by Ronie Kendig
“I love you,” she whispered against his ear. When she eased back, her heart jackhammered as a steel gaze bored into her. “Oh. Hi.”
A smile wobbled on his lips, then his eye fluttered closed.
“Dane?”
Nothing but the quiet rise and fall of his toned chest.
Would he remember waking up to her whispered confessions of love? She moved to the side and dragged the chair Watterboy had occupied.
Without lifting his head, Talon peeked at her with one eye.
“You’re a good boy.”
His tail thumped twice, and he returned to chasing squirrels through the dream fields, just as Dane had returned to the drug-induced dreamland.
The side door creaked open. Candyman entered. He’d changed out of his combat duds into jeans. A circular tattoo of some sort dipped below the cuff of the black T-shirt that stretched tightly around his bicep. She’d not noticed with all the gear he wore how barrel-chested he was. His blond hair hung damp. She wasn’t sure, but it looked like his beard might be wet, too.
“Watterboy isn’t here.”
“Yeah.” He thumbed over his shoulder. “Headed to the showers.” One hand rested over his other, which was balled into a fist. He looked tense. No, not tense. Uncomfortable.
Maybe he was nervous about losing Dane. No, he’d heard Helverson reassure them…“You okay?”
“Yeah.” His gaze sparked. “Actually…can I talk to you?”
She hesitated. Wasn’t that what they were doing?
“About Timbrel.”
Smothering her smile, she nodded. “Sure.”
“Good.” He stuffed his hands in his jean pockets. “See, I’m crazy about her.”
Aspen nodded again, not trusting herself to talk.
“But she’s…” He held his hands out, waving them, clearly searching for the right word. “Unapproachable.”
His shoulders slumped. Poor guy. “Yeah. I mean, I see it in her eyes that she digs me, ya know? But…just when things start to happen, or seem like they’re going to happen—bam!” He pounded his fist into his hand.
Talon jumped.
“Sorry.” Candyman held his hands out in a placating manner. “Sorry,” he said to Aspen. “I just thought you might know…what am I doing wrong? How can I get her to give me the time of day?”
On her feet, Aspen smiled. “Stop wearing a watch.”
Candyman shot her a blank stare. “Come again?”
“Look.” She hated the truth she’d have to put into her words. She could do no less for the man who’d protected her, Talon, and Dane in that firefight. “Timbrel’s…unique. She’s been through a lot.”
“Like what?”
Aspen shook her head. “Sorry, that’s not my tale to tell. If you want to win her, it’s going to take time. A long time. And honestly,” she said with a heavy sigh, “I’m not even sure if it will ever work.”
“Look, I get it. She’s been wounded. Probably used and/or abused. I’ve seen it in the field and off the field.” He scratched his beard. “But I can’t figure out how to convince her that I want to give this a shot. I mean a real one, know what I mean?”
“No.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “What do you mean, Sergeant?” Something protective and challenging rose up within her. “You just met her.”
“Actually, no—remember in Afghanistan with the other handler, Ghost?”
Whoa, the guy had a killer smile. It really made her want to see Dane’s even more. And suddenly, instead of this combat-hardened Special Forces soldier, she saw a nervous cowboy.
“I took her picture.” He grinned bigger. “I wear it in my helmet. Have ever since. She’s what keeps me coming home.”
“Candyman, you haven’t even—”
He held up his hands. “I know. It don’t make sense to someone like you.” He scratched his beard again. “Well, for most people for that fact, but I knew when I first met her out there in the desert that she was for me. Seeing her here on this mission, spending time with her—it sealed my fate.”
Aspen laughed. “Don’t tell her that.”
His frown dropped. “Why not?”
“Timbrel doesn’t believe in fate.”
“What does she believe in?”
“Why don’t you find out?”
He studied her, eyes narrowed. “Seriously? Just like that.”
“Don’t beat around the bush with Timmy. She doesn’t play games, you’ve figured that out.”
