by K. L Hart
“Here, drink this.” Tyler hands me a bottle of water and I finally take my head out of my hands; I know I look like a state right now but I don’t have the energy to care. I take the water and sip it between hiccups, I take big breaths and remember I survived the nightmares once I can do it again.
“Please just take me home.” My voice is small and still hoarse from the strangling. The boys all stare at me like I'm some little broken doll, but as much as I hate that I know that right now, I am.
Chapter Fifteen
“Railey, you have to sleep!” Rick says, I can tell I'm frustrating him, but I don’t want to sleep, I can't handle the nightmares.
“I can’t Rick, you don’t know what it's like.”
“Then tell me!” Rick yells, I find and his face falls. “Please just tell me something, I want to help you but I don't know how.” I look into his pleading eyes and sigh. I get up and go to the walk-in wardrobe and get the small wooden chest which has seen better years, I sit on the end of the bed and cross my legs, facing Rick and putting the box between us. “What’s this?”
“In this very small box is the only things I have of my family.” I open the box and pull out the first item, a silver wedding band. “This was my Dad’s.” I place it on the bed next to the box, I pull out the silver locket and I open it to see the tiny photo of me and my sister and on the other side a photo of my Mom and Dad, a tear falls down my cheek and lands on the picture I gently wipe it off with my thumb. “This was my Moms, she never took it off.” I hand it to Rick and he examines it.
“Is that, blood?” He asks, his brows furrowed.
“Yes,” I pull the small ratty rabbit out and gently hug it beforehand that to Rick too.
“That was Layla’s, she took it everywhere with her and it's ear was always with her thumb in her mouth, Mom washed it so much that it's just tat now but Layla wouldn't have any other teddy.” I smile sadly as I watch him stare at my family's belongings. “That's all I have, the only things I own from the only time in my life where I was happy, loved, and a normal care free child.”
“What happened to them?”
“Dad was out in the yard, cutting the grass and Mom was washing the dishes after breakfast, I was getting frustrated with Layla because she couldn't color witching the line and ruined the mermaid picture. Mom screamed, and then made us run upstairs, she shoved me and Layla in her closet and told us to be silent. I heard her scream and it made Layla cry, I couldn't keep her quiet, we were dragged out of the closet and I saw my mom lying on the floor her throat slit and blood pouring out from it. He strangled us, I watched as the man who killed my mother strangled my five-year-old sister to death, I remember thinking she was asleep. I passed out but I managed to suite, he thought I was dead. When I woke up, he had gone, the man with the evil smile and scary eyes had simply left, I tried to wake her up, Layla. It took me a while to figure out she would never wake up, I laid with her cuddling her until our neighbor found us. I was told later on that my dad was stabbed multiple times.” Tears silently leak from my eyes and Rick climbs over to me wrapping me in his arms.
