“We’re just friends. Taking it slow. She’s got baggage and so do I. As you know.”
“Yeah. But the fact that you’re dating is a step up for you.”
“It’s not romantic. Just getting to know each other.” Naked, he thought and smiled inside.
“Isn’t that what everyone says just before taking a plunge into the relationship pool?”
Gabe couldn’t help grinning. “It’s a good thing you’re a math teacher instead of creative writing. That was groan worthy.”
“Maybe.” Brett shrugged. “But look at you just now. Ready to warn Nick that if he steps out of line with Ava, no more tutoring for him.”
“Some warning. That kid could tutor Ava.” He took that one step further in his mind and figured not much math would get done. “Scratch that.”
“See?”
That made Gabe smile and shake his head. “You have quite the romantic streak. I had no idea. If you ever think about switching careers, you could go to work for my aunt at Make Me a Match.”
“No way. Math is dependable.”
“Okay. But depend on this—Courtney and I are nothing more than friends. We’re having fun. And I’m just treating Ava like any other kid.”
“I don’t believe you.” The other man sighed. “Now, don’t bite my head off for this, but someday when you have kids, you’re going to be a great father.”
Gabe could have had kids, but fate had robbed him of that chance when Margo died.
Brett straightened away from the desk. “Okay, my friend, I would love to continue this discussion, but I have a meeting with the principal. That means I need to lock up the classroom.”
“Okay.”
Gabe walked with his friend as far as the administration building, then continued out to the faculty parking lot. He unlocked the Benz and got in but didn’t start the engine. His friend’s words ran through his mind. You’re going to be a great father.
Normally a comment like that would trigger his anger response, but not this time. He felt exposed without it, like he was going into battle without tactical gear, and he didn’t much like the feeling.
What he did like was Brett’s reaction to Gabe dating Courtney. His friend was buying the reality of them as a couple, exactly what he and Courtney were going for.
But he’d expected to achieve this result with his emotional shields in place, and it made him uncomfortable to realize his defenses were down. It was a good news/bad news scenario that confused the hell out of him.
Chapter Eleven
If anyone had told Courtney that she would call off dinner plans with a handsome man who was a god in bed, she’d have recommended admitting that person to the hospital psych ward. But that’s what she was going to do. It had been a brutal day on every level, and she wouldn’t be good company. They’d agreed this fake fling would be about having fun, but a “date” tonight would make a lie of that promise.
After walking in the door from work, she called out, “Ava, I’m home.”
“Upstairs, Mom,” came the faint, music-to-her-ears reply.
It was what her kid always said, but after her terrible, very bad, sad day, those words and her daughter’s voice were even more precious. Courtney was physically and emotionally drained, and making the trip upstairs was almost more than she could manage. But manage it she did.
At the top she hung her purse on the post, then went into Ava’s room. Her child was sprawled on the bed, surrounded by books and papers.
“Hi, Mom.” She smiled and sat up on the edge of the bed.
Courtney couldn’t get to her fast enough, and when she did, pulling Ava into her arms didn’t feel soon enough. “Hi, baby.”
“Are you okay?” There was concern in Ava’s voice.
“I am now.” She breathed in the familiar flowery fragrance of shampoo and let out a sigh of relief that her child’s body was warm. That she was still breathing. “I just needed to see you. Bad day at work.”
Ava leaned back and studied her. “You look tired.”
“I’m way beyond that.”
“Aren’t you going out with Mr. B tonight?”
“We were supposed to, but I’m going to cancel.”
“Maybe you should take a shower before you do that. It might perk you up. I thought you were looking forward to seeing him.”
“I was.” That was more true than she wanted it to be. Thoughts of an evening with Gabe had gotten her through some rough moments today. They’d been going out for nearly two months now, and that included a lot of Sunday dinners with his family. If anything, her anticipation of spending time with him showed no sign of fading. “It’s better if I cancel. I’m doing him a favor, believe me. Although a hot shower sounds like heaven.”
“Then that’s what you should do.”
Courtney didn’t want to stop looking at her girl. She memorized every curve of that sweet, innocent face, every single freckle, and promised to be grateful she was on this earth, even when pushed to the limits of her patience.
“Okay, sweetie. I’m going to call Gabe, then take a long, hot shower.” She kissed Ava’s cheek and smiled. “I love you to the moon and back.”
“I love you more.”
She hugged her teen one more time, then left before Ava could be weirded out. After grabbing her purse, she pulled out her cell phone and headed to her own room. With a tired sigh, she sat on the bed, the same one where he’d made her body remember how life-affirming sex was. She sighed, hit speed dial, then listened to the ring. He answered before a second one sounded.
“Hi,” he said. “I’m just about ready to head over and pick you up. There’s a new Italian restaurant I’d like to try if you’re game—”
“About that, could I get a rain check?”
“Of course.” But he hesitated. “Is something wrong? Are you okay? Ava?”
