“Citera are you in there?” Dirik’s voice sounded from outside the tent, interrupting her thoughts and causing her to jump. Dazed she glanced behind her at the still closed flap.
Dang it. She thought, quickly but carefully shoving the image back inside the book. She should have known her father would send him after her when she didn’t show up at the medical tent. But after weeks of being hovered over and watched like she would break into a thousand tiny pieces at any moment, all she had wanted was a little time to herself so she could clear her head and figure out what she could do to fill this incessant void growing in her.
“Citera?”
For a brief moment, she considered ignoring him to see if he would go away. Yeah right, this is Dirik, she laughed internally at the absurdity of her own thought. Chances were, he had probably followed her up here in his normal creeper fashion.
“Yeah, I’m here, just give me a minute, okay?” She called back as she worked to straighten the disheveled clothes. Gently she then placed the book on top of the arranged pile and covered it with more of the clothing. Satisfied that she had done all she could to conceal her snooping, she was about to close the lid to the trunk, when the glinting of something metal caught her attention. Curious as to what is was, she brushed aside the layers of black silk that had originally concealed it from her view and revealed the steel blade of an antique dagger. Simplistic in design and somewhat bulky in appearance, it didn’t look anything like the decorative silver blades K normally kept on her person. But despite its rough appearance, it was obvious the craftsmanship that had gone into making it, however long ago, had been nothing short of superb.
It must mean something to K for her to have kept it this long, she thought to herself as she wrapped her fingers around the smooth wooden handle and lifted the blade free of its resting place. Tossing it back and forth from one hand to the other, she tested the weight of the dagger, and was surprised that not only did the shape and size of the handle seem to be perfectly designed for her hands, but that the blade was a lot lighter than she had imagined it would be. It’s almost like it was made for me.
“Can I come in yet?” Dirik called. She could hear the nervousness in his voice. Concerned for her or not, coming into K’s tent was really the last thing he wanted to do.
“No… just a second, I’m coming out.” She called. Knowing there was no way she would be able to stall him much longer, she made a snap decision to take the dagger with her. I’ll give it back to her when she returns, she told herself as she shoved the blade into the back of her skirt and pulled her shirt tail over the top of it to conceal it from view. She then closed the lid of the trunk, being careful not to make any noise to alert Dirik of her thieving, and hurried to the flap to meet him outside.
Pushing through the front, she knocked him clean onto his ass when her body collided with his head, which he had pressed against the outside of the canvas in an attempt to hear what she was doing. Laughing as he scowled up at her, she stood back and watched as he pulled himself to his feet and dusted off his pants. “A little warning would have been nice,” he grumbled.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you were snooping again.” She chuckled.
“You have a lot of room to talk,” he retorted. “What were you doing in there anyway?”
“Honestly, I don’t know.” She sighed with a weak smile, “I guess I was hoping for a miracle.”
Dirik’s expression immediately softened. “It’s getting worse?” he asked, already knowing the answer.
“Yeah,” she shrugged nonchalantly, trying to make light of the situation. “I was hoping there would be something in there that might help.”
“Well, did you find anything?”
Her thoughts went immediately to the dagger she had found. There was no way she was going to tell him about that though. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Dirik, but if her father ever found out she was carrying around a weapon, he would go ballistic.
“Not really,” she lied. Wanting to change the subject, she then asked, “So are you following me again, or did my dad send you to find me?”
A sheepish look instantly came over Dirik. “A little of both,” he admitted, dropping his gaze to the ground. “He asked me to stay behind this morning when you said you would meet him at the medical tent later. I guess he figured you were planning on ditching him.”
“I am not ditching him.” Citera protested as a wave of guilt clenched her gut at the thought of her father thinking she was trying to avoid him; although it was partially true. At that moment, another wave of pain raced through her body causing her to grimace and wrap her arms around her middle. Closing her eyes, Citera breathed through the pain as best she could. Once the wave had passed, she reopened her eyes to find Dirik staring at her, his expression a mixture of sadness and pity. Sighing she gestured at him, “I’m just so tired of being gawked at and having everyone walk around staring at me like I might die at any moment. What’s even worse is now the majority of the camp won’t talk to me anymore, although they are more than comfortable whispering behind my back when they think I can’t hear them.”
Running her hand through her hair, she glanced down at the people moving up and down the paths of the housing district below her. “It’s like they think if they don’t acknowledge what is happening to me and K, then they are free to go about their lives, pretending all is like it was before.” Struggling to hold back the tears that threatened to break free, Citera fought down another wave of pain as she returned her attention to Dirik, “But it’s not the same Dirik. Me, you, my dad, Tyran, and the others, we all know it. The villages bordering the clearing are steadily filling with patrols, and any day now they are going to get brave enough to start wandering into the woods. And when that happens, even they aren’t going to be able to ignore the problem any longer. Because sooner or later we all are going to have to fight for the freedom we have been taking for granted, or risk losing it forever. And I don’t know about you, but I sure would feel a lot better about going to war with the Shadows if K was here to stand by our side.”
“Wow,” Dirik gaped. “And here I thought you were just trying to get me alone so you could have me all to yourself.”
