“I can, and I am,” he said, zipping the bag.
“But, Will, everything I’ve ever done, it’s been for you,” she said. “I gave up my dreams for you. My world revolved around you.”
“Well, then you should be relieved to have some free time on your hands,” he said, picking up the bag.
He slung it over his shoulder and hoisted a box under the crook of his arm. Nikki felt her heart pound hard in her chest. She wanted to fling herself at his feet and beg. She wanted to hold on to his leg and make him stay. She wanted to stretch out across the doorway and block his exit.
But she did none of these things.
Instead, she sat on the edge of the bed and said nothing as her husband walked out of her life.
Nikki could not believe her husband had left her. She had refused to let tears flow last night. And now, this Saturday morning, as she scrambled eggs for her child, none fell from her eyes.
She served Psalm breakfast and then sat at the kitchen table with a calculator. Her heart hurt terribly at the thought of losing her husband, but she knew she still had to be practical. What would she do about money? How would she support herself and her child? The thoughts swirled around her mind.
She wrote down expenses, and then the thought came to her. The newspaper. That’s it. She snapped her fingers. She would apply for a job as a photographer.
The photo editor had told her several times that he’d love to have her on staff. When Nikki shot that photo of that accident right around the time William signed up to run for office, the editor had been impressed with her work. She had been on the interstate when she saw the accident. Instinctively, she had grabbed her camera. She recalled now that William had been angry after seeing that photo in the paper. He hadn’t let her explain that she had taken the photo on a whim, not as a deliberate act of defiance. But maybe that photo, and all her previous work, would be enough to land her a job. Nikki’s hand shook as she dialed the number to the paper. She doubted if the photo editor would be in on a Saturday, but called anyway, as she knew newspaper folks often had erratic schedules.
“Joe Smiles, please,” she said when someone answered.
“This is Joe.”
“Hi, Joe,” Nikki said. “It’s Nikki Broussard.”
“Hi, Nikki,” he said. “How are you?”
“I’m doing great. I was actually calling to see about getting some work, maybe if you had some freelance assignments. Or even a full-time position.”
She heard Joe sigh. “Well, Nikki, we have a slight problem with that right now,” he said. “I’d love to hire you—full-time, even—but unfortunately, this latest business with the credit cards is posing a real problem. I don’t know that I can bring you on, on even a freelance basis, with that thing hanging out there.”
Nikki closed her eyes a moment and let out a deep breath. “Joe, it was a crazy situation,” she said. “I’m really sorry that all happened.”
“Yeah, Nikki, I couldn’t believe it when I heard it,” Joe said. “We were all shocked. We’ve enjoyed working with you in the past. You were a great intern and you’ve done some good freelance work for us.”
“Thanks, Joe,” Nikki said, “but I really need a job.”
“Nikki, I just don’t know—”
“Joe, my child was sick and I couldn’t think straight,” she rushed to explain. “I made a terrible call. I was desperate.”
Joe’s voice lowered. “You know I understand. If it was my kid, I might have done the same thing. Hope I never have to find out. But right now, I can’t do anything for you.”
“Thanks, Joe,” Nikki said sadly. “Have a good day.”
The phone slipped from her fingers and the tears finally came.
Chapter 63
BLACK MALE FOUND BURNED IN CAR
Nikki wouldn’t have paid any attention to the headline, but the smiling face of Troy caught her attention. Why was Troy’s picture under this headline? Don’t tell me he’s gone and killed somebody. I told Danielle he was bad news.
But as she read, her breath caught in her throat. Troy wasn’t the assailant. He was the victim. Troy was dead! She snatched up her cell phone and pressed Danielle’s number.
When her friend answered, Nikki’s words came out in a rush. “Danny Boo, are you okay? I just read the terrible news in the paper. Why didn’t you tell me? I’m so sorry!”
“It’s okay,” Danielle said in a toneless voice.
