I rubbed his back then growled as Carlos muttered, “He"s right, you know.”
“I know he"s right,” I said through clenched teeth. I looked back at Carlos and let my eyes apologize for me. Carlos nodded and put his hand on my shoulder.
“So, if she has access to our cameras, how are we going to plan anything without her knowing?” I said.
“We"ll have to all link,” Matt said.
“But if we"re just sitting in a room staring at each other, don"t you think she"ll know that we"re linking? That we"re planning? And she might try to work her way in?” I said.
“Well, I"ve been thinking about that,” Matt said. “If we"re linked, but doing something that she"d never suspect us to be doing while we"re linked, we might be able to foolher.”
“But, what could we possibly be doing that she would think we"d never be linked…” Carlos said, then his eyes popped open and he held up his hands. “Oh, hell no,” he said, “Hell no, no way, not a chance, no, no, no…”
“Carlos,” Matt said, “we wouldn"t actually be doing that, we"d be pretending. You"d be pretending to sleep, and we"d be pretending to… she"d never in a million years guess that we were linked.”
Carlos" head was in his hands. “Please, man, please don"task me to do this,” he groaned. “Why do I have to be sleeping? Why can"t I have someone with me too?”
Matt shook his head. “We can"t trust anyone else to tell them, you know that.”
“I know,” he groaned, “but, shit, man, this is so far over the line.”
“Do you have any better ideas?” Matt said.
He stared at us for a minute, then squeezed his eyes shut. “No, damn it,” he groaned. His head shot up. “But, seriously, if I ever get one hint that you"re no longer pretending, one deep breath, one faster heartbeat, anything at all, then I"m outta there, you understand?”
We both nodded. “Understood,” Matt said then he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “I need to sleep for a little while now, okay?” I pulled his head to my shoulder as I stared at Carlos, trying to figure out the complete pain and panic in his eyes. He stared back at me. Suddenly he was in my head. ‘Sarah, please, I don’t think I can do this,’ he thought.
‘It’ll be okay, Carlos, I promise,’ I thought back. ‘I’ll be sure to tell you if you need to leave.’
He shook his head. ‘That’s not what I’m worried about,’ he thought, and I saw more fear in his eyes.
‘Then what is it?’ I thought.
He stared for what seemed like forever, then he looked away, not wanting to meet my eyes as he thought, ‘Sarah, something happened in these last few months. I know you felt it too. I’ve seen it in your eyes. I’ve felt it in you. I’ve seen it in your dreams. What if I can’t leave, Sarah? What if I don’t want to leave?’
‘Oh,’ I thought.
‘Oh?’ he thought. ‘That’s all you can say is ‘oh’? I take it from your lack of a denial that you have felt it too?’
‘What am I supposed to say?’ I thought.
‘I don’t know,’ he thought, ‘get angry, get pissed, hate me. Tell me I’m a fucking pervert and I should back off. Tell me my feelings are wrong.’
‘You know I can’t do that, Carlos. I could never hate you. And I wish I could tell you that what you’re feeling is wrong, and that I don’t feel it too, but I can’t,’ I thought.
His eyes locked on mine as he thought, ‘I know that you and Matt are perfect together, you belong together. I know that if you and I ever did… hook up it would probably, no, not probably, it would ruin all the good we have between us right now. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it, a lot, lately. I’ve never been the guy that somebody needed. I’ve never been the guy that someone relied on to help them, not like this. Something changed during this past month. Something changed and I like it. I adore you, Sarah, and even though it’s wrong, I can’t help but imagine what it would be like to be with you.’
I stared back at him, trying unsuccessfully to find the anger that I should be feeling. Finally I leaned my head back, closed my eyes and thought, ‘So, stay.’
‘WHAT!’ he thought. ‘Not funny, Sarah. Not funny at all.’
I opened my eyes and looked at him. ‘I’m not joking. Stay if you need to. Just don’t let me know that you’re there. I don’t think that crosses any line that we shouldn’t cross, does it?’ I thought.
He leaned back and closed his eyes. ‘And you say I’m a pervert. No wonder I love you so much. You’re as sick and twisted as I am,’ he thought, and I saw the corners of his mouth turn up.