Unable to stop herself, Citera doubled over in laughter. And she continued to laugh, nearly in hysterics, until her sides began to hurt and the tears that she had fought so hard to hold in flowed freely down her cheeks. Watching her, Dirik grinned and crossed his arms over his chest, “I don’t know whether to be happy or offended by that reaction.”
Rushing forward, Citera wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, catching him completely off guard. She could feel him tense under the closeness of her embrace, but didn’t care. Instead she pulled him in tighter against her and pressed her head against his chest. “Thank you.” She said quietly, once her laughter had finally settled.
Relaxing ever so slightly, he laid a gentle hand on her upper back. “You know I will always be here for you.” He said, grinning down at her with that boyish expression. “Even if you don’t always want me to be.”
Their faces were only a breath apart as they stood at the top of that hill, locked in an embrace and staring into each other’s eyes. Neither of them could deny the pull they felt toward the other, but neither one was willing to close that last bit of distance and risk doing something that would change the dynamic of a relationship that they had both grown comfortable with. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, though Citera was certain only seconds had passed, Dirik pulled back and cleared his throat. “So, what do you want to do today?”
Furrowing her brow, she stepped back, “What do you mean? I thought you were here to take me back to my dad?”
“Naw,” Dirik shrugged. “He figured if you went through so much trouble to get away, then you probably needed the alone time. So he told me to just follow and keep an eye on you while you did whatever it was you were planning on doing.”
“So I have the whole day off?”
“Yep. S
o, what’s the plan? Do you want to go hang out in the cooking tent and listen to the ladies tell their stories?”
Twisting her mouth, Citera considered his suggestion. She did love to sit in the tent and listen to the older ladies. However, just like before when K had disappeared, Citera had begun finding it increasingly more difficult to eat. In the beginning the blocks had helped, but as more and more time passed with her away, it had now escalated to the point where it was hard to even look at food, much less try to keep anything down. Just the thought of going to the meal tent and breathing in the aromas that she usually found so mouthwatering, now only filled her mouth with bile and churned her stomach uncomfortably.
Somehow managing to keep her face straight, she smiled weakly at Dirik. The last thing she needed was him and her dad supervising all her meals. And knowing her dad, that was exactly what he would do if he found out she was skipping them again. Instead she considered her options before glancing over her shoulder at the trail behind her. “Naw, let’s go to the stream instead.”
Turning back to face Dirik, she started at the expression she was met with. “Surely you aren’t serious.” He retorted after a few tense moments.
“Sure, why not?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips. Of course, she knew exactly what his reservation was about. The last time the two of them had been in the forest, K knocked Dirik out with a sleeping spell and when he woke up she had vanished, only to suddenly reappear five days later covered in bruises with no memory of where she had been all that time. That was also the day K had apparently been taken against her will. “And quit looking at me like I’m crazy.”
“I will not, because that is exactly how you’re acting!” Dirik argued, his voice growing louder with each word. “Have you forgotten what happened the last time we went out there alone?”
“No.” She snapped.
“Then give me one good reason why we should go back.”
“Because it was the last place I saw her!” she yelled. Dirik visibly jolted and she immediately regretted losing her temper. She knew he was only trying to protect her. Even so she was unable to quell the rising emotions as she continued to plead her point. “I know it sounds crazy Dirik. Believe me, I know it does. But I am desperate. I can feel my time running out and this emptiness inside me growing stronger. If I don’t do something soon to help fill this void…”
Before she could finish a wave of intense pain clenched her chest. Screaming in agony, Citera clutched the offending area and fell to her knees.
“Citera!” Dirik rushed forward, kneeling beside her. Unsure of what he could do to help, he slowly pulled her tightly against his chest and cradled her head.
“Please, Dirik.” She pleaded, misty eyes locked on the ground below. “I just feel like if I can somehow find a way to reconnect with her, then the pain will stop.”
“Citera, I...” he paused, as she raised her gaze to meet with his, her eyes begging him not to reject her. He exhaled deeply, knowing there was no way he was going to be able to deny her. “Just for the record… I am doing this under duress.”
Delight untwisted her pained expression, revealing to him the Citera he had come to know and love. Suddenly, as if all the pain and sadness she had been feeling only moments before had simply vanished, Citera jumped to her feet, pulling him along with her. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around his neck, she placed a chaste kiss upon his cheek. “I knew you wouldn’t let me down. Now let’s go!”
When she released him, Citera watched amused as Dirik’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly, though no sound escaped him. Seeming to have succeeded in rendering him incapable of shaping even the simplest words into sentences, Citera latched ahold of Dirik’s hand and dragged him down the trail and into the forest. Together they wove their way through the darkness without a word, reaching the valley near the stream in record time.
Entering the clearing, Citera hesitated at the edge of the grassy field to appreciate the serenity of the scenery around her. “It was over there,” she said quietly, pointing across the waves of pale green grass toward the rocky edge of the stream. “That was where we sat down and K took the block from me.”
“What else do you remember about that day?” Dirik asked, having apparently regained use of his voice.