“I’ve been so wrapped up in my own problems, I didn’t even realize anything was wrong. When did he go missing? What happened?”
“I said, ‘It’s okay,’” Danielle said. “Look, I really don’t want to talk about this.”
“I know you’re in shock. I’ll be right over.”
Before Danielle could say anything, Nikki hung up. She snatched up her keys, grabbed Psalm and raced to the SUV.
Nikki had no time to think about her own life that was falling apart. Her best friend needed her.
Nikki arrived at Danielle’s condo and let herself in. Danielle was polishing her toenails.
“Danielle, I am so sorry for your loss,” Nikki said, hugging her friend.
“I told you, it’s all right,” Danielle said.
“The story didn’t say a lot,” Nikki said. “What happened?”
Danielle shrugged. “I really don’t know. Just whatever they said in the paper. He was shot in the head at close range.”
Nikki gasped. “Poor Troy.”
“Yeah.”
“What are they doing about funeral arrangements? Have you spoken with his family?” Nikki asked.
“Well, I went by his mama’s house only to find two other women over there, both claiming to be his grieving girlfriend,” Danielle said. “So I left.”
Danielle’s hands fluttered lightly in the air, their movements seeming to belie the seriousness of the moment. Nikki looked around her friend’s place. The walls were covered with photos of Nikki and Danielle at various functions over the years. But not one photo was of Danielle’s family. Nikki’s heart ached for her friend who was so enclosed in a lonely world estranged from her own family, especially now as she struggled with the loss of her fiancé. I’ve got to work harder to be there for her. I’m all she has, Nikki told herself.
Nikki grimaced at Danielle’s news. “That’s pretty bad,” she said, casting about for some words of comfort. “I’m sure that was just a misunderstanding. You were his fiancée.”
Danielle fastened the top back onto the red polish. “Well, it’s a shame, what happened to him. I guess he must have been dealing with the wrong type of people. It’s really a shame.”
Nikki drove back home, thinking about her next move. In a matter of two months, she had gone from a happily married woman with a man who adored her, to someone who could very well be headed for divorce. “Oh, and don’t forget, you’re on your way to being an unemployed felon,” she said to herself, recalling her legal woes.
Depression crouched on her shoulders, and she gripped the steering wheel tighter. And now, her ace in the hole—the job at the newspaper—had fallen through. She knew she had brought this on herself.
“I didn’t trust God,” she muttered to herself, finally admitting for the first time the full magnitude of what she had done. It was her own impatience and haste to do something—anything to find an answer for Psalm’s condition. She hadn’t truly prayed over her situation. “I talked about faith, but when it mattered, I didn’t have it. And now, look what happened.”
“I have made a mess of my life.”
The realization hit her hard.
Nikki roused Psalm from bed. “Come on, let’s get ready for church,” Nikki prodded.
“I’m sleepy,” Psalm protested.
“Girl, if you don’t get yourself up,” Nikki warned, “talking about you’re sleepy. Come on.”
Psalm made unhappy noises, but slowly climbed out of the covers. Nikki quickly fixed breakfast and did the girl’s hair into a ponytail at the top of her h
ead and let her wear the rest of her hair down in the back, a decision that made Psalm forget her earlier protests.
“Where is Daddy?” Psalm asked as they walked out the door. “Is he going to church with us?”
Psalm still did not understand that her father had moved out. Nikki hadn’t tried to explain too much. She had just said William was working a lot and would be at the office. But Psalm was used to the family attending church together.
“Well, your daddy is still working,” Nikki clutched about for an explanation.
“Will we see him at church?”
Nikki didn’t know, but tried to distract the child. “Maybe so,” she said. “Do you want to have pizza for dinner after church?”
“Oh, can we really?” Psalm’s eyes lit up at the thought.
“Sure,” Nikki said.
When they arrived at church, service was already under way. Nikki dropped Psalm off at the children’s church service. Sister James caught up with her as she got ready to enter the sanctuary.
