She gives Tucker a warm smile and I wait to see if he’ll smile back. He gives her a small half smile in return.
At least it’s a start.
Now that my brothers seem to be settled for the evening, it’s time to work on solving my problems. While I wasn’t lying about the accounting ahead of me, I know I won’t be able to deal with it until I figure out what I’m going to do about Riley.
I take a seat inside the small, cramped office and look at the stack of receipts sitting there. I know I have to do something to automate the accounting system. Jake should have invested in that before building a new stage area. I’m sure he didn’t think about it because he knows nothing about accounting.
And I have to admit that playing on the new stage was phenomenal. I actually felt like a real performer instead of a member of an amateur band at the local pub.
I pull my cell phone from my pocket and stare at it. I’m glad Riley gave me her number. It’s the one way I have to find her.
It takes me a few minutes to gather enough nerve to phone her. And when I do finally have the nerve and make the call she doesn’t answer.
I’m still not quite sure exactly what to say so I don’t leave a voicemail. It’s too difficult to explain everything in a short message anyway. I guess I could start with an apology.
I phone back again and when I get the option to leave a voice mail, I say, “I’m so sorry, Riley. I truly am. I hope you give me the opportunity to explain. Please.”
When I hang up I rethink every word I left on the voicemail about a thousand times as I wait for her to call me back. Did it sound too wimpy? Not sincere enough? Should I not have ended with please?
After a few hours go by and she still hasn’t returned my call, I decide to go back to my parents’ house and go to bed. Playing with the Wilde Riders again drained me physically and I’m mentally exhausted from everything that went on with Riley.
It doesn’t take long for me to fall asleep but I’m restless all night. When I wake up, none of the pillows or covers is actually still on the bed.
But I did have an epiphany. Riley left her car at Shane’s shop. Surely, he’ll have her contact information including her address in New York. I just have to make sure he gives it to me.
***
“No can do,” Shane says as he shuts the passenger door of the Ford F-150 Raptor he’s working on.
“We’ve known each other since we were kids. You know me, Shane. You know I won’t do anything inappropriate.”
He throws the rag he’s holding over his shoulder and eyes me. “Look, I don’t know what you did and I don’t want to know. It’s none of my business. But I don’t want to get into the middle of it, okay?”
I’m not sure what he’s talking about but when I scan the yard and the interior of the garage and don’t see Riley’s car anywhere, I can feel my heart begin to race and I’m finding it difficult to take a full breath. I’ve never been the nervous type but I assume from what I’ve heard that this is what people mean when they say they’re starting to panic.
“Where’s Riley’s car?” I ask.
“She had it towed back to the city early this morning. She paid for services rendered and she gave me very specific instructions not to release any of her personal information to anyone. She even threatened me with a lawsuit if I did.”
She’s a lot angrier than I ever imagined. I don’t know whether to cry or scream. I may be doing both very shortly. I don’t want Shane to get in trouble but I feel desperate. He has something I need and he won’t give it to me.
“Maybe you could just accidently leave her file open and I could just happen to walk by it,” I suggest.
When he shakes his head, my heart sinks. “I’m sorry. I really am. I wish I could help you. I can see she means a lot to you but you’re going to have to find another way. I just can’t put my business at risk. I know you understand.”
I do understand but I’m not happy about it. I never thought I’d put my career at risk for anything until I met Riley. Now that I’m faced with the possibility of never seeing her again, work doesn’t feel as important as it once did.
“Jake told me she works for some bank in the city. You could always find her there.”
“She won’t be there until Monday.” I sigh.
“If you can’t wait until Monday, you really do have it bad for her.”
“I may not have a choice.”
“I find it hard to believe that Mr. Perfect did anything so bad that he won’t be able to fix it.”
“Why does everyone insist on calling me Mr. Perfect? I’m obviously not.”
“Honestly, Dude. Knowing you have faults like the rest of us actually makes you much cooler.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
He shrugs. “It can’t hurt.”
Maybe it does help a little. “Am I as cool as Jake?” I venture.
He frowns. “Not even close. But you’re a much cooler version of Cooper.”
At least it’s something.
***
“Please, go back to the city,” Jake says as he passes me the bowl of scrambled eggs he made for all of us. “I don’t think I can take your grumpy ass one more minute.”
I put a small serving of the eggs on my plate and pass them to Hunter.
“Now let me get this straight,” Hunter says as he scoops a gigantic pile of the eggs into his plate. I have to make the assumption that he’s going through some kind of growth spurt. There’s no other explanation for how the guy can eat like a horse and still be rail thin. “You didn’t tell Riley about any of your accomplishments, the ones that you’re so proud of and that you never let anyone ever forget, because you wanted her to think you were some country hick? You hate Old Town and everything about it. You couldn’t wait to get out of here. I don’t understand why you’d want her to think you still live here.”
