“The offer was to allow us to live so long as we lived as land dwellers, and to wipe us out themselves if we did not because we were a threat, not only to ourselves, but to the others who share our world.
“They did not trust us, though, regardless of the treaty, and the technology they shared with us to compensate us for what we lost. It is in everything that we consume--inhibitors, drugs that keep us from morphing, keep us even from the urge to do so.
“I might never have discovered it except for Raina--likely would not have.”
Audric looked confused. “How did Raina help you discover it when she did not even know what we are?”
Simon chuckled. “By driving me insane with lust and jealousy, Audric. Rage is what gave me the ability to shape change, the complete loss of control of my emotions. Do you not recall the night she enraged poor Tedra until she nigh breathed fire? That was when I began to suspect. I almost transformed thrice in that time when Raina came to us. The first time it was no more than an awareness of the beast side, a stirring that I realized, when I could think, was not me, not the me I knew, at any rate. The other two times, I almost morphed. I began to change, but then I was so stunned by it I just stopped partially through the change and resumed my man form.
“I did not know how to do it, how to call it. Even though none of us had had the drugs in years, none of us, including me, had ever been taught the way.
“When I saw what they meant to do with Raina, I lost control and began to change. If I had not been so focused on getting to her, I am not certain that I could have made a full change, though I had planned to try all along. That is why I have neither eaten nor drank anything of this world since we returned, why I carry the food and drink only from the ship … from Earth. And that is also why I had to go to the Macedons. I had to be sure that they would not attack us if I broke the treaty.”
He patted Audric’s cheek jarringly at the expression on his face. “Now, you know all and you can rest.”
He paused at the door again as he started to leave, struggling with the urge to ask Audric what Raina had meant when she’d been speaking to him. He knew that it was private, and he had no right to ask. Her behavior had alarmed him, though, not just given rise to his jealousy and, although he had thought that he’d mastered the itch to know, his uneasiness and the sense of threat he had barely acknowledged increased the longer he thought about it. He needed to know. He turned to look at Audric.
“What did Raina mean when she said her answer was yes? What did you ask her before you left her?”
Guilt was in every line of Audric’s face and in his eyes as he stared at Simon with a mixture of reluctance and resentment. “I asked her if she would take me back if I returned to her after we had done what needed to be done here.”
For several moments, Simon lost all the color in his face. When it returned, it returned with a vengeance. “And she said yes,” he muttered, but it wasn’t a question. His hands fisted. For a moment, Audric saw a glimpse of his dragon, rippling menacingly behind his eyes. With obvious effort, he tamped the urge to release it and left the room.
Simon paused just beyond Audric’s room, fighting the urge to go instantly to Raina and inform her that she would not be going anywhere with Audric. She was carrying his child! She was his, damn her to hell!
She was going to be the death of him, or she was going to drive him insane! He did not trust himself to speak to her at the moment, however. He could feel the stirring of his dragon beast. If she defied him ….
And he knew she would. He could trust that she would snap her fingers beneath his nose and tell him to go to hell.
If she had any sense of self-preservation ….
He dragged in a deep, calming breath, and then another, and a third.
She was fond of Audric--too fond--but he loved Audric himself. He could understand that she had been out of her mind with worry that he would die. He could understand how powerful her relief must be, the sense of gratefulness of knowing that she would not lose him.
That was what the root of this was, he told himself--fondness, relief, gratitude. She could not, truly, be considering leaving him to go to Audric carrying his child! The child had bound her to him--should have. Whatever anger she still carried against him, despite what he had done, she had to forgive him. She had to see that she belonged with him.
He would give her time to come to her senses.
He was still struggling with his raging beast, however, when he joined the men awaiting him to discuss affairs of state. He realized fairly quickly once he had joined them that he had not appreciated the full extent to which Jaelen had plunged the realm into disaster or the effects the war would have upon an already severely beleaguered nation. Once the nobles captured his attention, they dragged him so deeply into the quagmire of arguments over territorial disputes, taxes, the needs of the poor and homeless, etc., that he hardly had time to eat or sleep, let alone recall that he had a life of his own.
* * * *
As much as Raina wanted to simply lay down and wallow in her misery, as hard as it was to do anything else, the baby had no intention of allowing her to ignore his existence and think only of herself. She avoided the doctors, or healers, as they called them, because she was afraid of what they would tell her and at the same time distrustful of their skills and medicines. True, the medics that worked with the army had managed to bring Audric back from the brink of death, but she wasn’t convinced that that was entirely from their skills and not a stroke of luck combined with Audric’s natural strength and healing abilities.
And besides, she wasn’t draconian. She hadn’t considered before that there might be vast differences, but it wasn’t something one could not think about when it came to medicine.
When she first thought about the fact that she should find a doctor, she figured she’d just wait until she got home and go to the clinic like she usually did. After a few weeks, however, it dawned on her that she might not make it home. Audric had said it had taken them three months. She still didn’t know exactly how far along she was, or exactly how long it was supposed to take, but if she was close to right, and she knew she was, then she was liable to have the baby somewhere between Schalome and home.
