by JT Kalnay
"Oh I don't know. A quiet dinner together, a romantic stroll by the river, maybe a little cuddle later on,” she mused.
Jay knew she was teasing him. Knew she would be heading home right after the game.
"Sounds good to me,” Jay answered.
"What made you decide to take the job?" Tonia asked. "I thought you weren't going to change positions? That you really liked Bill."
"It's funny,” Jay answered. Should I tell her about the FBI? he wondered.
"It's funny because the biggest reason I wasn't going to take it was because of my mother.”
"Your mother?" Tonia asked incredulously.
"My mother.”
"What about your mother?"
"She said that it sounded fishy, like it was too hush-hush to be legal."
"Is it?" Tonia asked.
"No. That's not it at all,” Jay answered. "It's a job that requires a lot of hard work and demands tight security.”
"Security?" Tonia prodded. "Like maybe they follow you once in a while?"
"Yeah. Just like that. They even checked out my parents before they made the offer."
"So do you think it was them following you?" Tonia asked.
"Probably. They as much as admitted it.”
"Why would they follow you?"
"To make sure I wasn't selling my secrets to Gershwitz Brothers or some other Wall St. Firm I guess.”
"Oh,” Tonia said. "Do you think they know about us?" she asked.
"I don't know,” Jay answered. He stepped closer to her. He took her back in his arms. "Would it matter if they did?" he asked.
Jay kissed her. Fire danced between their lips, electricity ripped through the air that separated them. Tonia felt the urgency in his question.
"No I guess not,” she managed to whisper before Jay lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom.
"Dinner can wait?" Tonia asked.
"What dinner?" Jay teased as he undressed her. Shoes, socks, slacks, shirt, bra, panties. He removed each article, carefully folding them or laying them flat so as not to wrinkle them. Then he pulled himself out of his own clothes, throwing them randomly around the room as his need grew.
And then he was on her, and in her, and losing himself in the love of this wonderful woman. A man can disappear in the arms of a woman and then reappear later as a more complete creation. If the foundation of their love is pure and faultless bedrock he can be built into a towering cathedral of confidence and caring. But Tonia's love was less stable than the sand on which the unfortunate homes of the Bible stories were built.
"Good show for our last night eh?" the man in the next room said.
"Great.”
"She probably thought we cleared out yesterday?"
"Right.”
"I think I might keep this tape for myself,” he said. The second man made exaggerated masturbation motions and blew a kiss at his partner.
"Screw you.”
"Are you up?" Tonia asked. Jay rolled his head away from her voice. "Are you up?" she asked again, prodding him in the back with a short yet pointy fingernail.
"Hey,” Jay said, awake all of a sudden. "That hurts.”
"Don't you have to go to work today?" Tonia asked.
"Did I sleep through?" Jay asked. He looked at his watch and realized his post-coital slumber had turned into an all-night sleep. "I can't believe you're still here,” Jay said. "Damn. That didn't come out exactly right did it?"
"Not exactly,” Tonia pouted.
"I just meant that you’ve never stayed over. I was surprised, am pleasantly surprised that you're still here,” he said, cupping a luscious breast in his hand.
"Well I had to get my last bit of loving in before you go away for Thanksgiving,” Tonia said.
Jay narrowed his eyes in concentration. "When did I tell you I was going away for Thanksgiving?" Jay asked. The last remnants of persistent suspicion just would not die in his mind.
"You didn't,” she answered. "I saw your ticket stuck to the fridge. Were you planning on telling me or were you just going to ditch me for a couple days?"
"I uh, I uh, I was going to tell you, I guess I just forgot.” Once again suspicion aroused had become suspicion quenched.
"Well that's understandable I guess,” she said playfully. She shifted over close to him and he felt the luxurious weight of her breast as it lay on his chest. He felt her warm fingers wind their way down his back. Jay tensed in fantastic anticipation.
"Yes,” Jay moaned.
"I thought your family was from just outside Athens?" Tonia asked Jay.
"We are,” Jay answered.
"So how come you're flying to Louisville, Kentucky? Is there someone there I should be jealous of?"