“She’s fine. I’m just—it was a really bad day at work and—” Suddenly there was a lump in her throat the size of a Toyota. She was afraid sobs would start and she wouldn’t be able to stop.
“Court?”
She took a calming breath. “Sorry. I’m putting myself in quarantine. I don’t want this mood to bring you down, too.”
“Maybe I could cheer you up. And a nice dinner out might just be what you need to—”
“That’s sweet, but I’m exhausted.”
“You have to eat.” There was genuine concern in his tone.
“I’m not very hungry. I’ll just throw something together for Ava.”
“Good. She’s there with you.”
“Yes.” Thank God. Tonight another mother and father weren’t so lucky. “I’m fine, Gabe, really. Let’s talk in a couple of days. In fact, this cancellation can work in our favor. Pretty soon we have to start showing ‘tension in the relationship’ to make our ‘breakup’ believable.” Nearly half of that statement was in air quotes. Tonight she didn’t have the emotional reserves to not be oddly irritated by that. “We’ll talk soon. And strategize.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Talk soon.”
Courtney said goodbye and clicked off. Then she stripped out of her hospital scrubs, bra and panties, and threw them into the hamper with a force that surprised her. The crappy day wasn’t their fault.
In the bathroom she turned on the shower as hot as she could stand it and just stood under the water. It relaxed her even though there was no way this could wash away the memory of that dead teenager’s face. But she needed to feel clean and massaged shampoo into her hair, then soaped her body and rinsed away what she could. This would have to be enough.
She toweled off, put on sweatpants and a ratty, long-sleeved T-shirt, then blow-dried her hair and pulled it into a ponytail. After patting moisturizer on her face, she did feel a little better and had the stirrings of an appetite.
Heading toward the stairs, she poked her head into Ava’
s room. “You hungry?”
“I ate before you got home from work,” she said.
“You still have homework?”
“Yeah.” She put on her most pathetic face. “Have I mentioned recently how much I hate school?”
“I believe I have a text on my phone from this morning addressing that very thing. Sorry, I can’t help you out there.” And thank goodness it wasn’t life or death.
“Go eat, Mom.”
“Okay.”
She went downstairs to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, which was bizarrely empty. “Note to self—go grocery shopping.”
Maybe the freezer had something. She seemed to remember a frozen dinner. It was gone, so she figured that’s what Ava had. No miracles for her today. Until she spotted ice cream.
“Why not?” She grabbed the container and a spoon and had the lid removed before reaching the kitchen table.
Just as she was ready to dig in, there was a knock on the door. Maybe Ava had texted one of her friends for something to do with homework. Probably math answers. She peeked through the window and saw Gabe standing there. Her first reaction was completely physical—heart pounding, pulse racing and a spike in her breathing. Her second response was totally female. She looked like crap.
A second knock convinced her there was no choice but to open the door, so she did. “Why are you here?”
He had a bag in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. “I brought red because it’s supposed to be good for the heart. And takeout food because you took care of patients all day, and I got the feeling that you needed someone to take care of you.”
Self-consciously she touched her hair. “I wasn’t expecting anyone.”
“I know.”
“And Ava’s here.”
“You told me.”
Her insides felt warm and fuzzy, and that reaction might have had something to do with the fact that he clearly didn’t expect anything in return for this kindness.
“Come in,” she said, pulling the door wide.
“I brought chicken parmesan, spaghetti and meatballs. Turns out the new restaurant has takeout.” He set the bag on the table beside the open container of ice cream, then gave her a “really?” look.
She shrugged. “Don’t judge.”
“Heaven forbid. I know where the plates are.” He started to pull out three.
“Ava’s already eaten.”
“Okay.” He got everything ready, then took aluminum containers from the bag. “It’s still warm.”
For a girl who had fended for herself and Ava when she was still just a kid, this being taken care of was irresistibly sweet. And without warning, her emotions spilled over.
“Okay. Let’s eat—” Gabe took one look at her and said, “Court?”
She shrugged helplessly as tears rolled down her cheeks. “It’s just—this is so nice of you. I had a horrible day. Three patients coded and—” She was looking at him but moisture blurred her vision. “We lost a teenage boy—”
“Oh man.” In a heartbeat, he was there, wrapping her in his arms. He just held her close, rubbed her back and maybe kissed her hair. “I don’t know what to say except that really sucks.”
“Yup.” She rested her cheek against his chest and allowed herself to accept comfort. It was selfish because this wasn’t real. But didn’t she deserve at least this much?
When she couldn’t cry anymore, he held her at arm’s length. “I’m going to pour you some wine, and you’re going to tell me what happened.”
A protest formed in her head, but that was as far as it got. She accepted the glass he held out, and the words started to flow as freely as her tears.
“He was only seventeen. Paramedics brought him to the ER with a drug overdose. They were doing chest compressions. He was put on a ventilator, stabilized and admitted for cardiac observation. His parents got there, and then—” The memory of the fear in their faces stopped her, but she swallowed and went on. “He coded again, and I had to handle protocols until the doctor got there. Respiratory therapy was with him, thank God.” She met his gaze and wondered if she looked as horrified as she felt. “I had to get his parents out of the room. We needed space to work. Family is a distraction, but—”
“You did your job.”