Audric would have a heart attack and die if she went into labor and there was no one but him to help her. Just looking at her belly had been enough to send him into panic.
Moreover, even if Audric had decided he did want her and wanted to take her home, he wasn’t in any shape to travel. He was up and trying to get around within a week, but stiff and sore … and grouchy as hell.
The first time he’d tried to get up when she’d been in the room, she’d rushed to help him. He’d looked down at her in bemusement for several moments and then told her he didn’t need or want her help.
She’d looked up at his angry face and knew immediately that he was embarrassed about being so weak. “I’m just going to help steady you a little.”
His lips tightened. “Go and sit down, woman!” he growled.
Her own temper flared. “Grouch! Now, I know you’re getting better.”
“What is grouch?” he asked suspiciously.
“Bad tempered.”
He sat back down on the bed, but grabbed her before she could move away. “I do not know how to tell you this, Raina, because it is obvious you do not know, but you can not hold me up. You are not much bigger than a nuztin and if I fall, which I am likely to do, I will crush you as flat as a … pancake.”
“What’s a noozeen?” Raina asked suspiciously.
“A rodent … much like the mouse.”
“Oh, you are so funny.”
His lips curled. “Why are you giving me that evil eye, then?”
“I’ll just help you balance. If you start to fall, I’ll let you.”
He shook his head at her. “No, you would not. You would try to catch me because you think that you are a giant.” He encircled her upper arm with his thumb and forefinger. “Do you see
this? It is not as big as my wrist and not as strong either.”
“Well I wasn’t planning on trying to pick you up and carry you around!” she said irritably. “I’m just going to help you balance … until you don’t need help.”
He pulled her closer, settling her between his thighs. “You are a very determined woman, Raina, but there are limits even to what you can do.”
“Can’t never could,” she quipped.
He chuckled. “I do not know what that means but I have a feeling it means exactly what I just said. I will wait until Simon can give me a hand.”
Raina sighed. “That’s probably going to be a while. He’s gone.”
Audric’s brows lifted questioningly. “Where?”
Raina shrugged. “Don’t know … off to save the kingdom, I expect. He left a few days ago.”
“He did not say when he would return?”
She gave him a look. “To moi? Why would he tell me anything? And it’s for sure I can’t ask anybody even if I was interested--which I’m not--because nobody around here speaks English besides me and you.”
He gave her a look of sympathy. “Poor Raina. It is no wonder you are always hovering around me.”
“Oh! Don’t even go there! If you don’t want my company, just say so and I’ll stop bothering you.”
“Grouch,” he said without heat.
Raina averted her gaze, trying to master the quiver in her chin. Audric caught her face, forcing her to look at him. “What is wrong, dearling?” His face darkened. “You are wounded. Has someone said something to you?”
She sniffed. “As if I’d know if they did! They all stare at me, like I’m …,” she broke off with a half sob half laugh, “an alien! Or a balloon that’s about to explode.”
“You are imagining it.”
“Right! You look at me like you think I’m going to explode.”
He looked down at her belly, which he had been studiously ignoring. “It is a very impressive mound,” he said teasingly.
“It’s ugly,” she wailed. “I look horrible. That’s why they all stare at me!”
He tightened his arm around her, pressing her head against his shoulder. “You are beautiful,” he disputed. “And very desirable. If my cock were not as nigh dead as I am, it would be leaping up to greet you.”
Raina snorted, and then laughed. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“Give me a few days more and I will be happy to show you instead.”
She lifted her head to look at him doubtfully, but the look in his eyes reassured her. She dropped her head to his shoulder again, looping an arm around his waist. “Promise?” she asked teasingly.
He settled one large hand on her belly, moving it over the hard roundness experimentally. The baby kicked and a jolt went all the way through him. The look on his face was priceless. Raina let out a peal of laughter. “You should see your face! It’s just a baby, Audric. It doesn’t bite.”
The scrape of booted feet on the threshold startled both of them. Simon was standing in the doorway, Raina saw, livid with rage. “It is not his baby, however!” he growled. “It is mine!”
“Uh oh,” Raina said as he strode across the room, grabbed her arm and hauled her to her feet.
“I will speak with you later, Audric. I will speak with you now, Raina.”
Audric made an abortive attempt to rise and settled back with a groan.
“Stay put!” Simon snarled.
“Don’t you dare try to get up!” Raina admonished him as Simon hauled her toward the door. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“She will not be back in a few minutes,” Simon countered.
“I can’t walk this fast!” Raina said breathlessly after they’d left Audric’s room. He slowed, stared down at her a moment and then jerked her into his arms, scooping an arm beneath her knees and lifting her against his chest. Looping her arms around his shoulders, Raina stared at his profile. “I don’t know why you’re mad,” she said tentatively.