“Fuck Railey, I'm so sorry.” He whispers, I pull back from him,
“There's more.” He pulls me on to his lap and runs his hands through my hair while I continue my tragi life story. “I was bounced from foster home to foster home, apparently the trauma had made me a difficult child, I was kicked out by one set of foster parents because the nightmares would wake them up. When I was ten, I was put into a really nice foster home, wealthy, sunburn on family and everything was looking up, that's is until the foster father started to sneak into my room after his wife had fallen asleep. He wasted no time, there was no creepy build up no grooming nothing he just held me down and raped me. This went on for months, I did tell, I told the wife and she shrugged and CPS didn't believe me the attention seeking of a troubled kid, they said. But when I set fire to the house I was rehomed, that was no better, I have been raped by Six men and beaten by many more. The last time it happened I was fourteen, I was beaten and raped and left in a ditch to die by a guy my foster family rented me too, the doctors at the hospital said I was so badly scarred and injured on the inside that there is no chance I can have children, I tried to hang myself that week, I tried and failed to just end it, end the nightmares, end the insufferable loneliness and end the cycle of abuse. CPS finally got involved and I got given Celia as my social worker, she can't do much but she did believe me and she did put me in homes with people who didn't even care enough to abuse me which was, to me a light at the end of a very long, very dark tunnel. I may have starved and I may have had to fend for myself but at least I was left alone.” I shudder a breath and Ricks arms tighten around me. “The nightmares are so bad because they are memories and I never got rid of them completely but they did get better not so vivid, more blurry.” I add,
“Until the attack brought it all back?” Rick asks, I don't answer because the answer is obvious. He buries his face in my hair and I can hear him breathe deeply. “I don't even know what to say, nothing I can do or say can take away all the pain, all the suffering. But I can say this, I have never met anyone as strong and as brave as you. I have never even heard of anyone who has survived through so much and still has so much fight in them. And I can say with complete honestly that I have fallen in love with you!” Rick laces me on the bed and carefully puts everything back in the little chest, I watch a s he picks it up and places it on a shelf on the wall and he comes back to me, he lays down at the bottom of the bed and pulls me into his side, my head on his chest and my broken ankle resting on his leg. “I will be here, tonight and every night, I can't stop the nightmares but I can hold you while you cry and I can keep you safe. I can comfort you until you're sick of me fussing and I will be here to make you smile.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.” He kisses my head and traces his fingers down my back soothing me into I'm so relaxed I do fall asleep. I do wake up after having a bad dream but Rick kept his promise and the pain and fear vanished quickly, leaving me to sleep peacefully for the rest of the night.
Chapter Sixteen
I'm hobbling down the stairs, trying to get to the kitchen before I have to leave for school. I stop on the bottom stair and sit down when I hear the boys talking.
“How is she?” Oliver asks,
“She’s ok.” Rick replies,
“Come on, she is obviously not alright, we all saw what she was like in the car.” Tyler says.
“Look, I don’t know how much I can tell you, but it's bad, she told me about her family and then her foster families, she has been so much trauma and pain that I'm amazed she has managed to hold it together.”
“What do you mean?” Harv asks,
“It’s not my place to say, but we are the only people she has, and we have to keep her sane, anything could tip her over the edge! we let no one touch her, one of us is with her at all times, especially with what Dad told us, we have to keep her safe.” Rick answers, I feel angry all of a sudden and I want to storm into the kitchen, instead a hobble in on my crutches and glare at them all.
“I am not some broken little bird; I don’t need fucking babysitters either!” I snap.
“Rails, we didn’t...” I hold my palm up not wanting to listen to it. I grab my coffee that’s waiting for me, half a mug, still on rations.
“I'm not going to school!”
“Railey, come on, your already failing!” Oliver states, I stop in my tracks to the door and slowly turn, slamming my mug back down on the counter.
“I don’t fucking care! I have no future anyway so what's even the point, I'm too damaged right? Any little thing could tip me over the edge.” I glare at Rick. “And it's probably inevitable and I will lose it, whatever remains of my sanity will just be gone, so what's the point!”
“Thats not what I meant.” Rick says his gaze on me is like he is looking at some dying puppy and it pisses me off even more.
“Yes, it was! Don’
t fucking treat me like an idiot too!” Harv touches my hand and I flinch.
“Shit sorry!” He blurts quickly and I lose it.
“Why don’t you all just fuck off, I'm going back to the home!” I start to quickly hop out of the kitchen and head to the front door but the boys obviously beat me and block my exit.
“Railey, you're not leaving!” Rick growls and I square up to him, I drop the crutches to the floor.
“Fucking make me stay, I dare you to keep me hostage, I could add it to the collection!”
“What collection?” Tyler asks, we ignore him as we stare off at each other. Rick eventually darts his hand out and wraps his hand around my left wrist. Is he fucking serious? Before I can even think I punch him in the face, hard. His head snaps to the side and he flexes his jaw as his dark gaze comes back to mine, his stormy grey eyes whirl with anger and I cringe. He grabs me and hauls me over his shoulder. I scream, I thought I could trust them, but I can't, they are monsters just like everyone else. He carry's me up the stairs and I half scream half cry, I'm fucking terrified!