“I didn’t see your name on the list of those who have purchased their new usher uniforms,” she said.
“Oh . . . I . . .” Nikki had forgotten about the order. With so much going on lately, usher uniforms were not very high on her list of priorities.
“I tried to call you twice last week,” Sister James said. “I guess your voice mail must have been messing up, because I didn’t get a call back.”
Nikki had avoided contact with most people lately. “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to call you back,” she said.
“Well, I guess I should just be happy you’re at church today,” Sister James said pointedly. “I wasn’t sure if you were coming, seeing as how it’s so late.”
“Oh, I . . . uh . . . yeah,” Nikki stammered.
“Well, don’t just stand out here,” Sister James said. “You’re an usher, you know better. Get on in and find a seat.”
The usher on the inside of the door slowly pushed it open. Nikki was about to step inside when Sister James grabbed her arm. “And don’t you worry about all these things they put in the newspaper. You just keep God’s Word in your heart and He will see you through.”
Nikki smiled gratefully. She quickly stepped into the sanctuary and allowed the praise and worship to envelop her being. She remained standing and swayed to the music, clapping and singing along with the choir and others in the congregation.
The burden of a crumbling marriage, impending legal woes, and the stress of being an out-of-work single mother almost made her sit down, but she refused to give in to the temptation. Instead, she sang with more gusto than ever, as if willing away her troubles.
The new pastor preached about prayer and its healing power. As Nikki sat and listened, she felt encouraged. Her sadness seemed to lift a little. But as she drove home following service, a dark cloud again settled over her spirit. Doubt battled the confidence she wanted to feel. Doubt told her maybe it was too late for prayer to work for her.
Maybe she had gone too far. Maybe God would no longer hear her cries.
Chapter 64
The late afternoon sun peeked through the blinds, casting a glare on William’s computer screen at the campaign headquarters. He had just returned from a full day of debates and had given two speeches on opposite ends of town.
“Winston, didn’t I tell you to make sure I got to speak last at that debate?” William snapped.
Heads jerked up as everyone looked at William. He never exploded like this.
“I’m sorry, boss,” Winston said. “Remember, they flipped a coin. There wasn’t anything I could do about that. I told you ahead of time that I wasn’t able to arrange the order.”
“I don’t care about that, you should have been able to do something!” William said. “I swear, do I have to do everything around here?”
Olivia put her hand on William’s arm. “Hey, what’s gotten into you?”
“I’m just tired of all this!” William said. “And why is this big glare on my computer screen!”
Someone quickly closed the blinds.
“William, you’ve got to calm down,” Olivia said soothingly. “I know you’re just upset about your lousy home situation. But that’s no reason to take it out on the staff. Winston does really good work for you. And the debate went beautifully.”
“I need some air.” William stood abruptly. He strode across the room and flung open the door, slamming it behind him. He found himself staring at the potholed parking lot, his mind a blur of emotion.
September was drawing to a close and the primary election was coming up in a few short weeks. But that wasn’t the big one. William knew it would be a much harder fight to win the big general election in November when it was just Dark and him. Even as William tried to focus on the upcoming elections, it was his wife at the top of his mind. He had skipped church yesterday because he didn’t want to bump into her there. He knew that wasn’t the best approach, but he couldn’t risk running into her because he knew if he saw her, he may give in and come back home. And right now, he just didn’t know if he could go back home.
She had lied to him repeatedly, it seemed. When had she become so deceitful? When had she started going around behind his back? It was a good thing he did have this campaign to keep him occupied.
William knew he could not take his pain and frustration out on his staff. He walked back into the building and took a deep breath. “Hey, I’m sorry for blowing up earlier,” he said to Winston, who gave him a thumbs-up sign and went back to work.
To Olivia, he confided, “I guess I’m just in a bad mood. I don’t understand what’s going on with me and my wife, we’ve never been like this before. I’m angry with her, yet I love her. I keep wanting to reach for the phone to call her, but then I think maybe it’s all a waste of time.”