“Do you not?” he asked, giving her a fulminating glare before he looked away again.
Raina thought it over and felt her own temper rise. “Actually, I don’t!” she snapped.
“Then I will explain it so that it is very clear to you,” he ground out between clenched teeth.
She waited, but he said nothing else. She did note, however, that he stalked right by her room. “When did you get back?”
He sent her a narrow eyed glare.
Raina chewed her lip. “It was that woman that’s been following me around,” she said accusingly. “She ran and told you the minute you got back, didn’t she, the damned snitch?”
His lips tightened, but he didn’t need to confirm it. She doubted he’d just happened to drop by to see Audric and just happened to catch her. Of course she did spend a lot of time in Audric’s room, but she still didn’t think it was a coincidence.
She knew even before he stalked through the double doors that he’d taken her to his room--or apartment. It was the two guards standing on either side of the door like matched bookends that alerted her. They snapped to attention before he even reached the door and stepped together, each grasping a lever and pushing the doors wide. As Simon carried her through, the guards closed the doors again.
Raina looked up at Simon with a mixture of wariness and irritation when he set her on her feet. After a moment, she decided to let him fire the first salvo just so she could get her bearings and find out what they were going to fight about. “What were you doing in his room, woman?” he demanded.
She gave him a look. “How much did you miss?”
He looked taken aback, but only for a moment. “You will not go to his rooms again. He is recovering. You have no need to hover over him.”
“What’s wrong with me going to Audric’s room?” she demanded.
“He is not your man!”
“Says who?”
“I say!”
“Well, excuse me all to hell and gone!” Raina snarled at him. “But the last thing I remember I was his woman and that was because you not only dumped me, you sent him to me! If you changed the fucking schedule, you should’ve let me know!”
“The schedule is changed!” he growled ominously.
Raina gaped at him in outrage. “Why?”
The question threw him. Something flickered in his eyes. “Because, I say.”
“That’s not an answer!”
His lips tightened. “You are carrying my child.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “I knew that was it, you asshole! Well, you discarded your damned seed. It’s mine now. You didn’t want the baby. You can’t claim it now!”
“You did not tell me you were with child,” he ground out, abruptly reminded of the jolt it had given him when he’d seen her racing around the top of the mountain. “I did not know until I saw you the day of the battle.”
“I asked you if you’d be mad if I got pregnant and you said ‘happily you could not’ get me pregnant. Happily! I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell you then! So don’t get all pissy with me because I didn’t! You didn’t want to know!”
“You do not know what I want!” he roared furiously.
The fight went out of Raina instantly, mostly because she was abruptly afraid that she was pushing him into demanding his rights as a father and that was the last thing she wanted to do. It wasn’t as if she was on her own turf where she could leave and take the baby with her. If that had been the case, even if he’d wanted to look for her, she could’ve made certain he didn’t find her. She was on his world, and here he was master of all he surveyed, and if he didn’t let her go home, she couldn’t. “What do you want?” she asked uneasily.
He stared at her angrily for several moments, breathing raggedly. Slowly, the anger dissipated. A restless hunger took its place, pain and yearning that made Raina’s heart squeeze painfully in her chest. “I want what we had, Rainie,” he said hoarsely, closing the distance that separated them and pullin
g her against him.
Raina stared up at him in confusion, feeling her heart trip over itself. He wanted her? Or was he just saying that to get what he wanted? He wanted things just like they were before, the pact? Or he wanted something more permanent?
There couldn’t be anything more permanent, she reminded herself abruptly, and it just went to show how bad he was for her that, after everything, she still wanted it so desperately she was afraid even to consider it. A hard knot formed in her throat and refused to be dislodged. “It can’t be like it was before. You threw that away.”
He dragged her up more tightly to him, until she was standing on her tiptoes, cupping his hand along the back of her head as he dipped his head to nuzzle his face against hers. “It can, Rainie,” he murmured huskily, brushing his lips over hers, melding his mouth to hers in gentle adhesion and then nipping lightly at her lips with his.
Chapter Twenty Two
Raina sucked in a sharp breath at the first contact of his lips on hers, inhaling his glorious essence, and felt herself falling instantly into a dizzying whirlpool of delightful sensations that beckoned to her seductively, promised heaven. “I don’t want it to,” she whispered dizzily, making no attempt to pull away from him, wanting him to convince her it would be alright, that she could trust him this time not to break her heart.
“Liar,” he whispered back to her, covering her mouth at last as she’d been dying for him to and plunging his tongue past the vulnerable barrier of her lips.
The moment he filled her senses with himself, she was lost--lost to thought, lost to the world, lost in him. Desire rose up inside her in a conflagration that chased everything from her except an awareness of him. She made a sound of surrender in her throat, straining to get closer to him, to feel more, taste more, to inundate her senses with him. She wanted to drown in him, was drowning in the liquid heat, the boundless excitement he stirred inside of her as no one else ever had or ever could.
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