“Rick, come on this isn't helping!” Tyler shouts as he runs after us.”
Rick slams his bedroom door in Tylers face and locks the door, He puts me on the bed and stands back, I scramble off the bed and fall when I put pressure on my ankle. I crawl to the opposite side of the room and lift my knees to my chest, my head burrows in my arms and legs and I continue to shake and sob. After a while I stop crying and sense comes back to me slightly, I know I have no reason to be scared of the boys, or being in this house but I was, I was more than scared, I am losing it, I am finally cracking. I lift my head and wipe my face with my hands, I notice Rick sitting on the floor, his back against the door and his head is hanging. Not only am I sinking but I'm going to drag Rick with me and in turn the other Knights.
I try to stand but my crutches are downstairs and it hurts to lean on my broken ankle, I lean against the wall and attempt a step, before my foot touches the floor, I'm swept up into Ricks arms. He carry's me to the bed and sits me down on the edge and he kneels on the floor. We are eye level and I see the bruise forming from when I punched him, I trace my finger there lightly,
“Rick, I'm so sorry.” I whisper, Rick shakes his head,
“No, I’m sorry, there's stuff happening you don’t know about, it's not safe out there! If you want to go you can but we will take you somewhere far away and set you up.” he looks distraught,
“I don’t want to leave, I just, I can't stand being a victim, and I hate everyone treating me like one.” I put my forehead to his and he wraps his arms around my waist.
“You're not a victim, but the others don’t know anything, and it's hard to explain why your nightmares are so bad now, they are just worried about you. They care, I care and we don’t want to see you scared or upset!”
“I can't tell them, Rick, I can't go through everything again, you’re the only person I have told about it all in detail!” I whisper and he pulls back and nods.
“I can if you want, I can tell them!?” He waits for my answer and I slowly nod.
“But I want you all to stop tip toeing around me, I'm not broken yet, I'm not weak, so don’t treat me like it! No sympathetic glances, no fussing, we get on with it!” I say and Rick nods in agreement.
“Put a film on baby, I'll come and get you in a while.” He kisses my forehead before leaving.
I'm half way through the second movie when Rick finally re-enters the bedroom, carrying my crutches.
“How did they react?”
“They’re angry mostly, Tyler and Oliver want to plan some sort of revenge mission, but I talked them out of it.” I snort out a laugh.
“Other than that?” I ask,
“They just want you to be safe and happy, I know it's not easy but that’s what we all want for you.” I look to my hands,
“I do feel happy here, mostly, I just have to work on the nightmares again, they got better once they will get better again.” Rick smiles,
“As we are not at school today and we all need some cheering up, the guys are setting up Monopoly, it's one of our go to family time things, you don’t have a choice and I warn you it's pure torture.” I chuckle,
“Ive never played Monopoly before so you will have to teach me!” I scoot the edge of the bed and Rick rounds it, taking my hand and helping me up, he gives me my crutches and we both head downstairs. We enter the dining room to find the boys all sat around the large dining table we join them sitting in two chairs left free for us.
“Railey, you can choose between the boot and the hat.” Tyler says,
“The hat.”
“Ok, you roll the dice and move around the board, after you pass go the first time you can start buying properties, when you have all of the property's in the color group you can build houses and so on, if you land in jail you have to roll a double to get out or pay fifty dollars, chance and community chest spaces mean you pick up one of those cards and do what it says. The point is to bankrupt someone else, so you want lots of property and lots of houses and hotels because if another player lands on them they have to pay you rent.” Rick explains,
“Alright, seems easy enough.”
“We will explain the rest as we go.” Oliver states his phone nowhere to be seen, strange.
“Pay me one thousand five hundred!” I say to Tyler as he lands on Park place.
“How is she winning! Rick stop helping her!” Tyler growls as he counts his money, he has mortgaged all of his properties except one and he throws his money in the middle of the board. “I'm bankrupt!” He crosses his arms in a tantrum and pouts and I start laughing as I scoop up all his money and his properties.
