Zax floated all around Desmond. “Wow! You smell like monsters too.”
Desmond sniffed under his arm. “What do monsters smell like?”
“Gross,” Zax said as he held his ghost nose. “They smell like pencil erasers after you’ve just used them.”
All of a sudden I could smell the monsters on Desmond too. He smelled kind of burny and kind of sweet at the same time. It was exactly like the smell of just-used erasers.
Desmond sniffed me and nodded. I must smell like monsters too.
As we sniffed each other, Zax sighed and said, “You humans are weird.”
Desmond and I didn’t care. We had bigger things to worry about than what one ghost thought about us.
There were monsters in Kersville. And it was up to the Ghost Patrol to find them!
CHAPTER EIGHT
Dark and Early
Desmond and I had a really good plan. The only bad part was that we had to get up at the crack of dawn the next morning. Oh, and we had to hunt monsters.
I left my house with my backpack and scratched-up lunch box.
At Desmond’s house, it was bright and early. Well, the sun hadn’t even come up yet, which meant it was actually dark and early.
But we had a mission. Desmond unfolded a map of Kersville.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ve put stars on all the places monsters would probably hang out. We can start at the garbage dump.”
“Okay,” I said. “But wait. Why did you put a star next to the car wash?”
Desmond shrugged. “I figured that’s where monsters take showers.”
I laughed. “Well, I guess it couldn’t hurt to look there.”
A half hour later we had checked all the stars on Desmond’s map. There were no monsters anywhere. The sun was rising, and I knew that Desmond was worried we might not find anything scary.
But then, behind the museum, we saw it. A monster! It was peeking out from a fence. We could see its face with its huge round eyes and sharp pointy teeth. Its head looked hard, like it was made out of stone.
Desmond and I rode around the side of the building to see the rest of it, and—
It wasn’t a monster at all. It was a large, ancient mask on a stand that was going into the museum.
“Oh man!” Desmond said. He was disappointed.
“That’s not a monster, but it is a cool mask,” I told Desmond. “We have to ask our teacher to bring us to the museum for our next class trip.”
Desmond kicked a clump of dirt. “I guess” was all he said.
We started riding to school as the day was getting brighter. I smiled because at least we weren’t going to find monsters that morning. Then we heard something weird. It sounded like a deep growl.
And the sound was getting closer and closer.
Desmond and I jumped off our bikes and hid behind some bushes. My heart was pounding as the growl got louder and louder.
Then . . . I heard Desmond laugh. I opened my eyes as a motorcycle drove by.
It was so loud, my teeth vibrated. I let out a sigh. What was I expecting, a monster on a motorcycle?
All this talk about monsters was making my imagination run wild.
It ran so wild that I thought I saw a monster across the street. It was blue and furry with giant monster teeth and dark sunglasses. And it was standing right in front of Sandy’s Candies, the best candy store in Kersville.
“Okay, I need some sleep,” I said. “I’m dreaming about monsters when I’m awake.”
Desmond laughed. “You’re not dreaming!”
We stared at each other. Now that we found a monster, what were we supposed to do? Of course, Desmond walked over to it, and I followed behind him . . . way behind him!
“Excuse me, monster,” Desmond began. “We were wondering, um, what you want here in Kersville.”
I hid behind Desmond, trying to force my body to stop shaking.
I peeked over his shoulder, waiting to hear what the monster would say.
The monster looked at us and pulled off its head. Well, not really its head. It was more of a mask because the monster wasn’t a monster. It was Zax in a costume!
“Got ya!” the ghost said, laughing.
Desmond laughed too, but I was too busy trying to remember how to breathe. “That’s not funny, Zax!” I screamed.
Who would have thought I’d get stuck with a ghost who liked to play jokes on me? Just my luck!
I checked my watch. Jokes or not, it was almost time for school. When we got to Kersville Elementary, we must have been the first kids there.
“Hey, we are early enough for breakfast,” Desmond said. “This will give us time to figure out where those monsters are hiding.”
We went to the cafeteria and grabbed trays. The servers dumped spoonfuls of food on our plates, but Desmond and I weren’t really paying attention. We had our heads buried in the map.
That was when it happened.
A smell hit my nose. And no, it wasn’t the food.
Desmond and I looked at each other, and our eyes grew wider. We both smelled the same thing.
It was a little burny.
And a little sweet.
Just like an eraser!
That’s when we knew. We weren’t the only ones who had come to school early that day!
CHAPTER NINE
Catch-a-Tony
Desmond dropped the map, and we finally looked around. Wow, did we find what we had been looking for! There were monsters everywhere! All kinds of monsters at every table. And let me tell you, they were the messiest eaters I’d ever seen.