“No kidding.”
“But let me give you one warning.”
“Yeah?”
“You’d better love big, tough war dogs.”
He hesitated, glancing at Talon. “She has a war dog?”
“Ghost calls him the Hound of Hell.”
“Oh man.” The man’s face fell. “Those dogs hate me.”
Thirty
Clothes floated like ghouls around her. Rising. Falling. Twirling. An eerie sky embraced them as they rose once again then fluttered down. So beautiful. So terrifying. A sheet dropped with a bang.
She jolted. Looked around. Turned a circle. Like blank walls, two sheets stood perfect and straight. A dark, bloodied form drifted through them.
Her feet wouldn’t move. Her heart stopped. She couldn’t breathe. Run! Hurry!
The man came forward. Closer.
He looked kind. Reached a hand out, extended in friendship. In kindness.
Aspen saw her own arm stretched toward him.
A screech ripped through the air.
Lightning struck—struck the man.
Flames devoured the sheets.
She screamed. Tried to run. Her feet tangled. She dropped to the ground. Hand in front of her face, she watched the man, now singed and smoking, float toward her. His face…
No, it wasn’t possible!
“No!” It couldn’t be. “austin!” she howled.
Aspen bolted upright. Drenched in sweat, she groped for light in the darkness. A dream…She hauled in a thick breath. One hand over her chest, she pressed the heel of her other hand to the bridge of her nose and stifled a sob.
A soft thump-thump-thump drew her gaze to the side.
Talon stared up at her with those gorgeous brown eyes. Tail wagging, he wanted to reassure her that everything was okay.
Aspen patted the cot, and that was enough for him. He leapt up next to her and stretched out. Arms around him, she buried her face in his fur. Where was Austin? What was wrong? What if…what if Dane had been right? What if that man was Austin?
Exhaustion pulled at her limbs. At her mind. Seeing Dane nearly die. Watching over him for four hours till Candyman relieved her. She wouldn’t have left, but she could barely keep her eyes open.
She smoothed the dense fur of the Lab, his paws already kicking as he chased prey again through the field of dreams. He hadn’t been himself lately. Could it be…that Talon knew what Dane suspected?
Crazy.
Only crazy in that it was entirely likely that if the man was Austin, Talon would know. Better than anyone else. The thought took root. The children’s hospital—had Talon spotted that man? Is that why he took off then hid beneath the house, terrified by the bullets?
But Austin would never shoot at Talon. They were partners. That bond was thicker than blood.
That’s what I thought—that the blood bond was thick. But if this was true, then Austin abandoned that bond.
The ramifications were heartrending.
No, there was no way Austin would do that. Not after what they went through with losing their parents. Their deaths had been brutal on Austin. He’d never knowingly do that to her.
Not even for some noble cause?
The question challenged her beliefs. Hadn’t she done things she never thought she’d do—like climbing aboard a barge filled with radioactive material—in the name of national defense?
Was that the same?
She dug her fingers into Talon’s fur and stroked it. So comforting, so warm, thinking…
culling…formulating…remembering.
The man had Austin’s build. Even—oh my word!—his walk! Austin was a toe-walker, using the balls of his feet to walk rather than hitting heel first.
She flopped onto her back, one arm under Talon’s neck and the other propped over her head. Was it possible? Really possible that the man in the alley, the one who warned her and called Talon by name…was he Austin?
Possible.
But not probable. Aspen just couldn’t let that be the truth. Austin loved her too much. They were twins. They’d often joked that when one got hurt, it was like hurting the other. They’d promised since they were kids to always—always—protect each other.
“angel, they’re gone now, but I will always be here. I’ll do everything to protect you.”
The words were sweet. They comforted—at the time. But even then, she’d wondered at those words. Austin was the rambunctious twin. The one who got in trouble. Her best friend had often called him the “evil twin” because of his sneaky side. How deft he was at—Aspen’s pulse slowed as her thoughts powered down to that final word—deception.
