by Joya Ryan
“That was because of Jack, and he’s gone.”
“No,” Harper said. “From the beginning, I told you—”
“Please, God, spare me the ‘I told you so’ speech. I can’t handle it.”
“I was going to say, I told you that he was the catalyst for your strength. He helped you find your spark. But you’re the one that’s maintained it. You should be proud of yourself. Don’t go backwards now. Go forward. With or without him.”
I nodded. But the without part hurt to think about.
“Thanks. Have fun, okay?”
“You sure you don’t want me to come home?”
“No, I promised myself this is my last day of wallowing.” Because tomorrow, Jack would be on a plane, and out of my life.
~
The sun was setting, and I’d never experienced a longer Monday than today. Harper had just left to get some dinner, and I was getting ready to get into pajamas early, when a knock came at the door.
I opened it.
“Jack.” His name on my lips both stung and overjoyed my entire body.
He stood tall, in a black suit, looking pressed and perfect with his town car and driver idling in the driveway.
“I thought you left?”
He nodded. “I’m heading to the airport now.”
I crossed my arms. There was so much I wanted to say. So much I wanted him to say.
“I tried to stay away,” he rasped. “But I couldn’t leave without seeing you one more time.”
Just when I thought my heart couldn’t break further, it did. This was my chance, maybe my only chance to say what I needed to say, so I could at least sleep at night, knowing all my cards were on the table.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for a lot of things. I should have told you the whole truth. My reasons seem flawed now, but they came from a place of logic. I wanted to be strong, wanted to live a new life, one that didn’t include this nightmare that has been following me around since I was a kid. But I want you to understand that I would never use you. I just wanted to be the kind of woman you could be proud of.” I met his eyes and my throat closed up a little. “I wanted to be the kind of woman I could be proud of.”
His brows sliced down, and a look of pain crossed his face. A single tear escaped my eye.
“I love you, Jack. And it hurts so much, but I’ll never be sorry for that.”
His jaw clenched so hard I thought his teeth would snap. His whole body looked like it was humming. His hands flew out so fast I didn’t see them coming. He cupped my face and pulled me in for a searing kiss. I felt all the pain and tension thrum through him. I squeezed my eyes tighter, more tears coming, and wetting his cheeks as well as mine.
He pulled away quicker than he’d come and stepped back.
“I am proud of you,” he said, gravel lining his words. His cheeks were wet from my tears, but it was then I noticed the slightest bit of moisture coating his own eyes. “You are strong, and it’s time you realize that…without me.”
“We can work through this, can’t we?”
A sad smile lined his face. “Maybe someday. But not today. I’ll be busy in London for the foreseeable future.”
“Then, we make it work.”
“All of my focus needs to be on the project,” he said quietly. “Timing is everything, Lana. And our time is up.”
He turned and walked toward his car. Tears rolled down my face. Part of me wanted to cling to the notion that maybe he loved me. Maybe he loved me so much that he was leaving so I could find myself, for myself. He was giving me what I wanted.
The other part of me watched his back as he walked away, and my entire world crumble. Because walking away was something you don’t do to people you love. I stood there and fought for him, and he turned his back on me.
“You knew about London from the beginning. So, was this timeline something you set up from the start?” I called after him. “From the moment you chose to put me in your path,” I used his words back on him, “was this whole thing just a countdown to now? To you leaving? Were we doomed to have an end date?”
“Yes.”
That single word shattered the final pieces of hope I held to that Jack and I could bounce back from this. But he’d set the clock from the start, and the alarm went off. Time for me to go back to the real world. And it devastated my entire being.
“Lana?” he said before getting into the car. I met his gaze. “I believe you. About everything.”
I cupped my hand over my mouth to keep from retching.
He believed me.
Despite the nasty things Anita said, the way the meeting went down, and even about Brock. He believed me.
But it didn’t change the fact that he was leaving, and we were over.
With a final look of his dark eyes skating over me, he got into his car and drove off.
Taking half of my soul with him.
Epilogue
“One week from today you start school,” Harper said. “Here’s to fresh starts.” She clinked my glass and took a sip.
It was a beautiful afternoon, and we sat on the porch drinking spiked lemonade. And as I promised, I gave myself a week to be a devastated wreck about Jack, and I was done now. Well, I was trying.
“Are you glad to be done with work?”
I nodded. “Yeah, it will be a good break, and I can really prep.”
“Only you would prep for school before it even starts.”
I had this whole week ahead of me to really clear my mind and focus on grad school. I’d saved enough money for living expenses for a little while. I would have had more, but I used a chunk to have a security system put in on the house, which helped me sleep at night. Especially since Brock wasn’t moving anywhere.