“Railey wins.” Oliver states with a smile.
“Three and a half hours and she wipes the floor with me!” Tyler moans making me laugh even more,
“He is a sore loser; he hates losing this game he will be moody for hours.” Rick chuckles in my ear.
“So, what now?” I ask its only early afternoon.
“Marvel movie marathon? Chinese food later?” Harv suggests and I nod in agreement, I help pack away the game and we all go in the living room and we make ourselves comfy on the sofas. Even though the start to the day was shit, like amazingly fucking awful, I am happy now, in this moment I am happy.
“Please tell me you're actually taking this thing off me today!” I say frustratedly to the doctor as he walks in the office, three extra weeks he made me wear this stupid cast, just to make sure.”
“Yes, Miss Barnes, I am taking it off.” I watch as he grabs a little device off the trolley and turns it on, he makes quick work of sawing the cast off and when my ankle is free, I move it and then itch the spot that’s been bugging me for days. I stand and slowly put my weight on that leg and nothing, no pain no discomfort. I smile at the Doctor and he smiles back, “You look good to go, any issues give me a call!” I nod and walk out of the room, Tyler and Oliver are waiting outside for me and they both come to me when I enter the corridor.
“Everything ok?” Tyler asks,
“Perfect now let’s get back to school!”
Chapter Seventeen
I am playing tapped out on my phone from under the desk in home room, because I'm bored and I cannot be bothered to do that stupid English assignment, if I ask Oliver for help and pout when I don’t get it, he usually just does it for me, cheating I know but I really hate English! I jump when the fire alarm starts going off, my phone buzzes in my hand and I open the text from Rick,
Rick: Railey, climb out of the window and get to the dumpsters now!
Me: Why?
The alarm changes and instead of the awful bleating noise, the principles voice is played on repeat.
“Shooter on site. Lock all doors. Stay in Classrooms. Hide if possible. Shooter on site. Lock all doors. Stay in Classrooms. Hide if possible.” I look back to my phone as the whole class starts to panic.
Rick: Do it now!
I'm out of my chair an
d shoving my phone in my jeans pocket and heading to the window, I ignore the teacher who is shouting for me to stay in the class.
“Someone lock this after me!” I say to no one in particular, I hop down and land on my feet, the drop was small and I duck as I half run past all the windows before darting to the dumpsters, taking cover in the middle of them. Oliver is already there, he is reaching under one of the dumpsters and when he comes out with two guns in his hands, Rick arrives. “What the hell?” I ask,
“Shooters have come to school around six of them, they're here for us.” Rick says as he takes a gun of Oliver, he passes me the other one and heads under another dumpster. Tyler and Harv arrive now, Harv helps Oliver by sliding under another dumpster.
“So, what were just going to go in and shoot them instead?”
“No, we are going to go in there and kill the fuckers, you are staying here, hiding!” Rick states with a pointed look.
“Oh, Fuck no! I'm coming!” I smirk as I check the gun clip for bullets, slam it back into place and click the safety off.
“Thats our girl!” Tyler says as he puts an arm around my shoulder.
“Here!” Harv hands me a semi-automatic and I put the safety back on the small Glock and put it in the waistband of my jeans.
“Oh, fuck yes!” I get the biggest gun and it makes me so fucking happy, fucked up I know but hey, I'm not some average chick. Rick groans and I walk to him, I tip toes and kiss him on his cheek.
“Don't worry, babe, Ill protect you!”
“We walk through the front door, we make ourselves known, they will come to us, that’s the best plan for minimal student casualties.” Oliver says playing out the scenarios in his head.
“Sounds good to me!” Harv says and I smirk as I start walking to the main entrance of the school, gun resting on my shoulder. I kick open the doors and immediately spot one of the masked shooters as I enter, probably the one to stop anyone escaping. I hear screams and gun shots from further in the school. The shooter spins to face us and I smile at him.