We slept the rest of the way, including during our refueling stop in Bogota, Columbia. We finally pulled into the compound, exhausted but anxious, just after midnight on July 31. A little over thirty days to plan a party and prepare for the fight of our lives.
Chapter Eight
Our first stop was the kitchen. We downed six pints each, knowing how important it was to build up our strength then we shuffled down the hall to our rooms. I smiled at Tracy who was waiting by Carlos" door. “Welcome back, Sarah, Matthew,” she said as she looked down at our hands to see our scars. “It"s great to see you both again.”
“Thank you Tracy,” I said. “I t"s nice to be back.” I was holding Carlos" hand, and neither one of us seemed to want to let go. Finally I swallowed the lump in my throat, leaned up to kiss his cheek and say, “Good night, Carlos. We"ll see you in the morning.”
I saw the pain in his eyes too as he kissed my cheek and quietly whispered in my ear, “I love you, kiddo.”
I nodded to him then turned to Matthew. He pulled me into his arms then turned around and smiled at Tracy. “Prepare yourself, Tracy, it"s been a while for him,” he said.
She smiled at Carlos and said, “Oh, I think I can handle him.”
Matt reached out and placed his hand on Carlos" shoulder. “Thanks, man, for watching over her, for taking care of her, for bringing her back to me,” he said.
Carlos rested his hand on Matt"s arm. “Thank me after we"ve ripped Malina toshreds,” he said. Carlos and I locked eyes one more time, then I turned with Matt and we walked to our room. Matt admired the new window in the bedroom with the bars on it.
“It"s supposedly unbreakable glass,” I said. “I had it put in Carlos" room too.”
“Are you okay, Sarah?” Matt quietly said as he sat on the bed.
I was afraid to turn around and look at him, the absolute last thing I wanted to do was hurt him, especially after everything he"d been through. “I will be,” I said as I stared out the window into the courtyard, with my back safely to Matt.
“Do you want me to sleep on the couch?” he mumbled. Now that got my attention. I spun around and flew instantly into his arms, cradling his face in my hands.
“Absolutely not!” I said. I was furious with myself. I had kept quiet and yet still hurt him anyway. “Please don"t think this is about you or about us. I love you and want you more than ever. This is only about me, about who I am, about me being the protector and making sure everyone is happy. He and I shared a very intense experience, I won"t deny that. But this is only about me wanting to make sure he"s happy and having a hard time letting go until he is. Nothing more. Damn it! Why do I keep hurting you?”
“You"re not,” he said. “I just keep jumping to the wrong conclusions. I need to stop doing that.”
“But I am hurting you,” I said. “I can see it in your eyes.” I fell to my knees and rested my head on his legs. “I"m so sorry,” I sobbed.
“Oh, honey,” he said. “Please don"t ever be sorry for who you are. We"re still learning about each other. That"s going to take a little time.” He slid down the bed onto the floor so that I was between his legs. I rested my head on his shoulder, nuzzling my face into his neck. He rubbed my back then caressed the back of my neck. A shiver went down my spine. I took a deep breath. Breathing in his scent, I instantly felt my emotions change, my eyes change, my fangs drop. Panting already, I looked at him. “
How the hell do you do that?” I said.
He grinned and planted his mouth on mine and mumbled,“It"s a gift.”
“That keeps on giving,” I groaned.
I was awake, but definitely not ready to get up yet. Eyes closed, I was lightly tracing my fingers across Matt"s chest. Suddenly we both heard a commotion out in the courtyard. I threw on my robe, Matt pulled on his sweats and we went to the window. I heard our door open and, since I knew who had come in, I said, “What"s going on Carlos?”
“Some stranger, a vampire named Bobby is askingto come in,” he said.
Matt looked out the window. “Bobby?” he said. “Carlos, can you please ask Ramon to bring him to interrogation room one?”
“The Bobby who helped you escape, but who was one of Malina"s followers?” Carlos said.