Water rushed in, deluging the barge. “Aspen!”
She whirled, blue eyes wide with panic. “Talon, I can’t find him.”
“He’ll be okay.”
“No, I can’t leave him. I’ll never leave him.”
Cardinal rushed to her, waters sloshing against his feet. He glanced down. Why was he barefoot? No time to figure it out. “Come!” He reached toward her. “Hurry!”
Her fingers thrust forward.
The ship canted right.
She wavered with a yelp.
“Aspen!”
Behind her, a wall of water dropped. Like a blanket.
Weird.
The spray blasted against her. Eyes wide, mouth open in a perfect O, she stared at him. Clanking reverberated through the air. Vibrations wormed through his very bones. He knew what would happen. He tried to lurch forward.
Feet wouldn’t move. Legs hurt. Water swirled around him.
Then the angel flew.
She flew backward, straight through the water. Vanished.
Forever gone.
“No!” Cardinal lunged. Fire raked his neck and head. Booming thundered through his skull.
He raised his hand…or did he?
“Dane?”
Light seared his corneas. He moaned and looked away. Squinting and blinking at the same time, he stilled at the vision hovering over him. No, this couldn’t be hell. There was an angel standing over him.
Man, that was crazy-corny. But it was true. With the light ringing her curls and her ivory-pale complexion and her white top…“Angel.” His grin felt lopsided. So did his head. Sweet, swift relief staved off the panic as the dream rushed back to the front of his mind. Just like that squall that overtook her. Dropped like a blank—
No, not a blanket. A wall of glass. The dissonance of the dream alarmed him. His mind combining the past and present. Didn’t like that his brain had shifted the “angel” in his dream to Aspen.
Fear. That was fear driving that. Worrying about her. That he couldn’t protect her. That she’d be lost to him somehow.
But for now, she was here.
Groaning, he peeled himself off the table and sat with his legs dangling. He didn’t care if he’d lost a limb. Aspen was alive. He couldn’t take losing her. Not the way he’d lost his mom.
He caught her shoulder and pulled her into his arms. Held her tight. She was here. Aspen was okay. He tried to breathe without pain. But…there was so much…
The room spun. He closed his eyes and waited for the dizziness to pass. “How long have I been out?”
“It’s lunchtime—eight or ten hours.” She shrugged. “I don’t know. I was…I don’t know what time we got back.” Aspen stood close, worry marring her beautiful face. “The doctor checked on you about ten minutes ago—you lost a lot of blood. He wanted you to rest.” She smelled good. Looked good. Talked good.
He remembered…“You kissed me.” He touched his temple. “Here.” He smiled. A real one.
Aspen held the corner of her lip between her teeth as her gaze skidded to the floor.
He took her hand and drew her closer, noticing the red, angry scab on her forehead. “How’s your head?”
“Apparently, my head’s just as hard as yours.”
“Good. Then we might just survive.” He kissed her. Savored her warmth—she’s alive! The docks. Seeing her getting shot. The blood. The dream…Oh man. The dream. His mind had tangled past and present. Twisted them up so tight, he’d been ready to slay a thousand demons to get her back.
Aspen curled into him. She was soft. Sweet. But then she pressed a hand to his chest and nudged him back. “You’re awfully cheery—you even smiled. I think I need to call the doctor back in. That bullet might’ve grazed more than your hairline.”
Cardinal tested his legs. Not quite solid, but they’d hold.
“Hey.” Concern replaced Aspen’s smile. “Should you be getting up yet? You’re not even dressed.” When that concern deepened, he knew she’d seen the scars on his back and shoulders.
Instinctively, he reached for his shirt. “Sorry.”
Her cheeks rosied. “I just meant—”
“You said you loved me.”
Her bright blue eyes came to his. She shifted, her arm around his waist, supporting him, though he didn’t need it. “I told you I do.”