“Yeah. But his mom and dad weren’t there when he died. I had to remove the monitors and clean him up for them to see him.” She sighed. “I’ve lost patients before, but this got to me. It could have been Ava—”
“No.” He shook his head.
“How can you be so sure?”
“I just am.”
She let out a breath. “I just couldn’t wait to get home and hug her.”
“That’s a perfectly natural reaction.” He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently. “I’m so sorry that happened.”
“Thanks. Me, too.” She drew in a deep, shuddering breath. “I appreciate you listening.”
“Feel better?”
“Yes. And suddenly I’m starving.”
“Okay. Let’s eat,” he said.
They sat at the table and dug into the chicken parmesan. “This is good,” she said.
“Yeah.” He was looking thoughtful about something. “Ava is a really good kid.”
“She is.” After taking a sip of wine, she said, “But how do you know?”
“She came in for tutoring and wouldn’t have if she didn’t care about anything. Recently she brought someone with her. A boy. Kind of scruffy-looking, hair too long. Hostile attitude. Smart.”
“Should I be worried?” Please say no, she silently begged.
“I checked him out with one of the teachers. Seems he’s okay.”
Courtney realized that he was feeling protective of Ava, like something a father might feel. It looked very cute on him, she thought. Again she had that warm and fuzzy feeling in the pit of her stomach. But why should she believe it was real?
The last time a man pretended to be a father to Ava, the whole thing had been a lie. Even though she was a willing participant in this charade with Gabe, what they were doing was a lie, too.
She looked at the stairway to make sure they were alone, then said, “You know, we have to think about ending our dating soon.” Again with the air quotes.
He met her gaze, and there was something in his that was dark and indecipherable. “Really? Things are going pretty well, don’t you think? My family has left me alone. Is something going on with Ava?”
“Only that she thinks I need to go steady. She’s pretty vocal about wanting my boyfriend to be you, though.”
“But you have misgivings about it?” He was studying her intently.
He wasn’t wrong, she thought, but not for the reason he might think. Her feelings were drifting out of the neutral zone and into a very gray area that they’d cordoned off. His obviously protective streak for Ava had shown her what a real relationship could look like. Not to mention that she was starting to really dislike her new companion, guilt. It had begun to weigh on her a lot.
“Yes, I have doubts. Don’t you?” she asked.
“Well, I don’t have a child, so there’s that. And from my perspective, this is working pretty well. But we agreed in the beginning that either of us could end it at any time for any reason. Is that what you want to do?”
“Saying yes would make me look pretty ungrateful after you brought food and wine and a shoulder to cry on.” A very nice, strong shoulder, she thought.
“And apparently Ava doesn’t suspect anything.”
Courtney glanced over her own shoulder, making sure they were still alone. “No.”
“Then, if you agree, I think we can put off our ‘breakup’ just a little bit longer.”
“Okay,” she said. “But I think we need to start planning it soon.”
In fact, she wasn’t entirel
y sure they hadn’t already waited too long. There was her anticipation to see him tonight along with remembering the pleasure they’d shared in her bed. Not an air quote in sight when she’d been in his arms. What he made her feel was very real.
And tonight. The way he’d brought food and wine and listened. He’d held her when she cried, for goodness’ sake. All of that made her feel better. Was it a lie? Going on with this too much longer was taking a huge chance. With her heart.
* * *
Gabe was leaning back in the chair behind his desk, listening to Jim Whitmire on speakerphone as he pitched him a corporate turnaround for his company. It wasn’t easy to concentrate with Courtney on his mind. A couple of days ago, he’d brought her takeout Italian and held her while she cried for a teenager gone way too soon. He wasn’t proud to admit that she’d felt way too good in his arms. It wasn’t clear whether that was a good thing or a warning sign.
“So, what do you think?” the CFO asked.
Busted. Time for some verbal two-step. “I looked at the financial reports you sent and estimate twelve to eighteen months before implemented changes will positively affect your bottom line. Maybe longer.”
“Whatever it takes,” Jim vowed. “There’s more at stake here than money. This is a family-owned business, so it’s personal.”
“Understood. The thing is, I’ve been kicking around the idea of starting my own company and where to put the home office.”
“You could do both here,” the other man suggested. “Research this area while you’re working for my company.”
“True. Right now I’m working in Southern California. You’re on the East Coast.” Gabe was thinking out loud. He was in his office, and movement in the doorway caught his eye. Aunt Lil was standing there. “I’ve actually considered setting up my corporate headquarters there, believe it or not.”
“So, if you take us on as a client, it could be a kill-two-birds-with-one-stone scenario.”
He knew his aunt was staring at him and refused to meet her gaze. But his “you’re in trouble” sense was tingling. “Realistically, I couldn’t start for a while. I’m still working for a company here in Huntington Hills.”
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