Olivia chose her words carefully. “Well, you’re a good man,” she said. “And maybe all of this happened for a reason. Maybe she’s not the type of woman you need to have on your arm when you get elected mayor.”
William paused for a moment. “You think I’ll get elected?”
Olivia smiled into his eyes. “Yes, I do. You’d be the perfect mayor.”
Chapter 65
Nikki didn’t want to make the phone call, but necessity compelled her. I’ve got to know who leaked that stuff about the credit card. I can’t believe he would do this to me. . . .
It had been so long since she had talked to him . . . years, in fact. She wanted to never speak or see him again. He represented her past. And she wanted nothing to do with it. But now she had no choice.
Her fingers hesitated over the buttons on the phone, but she pressed them down firmly.
A receptionist or someone picked up the telephone.
Nikki exhaled, then said: “Spencer Cason, please.”
Nikki plunked her purse down on the floor and the thud reminded her of the book inside. She pulled Reverend Chance’s calendar out and set it on the table. It would have to wait. First, she had to get Psalm settled with lunch.
She fixed a grilled cheese sandwich and cut it into quarters, slicing off the edges. She put orange pieces on the side and poured milk. “Psalm, come eat, baby. I fixed your favorite—grilled cheese!”
“Grilled cheese! Yea!” Psalm raced into the kitchen.
Nikki smiled quizzically. “Didn’t you forget to do something?”
“Oh,” Psalm said and rushed down the hall. A moment later, she returned, with water dripping down her elbows. Nikki smiled and handed the child a paper towel, along with her food.
“And what else did you forget?”
Psalm immediately clasp her hands together and said her grace.
“Very good,” Nikki said when the child was finished. “Now, eat all your food. Be a big girl for Mommy.”
Nikki settled on the other end of the table, slowly flipping through the planner. Reverend Chance sure couldn’t write, she noted with a wry smile. His handwriting was atrocious. She struggled to read
the appointment entries. He seemed to have been meeting lots of community groups, of course, and seemed to still manage to do a fair amount of marital counseling and general ministry. And on top of all that, he had been running for mayor.
Something fell to the floor and she picked it up. She flipped it over and frowned. It was Danielle’s business card. Why did Reverend Chance have Danielle’s business card?
She continued to flip through the planner and stopped short. “Dinner with Danielle Esp.”
Nikki re-read the entry, trying to see if she had made a mistake. Danielle Esp? Was that short for Esperanza? She slowly fingered the entry and again looked at the business card. How did Reverend Chance know Danielle? Danielle never said anything about meeting him. She picked up the phone to call her best friend, but put it down.
She’d visit her instead.
Chapter 66
“I didn’t know you were friends with Reverend Chance,” Nikki said casually, when she stopped by Danielle’s condo the next day. It was Danielle’s third day of being off work for bereavement.
Danielle lay on the couch, her hand in a box of chocolate-covered peanuts. “Reverend Chance?”
“Yeah, I got a copy of his appointments the other day and one entry had your name on it.” Nikki watched her friend.
“Oh. Yeah,” Danielle said. “I met with him a couple of times. So?”
“Nothing. I just never knew.”
“Do I have to check in with you at every turn?”
“Hey, why are you getting all smart with me?” Nikki said. “I was just asking a harmless question.”
Danielle rolled her eyes and popped another nut into her mouth. She shifted on the couch, and then stretched for the remote, but could not reach it.
“Pass me that remote,” she said, and Nikki did.
“So, what were you meeting with Reverend Chance about?”
“Nothing! Why are you all in my business?”
“Look, I’m sorry. It’s no big deal. I was just curious is all.”
“Well, if you must know,” Danielle said with a shrug. “I was just going to him for some counseling. I was depressed a while back and needed to talk. I was missing my family and having some issues at work. He was giving me advice.”
Scandalous Truth Page 20