I’d probably have to find another temp job around the holidays, but I’d deal with that later. My focus was on grad school. That’s it.
“Have you heard from your dad?” Harper asked with caution.
“No.” The only thing I had heard was that Brock was very much around, living at my dad and Anita’s place and “working” on building back up the Denver branch, since Jack had basically told them to fuck off. “I’m enemy number one to a lot of people at the moment.”
“Well, fuck them. I’m here. We’ll get to spend way more time together, and everything will settle,” Harper said.
I looked at my lemonade. I could always leave, except my life, Harper, and school were here. And leaving because I was scared of Brock was not going to happen. He’d messed up my life when I was young. I wouldn’t let him chase me from this one.
I just hoped the “issues” of feeling watched and my things being messed with would stop.
I have the alarm on the house now. Everything will be fine, I reminded myself.
Except for this gaping hole in my chest that Jack used to fill in. I missed him. His heat and commanding control. The way he made me feel like I was his alone, made me feel like I was strong and alive and a woman. I didn’t have him anymore, but I took Harper’s advice and clung to the strength he’d helped me find. I just would have to cling really, really hard to keep it.
Just when tears started to line my eyes, as they did every time I thought of Jack, a loud honking sounded from down the street. A few trucks rolled up to the firehouse. Several guys got out, and were met by men at the fire station.
“Looks like the wild fighters are home,” Harper said.
I glanced across the street. One of the firemen stood out in particular: Cal.
He was at least an inch taller than most of the men, and he was as strong and large as I remembered. From his chest to his shoulders, there wasn’t a small or un-honed part of him.
“Be right back,” Harper said, and headed across the street.
I didn’t get any words out, because she walked across, drink in hand, and started chatting with one of the firemen. One of the same ones from the night we’d gone to the barbeque at the park, I thought.
Cal appeared to say something to Har
per. She chatted with him for a minute, then he looked my way and hustled over.
Crap.
I wasn’t in the best mood, and between my lack of makeup and crying all week, I wasn’t feeling overly self-confident. Not to mention that the cutoff shorts and old T-shirt I’d donned were hardly cute.
Not that I was trying to look cute for Cal, but he was Jack’s best friend, and the last thing I wanted was a report back to him on how destroyed I was. I continued sitting on my porch, trying to appear calm, and smiled.
“Hey, Kitten,” Cal said. “Told you I’d be back.”
“Looks like you keep your promises.” I had meant that to be nice, but it came out bitter, and I quickly took a sip of my drink. Cal, however, didn’t miss it.
“Something wrong?”
I shrugged. “You haven’t talked to Jack?”
He put his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. “I know enough.”
Great. Just great.
“Got room for one more?” he asked, tilting his chin at the spot next to me on the porch.
“Yeah.”
He sat, his long legs bent, and his elbows resting on his knees. “You want to talk about it?”
I looked at him. Blue eyes boring into mine, big muscles encased in a white T-shirt and jeans. He was so casual. His presence actually calmed me, and part of me did want to talk about it. But the other part of me thought better of it.
“Things didn’t work out with Jack and me,” was all I said.
He nodded. “Jack can be a tough guy to crack. But I know he cares about you. A lot.”
I laughed. “Yeah, which is why he left, didn’t tell me for how long—could be an eternity—and set our whole interaction between us up from the beginning.”
“Well, if you don’t count those few small things…”
I laughed again, only this time it came from a place of humor. Cal was making me do one thing I hadn’t done in days: Laugh.
“Are things always so easy with you?”
He shrugged. “Everybody has baggage. Jack’s is heavy. I’m not claiming to be any better. I just chose to outrun mine. When that fails, I run faster, when that fails, I run even faster, and usually toward a fire.”
“Sounds like you either have a lot of baggage or are an adrenaline junky.”
“I like the workout. Also, I’m not convinced about this whole gravity craze. One of these days, when I jump down from a tree, I’ll just start floating. I’m sure of it.”
I laughed again. He was so good at taking my mind from…well…everything.
“Not sold on gravity, huh?”
“Nah. In my experience, it’s way more fun when your feet are off the ground.”
“Well, good luck disproving gravity.” I smiled.
He nudged my shoulder with his. “If it means anything, I know Jack better than I know myself. There’s always more going on with him than he lets on. But, he’s a good guy. Just deals with things poorly sometimes.”
“You don’t have to defend him,” I whispered. Because I messed up a little too. My intentions were clean. I never wanted to hurt Jack, or have him think for a second I was using him. I just wanted Brock gone. Wanted to handle things in my world, so that I knew when he invited me into his it was for the right reasons.