I shake my head because every time someone else says it, they make it sound so ridiculous and I want to kick myself for being so stupid. “Because when I met her, she said she didn’t want to date any Wall Street guys. I just thought she’d like me better if she believed I wasn’t one of them.”
“But you are one of them,” Tucker adds, as he grabs a second helping of eggs and two extra slices of toast to go with it. “What did you think was going to happen when she found out?”
“I thought I’d be the one to tell her. I didn’t think Harley would spill the beans.”
Jake laughs. “That was your first mistake.”
I glare at him. “Like you know the first thing about Harley.”
I know it’s a low blow and I really shouldn’t get into with him but I’m angry right now and he’s a good target.
“I know a lot about Harley,” he protests.
I laugh. “Then you know that she’s totally in love with you and it breaks her heart every time you’re with someone else.”
Jake looks like I slapped him in the face and I immediately feel bad about it. But I also think it’s something he needed to hear.
He looks like he wants to respond but no words come out of his mouth. He pushes his chair from the table with so much force, he knocks it over. When he looks over at me, his eyes are narrowed and he looks angrier than I’ve ever seen him. I guess I stuck a nerve. Then it occurs to me that maybe he has some feelings for Harley that he either didn’t realize or has been refusing to acknowledge. Maybe this will give him more to think about.
“All actions have consequences, Jake. I realize my actions were wrong and I’m going to do everything in my power to make it up to Riley because I want another chance with her. I hope you’ll think about what you’re doing with Harley.”
When I get up from the table, I look over at my two younger brothers. Hunter’s mouth is open so wide, I can almost see down his throat. Tucker, on the other hand, is shoveling eggs into his mouth like everything is perfectly normal.
“When I come back next weekend, I’ll bring some accounting software with m
e. I’ll get everything automated and then I’ll teach you how to use it. Do you think you can handle that?”
Jake doesn’t look up at me but I can see him give a quick nod. “Whatever,” he mumbles.
***
My apartment is just how I left it. Not a thing out of place. Everything is brand new and perfect, from the state-of-the-art stainless steel appliances to the ultra-modern art. It’s an expression of the way I wanted my life to be when I moved in almost two years ago.
Now it feels empty and lifeless. I realize it doesn’t have the feeling of home that my parents’ house always had and still does with my brothers living there. It’s a cluttered mess of art work and antiques but it still feels like home.
My apartment feels more like a showpiece than a place to live. Like those model homes they use to try to get people to purchase property. Was I using this apartment to sell people on my new life?
Maybe I’m more of that country boy who Riley thought I was than I’m willing to admit.
My plan for Monday morning is to stand outside of the H & C bank building and beg Riley to talk to me for a few minutes before she goes inside. I need to see her. I need to talk to her. I need the chance to explain.
But I also feel the overwhelming need to hold her. To feel her in my arms again. To have her lips on mine. To be inside her.
I miss her.
I realize that I don’t just want Riley in my life, I need her in it. I have to make things right again.
I just hope she’ll give me a chance.
Twelve
Riley
As I head toward the H & C building, I know everyone is going to ask me why I look so bad. My eyes are so puffy from crying all weekend that I look like I had an allergic reaction to something. And it’s probably going to be obvious from the dark circles under them that I haven’t been able to sleep. And my cheeks look a little sunken because I haven’t been able to eat or drink much of anything.
I just can’t stop thinking about Cooper. As much as I want to hate him for lying, I just can’t. I’m still angry but I think I’m more disappointed than anything else. Why would he lie to me? Patti has made it very clear that she wants me to phone him back but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I guess I’m still too raw with emotion.
Plus, I needed to get my head back in the game. Spending time with Cooper made me think all kinds of things that are incompatible with my goals. He made me think about having a relationship and even getting married someday and having kids. I never gave those things much thought before I met him.
I have to wonder if maybe it was for the best that he lied to me. Without Cooper as a distraction I can concentrate on my career. But if that’s what I really want, why does it make me feel so empty inside?
I feel like I must be seeing things when I see a guy who looks a lot like Cooper standing in front of the H & C building. He’s wearing Khaki pants and a Polo shirt that remind me of the ones Cooper was wearing when I first met him.
As I get closer to the guy, and my heart starts to quiver, I realize that it is Cooper outside the building.
“What are you doing here?” I demand as I cross my arms over my chest.
Cooper looks as sad as I feel. And he’s got sunken cheeks and dark eye circles that are almost identical to mine.
“I’m so sorry,” he says. He lifts his hand up and it looks like he wants to touch my face, but at the last minute he puts his hands in his pants pockets instead.
I can feel my heart racing. Although he looks truly remorseful I need some kind of explanation. I need answers.
“Why didn’t you tell me you went to Columbia? And that you work on Wall Street? And that you live in Manhattan and drive a BMW? How could you hide all of those things from me? I feel like I don’t even know you.”