I squeezed Matt"shand tight. “Honey, can you go with Carlos, please?” Matt said. I opened my mouth to protest, but he kissed the back of my hand and said, “You two can watch from the observation room, but until I can figure out why he"s here, I don"t want him to see either one of you at all, okay? This is very important, don"t let him see you. I don"t want him to know that you"re here. If he"s still working for Malina, then it"s better to let him think that you and Carlos are still gone.”
I nodded, kissed him and reluctantly let go of his hand. “Give me two minutes to get dressed,” I said over my shoulder to Carlos.
“No prob,” he said as he sat down on the end of the bed.
I emerged from the bathroom a minute later, casually dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, a little surprised that Matt was already gone. I sat down next to Carlos on the bed and placed my hand in his. “I"m struggling here, Carlos. I don"t know why, but I"m not sure I can find a way to let you go,” I said.
Carlos shook his head. “Not now, Sarah. Now"s not the time to do this. The three of us need to get through this next month, then we can worry about this, okay?” he whispered, but I could see he was struggling too.
I stood up, turned around and hugged him tight. “Promise me we"ll fix this, Carlos. You"re my best friend. I can"t lose that.”
“Sarah. I"m not going anywhere and neither is my friendship. I promise,” he said as he squeezed me tight.
I nodded. “Thanks, hun. But you"re right. We do have something bigger that we need to focus on. Come on, let"s go,” I said.
We walked out into the hall, toward the security rooms. We were halfway down the hall, in what was known by everyone as „the dead zone," simply because it was the only place where there weren"t any rooms, just solid stone walls, when we heard the voices approaching the corner.
“I hope you understand,” Matt was saying, “but I have to be sure.”
“I get it,” another voice said (Bobby, I assumed), “it"s cool.”
We heard their footsteps closing in on the corner. I glanced down the hall– too far to run before they at least saw the back of us, and Matt was clear that he didn"t want us to be seen at all. A glance back up the hall and I saw a hand and a foot as they reached the corner. One more step and they"d turn, and see us. Suddenly Carlos" hand was around my waist and he opened the only door here. A tiny utility closet, which was basically a door placed over a small alcove. Large enough for a bucket, mop, broom and a few cleaning supplies, definitely not large enough for a person, let alone two. He pulled me tight, we stepped in and he closed the door. We were squished together like sardines. ‘Shhhh,’ he thought as he reached out to me. I could hear the footsteps in the hall now, just a few more seconds and they"d be past us. I tried to shift my legs when I felt something hard poking the front of my hip. ‘Sarah, stop squirming,’ Carlos thought. I ignored him and tried to move again. ‘Please, Sarah. For God’s sake, stop,’ he thought.
‘But there’s something poking…’ I thought then stopped when I realized what it was. ‘Oh,’ I thought, then I could help it, I started silently giggling.
‘Stop laughing, it’s not funny,’ he thought.
‘I can’t help it,’ I thought, my body jiggling with laughter. ‘I feel like I’m slow-dancing in junior high again. If I remember correctly, we used to call these boner dances.’
Suddenly I saw the total pain on his face and my eyes went wide as I realized what he was going to do. ‘Carlos, no, don’t,’ I thought as his hands came to either side of my face.
‘Oh, hell, Sarah,’ he thought as his mouth crushed down on mine, taking my breath away.
‘No, no, no, no, no,’ I kept thinking. I expected my arms to push him away but my body betrayed me. I instantly responded to him. I couldn"t stop my arms from pulling him tighter, couldn"t stop my pelvis from pressing into him, couldn"t push away his hand as it reached under my shirt, couldn"t stop myself from wanting more, couldn"t stop from wanting what I felt grinding into my belly to be inside me. I was on fire as my tongue danced around his. His pelvis pressed into me again and again, harder and faster. If there was any more room in the tiny closet, I would have been naked by now. I felt his body shiver, felt the moan that he suppressed then felt him slightly relax. He stopped kissing me and put his forehead on mine, ‘Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,’ he kept thinking. I couldn"t get my mind to work right
– on one hand I was still panting, completely turned on and desperately wanting more. On the other, much more important hand, I was completely head over heels in love with my husband, what the hell was wrong with me?
‘Say something Sarah,’ he thought, his eyes begging me for forgiveness.