Not that it mattered anymore. It was set up to be this way from the beginning. The only kink in his plan had been Cal. Who, ironically, was now sitting next to me.
I looked at the impressive firefighter. “Are you okay? No burns or lung damage or anything?”
He smiled and stretched a little. “Nah, that wildfire had nothing on me and my boys.”
“Course not.”
“Harper was saying you start school next week?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, so I’ll see you around then? Hang out sometime?”
I frowned. “Um, maybe. I don’t think I’m going to be up for much of doing anything.”
“Well, then I’ll help you through a pity party. I’ll bring the booze and karaoke machine. Can you cover mixers and snacks?”
I smiled, then frowned, because he looked serious. “Are you out of your mind?”
“A little,” he winked. “But you look like you could use some fun. You have a week before school. I’m not trying to swoop in and get into your panties, I’m just asking if you’ll spend some of that time you have with me.”
I looked at him for a moment. Between the dimples, blue eyes, and casual demeanor, part of me really wanted to escape the pity party I was throwing myself.
“Fine,” he threw his hands up when I didn’t say anything. “Your silence is unbearable, and you’ve broken me. The truth is, I do have motives.”
I scowled at him. Of course he did!
Before I could curse him out, he said, “I have water motives. I’m giving you fair warning going into this. I’m going to try to hydrate the hell out of you.”
That made me bust up laughing. My memory flashed to the first night I met him.
“Well, at least you’re upfront with your intentions.”
“Yeah, this woman I met a couple months ago told me that she likes it when intentions are clearly stated.”
“Oh, yeah?”
Cal nodded. “Yeah, she was really smart, and a hottie, so I figured she knew what she was talking about.”
I shook my head and grinned.
“There you go. Smiling is a good look for you, Kitten. You should do more of it.”
I met his eyes, and realized I hadn’t done much of that lately. Even before Jack and I broke up. It was funny how these two men were the best of friends, and yet seemed like night and day in personality.
“Maybe we can hang out,” I finally said.
Cal slapped his hands together and rubbed them. “Awesome, be prepared to sing. I need a duet partner for Endless Love.”
“Oh, God…”
But Cal was already standing and calling across the street to the guys outside still chatting. “Hey, karaoke party this weekend! And, Simpson, you’ve been replaced. I have a new singing partner!”
A guy, who must be Simpson, threw his arms in the air. “Ouch, bro. What ever happened to the Endless in Endless Love?”
Everyone laughed.
My cheeks heated a little. Cal faced me, bent, and brushed his fingertip along my cheek and winked. “Everything will be okay.”
He was serious and sincere, and somehow, I believed him. He turned and walked back across the street. There was so much that had happened. So much that hadn’t. This path I was on had been set from day one. While the outcome was already in motion, one thing still tumbled through the back of my mind.
“Cal?” I called after him, and he stopped and faced me. “Remember when you said that you and Jack were both at the bar that first night?”
He nodded.
“Where were you?”
His blue eyes locked on mine. “I was throwing an asshole out the door.”
My breath caught, as my memory stretched to recall that night. When the fight broke out, a large man in a white T-shirt interfered before the bouncer even got there.
“That was you?”
His smile was all the confirmation he gave before he turned and headed back toward the firehouse. Jack may have come in to be my wall, but Cal had thrown himself into the fray before anyone got too close to me in the first place.
I took several swallows of my drink. My chest was still throbbing from the battle it’d undergone with Jack the past couple months. But, somehow, I didn’t feel destroyed beyond repair.
Which was hopeful.
NOT the end…
Look for Yours Completely Book ~2 in the Reign Series!
Visit www.JoyaRyan.com for more books or check out the links below:
Amazon | Nook
Books by Joya Ryan
The Reign Series
Yours Tonight (Book #1)
Yours Completely (Book #2)
Yours Forever (Book #3)
The Shattere
d Series
Break Me Slowly (Shattered #1)
Possess Me Slowly (Shattered #2)
Capture Me Slowly (Shattered #3)
The Sweet Torment Series
Breathe You In
Only You
The Chasing Love Series (Entangled Brazen)
Chasing Trouble
Chasing Temptation
The Sweet Hill Series
Sweet Hill Temptation
Sweet Hill Homecoming
Acknowledgments
Thank you Anna, Grace, and the amazing team for all your hard work on this book. Thank you Jill Marsal for being the best agent in the galaxy. Thank you E-book formatting fairies for the wonderful edits. Thank you to my incredible family and friends for supporting me.
Table of Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Epilogue
Other Books by the Author
Acknowledgements