“You know me,” he replies. He looks so completely defeated and it’s tearing my heart into pieces. “You said you didn’t want a Wall Street wannabe, remember? What was I supposed to do? I wanted to be with you, Riley. I still do. I didn’t want you to put me in the No column before you even got to know me. Yes, I’m all those things that you claim to despise. But I’m also the country guy from rural New Jersey. I’ve been that guy my whole life. It’s not a lie. But I’m also that guy in New York that you say you’ve dated a million times. Can’t you see that I’m not just one thing? You can’t just put people into a single category so you have a little box to check off. Oh, he’s a hick. He’s a Wall Streeter. People are a lot more complex than that.”
So many conflicting thoughts are swirling around in my head. I feel so confused. I’m not sure what’s right and what’s wrong. Did I have some hand in creating this mess? Was I too strong in my disdain for Wall Street wannabes that he felt like he didn’t have a choice but to hide a part of himself? But he kept such a significant part of himself from me that I feel like I don’t know him like I thought I did. And can I trust someone who started out our relationship with a lie? Was what we were doing even a relationship at all? Maybe it wasn’t anything more than a weekend fling and that’s all that it’s supposed to be.
“There’s a lot I need to think about,” I admit.
He nods but I can see his eyes are getting a little moist in the corners. “We’re good together, Riley. I hope you’ll consider giving us another chance.”
I think he’ll walk away but he just stands there looking at me. I feel like my entire body is being ripped into pieces.
“I have to get to work,” I say.
“I know,” he replies.
Then he leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips. It’s tender but I can feel the need behind the tenderness. “Think about that too,” he whispers in my ear.
My knees are too weak to even move as I watch him walk away.
***
It’s difficult to work. All I can think about is Cooper. Part of me wants to just let him go but another part of me can no longer imagine a life without him. I thought I’d be able just to have a weekend fling but my heart seems to have gotten in the way.
I guess it’s time to admit that I’m starting to have real feelings for him. My head knows it’s too soon. I haven’t known him that long. And what I thought I knew about him isn’t even true.
Well, not completely true.
But my heart doesn’t seem to care what my head thinks. My heart starts to flutter whenever I think about Cooper.
And then there’s my body. My body craves his touch, his embrace, his lips on mine.
I like how I feel when we’re together and I’m having trouble admitting that I miss him.
***
“You look like shit,” Patti says as she takes a bite of her ham and cheese filled croissant.
“I actually look a lot better than I did last week,” I reply.
I take a sip of my iced chai latte. It’s been a week since I saw Cooper standing outside the bank. I haven’t heard from him and I assume it’s because he’s giving me time to think about everything.
At least I hope that’s the case. I hope he hasn’t decided to move on.
I’m not sure what’s stopped me from calling him. I think I’m afraid that if we do get together again that my life will change forever. Right now, I’m on a set career path and my future is clear. Work is my only priority. I know if things progress with Cooper that path is bound to change. I’d have to make room in my life for him. I’m not sure I’m ready for my life to change that drastically.
“Why haven’t you called him? You know you want to. And you’re going to be miserable until you do.”
“I’m not ready,” I reply.
“Stop being a baby. You need to leave the nest and fly. Or do you need for mama bird to push you out?”
I take a bite of my spinach quiche but it’s hard to swallow. I haven’t been able to eat much since I left New Jersey—and Cooper. I just haven’t had any appetite.
“I paid good money for that quiche, Riley.” Pattie glares at me. “You’d better eat it.”
I frown.
“You can afford it. Not only do you make more than I do, your parents are loaded and they supplement your income.”
“You still need to eat. You’re losing your buns and boobs. Your two finest assets. Guys don’t like flat on either end. They like round. And round requires a little bit of food.”
“Like you’re one to talk,” I counter. “You’re taller than me and you’re like a size Zero.”
She pushes her barely eaten food aside. “We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you. Now I’m going to sit here and stare at you until you take at least two more bites of that.”
“Fine,” I snap. I make a point of dramatically taking several bites of the quiche and forcing it down. “Now are you happy, Mom?”
“Ecstatic,” she replies. “Now about Thursday night. I’m horny as hell and I need a wing woman.”
“No way.” I shake my head vigorously for emphasis.
“Yes way. You only have to stay until I hook up with someone and I’ll even pay for your cab fare home.”
“Do you promise you’ll find someone on our first drinks? I’d like to be home by seven.”
“Why? Are you going to turn into a pumpkin or something?”
“I just don’t feel like being around people right now. Is that okay?”
She furrows her brow. “No, it’s not okay. That’s why you’re coming with me. No excuses.”
I know she’s relentless and will never give up. “Fine. But I’m only doing this because you’ll annoy me until I agree.”
“And because you’re my best friend,” she adds.
“I’m your only friend,” I remind her.
“That, too.”
***
“What are we doing here?” I ask Patti as we stand outside The Cloak and Dagger. I’m not sure why the name sounds familiar. I don’t think Patti has dragged me here before.
Wilde Riders (Old Town Country Romance) Page 13