Jay fixed her with his eyes. He was trying to decide whether to tell her a secret.
"Are you sure you want to know?" Jay asked.
"I'm sure,” Tonia answered.
"How sure?"
"Sure enough,” Tonia answered now truly intrigued by Jay's secretiveness. There was absolutely nothing in his file about Louisville.
"Okay. Tell you what. If you really want to know, meet me at La Guardia at 3:30.”
"La Guardia?"
"Yes.”
"Should I bring anything?" Tonia asked.
"Enough stuff but minimal stuff for three days and nights.”
"Three days?" Tonia asked. “How minimal?”
“Minimal enough that you can carry it around with you. But at least a warm set of work clothes and steel toed work boots,” Jay added.
"Work clothes?"
"And steel toed boots,” Jay added.
"But I don't own any…"
"If you really want to know what’s going on in Louisville you will buy some, and you will meet me at La Guardia at 3:30,” Jay ordered. He walked to the door and held it open indicating that it was time for Tonia to go. She reluctantly made her way to the door.
"3:30?" she said.
"3:30. With work clothes and steel toed boots,” Jay replied.
Tonia left the apartment. She was intrigued by this new mystery. She headed straight for K Mart. It was the first time she'd ever gone there but she figured that's where the work clothes might be. By 3:30 she'd purchased her work boots and outfits and was waiting for Jay at the Continental ticket counter at La Guardia.
"Hi,” Jay said. He surveyed her outfit. "Not bad.”
"K Mart,” she beamed, proud of her purchases. “They didn’t have anything suitable on 42nd street…”
Jay turned to the stout woman behind the ticket counter.
"Picking up one roundtrip ticket to Louisville for Mrs. Calloway,” Jay said.
"Thank you,” the efficient woman answered.
"That'll be 17A and C for you Mr. Calloway.
"Jay? Aren't 17A and C in coach?" Tonia asked. She had become used to first class.
"Tonia. First class would be distinctly inappropriate for this trip,” Jay said.
"Why?"
"Patience,” Jay answered.
Two hours later they touched down in Louisville, Kentucky. Jay rented a four wheel drive Blazer at the airport and headed up I71 into the hills towards Cincinnati. After 20 miles he swung off the interstate. The paved off ramp ended at a two lane blacktop road that started south and quickly disappeared into ever steeper and higher hills.
"Where are we going?" Tonia asked.
"Patience,” Jay said.
“If you say ‘patience’ one more time…”
By 6:30 it was nearly dark and Jay flipped on the headlights. He slowed the Blazer and headed down a gravel side road.
"I haven't seen another car in half an hour,” Tonia said.
"That doesn't surprise me,” Jay said. "This is one of the poorest counties in the state, which makes it one of the poorest counties in the country.” Jay didn't say another word until he turned off the gravel road and onto a path. The path was really nothing more than two overgrown ruts in the ground. Tonia could feel the height a
nd weight of the forest covered hills that surrounded them on all sides. Jay turned a corner and cut the engine. The lights fell on a very small cabin set up on an ancient foundation.
"We're here,” Jay announced.
"Where's here?" Tonia asked dryly.
"Doesn't really have a name,” Jay said.
"Well what's the name of the nearest town?"
"Louisville,” Jay answered.
"Oh,” Tonia said. She knew she'd never be able to find this place again in a million years. Probably wouldn’t even be able to describe how to get within fifty miles of it. Jay got out of the Blazer and walked up to the house. Tonia followed. Jay climbed the old wooden steps, crossed the creaky porch and opened their front door.
"No lock?" Tonia asked.
"Wouldn't make much sense out here would it?” Jay answered. He walked in. The inside was very dark, only the tiniest bit of early moonlight drifted in the solitary window. Tonia could see her breath in the cold still air.
"Turn on the furnace would you?" Tonia asked. She hoped this wasn't where they were staying.
"Okay,” Jay said. He disappeared into the dark back room and emerged a minute later with an armful of kindling, logs and dry paper. He made a neat stack in the stone fireplace and lit it all with some matches he'd pulled from a waterproof container he'd had stashed in his jacket.
