gesture and she’d tucked the paper into her bag, one last memory of the weekend. Now, two weeks had gone by. Life had gone on. Lissa had baked cookies for Livvy’s bake sale at school, she’d helped her daughter with her homework, and she’d argued with Brad about canceling his next weekend with Livvy. He’d promised he would take his fiancée to Cancun and wanted Lissa to break the news to their daughter. When Brad refused to change his plans, she informed her ex-husband he could damn well disappoint his daughter himself. Lissa wasn’t doing his dirty work for him.
In the meantime, the News Journal had been so happy with her article on Trevor, they’d made a permanent job offer. Thanks to the beauty of computers and the Internet, she could work from anywhere, and she’d eagerly accepted. The magazine had gone to print on Trevor and was on newsstands now. She’d made sure to overnight a copy to Trevor, but she hadn’t signed a note of her own.
She’d interviewed Ethan Barron and discovered just how hard his life had been, how much he’d had to overcome, and how he’d done it all on his own. He’d returned to his hometown to face the wrath of the brothers he’d left behind and fix his life. Along the way he’d discovered a teenage half-sister he didn’t know he had, and both he and Faith were raising her together. No, it wasn’t easy, but being together with the woman he loved made it simpler.
That’s when Lissa lost her “star-crossed lovers” point of view and got angry at Trevor for not being willing to try.
Her doorbell rang and Lissa opened it. She’d been expecting Kate to come by.
“Ready for the game?” Lissa asked, referring to the annual homecoming football game between Serendipity High School and their crosstown rival.
Kate nodded. “You?”
“No. But I’m going anyway.” Lissa wasn’t in the mood for big crowds and people, but she knew she was better off getting out of the house.
“Where’s the munchkin?” Kate, the schoolteacher who loved kids, looked over Lissa’s shoulder, looking for Livvy.
“Olivia Rose, let’s go!” Lissa called out.
Livvy came bouncing down the hall in the Serendipity colors, maroon and white, with a streak of white on her nose. “Aunt Kate!” she called happily when she caught sight of her favorite nonrelated grownup.
“Hey!” Kate pulled her into a hug. “What’s that you’ve got on your nose?”
“Mommy put face paint on!”
“She’s in the spirit,” Lissa said by way of explanation.
“At least one of you is,” Kate said, her serious gaze on Lissa.
“Go get your coat. It’s a little chilly out,” Lissa said to her daughter. She waited until Livvy was out of earshot. “I’m fine.”
“You look pissed off,” Kate said, too observant as usual.
“I’m just hurting,” she admitted. “I’ll get over it.”
Kate tugged her into a hug. “I’m sorry. I wish things had worked out for you and Trevor. He has no idea what he’s missing.”
Lissa managed a smile just as her daughter bounded back into the room, coat in hand. “Can we go now? Can we? Can we?”
“You’re right. He doesn’t.” She gave her daughter a loving look. “Everyone ready for the game?” Lissa asked brightly, smiling for Livvy’s sake. No need to dull her enthusiasm.
They piled into Kate’s car and soon found themselves at the high school for the big game. As usual, whenever Lissa came by the school, memories assaulted her, some good, some bad. Today was a true mix loaded with might-have-beens.
But unlike in years past, when Lissa would wonder what would happen if she and Trevor met up again, this year she knew. All that was left now was to come to terms with it and put him behind her once and for all.
*
Trevor hadn’t been to the Serendipity High School football game since his senior year. And he wouldn’t be here now except that he was on a mission. Two weeks ago he’d walked out on the woman he’d always loved and he hadn’t had a good moment since. What he had had was time—time to regret, time to mourn, and time to think.
He regretted how he’d handled things that last morning. He’d let Alex’s talk of children being forever and Livvy being Brad’s daughter put him into panic mode. He should have taken a deep breath and talked things through with Lissa. No doubt that’s what Alex had intended with his father/son-like talk. Instead, his words had sent Trevor running.
He’d mourned the years they’d lost and used the time to think about whether he was going to let old insecurities hold him back from the future he’d always wanted. Brad Banks had managed to destroy Trevor’s past, but if he lost Lissa again, Trevor would only have himself to blame for his future.
When he’d decided to make a spur-of-the-moment trip to Serendipity, he’d planned on heading directly to Lissa’s. But his sister had informed him that today was the annual homecoming football game and Trevor knew everyone in town would be there, Lissa included.
Well, if he wanted to make a statement, this football game was the place to do it. How Lissa reacted would determine the rest of his life, and Trevor’s stomach was in knots the entire ride home. He hoped she’d be relieved to see him, but then again, after he’d walked out on her he figured he’d have more of a challenge on his hands. No matter what, his weekend with her and then his time alone had convinced him she was worth it.
They were worth it.
He arrived at the field and immediately saw his old friend, Nick Mancini. Grateful for a familiar face, Trevor called out to him.