“Not much other than what I already told you guys.” Citera answered honestly. “I wish I could remember more, but it’s like there is a wall in my mind that blocks me whenever I try to remember anything after falling asleep.”
“Maybe if we act it out… you know, retrace our steps that day, it will help you recall something.”
Citera considered it for a moment then shrugged, “We can give it a try, it’s not like I have anything else planned for today.”
She had barely spoken the words when Dirik snatched her wrist and dragged her in the direction of the stream. Giggling Citera followed. “What are you doing?”
“Repeating our actions of course.” He said smirking back at her over his shoulder, “so let’s go swimming.”
Laughing out loud, Citera picked up her pace to match his, and together they dashed through the waist deep grass. At the edge of the frigid waters, she and Dirik both immediately kicked off their shoes. She then watched, giggling like a school girl as Dirik struggled to turn up the legs of his hand-me-down pants; which happened to be several sizes too large for his lean frame and required multiple folds and tucks to successfully achieve. Once satisfied with the end results, Dirik dashed toward the water and waded in knee deep, then beckoned her to follow.
Frowning, Citera glanced down at her own attire. When she had awakened this morning, she had planned to spend the day with her father, like all the others since K’s disappearance, working in the medical tent. And since the long pants on these hotter days tended to make her sweaty and uncomfortable, she had pulled on the lightest most comfortable outfit she could find: a long, loose linen skirt and thin blouse. Unfortunately, this was definitely not the outfit for swimming. It would only take one good splash of the stream’s frigid water and she would be standing in front of Dirik essentially in her underwear. Disheartened she raised her gaze to meet Dirik’s, “I don’t think I can, Dirik. These clothes… They aren’t exactly made for swimming.”
“Oh.” He mumbled, studying her closely as he waded back out of the stream. Stopping in front of her, he tilted his head and considered her wardrobe for a second, before he slipped off his shirt.
“What are you doing!” Citera gasped and laughed at the same time, trying her hardest not to openly gawk at his well-defined torso.
“Giving you the shirt off my back.” He answered, grinning. “It’s not like I need it to go swimming.”
“But that still doesn’t change the fact I am wearing a dress.” She countered, crossing her hands and refusing his offer.
“Just fold it up.”
“What?”
“Pull the back to the front and tuck it in the waist.” Dirik repeated. Then, seeing her lost expression shook his head and he tossed the shirt at her face, forcing her to catch it. Stepping forward as she pulled the brightly striped material on over her head, he gestured toward her skirt. “May I?”
Looking down, then back at him confused, she shrugged. “Ummm… I guess.” Though her response sounded more like a question than an answer, it was all the permission Dirik needed. Dropping to his knees in front of her, he reached between her ankles, grabbed the back half of her skirt, and pulled it between her legs. “Dirik what the heck?” Citera shrieked, as he rose back to his feet pulling half of her skirt up and between her thighs.
“Now just tuck this piece into your waistband and there you have it… pants.” He laughed as she snatched the skirt free from his grasp.
Doing as he said, Citera glanced down at the bunched-up material and wrinkled her nose, “Pants?” she huffed, “It looks more like a giant diaper.” A noise, sounding like a cross between a snort and a cough pulled her attention back to Dirik, w
ho was trying to avoid looking at her while covering his mouth with one hand. “Are you laughing at me?” she snapped.
“No.” he squeaked, failing miserably at keeping his amusement hidden. He struggled for a few more moments, until finally he couldn’t contain it any longer, and let loose a loud belly laugh. “I’m so sorry Citera, I can’t help it! You look ridiculous.” And with that he bent in half cackling like a mad hyena.
As much as she wanted to be angry at him for laughing at her, when Citera glanced down at the mass of pastel floral material bunched between her legs, in contrast to the bold stripes of Dirik’s shirt, she too broke down in a fit of laughter. “I look like one of those jesters from the traveling carnival,” she howled.
“No!” Dirik laughed loudly, “You look worse! At least they know not to combine flowers with stripes!”
“Ohhhh, now you are a fashion expert.” Citera smirked, “Let’s see how funny it is when that cold water hits all that bare skin!”
“You have to catch me first!” Dirik shouted, as he spun and headed back in the direction of the stream. Citera followed close behind and as soon as her feet took their first plunge into the frigid depths, she scooped up the biggest handful of water she could manage and sent it flying his direction. The cascade of freezing water, landing on his exposed flesh, instantly froze Dirik in his tracks.
“Oh, that’s how you want to be,” Dirik smiled slyly. Shaking out his drenched hair, he bent forward and scooped up a copious amount of the icy water.
“Don’t you dare, Dirik.” Citera shrieked, spinning to run in the opposite direction.
“Give me one good reason why not.” He challenged, closing in on her.
“If you get me wet, you’ll have to walk home without a shirt!” she laughed.
“I can live with that.” And without another word, he sent the wave of water, flying in her direction.
The moment the icy droplets hit her skin, Citera sucked in a huge breath of air. Arms out and hair hanging in her face, she glowered at her attacker. “I can’t believe you just did that,” she growled through gritted teeth. To which Dirik merely laughed hysterically.
Forsaken (The Shadow Chronicles Book 3) Page 19