"You've got to be kidding,” Tonia said flatly.
"You were sure you wanted to know,” Jay admonished.
"Alright, alright,” she said. "Where are we sleeping? And why did I need steel toed boots for this? And don’t give me that ‘patience’ crap.”
Jay led her into the back room. Though dark it was tight and dry. There was a huge canopy bed in one corner, it almost filled the room. All the space not taken up by bed was stacked with firewood. Tonia went over to the bed and sat down. She sank into the feather and rope bed.
"Ooooh,” she said. "This is nice.”
"Warmest bed in three counties,” Jay said.
Tonia rolled onto her side.
"Will you turn on a light?" she asked.
"No,” Jay answered.
"Why not?"
"Ain't any.”
"None?"
"Nope. No electricity out here."
"Argghh,” Tonia sighed. "No furnace, no lights. What is this place?"
"Heaven,” Jay answered.
Thanksgiving Day dawned crisp and cool. The two lovers woke slowly in each other’s arms. The fire had died out overnight and they could once again see their breath.
"Come on,” Jay said, getting out of bed. He dressed quickly.
"Where?"
"To work,” Jay answered. Ten minutes later, after Tonia had had her first experience with an outhouse, they were in the Blazer bumping down the trail. In the daylight Tonia could see the fulfilling beauty of late November in the Kentucky hardwood forest. She drank in the fresh air and foliage until Jay pulled up in a small clearing. At least ten children ran up to the Blazer.
"Jay! Jay! How yawl doin'?" they howled, tugging at his jacket, rooting in his pockets, looking for the treats he usually ‘hid’ there.
"Who's sheeee?" they asked.
"Later,” Jay said. "Is he here?"
"In the back,” a diminutive 12 year old beauty said. "He was hoping you'd come,” she paused. "We all were.”
Jay crossed the clearing. Holding Tonia's hand he walked into a house that Tonia figured would fall down at any second. A huge bear of a man came rumbling out of the back room.
"Jay Calloway. May the Lord be with you.”
"And with you Father,” Jay replied.
The immense priest swamped Jay in a tremendous hug. Jay almost disappeared in the hairy man's embrace.
"Who's this?" Father Dan Brennan asked, indicating Tonia.
"Father Dan may I present Miss Tonia Taggert?”
"May the Lord be with you child,” Fr. Dan said.
"Nice to meet you,” Tonia replied.
"Can she swing a hammer?" Fr. Dan asked while he surveyed her brand new work clothes.
"Don’t know. But she can certainly fetch and carry for those of us who can, and if we need someone to run somewhere really fast, she’s our girl," Jay laughed.
Fr. Dan erupted in a deep rolling laugh that shook his sides and made the floor tremble. Tonia feared for the fragile structure.
"Jay?"
"Yes?"
"What exactly are we going to do here?" Tonia asked.
Father Dan answered the question.
"Have you heard of Mary’s Home Missionaries child? Probably not. We're going to work with Houses for Humanity for the next three days building a house for a woman with four children. Her husband passed six months ago. Killed logging. Every Thanksgiving for the past ten years young Jay here has helped us out on a project. And in between undergrad and grad school he did a whole year here with us. But it's a big secret. You cain't be a-tellin' no-one right?”
Three days later, with blisters on their hands and pride on their faces, the two dozen volunteers and half dozen missionaries had finished the three room house, complete with front porch for rocking on. Though it had neither indoor plumbing nor any other modern luxuries it was infinitely better than the corrugated steel shack in which the poor woman and her even poorer family had been surviving. Tonia stood in Jay's arms, admiring their work.
"Nice work,” Jay congratulated her.
"You too,” she said.
Jay pushed a wisp of blonde hair away from her dirty face.
"Hey now you two, you're in the presence of a holy man,” Fr. Dan boomed. "Perhaps I should find some more work for y'all,” he teased. “There’s another cord of firewood just ready to split and stack if you need to burn some more energy.”