“Hey, buddy. How have you been?” Trevor slapped the other man on the back.
“I’m hanging in there,” Nick said. “Keeping busy despite the lull in new construction. How about you? I saw the article Lissa wrote on you. So you’re still making it on Wall Street?” Nick grinned in approval.
Trevor nodded, not wanting to discuss the article or the messengered copy he’d received from Lissa, no personal note included. If that wasn’t a kick in the gut, he didn’t know what was.
“Yeah. I got lucky myself,” he said to Nick. “Somehow I rode out the massive wave of firings a couple of years ago and my company bounced back big.”
The two men turned toward the field. Trevor braced his arms on the fence and watched the play. “Looks like the team’s got a chance this year,” he said.
When Nick didn’t reply, Trevor turned and realized the other man wasn’t paying attention. Instead, Nick was focused on two women and a little girl in the distance.
Lissa and her daughter. Trevor’s mouth went dry at the sight of them and an auburn-haired woman who he thought was Kate Andrews.
“Women,” Nick muttered.
“Which one?” Trevor asked, not needing Nick interested in Lissa on top of everything else.
“This you won’t believe.”
“Try me,” Trevor said.
Nick groaned. “Kate Andrews.”
Trevor released the breath he’d been holding.
“The woman is going to be the death of me,” Nick said, unaware of Trevor’s thoughts.
“You? And Kate?” Lissa hadn’t mentioned Kate seeing anyone.
“Is it that odd?”
Trevor shook his head. “I thought you went for blonds.”
Nick shrugged. “It took me by surprise, too, but after Faith and I agreed we were in the past—”
“You picked up with Faith Harrington again?” Trevor remembered Nick and Faith being a couple back in high school and her breaking up with him.
Nick shook his head. “Never had another shot with her with Ethan Barron in the picture. But the truth is, Faith and I are just friends. Whatever chemistry we had is in the past.” He glanced over at the women once more. “But Kate thinks she’s my rebound girl while I’m getting over Faith.”
“Is she?” Trevor asked.
“Hell, no.”
Nick frowned, looking like a man truly in distress, and Trevor couldn’t help but take pity on him. “So why are you standing here with me when the woman you’re interested in is over there?”
When the woman Trevor wanted more than his next breath stood with her.
“Good question,” Nick said, and before Trevor could blink, Nick headed off in the women’s direction, calling out Kate’s name.
Both of them turned and Lissa’s gaze locked squarely on Trevor, her shock evident. Following Nick, he headed over, hoping that having Kate around would ease the conversation at least until he could get her alone.
He glanced at the little girl jumping up and down beside them and talking to her mother and Kate, and reassessed. If he could get Lissa alone.
“Ladies,” Nick said first, tipping his head in acknowledgment. “You’re looking good today, Kate.”
“Funny, Mancini.” Kate smirked, her moss-green eyes, darker than Lissa’s, narrowing in distrust.
“That hurts, Kate.” Nick placed a hand over his heart. “See what I mean?” He turned to Trevor. “She doesn’t take me seriously.”
“Any reason why I should?” Kate asked.
Nick straightened his shoulders, meeting her gaze. “Because I’m me. And I never say what I don’t mean.”
Trevor had known Nick for years and he’d never heard him more serious.
But Kate merely rolled her eyes.
Lissa shook her head and Trevor tried not to laugh. The poor guy obviously had his work cut out for him if he wanted to get Kate to believe in him.
“Hi, Lissa,” Nick said, turning his attention away from Kate.
“Hi, Nick,” she said, obviously aware of Trevor right beside him.
“Hi, Lissa,” he said, his voice gruff.
“Trevor.” She treated him to a tight smile.
Kate glared at him, obviously well versed on their recent past.
“Who’s this beautiful girl?” Trevor bent down so he was eye level with Lissa’s daughter, well aware this was his one and only first chance. He got this right or he went down in flames.
As he looked into green eyes so like her mother’s, Trevor nearly lost his breath. “I bet you’re Olivia,” Trevor said, putting his hand out to her.
Laughing, she put her smaller hand inside his for a grownup shake. “My friends call me Livvy.”
“Well, hi, Livvy. My friends call me Trevor. I’m an old friend of your mom’s.”
She tipped her head to one side and looked him over, obviously judging him. He actually held his breath, while Lissa, who’d moved closer to her daughter, did exactly the same thing.
“Does that mean I can call you Trevor, too?” she asked, looking up at her mother.
Lissa clenched her jaw, obviously torn and not knowing how to answer.
“Livvy, want hot chocolate?” Kate asked, holding out a hand.
“Yes! Mommy, can I get hot chocolate with Aunt Kate? Please, please, please?” Being Trevor’s friend was forgotten in favor of a special treat.
Trevor straightened.
“Sure, baby. Go on,” she said, giving her daughter’s hair a ruffle before sending her with Kate.