‘That… can… never happen again, ever,’ I thought as I reached for the doorknob. The hall had been empty for a while now. I walked out, smoothing my hair and shirt, as Carlos followed.
‘I’m so, so sorry Sarah,’ he thought.
‘I know, and I also know that wasn’t all you, Carlos. But I can’t do this. I can’t do this to Matt. I can’t do this to you. I can’t do this to me. I just can’t,’ I thought. He followed me into the observation room, and we sat down to watch Matthew talk to Bobby. Neither of us paid any attention though, we were both completely distracted.
‘We can’t stop this, can we?’ he thought.
I squeezed my eyes shut. ‘We can and we will, Carlos. We have to. You’re my best friend, Carlos. You’re his best friend. I love my husband more than I’ve ever loved anyone before. I want him more than anything. There is nothing lacking in my heart or in my sex life with him, and yet, and yet, suddenly I want you too,’ I thought.
‘How did this happen?’ he thought.
‘I don’t know. Maybe it was because you saw me at my most vulnerable. Maybe because you helped me through what I thought at the time was a completely traumatic event– first with Matt being taken and then with his supposed death. You were there for me and he wasn’t. It’s not his fault that he wasn’t, but he wasn’t. I don’t know what changed, but we have to figure out a way to change it back. And don’t you dare just up and leave, because not having you as a friend in my life is far worse. That I know I wouldn’t survive,’ I thought.
‘I have to tell you something,’ he thought.
‘Don’t Carlos,’ I thought. I knew him so well that I knew exactly what he was going to say. I could feel it. And I definitely didn"t want to hear it.
‘I’ve never said it to anyone, ever, in my life,’ he thought.
‘Please don’t, Carlos,’ I thought, squeezing my eyes tighter.
‘It’s something I never thought I’d ever say, at least not say and truly mean it,’ he thought.
‘I’m begging you Carlos, please don’t. I don’t think I can handle hearing this right now,’ I thought, knowing he"d ignore me and say it anyways.
‘I’m in love with you,’ he thought. ‘He’s my best friend, you’re my best friend, you’re his wife, you love him, I don’t want you to ever leave him, it’s wrong on so many levels, but despite all that I’m completely in love with you.’
I slowly pushed my chair back, stood up and turned to walk out. I heard his chair move. “Don"t,” I said out loud. I walk
ed alone to the kitchen. I was disappointed when I walked in and saw Ramon. I wanted to drink alone and be alone. I was so flustered right now that I completely forgot that we were questioning his loyalties.
“Hello Sarah,” he said. Pulling an envelope from under his arm he said, “I was just bringing this to you, it came while you were away.”
“Thank you, Ramon,” I said as I took it. He walked out and I was, thankfully, finally alone. I popped two pints into the microwave, drank quickly and failed miserably at trying not to think about what Carlos had said. I decided that I needed a distraction. I stared at and then finally opened the envelope. Inside was a small piece of paper. I pulled it out and stared at the words. “Your room now, or they both die.”
That"s all it said. The paper fluttered to the floor under the table as I ran out of the room.
Chapter Nine
I covered the distance from the kitchen to our room in half a second. I threw open the door, went in about ten feet, and stopped. Glancing frantically around, the room seemed empty, until I heard the door close slowly behind me. I turned, expecting to see Malina, and growled when it was Ramon, and he was smiling. I sprang at him, knocking him into the wall. My fury grew as he laughed. I punched him in the face and spat, “I"m going to kill you.”
“If you do,” he said as he rubbed his jaw, “you" ll never hear her message to you.”
I froze my arm, which was in mid-swing, but kept my other hand pinned to his throat. “What message, asshole?” I said.
He smiled, but there was hatred in his eyes. “I"d think about being a little nicer if I were you,” he said.
“I"ll think about it,” I said. “What message?”
He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. “This is a map to a cave about a mile up the mountain. She"s waiting for you there. Only you. She says, if you go to her, alone, then when she takes back the fortress, she"ll allow both Matthew and Carlos to live, although I"m having a hard time figuring out why. She seems to think their knowledge is valuable. Personally, I think they"re couple of wimps, weakened from their blind lust for you.”
Malina's Revenge Page 8