"Maybe you ought to just drive you back to my place so you can keep an eye on us?” Jay counter-offered.
Jay and Tonia drove Father Brennan back to his mission in the woods.
"You are welcome here anytime child,” Fr. Dan said to Tonia as he exited the Blazer. "With or without my good friend Jay Calloway.” Fr. Brennan devoured both of them in a bear hug that threatened to snap their weary bones.
"See you next time?" Fr. Dan asked.
"God willing,” Jay answered.
Fr. Brennan placed his hand on Jay's forehead. Jay knelt at the huge man's feet.
"May the blessings of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit keep you and guide you. Go with God,” Fr. Dan blessed. The big man turned and left them, not looking back. Tonia thought she heard the big man sniffle as he walked away.
Jay and Tonia returned to the cabin for their last night in Kentucky.
“I didn’t know you were so religious,” Tonia said.
“I’m not,” he answered.
“But the priest?”
“He’s a priest. I like him. I help him. It doesn’t make me religious.”
Tonia pondered on that answer.
"Sometimes I wish we could be like this forever,” Tonia said.
"What do you mean?" Jay asked.
"I mean just the two of us, doing good things like today, doing right by each other. And others. Living here on this mountain. Things are simple here. Clear. Clear and simple and right in front of you with no hidden meanings or hidden agenda or hidden anything. I mean never going back to New York.”
"We don't have to go back,” Jay said seriously. “You want to stay I’ll stay.”
Tonia started to cry. She cried small sobs of pernicious guilt that she tried to hide but couldn't. Tonia's sniffles turned to tears.
"What's wrong?" Jay asked.
"You wouldn't understand,” Tonia answered.
"Try me,” Jay soothed, stroking her hair.
Tonia opened her mouth to tell him everything, but the story didn't come out. "I can't,” she said. Her words and tone echoed those from Central Park when they had first met. Over the past three days, working on the house, working in the fresh air, Jay had seen nothing in Tonia that made him suspicious in
any way. If anyone had come within five miles of the cabin he would have known. It was just the two of them, and yet she still said ‘I can’t…”
"It's okay,” Jay answered.
He felt a coldness descend all around them. Jay hugged her protectively in the moonlight until she'd cried herself out. He carried her the few steps back to the cabin and tucked her into the warm down bed.
Chapter
Between Thanksgiving and Christmas Jay worked like a bandit clearing all his responsibilities in his current job. In the New Year he'd be starting with Hal and he didn't want to leave Bill Beck holding the bag on any unfinished projects. He'd only seen Tonia one time since returning from Kentucky. She'd been quiet and distant.
Jay wanted to try to see her before going home for Christmas. He'd invited her over for dinner and she'd accepted. Jay had not been able to read her tone of voice. Tonia had come over early for dinner, expecting pizza as usual from the “I’ll cook if you give me the phone number” Calloway.
"What's all this?" she asked as she walked into Jay's “dining room” (a table set in a corner of the “living room”). Dishes filled with delicious looking foods were spread all over the table.
"You must have been cooking for hours!"
"Days,” Jay said with pride. He held her chair and then proceeded to wait on her hand and foot serving a seven course not-so-gourmet meal. Tonia was suitably and duly impressed.
"You have a way of making me feel like a princess,” she said. Some of the coolness was gone from her voice.
"Come with me,” Jay replied. He led her out of the apartment to the stairway in the fire escape. Holding her hand he led her up five stories to the roof of his building. A Christmas season nighttime in Manhattan blossomed all around them.
Jay started singing a soft Johnny Mathis tune as he waltzed this woman he so desperately wanted to love him around the top of the world. He brushed a kiss against her cheek. In the midst of the reverie of their dance magnificent flakes of purest Christmas snow descended as softly as angel's kisses.
"You must be magic,” Tonia said.
"The magic is in our love,” Jay replied.
Tonia stiffened at the word love. Her bottom lip trembled almost imperceptibly at first but then in ever larger quivering tremors. Guilty tears dewed up in her eyes. She broke the dance and backed off two steps from Jay, just out of his reach.