They were even messier than the kids at Kersville Elementary. And that’s saying something! There were globs and globs of gross food everywhere!
Desmond and I froze in place when a giant winged creature swooped down from above. It was the same thing that had followed me before.
It was that shadow monster!
And just like last time, it went right for my tray.
Then it circled back and grabbed my lunch box. My abuela’s special noodle soup was in there. It was sweet and spicy, and there was no way I was going to let some monster tear it away from me.
So I fought back. The next thing I knew, we were in a tug-of-war.
I learned an important lesson that day: Never play tug-of-war with a winged beast. Just don’t do it!
Before I knew it, he had pulled me into the air! We zoomed around the lunchroom while the monsters kept eating their food, splattering glop all over the place. I mean, didn’t they know anything about table manners?
Me? My mouth was open almost as wide as my eyes, but I was too scared to scream.
That’s when I noticed Desmond. He had climbed on top of a table and was reaching out to try and grab me. When I got close enough, he wrapped his arms around my legs, but before he could pull me down, we were both flying around in the air.
The monsters beneath us were almost finished with their food. I just hoped we wouldn’t be their dessert!
If we were going to escape, it was now or never. I pulled down on my lunch box, and the strap snapped.
Desmond and I fell . . . and landed right on a pile of goop. It was filled with apple cores, pencil shavings, and toenail clippings.
It. Was. The. Worst.
I almost threw up, but that wasn’t going to help things at all.
A huge purple monster stood right in front of us. I held my breath because the goop smelled really gross and because I was scared. This was it. We were going to be eaten!
The monster picked us up by our feet. Then it said, “Mrs. Tray, we have a little pest problem.”
Mrs. Tray opened the kitchen’s swinging doors. “Desmond? Andres? You are both here early.”
“Um, Mrs. Tray,” Desmond said. “Can you explain what’s going on?”
Mrs. Tray smiled and turned to the purple monster. “Catch-a-Tony,” she said to it in a sweet voice, “can you please put these students down?”
“All right,” Catch-a-Tony said. He
released us, and we fell back into the goop.
Mrs. Tray turned to the rest of the monsters. “Okay, helpers, the school is opening soon. It’s time to clean up this mess and start cooking lunch for the kids. Remember, it’s cheeseburger day!”
As the monsters started cleaning up and putting on aprons, Desmond and I sat there on the newly cleaned floor. I could tell by looking at him that something big had happened.
Desmond Cole had officially lost his appetite.
CHAPTER TEN
Monster Menu
It turns out that all those delicious cafeteria meals Desmond loved were made by monsters. Mrs. Tray is in charge of the kitchen, but the monsters are the true master chefs!
Every morning Mrs. Tray makes food for the monsters.
And she always makes them really gross stuff. Their favorite breakfast is oatmeal topped with green boogers and dead flies.
Like I said, gross!
When they finish eating they clean up and start cooking in the kitchen. After work they head home together, to that weird house on Elm Street. Yes, they all live there with Mrs. Tray!
As for that one monster who kept attacking me? Well, his name is Paul. And he wasn’t trying to hurt me. He just wanted the food in my lunch box. Not to eat, of course. Monsters wouldn’t eat anything that normal. Paul said my food smelled so good that he wanted to figure out the recipe so he could add it to the school menu!
I’m just happy to know Paul wasn’t trying to eat me!
So now Desmond and I have a big secret, and we can’t tell anyone about it.
Because if the other kids at school find out that monsters are cooking all those yummy meals, that would be the end of the Kersville cafeteria as we know it.
And nobody wants that!
About the Author and Illustrator
Andres Miedoso is still afraid of everything as a grown-up, even after all his adventures with Desmond Cole. He lives in New York City with his family, and he remains very close friends with Desmond but returns to Kersville only when he’s needed.
Victor Rivas was born and raised in Vigo, Spain, and he lives outside of Barcelona. He has been a freelance illustrator for thirty years, illustrating children’s and teen books, concept art for multimedia and animation, and comics.
LITTLE SIMON
Simon & Schuster, New York
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
LITTLE SIMON
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First Little Simon hardcover edition November 2018
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Designed by Steve Scott
Jacket design by Steve Scott
Jacket illustrations by Victor Rivas
Jacket illustrations copyright © 2018 by Simon & Schuster, Inc.
This book has been cataloged with the Library of Congress.
ISBN 978-1-5344-2694-8 (paperback)
ISBN 978-1-5344-2695-5 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-5344-2696-2 (eBook)
Major Monster Mess Page 2