He stared down at her. “I don’t deserve you.” But he wanted her. Wanted to never be separated from her. Even he knew that wasn’t in his power. Just like the churches, just like the feeling that the universe righted as he sat on those pews, Aspen did the same thing for him. Why? How?
“That’s sorta the point of love, isn’t it? Something we can never earn but is freely given.”
It felt like there was a chunk of cement in his chest as three words churned through his mind. He wanted to say them. But you didn’t get to that point after a few weeks of running an op. But nearly dying sort of changes a man’s mind. Yet…No matter how much the planets aligned or God—are You there?—set in motion…
She doesn’t even know who I am. And in a way, without his career, without his identity as Cardinal, did he even know who he was anymore? “You need to know the truth. Everything.”
She shifted. “When you’re ready.”
He let out a breathy snort of disbelief. “You may never speak to me again, but I want you to know the truth. All of it. You deserve that.”
Clapping resounded through the room.
Aspen gasped.
Cardinal flung himself around. The room rebelled, spinning and twisting.
“Very moving,” Neil Crane said as he produced a silenced weapon then dabbed a finger against his eye, as if drying a tear. “I almost cried. Really. And Cardinal, I’ll take that wager.”
Refusing to take his eyes off the man, Cardinal noted the door wasn’t locked. Noted the man was entirely confident that he was in control. And that’s what Cardinal needed to go along with. If the team was down—
The thought tightened the muscles in his shoulders. Fighting wouldn’t do any good. Having been through surgery, losing blood, he would lose. Fast. And Aspen…
He moved his hand to her and tucked her behind him as he watched the man sidle up next to Talon, never showing them his back. He grinned at them then glanced at Talon, who sat up and panted, his tale thumping.
“Hello, boy.” The man petted Talon then stood, wagging the gun at Cardinal. “I see you managed to get your shirt off.”
“You shot me.” It was a guess but one Cardinal didn’t think was too outside the realm of possibilities.
“I couldn’t let you undo what I’d orchestrated.” He smiled as his gaze drifted to Cardinal’s left. “Aspen, really? Falling in love with the world’s most renown spy?”
“Talon, heel.” Aspen moved forward a step, and Cardinal wanted to yank her back and whip out a weapon—but he didn’t have one. And
a sudden move could set off Crane.
Neil caught Talon’s collar. “No, I think it’s best he stay here.”
“Who are you?” Aspen’s voice wavered.
And in that hesitation and pitch of her voice Cardinal could tell she had accepted his theory. “His name is Neil Crane.”
“Actually,” Neil said as he shook his head and started forward, “that’s the name you gave me, Cardinal.” His gaze came back to him. “Tell her.” He stabbed the weapon at him. And through gritted teeth demanded, “Tell her who I am!”
Thirty-One
You did this to me!”
Had the world upended and dumped hell at her feet, Aspen could not have been more shocked. It was him. The voice. The mannerisms. All undeniably Austin. But the thought, the last two years of grieving whatever had happened to him, forbid her from fully embracing the thought.
“No!” Dane shifted, his expression dark. Angry. Frightening. “That is not my doing. You stepped out, you went your own way.”
“No!” His voice scraped the walls with painful fury. His lips were tight. His mouth almost foaming.
Aspen shrunk at the rage and grief roiling through the man’s reddening face. It was him. It was her brother. He still had the telltale temper. “Austin.” She took a steadying breath.
The man’s brown eyes bumped to hers.
A bubble of elation burst through her. A strangled cry. “Austin?” She took a step forward. “Is it really you?”
“Aspen.” Dane’s voice carried a measure of warning. “He’s not—”
“Don’t you dare!” Austin shuffled forward, waving the gun like a madman. “Don’t you dare turn her against me. You’ve taken everything from me. Everything!”
Stumbling to mentally keep up, Aspen found herself moving away from Dane. Away from the security she’d felt two minutes ago. Away from the certainty. Dane? Dane had done this to Austin? But it didn’t make sense. “Did he do something when he was with you in Kariz-e Sefid?”