“Let’s go, Nick.” Kate shot a command at the man.
“Drinks on me, ladies.” Nick, clearly clueless about the underlying dynamics between Lissa and Trevor, was just happy to be included and headed off with Kate and Livvy.
“She’s going to make him work for it,” Lissa said, watching the trio until they disappeared into the crowd.
Trevor shrugged. “Seems to me he’s more than willing to do whatever he needs to in order to make her believe in him.” He met Lissa’s gaze, hoping she understood he was talking about himself as well.
“Lucky her.” Lissa shoved her hands into her oversized sweatshirt.
She’d worn her long hair pulled back into a ponytail, with very little makeup, and she looked, in a word, tired. As though she hadn’t been sleeping well, either, Trevor thought.
“Lissa—”
“Trevor, look, we’re bound to run into each other from time to time—which is weird since ten years passed and we managed to avoid each other—but that’s life. If you could do me a favor and stay away from Livvy, I’d appreciate it. She doesn’t need mixed messages in her life.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“Good. Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me just yet. I agree she doesn’t need mixed messages. But my message isn’t mixed. Not anymore.”
Lissa’s expression went from neutral bordering on stiff to clearly nervous. She looked around, noticing the people passing by, catching sight of them, some whispering, some pointing.
Serendipity was a small town, population approximately 2,500, and yet it seemed like everyone knew everyone else. In this case, the fact that Trevor and Lissa were breathing the same air was news. Just as he’d known it would be.
And clearly she was just now realizing it, too. “We can’t talk in front of all these people,” she said on a sharp whisper.
“Yes, we can. Because what I have to say can damn well be said in front of an audience.” He hadn’t planned things this way, but now he realized it was his one shot at making her believe in him.
In them.
“I screwed up.”
Her cheeks flushed pink. She folded her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow, but she stood still. She was listening.
“I shouldn’t have walked away two weeks ago. I thought about you and me and the past ... and I panicked.”
“And now you’re fine? Now you can handle the fact that the daughter I love more than life itself is also Brad Banks’s daughter? How does that work, exactly?” she asked, staring him down even as tears streamed down her face.
He reached out and took her hands. They were shaking.
“It works because I say it does. Because I lost you once for ten long years. And because instead of talking to you about my fears, I left you a second time—and I’ll be damned if I’m that stupid again.” Trevor’s entire life flashed in front of his eyes as he laid out his feelings for Lissa—and at this point, half of Serendipity—to hear.
She pulled one hand back and ran her sleeve over her damp eyes. “Damn it,” she muttered. “You as much as agreed you couldn’t look at my daughter and not see a constant reminder of what went wrong.” Her other hand shook inside his.
“I was an idiot. When I looked into that little girl’s eyes I saw you and only you.”
“Brad gets Livvy every other weekend,” Lissa said, her voice trembling. “And when he shows up, he come
s to the door, I let him into the house, and he picks her up. We’re civil for our daughter’s sake.”
Trevor saw exactly where she was going with this. “I can do that, too. I’m just wondering if it can be done from Manhattan instead of from here. Of course, Serendipity is only an hour from the city, so if you insist on staying, I can also adjust to the commute.”
“I got a job with the News Journal,” Lissa said, addressing the only thing that seemed real to her at the moment. “They’re located in Manhattan.”
Trevor’s grin held both excitement and pride. “We’ll talk,” he assured her, obviously not making snap decisions for her.
She still wasn’t sure she could take it all in. She supposed that was due to the fact that she wasn’t sure she could hear correctly with all the noise. Her vision was blurred with tears, and she just hadn’t expected him here. As for his sudden turnaround ... could a girl get that lucky?
“Sweetheart, I said I can be civil to your ex. As long as we don’t have to invite him for holiday dinners.” Trevor cocked an eyebrow.
Yet she still didn’t understand and until she did, she couldn’t accept. “You walked out on me in New York.” She addressed the thing that kept her up at night and threatened to choke her during the day.
He held her hands in front of him and squeezed her tight. “I’m sorry I let you go without a fight the first time. I’m sorry I didn’t step up and offer to marry you despite you being pregnant with his child. And I’m really sorry I walked out in New York. But I’m not going to lose you again.”
Lissa’s throat was full, her heart was pounding so hard she could hear it over the crowds, and she was still scared she’d wake up and discover this was all a dream. After all, the last ten years had been a lonely nightmare. “Trevor—”
“Wait. There’s one more thing I want to say before you speak, okay?”
She managed a nod, grateful for a few seconds to pull her thoughts together.
He reached into his pocket and then suddenly went down on one knee. “Elisabetta Gardelli, will you marry me? I’ll wait as long as you want, spend all the time in the world getting to know and love your beautiful daughter and proving myself to you, but in the meantime ... will you wear this ring? And promise you’ll marry me eventually?” he asked with the most endearing grin on his handsome face.
Kismet: A Serendipity Novella Page 7
